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Wise Words about Being our Best Selves

Emily K

(website)

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Wise words from one of my favorite bloggers about being our best selves: https://meljoulwan.com/2017/12/31/version-2018/

"My underlying motivation for all of it—the weight loss, the physical challenges, the healthy eating—has always been that I wanted to be the best version of myself. Happy, healthy, fit, strong, attractive. But that pure motivation was poorly translated into external measures that separated what I wanted from what I did...The clean eating and training, meditation and lifting, the sound sleeping are the reward. They are the thing."

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14 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I don't quite understand the quote, but want to. What does this part mean, Emily?

"But that pure motivation was poorly translated into external measures that separated what I wanted from what I did..."

To try to be the best version of yourself is an excellent goal, and I'm including what you're like as a person too. Love that part of the quote, and thanks for sharing.

Being happy is a very important goal. I see friends trying to be what they perceive as the best versions of themselves, but they aren't happy because their efforts negatively affect their own lifestyles and the lifestyles of others.

FWIW, I'm going to humbly add the clichés of what I've learned in life: everything in moderation, and you can't have it all. Prioritize what is most important. Try to create a peaceful balance and be satisfied with what you have and have achieved. Namaste.

Gaylene

Veteran

“I see friends trying to be what they perceive as the best versions of themselves, but they aren't happy because their efforts negatively affect their own lifestyles and the lifestyles of others”

Amen, Angie! Self improvement can be a worthy goal, but not when its pursuit results a person’s energy and interests being mainly directed at his/her own well being. The real kicker, of course, is the greater the motivation and dedication, the more likely it is the person will never be satisfied with the results.

Maybe the motto should be “To be the best I can be—within limits”.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Hi Angie, Mel captured the sentiment so well in the fullness of her blog post that I hesitated to paraphrase Basically, she realized that the number on the scale is not the "goal" (that's the "poorly translated external measure"). She appreciates, daily, the process of living with healthy habits and self improvement as the true goal.

Anonymous

This is interesting Emily ; thank you for sharing . I'm not familiar with this blog, and am browsing it right now . My favourite quote of late goes something like this: your life is not just about you. Regarding her weight loss goal - she is bang-on about the process being the real goal, and your /her/our real life.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

lisa p--I have enjoyed so many of Mel's recipes (for free, from the blog) that I felt obligated to buy her cookbooks. I was not disappointed. I got several "keeper" recipes from each and I usually count a cookbook purchase as a success if I get even one keeper. I also read her blog when I feel I need inspiration to "grab life by the tail" and go for it. She seems to live life with a lot of gusto.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Beautiful sentiment!
My mother and I have had a back and forth over the years about this. I enjoy process very much—feeling the earth in my hands and thinking about the plants I’m encouraging when I weed a garden or enjoying the feeling of my body as I exercise. She is much more results oriented—the purpose of weeding is a neat garden, exercise is for a better body, etc. I see that those things can be the outcome, and that can add additional reward, but rather than pushing and cramping and forcing ourselves onward to gratification in the future, I want to enjoy the steps i am taking as things in their own right. The quote takes this a bit further and points towards the damage we can do when we only focus on the effort, and making ourselves do it (whatever “it” is). That is an important side of it.

rachylou

Veteran

I think that is motivating, if I understand correctly... taking the point of view, for example, that exercise is the reward, that the work is the reward. Puts everything in a whole new light.

Runcarla

Veteran

...'the work is the reward...maybe that is why gardening is so satisfying - there is lots of work and it is never done! The same can be said of curating a wardrobe and that is why this fashion stuff is so much fun.

Really, it is about living in the moment and squeezing the juice out of every day.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I came back to edit and improve my earlier response and see that Rachylou and Runcarla have already improved upon it. I’ll leave it as is and just add one more example, responding to Angie’s question with a question:

Do you like yoga? I think the difference the author is drawing is between you enjoying your yoga and someone who does it because their partner or doctor or insurance company or someone, even something they read or the voice in their own head, says they should do it for certain gains, even though they can’t stand it. The only benefit that person receives is the measurable improvement at the end, whereas you get something from it all the way through.

Runcarla, good point about fashion. I’ll have to see if I can find a way to enjoy it.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Rachylou--yes!!! That's what I thought. Almost like failing to see the forest for the trees--I hope this helps me to focus on what is really important.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Aha, Emily and Rachy. Got it. Thanks for the explanation. That makes sense.

Gaylene, I nodded along with every word of your reply.

Fashintern, I LOVE yoga. I look forward to my practices, and feel fabulous both emotionally and physically afterwards. Both the process and the result are the reward.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carla, that's a great mantra for your retirement.

"Process and result are the reward." I like that, Angie. That is how I feel about all of the pursuits that I commit myself to most thoroughly and honestly in my life, or almost all -- because you can't control the result so sometimes have to be happy with the process alone. But if you do feel happy with the process alone, that is reward enough.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Angie, I do too <3 I genuinely feel sorry for those who don't find the practice itself rewarding.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

A yoga high five to you, Fashintern.

Suz, thanks for the shout out. YES to your wisdom.