Interesting responses.

Hmm, FI, I'm trying to think of reasons for "pushing" that aren't driven by external factors (climate, jobs, kids, body, budget, availability) and most of the examples I can think of have to do with cultivating a sense of belonging or not-belonging. A person who is questioning their gender identity/presentation may make a 180-degree turn in their personal style, or undergo a more gradual shift. Teens trying to decide who they want to be in relation to peer groups may go through big, abrupt changes in how they dress. Joining or leaving a religious group often has a profound impact on how one dresses. I think all of these go back to Sterling's original comment about realizing that your wardrobe no longer conveys the information about you that you want it to.

FI - my comments were directed to the forum at large and to Sterling as it is her thread . I’m quite confused and have no idea what you’re talking about .

Lisa, recall that when you told me to leave you and your friends alone, I agreed with the exceptions that if you entered into a conversation I was already in or one that referenced me, then of course I would respond to your ideas just the same as everyone else’s. I was very aware of that as I wrote my reply to you here. As a matter of fact, I was surprised to see you post in a thread that begins with a riff on a question I asked, as you knew I’d be involved.

I was thinking of starting a thread with that other question—“does style change ‘just happen’” or maybe “through what processes has your style changed; have you ever pushed a change?” That might help people separate the two different questions that you and I are asking. Shall I do it, or do you want to?

Lisa—you don’t know what I’m talking about? You and I have different questions.
Yours is “why does personal style evolve?”
Mine is “why would you push your style to evolve, instead of letting it grow on its own?”

I "push" myself in many ares of my life; lifting heavier weights at the gym, taking on a challenging project at work, learning a new language just because. I take the same approach to fashion. I will "push" myself outside my comfort zone to try a new trend, haircut, or makeup trick because that is how I grow and develop as a person. Sometimes it is a total style fail but I find it fun and fresh. My latest style push is letting my hair go grey. It has definitely been a push at times as I don't always love the way it looks but I am dedicated to seeing the process through so that if ultimately I decide to stay with my natural color or return to coloring it, I am doing so with full knowledge of my choice.

Molly Mac, interesting! I do indeed push myself in all those areas, and enjoy doing so. Now you’ve got me turning my question back on myself: why do I think style change shouldn’t be a thing to push for?

Part of my answer I just wrote on Angie’s blog, is that I see it as analogous to other processes in life that I watch closely, confident that change will happen, without forcing that change.

I’m working now on being able to do a muscle up. First I have to be able to do dips & pullups. To be able to do those, I’m doing partials and static holds. As long as I am faithful with these smaller parts, the bigger one will come, so I don’t think so much about it (well, other than my mother & BiL’s faces when they see it, lol).

In terms of style, I guess I’m seeing the daily “how can I make this work for me” as being like those partial dips on the couch; eventually they will add up to a style change, basically on their own.

So how do I see this as a natural, not forced evolution, if I’m making choices and working on small steps along the way? I’m not pushing for shifts I’m not comfortable with, or even a certain direction. I’m just taking one little step at a time, and they will add up to whatever they add up to, without me orchestrating or thinking about the overall too terribly hard. A change that’s forced would be more like deciding I want to be like, idk, Christine leGard, and buying scarves, learning to swoop them, and becoming comfortable with them as part of that top-down project.

Like Molly Mac alluded to, I don’t see why a little “push” is a bad thing. I push myself out of my comfort zone in my creative efforts, in my physical endeavors, in the scope of my professional life, and even in my relationships. I don’t see anything wrong with a push, defined that way. It is a drive that comes from within.

ETA: That was in response to this: "Janet, yes, we keep evolving. So why push ourselves? We are going to change regardless—and I don’t mean entropy. We can certainly change in good ways without pressuring ourselves."

I thinks sometimes it's GOOD to pressure ourselves if it is for a productive, constructive reason. If I waited to flow into every personal change in my life, I would have missed out on some of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had. I have had to learn to push myself, and for that I am glad!

Admittedly, I don't "push" a whole lot in the realm of style, but I do like to nudge the comfort zone to keep up with what looks current, meet the changing needs of my body and life, and reflect what is appropriate for my changing age and station in life.

Fashintern...I'm confused! I thought it was you who used the word "push" originally, not Angie? Unless I mis-read or read too quickly.

Anyway, I heard her (in the blog) talk about evolving her style, in a relaxed and intuitive way. She looks for something different to prevent boredom and to set her direction for the season ahead.

To me, that process sounds more like what Janet talks about -- an internal drive. Not a push. That's why I quibbled about that word. For me, at least, there is no feeling of push.

Here we go again with semantics! Definitions of the word range from 'exerting force' to 'move forward'. It's all a matter of vigour!

Well, I prefer to 'be the change' (with apologies to M. Gandhi) because the only things that will 'just happen' to my style is that my clothes will get older and more worn out or I wil be wearing t-shirts with kittens and sequins sent by mother!

I think my style mostly evolves due to some factors like boredom, seeing new appealing style ideas and such. But I do understand what it means to “push you style”. For me it means to pay attention to areas that I overlook. I’m a casual person and I tend to dress casually, my first question when trying a new top/coat/jacket - can I wear it with jeans? Yet, I recognize that I need to have a number of updated classic, dressy items in my wardrobe to be prepared for any occasion. I have to remind myself to keep my wardrobe balanced and to be on lookout for classic items. Because it doesn’t come naturally to me, I feel like I have to push myself. Results are mixed. I wore classic coats, one black and one in camel with everything and absolutely loved it. I wore a navy pant suit only for interviews and got rid of it after less than two years.

Runcarla, Thanks for the definitions. Which one we imagine when we hear or read the word makes a big difference. I just realized that when I hear the word push, I imagine being pushed (against my desire), not choosing to move forward. Or uncomfortably pushing myself. Lots for me to think about.

With clothing, I think there is the idea to try new things but not lose myself in the process. I own a hard to describe bottom, sort of a flowy pair of cropped pants with extra material that wraps around to the front on both sides. I only tried this on after repeatedly (for a year or two) seeing skirted leggings and other non-traditional bottoms here. It is certainly something I would not have owned previously. On the other hand, I have a pretty good idea of what looks good on me. In spite of that, I hopefully tried on a lot of not my usual style clothing in a new to me store recently, but purchased nothing, as the clothing was not as flattering as what I normally wear.

I think I pushed myself when I came out of my way too long mommy dressing coma. It was not necessarily natural at the time, but I changed what I wore and added jewelry, etc. On the other hand, no matter how in fashionable ankle pants are, and as much as I like the look of them in winter, and the winters here are not that cold, I could not adjust to having cold air entering my pants leg.

Because staying in my comfort zone makes me miss out on wonderful things. I take new silhouettes into the dressing room for the same reasons I try new restaurants, explore new neighborhoods, talk to new people, and read different genres. Those things are all uncomfortable for me, but my life is richer for having done them. It doesn’t always work out, but trying can surprise you.

(Going back and reading some responses now, I’m on board with what Janet says. A little discomfort can yield great rewards.)

I'm not sure I was asking any question at all ? And no, I'm not going to start another thread on this subject - Sterling is handling this all just fine.....I'm just here for the popcorn. Me and my friends.

“A little discomfort can yield great rewards.” Well said, Jenn!

For me, it's less about wanting to evolve than getting that wonderful endorphin rush that comes with acquiring something new, whether it's new-new, or new-to-me. I confess, I'm addicted to fashion, and have been my whole life. Quitting the fashion hunt? Unthinkable! Somehow this process, along with honing my shopping skills on YLF, has resulted in a better version of me. Is that evolution or just improvement? (No pushing was involved in my case, just lots of research and shopping; but that was fun for me.). There's that word again: FUN!

Sterling - I loved what you wrote about your evolving style and why you do it.

I have skimmed through others responses and mostly relate to Xtabay here - I love thinking about fashion and style, I like something new or the thrill of a new outfit (just yesterday I wore a look I loved that made me feel happy)....

Also I am 49.... I want to wear what I love now and not what I loved ten or twenty year ago. At 29 I was living in Melbourne, no children working in a corporate office job. At 39 I had a preschool son and was working and studying with very little time to shop...... At 49 I am self employed and with teenage sons.

It is the push by myself (currently to wear a bit less black which is comfortable and easy and practical) and the pull by current trends, styles that I love...

I've always thought we were kindred fashion spirits, Sal! :).

Great and thoughtful articulation on this topic, Sterling.

I love the creativity of fashion, and the challenge of making sure I'm projecting the image I wish to project. It's not a push, but a constant and enjoyable process.

And I'm at a loss to understand why Fashintern picks at the other Lisa (LisaP)

I wouldn't say push is the right word for me either, as far as style. It's different to me than wanting to run farther, or climb the climbing wall or such. That's more of a testing of my body to see what it's capable of.
Style shifts are more organic to me. I don't need outside or my own feeling of force to try new things. Happy little magpie goes into a shop...

great read....
interesting...i don't see pushing as a negative, i see it more as Runclara defined it..."be the change"....
i also think the some people are just "pushers" and some people are just "take it as it comes"...i think its a natural part of our personalaities...

You and me both, Lisa. It's very tiresome and thank you for calling it out here.

Ya know...”push” is exactly the active verb that I need to employ to keep my style current. My comfort zone is so well trodden that getting me out of this rut takes a lot of kinetic energy. A BIG OLE PUSH.

Runcarla "be the change..", so nice!

So in terms of fashion/style, are we talking about intentional evolution? vs. laissez-faire change? (I do think push is necessary when it comes to anti-oppression/anti-racism work, however.)

For me, I need intention or at the very least paying attention. Pre-YLF, I had NO CLUE. I think I wore a lot of black pants and black shoes. I just wanted to blend in and be inconspicuous as I was an older mom and didn't want to embarrass my daughter. And before that in the '80s, I was all about Dress for Success. Somewhere along the line I got the message that you had to make the choice to either be smart or look good and that they were incompatible. Sigh.

Trends? I want to know so that I can buy the ones I like while they are available. (Says the one who still has her straight leg Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and mid-rise bootcuts from who knows when.) I don't want to be the deer in the headlights. But thanks to YLF, I have kick flares which work very well on my calves in start contrast the narrower crops which get caught. But I at least tried them.

I am doing better at buying for my real life and my real climate so that is a type of evolution but not really a style evolution. And I don't know anyone around me who dresses as I do. But I don't care.

This is a fabulous topic! For me, style evolution goes hand in hand with personal growth. My style has chnaged as my life and values have changed, as I am entering the latter part of my fifties. I've found myself moving away from more tailored business wear to a more relaxed, feminine and creative look, always with a little something FUN or unexpected thrown in for good measure. I try to spend some time each season examining whether my style is still relevant to my life and personality. The way I express my self and how I want to be perceived by others is key. I am doing other endeavors in my life that push me out of my comfort zone. It is also essential that I not fall into a style comfort zone, i.e, a rut.

Super interesting!

Suz- thanks so much for clarifying. I re-read Angie’s blog post three times, and did not find the word “push” anywhere in her post. I did find “relax” and “evolve.” I’m glad I’m not alone.

And Runcarla, you made me smile with “I will be wearing t-shirts with kittens and sequins sent by mother!” Brings back wonderful memories of shopping with my mom- which left me with a wardrobe suitable for someone at a different stage of life, in a completely different climate, for different activities.

As for actually pushing myself, I see that as positive for my wardrobe. But, I don’t have negative connotations for the word in this case- this is pushing myself to be my best, not pushing off a cliff. For me, it’s the gentle nudges from a friend, SA, or now YLF, that give me confidence to try something new. My favorite example being one of the ever-popular long, linen blend Halogen cardigans, over slim-fitting ankle jeans, for a long over lean silhouette. I would never have tried it, if not for a fabulous SA. She put the outfit in my dressing room five years ago, and both pieces are still going strong, and I love the silhouette.

I am with Molly Mac. If I don't give myself some challenges I will stagnate. Smaller and larger. But that is a matter of personality, some people may naturally step things up, for me it starts with a conscious decision. Specifically with fashion, it is a wonderful hobby and creative outlet for me and my tastes, self-perception, mood, and external circumstances all go into the mix. For others, clothing is less fun and more functional and an occasional push may be a good thing. I don't think those are the people of this forum particularly though.

Isabel helped me understand why I always forget to factor in the fun component. Isabel wrote:

I’m sure there’ve been posts as good before but for me, this is gold. Years of clothes buying that was completely emotional were followed by years that were by necessity, practical only. Now that I have more freedom, I’ve been finding it hard to reintroduce lightheartedness in my wardrobe. I remember it kind of like driving with no brakes which can go bad fast haha.

I want to reintroduce lightheartedness (and fun) into my wardrobe. I am at a loss as to how to go about doing just that. I view my wardrobe from a practical, severely analytical position. In order to (re)introduce lightheartedness (and fun), I need to change my mindset.

Changing my mindset will absolutely not come naturally to me. I know this to be fact. I will need to make a conscious effort to make these changes happen.

The rest of 2019 will be all about being less serious and introducing a fun component into my wardrobe. Thank you, Isabel, for helping me identify a huge deficient.

You mean this whole thing is based on me misreading? I absolutely wrote the original comment on the blog in response to what (I thought) I read, and went back to see the original “push” when I first commented here. But it sure as hell isn't there now. **shrug**

I have enough going on that I don’t need to inject change. The world around me is changing, as is my interaction with it. I may need to push myself to fit my style to external factors, like a job situation, but that’s about it.

And I’m done here.