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WIW and thoughts on body shape and personal style

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Here's what I wore today. I have gained 10 pounds in the last 3 months and it's really put me over the edge as far as being able to fit into - or, at least feel comfortable and fab in - quite a few things. I'll pull out something I wore last year and hesitate - will it still fit? It's awful, to be blunt. Not the worst thing that could happen, but decidedly unpleasant!

It has motivated me to buy some things that I can feel good in - namely jeans that fit with no muffin top and stretchy tube midi skirts (adore these!). I'm much more attracted to the prospect of tops that don't cling, or of substantial thickness. Not excited by the idea of waist belts or clingy knits.

This made me think about my personal style. The bottom line is that I am round and soft in body. Things that are cut in a way that doesn't accommodate my body look bad and don't fit - I mean things like menswear-style pants that are very straight with a low rise, pleated bottoms, long, boxy jackets, very short, boxy skirts, sack or a-line dresses (the former literally is a sack on my shape, the latter is never quite a-line enough to fit over my hips and butt). This general precludes mod-60's looks, androgynous menswear styles, and anything that is overly drapey (no big loose dresses over leggings), and anything that is too thin/clingy/short.

It's not that I can't style a look to reflect a vibe in the general direction of these styles, but ultimately the very items that define the look just don't play well with my body. For the most part I'm pretty OK with this, but sometimes (I'm looking at you, trouser jeans) it's frustrating.

What about you? Do you think that your style is influenced by your body and the shapes of clothes that suit it best? Or do you find a way to make an item work no matter the shape if it fits your style paradigm?

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Body Type

41 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

Carole

Veteran

Just right up front, I love this outfit, Jenava, and obviously you know how to dress your body. You have a very feminine vibe and the way you dress just enhances everything about your shape. I think knowing what works for your body as it is is critical for feeling good about getting dressed every day. Nothing is worse than squeezing into something that doesn't fit or fighting an article of clothing to work for you when it clearly doesn't. Keep up the good work. You look fab!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

My first reaction to your post is that you look gorgeous. Truly. I looked at the picture first (as I tend to do) and was just stunned. Ok, nonetheless, I do understand your weight frustration. I am short with a very small frame and even a few pounds make a huge difference in how my clothes fit. Plus I have a fat face! Even if I am just bloated my face blows up. Well enough about me. Anyway, I do think body shape, and more broadly one's general look, does influence one's style. A simple example: I do not have a defined waist, and as much as I love belts and other waist defining looks, they just don't work on me. In general I am not drawn toward bombshell styles, and this is probably a part of it.

I think consciously or not, we work with what we have and tend to lean toward styles that work on us. That said, most styles are pretty adaptable and if you have a true yen for something other than what is natural, there is probably a way to incorporate that.

I recently found David Kibbe's vintage fashion book, where he defines different types on a yin/yang scale and type women as romantic, dramatic, natural or gamine (there are also combinations). He then prescribes the appropriate style for each. I was fascinated but unconvinced. A lot of typing but no real answer I am afraid!

Deborah

Veteran

Jenava this is an excellent conversation.

Im at work so these are my immediate thoughts: Generally, I would say my body type most definitely influences my style. I may have some garments that are not my best look as far as figure flattery goes but I still wear them because they tick all the other boxes for me. For example, like you, pleats at the bottom do not work for me and I don't wear them. The sack dress style is not the most flattering because I am large busted but I have a black velvet one I love and wear and hopefully I style it in such a way that the eye is not drawn first to the bust and the line it creates.

There are many items that I would love to wear but not matter which way I try styling, it just doesn't look good... so I don't go there.

For the record, I think you look fabulous in your soft pink pleated skirt, and one of my favourite outfits of yours is a beautiful patterned loose fitting dress/tunic that you wear over leggings:)

And BTW, this outfit you are wearing looks stunning, and I hear you on the weight issue. My summer clothes are filling much more 'fitted' than last year. Im too scared to check the scales though

Aziraphale

Veteran

I've wondered this too. Do I prefer a certain style aesthetic because I've got used to wearing things that belong to that aesthetic on account of the fact that those things fit me properly? For example, I'm not hourglassy enough for 1950s full skirts and tight sweaters, and I never find myself trying to make that look work. I just stay away from it.

But then, I'm really drawn to the menswear look, and there are a lot of fit challenges for me there, on account of my extreme shortness. (Men are almost never 5'1", haha). I still find a way to make it work. It's true that my frame is already on the boyish side, I can make it look even more boyish more easily than I can make it look voluptuous. So I don't know, maybe there's a connection there.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I also love this outfit and agree with Carole that you do an outstanding job dressing your body. I always admire your sense of style.

Like you, I have a body that is all curves and softness. Not a straight line to be found anywhere. I have grappled with the fact that I am not built in a way that will ever appear athletic, gamine, or willowy, no matter how many miles I run or what I weigh. So lots of styles that would fit my style ideal simply don't work well on my body (I.e., patterned pants and leggings that look fantastic on IT or slim hourglass types). If I'm already feeling a little down emotionally, it can bug me, but for the most part I just accept it and move on to styles that fit my rubric *and* my body. But I am one of those for whom body flattery is usually a higher style priority than edginess or fashion-forwardness. At least at this point in my life. It allows me to feel comfortable in my clothes.

Raisin

Veteran

Firstly. You look so fab I that outfit! I never would have thought of the olive tights, but they're so playful and work well. This outfit suits your body wonderfully!

As for the loaded question...hehe. I think my style is influenced by my body shape. Overall I'm thin, I'm not totally sure what my shape is, but I have muscular legs as well. And I find that muscle can appear as "thunder thighs" if I'm not careful. Non skintight bottoms work best for me, which would mean I should lay off the skinny jean trend. But I still wear them, just making sure I balance myself out. I do like the menswear trend though, and a lot f it I think suits my frame. I think for the most part I tend to dress in styles that compliment my shape, I think intuitively I know what that is, or some element of it.

Diana

Veteran

Interesting conversation, Jenava. FWIW, I think you really know how to dress your body, and I always think of your style as "Old Hollywood Glam".

For me personally, there are definitely styles that don't fit my body at any size. When I weighed 20 lbs less than I do now, I was still pear shaped. In fact, I probably appeared *more* pear shaped because my top half was smaller. The styles that I can't do are similar to the ones that you've listed - androgynous, mod, boyfriend jackets, shift dresses, drop waists, etc. So the practicality is that my style is definitely limited by what I can and can't wear.

BUT, interestingly, there are styles that my body is perfect for which oddly make me feel even more uncomfortable than those that don't fit at all. The biggest one is anything body con or bombshell. For example, that Sue Wong sheath wedding dress I tried on - everyone said it looked amazing and yet when I look at the photos all I see are HIPS and CURVES and VAVAVOOM, which makes me so uncomfortable you have no idea. The last thing I want to be is sexy/voluptuous, and because I have a bombshell body it makes it worse because it is just too much.

Maybe this is why I'm drawn to arty styles with a little bit of hard edge, because they are neither too rigid/straight/angular but it is also not too sexy/curvaceous/soft. And, yeah, maybe it's a little weird or man-repelling at times, but I'm happy with that!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

shevia, yeah, the Kibbe book was a bit of jumping off point for my thoughts on this. But then the weight gain happened and I'm finding a mental shift happening in my style.

I find myself attracted to edgy, sharp lines but they just never look as good on me as they do in my head. Granted, I'm probably relatively disconnected in my head with my body until it's right there in front of me. Are people more/less like this? Maybe if a person is better able to imagine themselves in garments this disconnect between preferred self expression and body flattery/fit is less apparent?

For those interested in Meyers-Briggs, I'm an INFJ, which has been noted is a type that isn't very connected with their bodies (which can lead to hypochondria, fear that the smallest twinge is death knocking at the door...yeah, check.)

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

RunnerRae, i totally wear skinnies and I don't care! (-: As long as there's stretch in 'em...

Diana - YES, this is interesting, too. the "new look" 1950's style look, back when we were doing "dress the decade" was probably the most flattering for my shape, but I hate what it stands for. I hate the idea of being feminine in order to have sex appeal - fine for those who want that, but totally the opposite of my personality and thus completely outside my comfort zone! So, obvs this means that body flattery alone isn't enough, just like a personal style paradigm by itself might not be enough. This latter is kind of the point I think I'm trying to make...

skitt

I've been thinking about this a lot lately too - I just lost 10 pounds (10 more to go) and a lot of my clothes are not the best fit. I really need to think about where I want to go with my style, because I'm going to have a lot to buy sometime soon (hopefully).

My personal style is so disconnected from my body type, I'm finding it incredibly frustrating. I am a 34F/G and I was hoping the weight loss would help with that, but I'm not sure it's going to make as much of a difference as I hoped. I think maybe before I had my kids I was actually wearing the wrong bra size (34C or D), and it wasn't until I needed to be fitted for nursing bras I learned what proper fit was. My personal style preference would best be described as historic menswear. Military, equestrian, aviator you name it. I sometimes get a shoe catalog or see shoes online and get all excited by what I'm seeing, only to realize they're mens shoes, lol. Secondary style preference is probably the gamine look. I love so many shirts I see modeled by flat chested models and then realize it would never work on me. I hate 1950s styles, and I recently decided I'm a rectangle, not an hourglass, and a cinched in waist is not necessarily flattering anyway. I don't show cleavage. In the end I go with clothing that is flattering over personal style preference. I think it's hard to create a style based on images we see in fashion mags and clothing in catalogues because models pretty much come in one size and shape and real women are all over the place. You can't know until you try something on if it will work for you or not, no matter how much you try to read up on how to flatter your body shape. I can't follow much rectangle advice because I have big breasts, and often advice for women with big breasts assumes an hourglass figure. I just have to figure it all out myself.

deb

Veteran

Jenava, you look wonderful in this outfit! I totally understand where you are coming from about the dressing issue. I have always loved the sharp edged clothing that I currently see and I used to be able to wear. The 60's & 70's were meant for my shape then. The issue is, I am strill drawn to these styles even though my body can no longer wear them. It is a mental struggle. I think that is one of the reasons I am here at YLF. I am slowing adjusting my internal image of myself. I am now accepting the reality of my current shape and learning to like it.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Oh, and that is a good point, skitt, about pictures we see of models. SO not helpful when ones body type is so different than the typical model - little better than seeing it on a hanger in some cases.

Anonymous

I've been thinking a lot about this too. Some things that I really adore just don't look good on me, styles as well as colors. I guess I'll just have to enjoy them on other people. I'm getting to the point where I just accept that I'll never look good in a wrap dress or wide-legged trousers so why chase after them? I'm wondering what decade I should try to embrace for my shape, but I'm terrified it will include androgynous looks, which make me as uncomfortable as dressing like a bombshell does you and Diana!

DonnaF

Veteran

Jenava; I hear you. (And I'm an INTJ.) Today, I came back from my hair stylist's not feeling like *me.* For several decades (!) I've been sporting very short spikey hair. This summer, I decided it's time for a change and the only way to go was longer. Today, I feel like all the edginess is gone. Tomorrow, I will go at it with gel and see what I can do. My face is round without angles, same with my body -- no edginess there!

Just as my coloring is not cool and only slightly warm, I think my style is not Yin but not overly Yang either, but more Yang as I get older -- maybe due to less in the way of female hormones. Does that make sense? In the hippie days, I wanted to dress hippie, but flowy stuff just kinda makes me look dumpy. The sharp corners of a highly masculine cuts are better, but don't feel right, but a boyish cut is better, maybe due to less testosterone?

As usual, I'm rambling. I do think body shape, bone structure, and facial shape/features INFLUENCE style to the extent a person pays attention to them and fit and flattery; not everyone does. However, I don't think they should necessary dictate style as there's room around the margins to make almost anything work to a degree. Working with instead of working against type IMHO results in greater harmony, though.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I can't help but think about this blogger, who often pulls off edgy looks with panache, but I noted her waistline is typically in the same spot - her natural waist - since she is an hourglass. So I think DonnaF that what you say about working the margins is very true.

http://www.gabifresh.com/

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I'm an hourglass and should be emphasizing my waist. Yet my belts are collecting dust literally. I don't have anything in the fit and flare category. But my secondary body type is an apple. I don't have a flat stomach. So I dress to de-emphasize my stomach. So yes I guess I dress a bit to my body type. But lately I've been drawn to stuff that is NOT figure flattering. My harem jeans, oversized cream cabled sweater.
I'm going to have to stew on this some more. My thoughts are a bit incoherant at the moment.
The outfit is stellar by the way.

catgirl

Veteran

This outfit is beyond amazing on you! The color, the fit, the style - just speechless.

Elizabeth's post is what I would have said if my brain were working better right now.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, it's sort of the chicken/egg circular reference question. No time for bed here in western north America!

Anonymous

I found myself nodding to everything Janet said. I'm all curves, no matter what size or weight I am. It is frustrating at times, because the more tailored looks are not as "fashion forward" but figure flattery is most important to me.

I think the outfit you posted is brilliant! Those tights are so much fun..

Preppy Pear

Veteran

You look so chic! I think your outfit here is a great marriage between embracing your personal style as you described it and dressing for figure flattery.

I'm a pear shape, and when I'm on the slimmer side, I'm more of an hourglass because I have broad shoulders. Like Anna, I should be playing up my waist, but I've completely flipped my silhouette over this fall. Until recently, I used to wear mainly a-line skirts and dresses, and bootcut jeans with fitted tops. Now I almost am exclusively wearing boxier tops and jackets, surrendering the waist, wearing skinny jeans. I feel more like me in this silhouette, even though it might not be my most figure flattering. I'm also really attracted to menswear looks, and my tall height and broad shoulders help there, but men generally don't have my hips and thighs! I make some figure flattering concessions - dark bottoms, not breaking up the leg line, etc., but I'm breaking lots of the classic rules for pears (not necessarily Angie's guidelines, which are less strict).

I guess I feel most confident when I can play with my proportions. I'm also finding that dressing subtly for figure flattery is more effective for my look and my confidence than just wearing all of the things I'm supposed to wear.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Skitt makes a good point, and it applies to many fashion bloggers as well as models. I get sucked in to certain appealing looks, and some part of me thinks they'll look awesome on me, even though I'm probably 20 years older and 20 lbs heavier than the girl wearing it. I get excited when I'm in a store and find a pair of fab pants or a slouchy sweater that looks amazing on a size 2 girl, only to be confronted with the sad reality of that same garment on a (heavy sigh) middle-aged woman 2-3 sizes larger. It's not hard to see why we are drawn to "uniforms" once we find something that looks good on our bodies, even though it's not fashion-forward, and risk falling into a rut.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Janet, I know what you mean! Preppy Pear, I often break the rules of what would look strictly the most flattering on me. I guess, like Janet, there are just some items that *fit* particularly terrible, and of course don't look goo either. So for me, it's about fit. An a-line dress with a high neckline for example - the high neckline I can get away with (wear a necklace, for example) but the fact that it's most likely going to require me to size up 2-3 sizes to get it to fit over my hips (and then basically need to be re-cut on top) makes it completely not worth the effort.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

High five, fellow INFJ!!

We are way in the minority. Sensitive souls that we are.

You look absolutely beautiful in your WIW. The colour and fit of that jacket are just lovely on you.

But I hear you on the body dysmorphia and the disconnect between what you would like to look good in and wear and what actually works. This is always more acute when our bodies are undergoing some change (weight loss or gain, surgery, injury, pregnancy). I think most of us start out already a bit confused because the clothes are always shown on towering, skinny models. Add in body changes and no wonder we flounder a bit to find what works. And there's often sadness in the recognition that some of the looks we love most will never be figure flattering to us.

I do think my style is influenced by my body shape and size. I'm not really attracted to sexy, bombshell looks (quite the reverse) which is a good thing, since I could never carry them off. At the same time, I would love to wear some of the more voluminous and unstructured avant guard shapes....and I just can't. They swamp me. In the past, I was more of a pear, so like you I could not wear pleated trousers easily (imagine the struggle this presented in the 80s!). Jeans were such a nightmare to fit back in the days of no stretch that in my early 20s I just Gave. Up. I wore skirts almost exclusively for an entire decade, and ended up looking matronly and far more ladylike that I felt inside; it was a serious disconnect and very frustrating.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Love this outfit on you Jenava! The colours and fit are beautiful.

As for body shape and style - I'm an apple that is on the heavier side and I think that's why I gravitate towards a more retro style. Women were more curvy and not as waif-like in previous years and I find that sort of style plays up my body type in a more flattering way.

Anonymous

My body shape and stature, my personal coloring, my hairstyle and hair texture, and my lifestyle all influence the way I dress. In addition, foot and ankle issues influence my shoe choices.

cciele

Veteran

First off, I had no inkling of the weight gain, Jenava--you always look so well put together, and this outfit is no exception. But I do sympathize with you, as I try to keep up with my changing body shape (due to muscle and weight gain).

I've never thought of my style in relation to my body. I suppose if I did, I'd be dressing bombshell or retro, given my curves. But I've been gravitating toward an avant garde minimalism with rocker sensibilities, if that makes sense -- something I think that is more associated with tall thin bodies. I don't really have problems finding items that fit in my style paradigm and working with those

JR

Veteran

Body shape is one of the givens that form our personal style, at least for me. I would have loved to be tall and willowy, as I very much like classical elegance. But I'm not. And never will be, no matter what my weight or physical condition. I still like a certain aesthetic, but there are elements of it I do not try to play with, because they would look absurd on me, just as I avoid certain colours for the same reason, no matter how much I like them.

And my style has evolved in part because of the limitations imposed on me by my body. As I've mentioned before, my very difficult feet had me in lace-up hiking-style boots, and nothing else, for many winters. So I embraced the slightly RATE, quirky look and extended it to the rest of the outfit. I would add a men's wool driving cap, a dark wool overcoat, and dangly earrings. If I had to play with androgynous elements, I figured I might as well play whole-heartedly.

It goes further though, I think. The configuration of our personalities also determines what styles we can wear successfully. There are plenty of styles out there, and represented on this forum, that I very much like to look at on someone else, but that I would never attempt myself. There just isn't an urban warrior princess in my soul, or a rodeo star, or a fashionista, or a rocker queen. What might be wonderful on someone else would be a costume on me.

shiny

Veteran

First, you look *gorgeous.*

But I relate to everything said in this thread. Oh, boy. Do I!

I often think that I'd dress totally differently if I was taller. I may be wrong about that, but I suspect I'm not. I have a penchant for high-quality fabrics. I cruise the designer section of Nordie's and even if I could *afford* such luxury.... it just Does. Not. Fit. Yeah yeah... get it altered.. Nope. We are talking complete reconstruction of the garment. I am that short. I have been told by several tailors: "not worth it."

So that narrows my shopping options down dramatically. And no, it's not as simple as shopping in the teen stores, because I'm short --- but not slim like a teenager.

Plus then there's the whole reality of facial features, not just body shape. I may love teen fashions on other women of my age; on me? I think I look ridiculous. Maybe that's my own mental block, but I've spent decades trying to not get carded, or mistaken for the babysitter, or (only recently) mistaken for my kids' younger sister.

So it is what it is. Work with what you have. Make the most of it.

And in my next life I'm coming back as .. someone 6 feet tall. I would like to be at least 5'9, and I could deal with my same exact shape, and all its frustrations.

Incidentally I'm an ENFP: we're uber-expressive and extroverted. So my frustration is even greater *sob*... (just kidding)

sarabcook

(website)

First off you look great and I think this is such a good topic to talk about. I'm not sure if I dress style wise for my shape but I totally avoid ones. I have a hard time doing gamine, menswear, or 60's because of my short hourglass shape, but I also avoid 50's and bombshell even though my body is suited for it. I think that is part of the issue though. Since my hourglass shape is suited for bombshell looks I sometimes go there unintentionally so if I'm trying to achieve that I'm afraid it would be over the top.

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