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Why I hate gown shopping: a story in pictures

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

So the formal gown hunt continues, and I'm feeling more than a little discouraged about it all. Did you know that 99% of gowns are not designed with the large of bust in mind? And also that plus-sized women apparently never get invited anywhere fancy and therefore don't need much selection?

There are shockingly few stores in Toronto that actually carry formalwear in my size range, and I have now been to nearly all of them. Below are some of the specimens I have tried on, none of which make me feel truly fab. I'll keep the commentary to myself and let you sound off uninhibited.

If you think I'm really missing the boat on something and out to revisit one of the options, I'll certainly do so...but yeah, this is what I'm up against. Please bear in mind, too, that these are the ones that actually zipped up etc - there were others I tried that didn't even make it out of the starting ggate, so to speak.

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48 replies

Latest reply was from Carole

bj1111

Veteran

i love you in royal blue. i like the one with the floaty layers and pleating around the neckline, but the shiny band across the breast is a bit off--maybe it's the photo/angle. i also like the v-neck and find the glittery bits on the bodice very subtle but festive/dressy. the v-neck also covers the bra and some tricky underarm bits.

Diana

Veteran

I think the second one is quite nice actually - the blue one with the floaty layers that bj1111 also likes, although I agree with her that the sparkly band is a little bit odd. The shape is really nice on you and it really emphasizes your lovely waist. Cobalt blue is definitely your color!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I second bj with the royal blue colour. It's gorgeous with your complexion Michelle. I actually really like the dress in photo #3. It fits you beautifully, the v-neck shape and wider straps are very flattering yet provide some modesty. I love the sparkles to pick up the light and the gathered waist is lovely on you. BUT...if you're not feeling it, that's what matters. FWIW I hate that this is such a frustrating experience for you. Stores and designers of all kind really need to step up to the plate and realize we are all shapes and sizes and we ALL want to look our best!

Velma

Veteran

I love either of the royal blue ones! The cumberbund waist on #2 is beautiful and flattering, but I like the neckline styling on #3 a bit better. The sapphire color, in any case, is so dramatic on you and highlights your lovely complexion.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, guys.
I should add that dress no. 2 is a truly bizarre style. Underneath that sparkly band at the top, there's a huge open v that exposes the entire bra. I stuffed the matching shall into the gap so that the pics would be family friendly.
For clarity, which of the two blue dresses are people liking, no. 2 or 3?
I liked a lot about no. 3 except for the weird fluttery ruffle thing on the left side.

Diana

Veteran

Michelle, I liked #2, but if the neckline is so weird and open, then maybe you need to keep looking! I think the cummerbund-like waist is really flattering though. #3 does not flatter your waist as well, although the neckline is nice.

Scarlet

Veteran

I like the color and style of one, but the material seems too thin to lie smoothly over the body, perhaps. Could undergarments help here? My favorite is number four. It's classic and elegant. You would have to judge in person if the material is nice. The second one fits beautifully and flatters. I am just not crazy about the random crystal band across the bodice.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I love #3 - fluttery ruffle and all!

Kate

Veteran

Michelle, I agree with the other ladies that cobalt blue is definitely your color.

The bodice of the first dress I find extremely flattering on you. It makes the most of your beautiful chest and shoulders and the beading hits right at the smallest part of your body. Lovely.

How would you feel about having a seamstress make a dress made for you? That way you could get the exact fit you needed and the fabric and color(s) you wanted. I think that first dress, if the fabric floated out from beneath the beaded waist band rather than falling in a column as it does, might be just the ticket.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like them all actually

I like #4 best though. GORGEOUS! You might need a pair of knickers with a higher waistband though.

Michelle, you have done really well! Applause! Most evening wear needs a nip and a tuck. Heaven knows all mine did. And my clients have their evening wear altered to fit all the time. If you bear that in mind, you'll be a happier camper

Which feels best so far?

Anonymous

My favorite is #2! That color of blue is gorgeous on you and I think the cut is very flattering. I agree that the neckline is a bit odd, but maybe the dress could be worth altering?

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Kate: I asked my seamstress, and unfortunately she doesn't have time to make me a dress on time for April. Too bad- I know *exactly* what I want. :p
Scarlet: the fabric of number 4 is actually really fabulous - a nice substantial satin. I'm just concerned by the lack of waist definition.
I actually really love the style of number 1, but Corey doesn't think the colour is good on me. The dress *is* available in black, but I'm concerned that it's jersey and lacks texture:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js.....us/3180689?

Kate

Veteran

Hmm, with you Snow White coloring, you would look beautiful in the black version of #1. Perhaps your seamstress would have time to make a cobalt evening wrap to to toss on top for a bit of color. If not, it's often possible to find large silk or silk chiffon scarves, some with beading, that are large enough to wear as shawls. I know I have done that in the past to give a pop of color to an evening gown.

Velma

Veteran

Okay, I see the problem with the neck of #2 now--sheesh! Dumb design.

In that case, I vote for #3--just love that cobalt color on you--or #4 as a second choice. Get alterations around the neckline or armhole areas, if necessary. Wear a beautiful necklace and a wrap, if you like, and you're done! You will be a total bombshell, and I think you can feel good about your shopping success.

EmilyC15

Am I the only one here who thinks the orange is a winner on you? It's definitely got the most cleavage, but I think it's tasteful and innovative, and I love the hang of the skirt and the waist definition.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

The only one I don't like is #2. Higher cut spanx or other girding type underwear and different bra would make the others work. Every time I buy a new formal dress I have to buy the right (often pricey) undergarments to go with it. I keep thinking that eventually I will have a stockpile of different types of bras, panties, girdles, and slips that will work for any style dress but I am not there yet.

#3 is my favorite followed by #4. What was your favorite and why? What you call a weird "fluff" ruffle in #3 is actually very slimming. The rouching across the front pulls in your waist and then the vertical draping on the left gives you a long line. I am an apple and this is a flattering style for me - I am wearing a casual work dress today that has the same design feature in it.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I really like #4 on you too! There seems to be a sharper/straighter/more vertical "v" in the this neckline (compared to the others), which does create definition. It's not lower cut or anything, it's just that the "v" in #4 is more vertical, and the others have a wider-looking, more open neckline. Very interesting to realize that a narrower 'v' might be better than a wider one.

As Angie said, if you were to go with #4, all you'd really need is some higher-waist underthings, and for the most part - it really looks like you'd have no trouble with a bra in this one either, as the straps are wide enough and there are lots of bras that have a deeper 'v' between the cups - no need for a specialty bra in this dress, which can be a royal pain.

Despite what you think - I think you've found 'the' dress.

I'd suggest buying #4 - hang it up, keep tags on...and you can relax. If you come across others, then fine - try them out, but #4 is pretty fabulous if you ask me. It's very elegant and glamourous-looking and a lot more flattering than you think. You look beautiful in it.

What do you think Michelle?

Anonymous

I like 3 and 4 best. The ruffle looks like it makes a vertical line and the top gives good coverage (#3). The colors of both dresses are so pretty on you.

Debbie

Veteran

I love 3 and 4 is my second choice. Now to see what everyone else said.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I like number 1 in principle but I think you need a larger size or a body shaper to wear under it, and the cleavage might make you feel uncomfortable. Number 4 is the winner in my view, though. I think the overall shape is very elegant and the color is great.

missvee

Veteran

I think the choice is between #3 and #4. While I love the cobalt colour on you, there is a quiet elegance about #4 that makes me think it will be the better pick. As some of the others have suggested, if you want a bit more colour, you could add a stole or clutch in cobalt or fuschia.

Meredith1953

Veteran

I like #4 best. The darker blue is divine and the cut seems to work so much better. I love all the other colors but am not crazy about the cut of the others.

DonnaF

Veteran

I love the cobalt/royal blue of #2 and #3 on you, with the style of #3 getting my vote as more interesting than say #4. I don't think the salmon/coral color of #1 flatters your coloring as much. The color of #4 on my monitor reads as a neutral on you; you can wear that color but it does not impart life and energize you. Somehow it ages you without necessarily looking sophisticated; I think the wearing a black dress would similarly deaden you.

Sorry this is so stressful and frustrating for you. In the next week or month, I will be going prom dress shopping with my daughter who is at the opposite end of the spectrum with broad shoulders at least two sizes larger than her non-hips, wide back, and tiny boobs. Price is a major constraint, so I am hoping and praying she will like and fit the $54 short prom dress I saw online at Nordstrom. It only needs to hold up for one evening. . .Too bad her girlfriends at other schools are not the same size and have different body types. Fitting her body is so difficult that I don't see renting a dress online as a practical option. Do you think renting would work for you?

san

Veteran

Number 4 is a darker Navy blue so it will be more versatile like a black, only not black, if that makes sense. More like a neutral color I am trying to say. It is really sophisticated and fits you great, except for a possible alteration at the front of the armholes .
Number 3 is a beautiful dress too. It looks saphire blue or cobalt. It actually looks to fit perfectly right off the rack. Both are gorgeous and you did great on your shopping day.

Anonymous

I loved what number 2 does for your waist and figure (and complexion) before I knew it was X-rated. Corey is right about the peach gown I'm afraid, it's not the best color on you. I'd defer to Angie on this one!

LoP

Veteran

You look stunning in #2! I also love #4.

Freckles

Veteran

Michelle do you think a long skirt and blouse/top would work better for you?

Beth Ann

Veteran

I like 4 best, Michelle. While I agree the cobalt color is amazing, the purple has a lovely, flattering line. I particularly appreciate the way the neckline sits wide on your shoulders, opening up the collarbone area, and framing the face. Good fabric is also essential, since people will see you close up on the cruise -- it's a big mark of quality and elegance.

Jjsloane

Veteran

If you don't feel fab the search continues.

P.S. I really like #2 on you.

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