Wishing I had more time (and energy) for YLF - YouLookFab Forum

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Wishing I had more time (and energy) for YLF

nancylee

Veteran

Just a quick note to express my regret that I haven't been able to comment on everyone's posts lately. Since my husband came home from the hospital two weeks ago I've been pretty busy helping him (he still can't drive and needs help with showering, dressing, getting to rehab, etc.) and I'm often too tired to do much more than browse through everyone's posts. He will get better (sloooowly) over time, but right now I'm a little worn out from trying to do everything for him...and also teach my classes, write, etc. etc.

Please know that I'm checking in and wishing you all the best even if I don't comment.

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from nancylee

Travelgal Nicole

Veteran

Glad to hear your husband is home and doing better. It really does take a lot out of a person caring for someone and its difficult when they don't have their independence. Hope he gets better soon.

kellygirl

Veteran

Don't worry about commenting--just drop in when you have time. I used to feel guilty about my lapses in participation but we all have busy lives. I'm glad to hear that DH is back at home. Take care of yourself!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Caregiving is a full time job in itself, Nancy! Please know that we miss you and do not expect you to post now. Just do what you need to do and enjoy reading as you can!

Louise

Veteran

Glad to hear hubby's on the mend. No need to feel guilty we'll be here when you have more time x

Anonymous

Take good care of both of you, Nancylee!

Jjsloane

Veteran

Hugs to you, what a difficult thing to go through. You will be stronger for it, but it's not gonna be much fun. I hope you have some help around and a few opportunities for a mini escape to recharge yourself. Reading here can be therapy at times.

MNsara

Veteran

Oh, Nancy - I'm sending all sorts of good thoughts and virtual hugs your way I have been there (my DH broke his back in a horrible accident and the next year was hellish for ME!! I know it was hellish for him too, but he was so medicated that he doesn't remember the first 6 grueling months). Just know that each week or each month will be a little better than before.

Also, be good to yourself, so you have it in you to be good to him. Don't try to be heroic (meaning if there are family around who can help, get them involved -- I should have).

YLF is here to be enjoyed and to give you a reprieve from the reality you're facing. Don't let it turn into another demand on you. Just reading and soaking it all up should be your little treat each day

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Thank you for checking in with us Nancylee. I'm glad your husband is home and making progress, albeit slow. You certainly have your hands full - please remember to take care of yourself as well! Sending hugs!

HelenInCanada

Veteran

No need to feel any guilt, nancylee. When you're here, you contribute so much - so of course you can be forgiven for taking care of DH! Catch up on posts when you can! All the best.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Take care of yourself and your husband, Nancylee! We'll still be here when you get some breathing room. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Here's hoping you just read and enjoy at your leisure - without worrying about keeping up or replying. You are going through a whole lot, and have already been through a lot. Have to say I agree that caretaking requires a lot more energy and effort than most people realize until they get into a situation like that.

So glad your husband is back at home with you, and I'm sure that things will keep getting better from here on out.

In the meantime, I think that all future 'featured snacks' on Angie's formula posts from now until the end of the year should be automatically Fed-Exed to your place. I say this because last year, when my Mom got sick and I was taking care of her - I was run off my feet, rushing from appt. to appt., taking care of her and so on - and by the time I thought to cook or eat something, I was totally beat. Some cupcakes, chocolate, fancy nuts and so on would have really come in handy! Just being silly, but wanted to say that I do know a little bit about what it's like to look after someone you love and care about so much after a frightening health scare.

Hang in there, and just read and enjoy when you feel like a little bit of downtime.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Nancy, glad as I am of your update and happy to hear you're holding up, even managing to take time for yourself between everything you need to do on the professional as well as personal front, PLEASE don't feel a shred of guilt about being unable to 'contribute'.

Your contribution of hundreds of days does NOT get wiped out and forgotten just because you aren't topping it up each day! As MNSara said "YLF is here to be enjoyed and to give you a reprieve from the reality you're facing." NOT to become another *demand* on your time and energy. I do get that you wish you had more time and energy to play here yourself --- and I'm sure we all do too! --- but as long as it's a wishful musing, that's okay. Please don't let it be a regret.

Sending both of you my best healing and coping wishes. Wishing you in particular strength and serenity as well.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Don't worry about us, Nancy. Take care of your husband and of yourself and we will be here for you when you need us!

christieanne

Veteran

I agree with everything already posted but also want to add my best wishes for your husband and you as you go through the recovery phase. When my DH was pretty sick (and we had a little guy in pre school) with a kidney problem, it was the recovery time at home that made us impatient with each other ( I think we were tired!) so please just take care and no worries about anything but your family and self.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Nancylee, best wishes for your husband's speedy recovery. You both have been through the wringer and I hope he gets back to normal fast. Being a caregiver takes a lot out of a person so it's no wonder you're exhausted. Don't worry about posting--I know you feel guilty, but you shouldn't--YLF is supposed to be fun, not a chore. We all get busy (I'm in a busy phase too from work and haven't been posting/responding as much either). Remember to take care of yourself and do something nice for yourself once in a while to recharge.

catgirl

Veteran

Goodness, Nancy - we miss you too. I'm about to be in the same plight with helping my friend and her sick husband. YLF is stress relief for me! I hope your husband continues to improve... being a caregiver is exhausting. Make sure someone is taking care of YOU. Seriously - I tell my clients that all the time.

nancylee

Veteran

Thanks ladies. You are all so kind and supportive. And you'll be happy to know that I took care of myself this afternoon by buying a new pair of sandals and getting a fabulous massage. It felt so good to have someone take care of me for a change!