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Why have I disappeared...

anchie

Veteran

I am still regularly reading Angie’s blog but I am trying to stay away from the forum and here is why: My clothing budget for the year is gone. I have to fight the temptation to shop as best as I can. I am also staying away from other fashion blogs, not browsing on line shops, deleting e-mails with sales and promotions without reading, and not thinking about fashion in general. I hope you understand.

I did complete my wardrobe review, and put aside all things that don’t currently fit, but have not donated anything yet. I am left with 5 bottoms, 5 blazers and 12 tops that I am constantly rotating. Unfortunately not all blazers go with all the bottoms so I also have limited number of combinations. My WIW would put you to sleep after 2 weeks tops

I have also compiled the list of my most pressing needs. Here it is:
Trench coat - the weather is not cooperating, it is still not cold enough to wear wool coats so I am stuck with wearing my too big trench in wich I am feeling very sloppy and can’t wait to replace it. But probably will not be such a pressing need for long.
Jeans - so far I have concentrated on my work wear and did not replace any of my blue jeans. But nice fitting pair of jeans would be very nice thing to have.
Suit - In my line of work it is very useful to have at least one full suit, but unfortunately not any of my pants and blazer combos are making a suit. I will have a work function in November where the suit would be the most appropriate thing to wear but I will have to make do with what I have. Have not decided what color of the suit should I get first. Any suggestions?
Dress - this is more nice to have then real need, but would love to have at least one work dress that fits nicely.
Knee high boots - would love to replace dressy boots that are too stretched arround calf. But not really needed if I don’t get better fitting dresses and skirts first.
Winter coat - longer one in neutral color would be preferable. Not sure how long would be the season for it - sometimes I start wearing puffers middle of November and don’t t need wool coat until March. That can probably wait until January sales.

I have worked on my budget trying to fit all this in but unfortunately no wiggle room for this year. Just paid tuition and boarding costs for my son’s complete second year at uni in advance. Than we had some unplanned car repairs, my husband had expensive dental work, and my daughter went through another grow spurt where I had to replace her complete footwear collection. And we decided that family vacation end of this month will have priority over my clothes. So all that left me with big fat 0 in my clothing budget for this year. And most of the things from my list is on expensive side unfortunately.

So I hope that you understand my need not to be around temptation to make this shopping fast easier for me.

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Sisi

The Cat

Veteran

I respect your decision, but will miss your comments. This post is interesting and well-written, and I think several other forum members may be in a situation similar to yours.

My clothing budget for this year is gone, too. Nevertheless, I find it inspirational to be a part of the forum. We are here to listen to and learn from each other. Personally, I don't feel any pressure to buy anything, but I often get inspiration to styling my clothes in new-to-me way.

Best wishes for your family vacation, and welcome back to the forum any day!

DonnaF

Veteran

I'll miss you, but I can see how the Forum might lead to temptation or frustration.

In terms of the suit, will it be a pants suit or a skirted suit? Would you want one of those things where you can get a matching dress?

Also, would you want to wear the dozen tops you have, or do you think they will get worn out by their current heavy rotation? I'm just thinking that the tops might suggest a color. . .Or did you have a favorite color among your old suits?

I can be a tough fit when it comes to suit jackets, so perhaps I am biased. I would leave myself open to multiple possibilities in neutral colors (like navy or charcoal) and then see what the universe offers that particular season. If I focus too much on a particular color/neutral, I am apt to settle inadvertently just because I want to get the job done.

Anonymous

I too respect your decision and will miss you. I learned a lot from you. I saved several of your posts because they were so insightful.

As always your analysis is on pointe. Two weeks of work clothes is good. It will serve you well until your budget improves. Your list of needs is well thought out.

I personally have great respect for people that have budgets and adhere to them. I try very hard to be financially responsible. It sounds like you are. Best wishes to you the remainder of the year. I'll watch for you next year.

Dianna

Veteran

I will miss you, but I understand your decision and respect it. I have enjoyed your posts and participation in the Forum so much. Take care, enjoy your vacation, and I hope to see you back soon.

JAileen

Veteran

I understand why you're doing it, but I'll miss your posts. I hope you won't forget about us!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

You have made a well thought out decision and should do what is best for you - and come back whenever you are ready.

K.M.

Veteran

I completely empathize. My clothing budget is always restricted at all times, and I know what you mean about temptation. To me it's catalogs and emails that are the worst. But I don't feel too tempted when I frequent this forum. As others said, I get inspiration to reassemble my wardrobe, and I also get tons of helpful answers on issues related to the items I already have. In any case I also completely understand your decision! Especially as someone who doesn't participate here as often as I would like, mostly because of time. Just wanted to say you're not the only one who feels this way!

Beth Ann

Veteran

I applaud your decision to prioritize a family trip above a consumable item like clothing, and paying for college (I have two teens myself) in advance!

We will be here when you're able to add to your wardrobe. In the meantime, do you have anyone with whom you could swap clothing?

rachylou

Veteran

Of course, you'll be missed, Anchie! But it's a healthy decision. And as Angie says, wear the heck out of your clothes - it's a good thing!

...ok, Angie doesn't say 'heck' ...

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I will miss you Anchie but good luck and we will love to see you back. I participate in the forum more for interest in others than to buy. Of course it helps to not buy since I am the wrong season and in the Southern Hemisphere!

Sisi

Veteran

I will miss you, Anchie! I wish you all the best and hope to see you again soon.

Aquamarine

Veteran

You have great style and I will miss your posts. I agree this place is tempting, and I am trying very hard not to purchase anything else for a while too. It’s still fun to see how others put together outfits, though, and I am trying to use that to challenge myself to wear what I have. Your situation is different, though, with clothing that no longer fits. I wish you the best.

Toban

Veteran

I really appreciate your sharing your wardrobe review, gaps, and family priorities and completely understand the shopping temptations that come from this forum and especially from emails promoting sales. I hope the break is helpful and hope you come back soon to contribute your wonderful insights. And congratulations again on the weight loss.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anchie, I will miss your beautiful WIWs and posts but completely respect your decision and wish you luck! Will see you on the blog I hope.

viva

Veteran

Good luck, Anchie! I have done this before - stepped away from YLF when I need not to be tempted -- and for me, it always works. I hope it works for you too. I think much less about new things when I am not on YLF. Right now I am trying to be back on YLF for the community but ALSO not spend, and it's hard.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(Actually, Angie does say heck.....)

Anchie, you will be missed, and know that you are always welcome on YLF. Good luck and take care.

Lisa

Veteran

Good luck with your shopping fast!

rachylou

Veteran

(Lol! Heck!)

skylurker

Veteran

Hope you’ll come back soon.
Good to know you have a capsule for work.
Actually, in your situation (a complete wardrobe renewal), a long pause in shopping might be a blessing because there’s a lot of stuff to think through.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

That's the great thing about YLF that I will always be here. You have to make the decision that is healthy for you. I know I've left several times over the years and then come back. But I love stalking the page 2 or does it tell stalking the page anyway. Life happens to interrupt our fashion Journey sometimes but it sounds like you are off to a great start.

anchie

Veteran

Thank you all for such a wonderful words of wisdom and support. As always. I am already 4 weeks in my shopping fast and only about 8 more to go I will start browsing and planning my shopping in late December. I would probably be able to afford some smaller purchase already in November, but because my most pressing needs are higher ticket items I would rather wait and save up for them.
I never felt pressured to shop while participating in the forum, but it would make me think about clothes and shopping more than I want to think at the moment. Currently I just want to get dressed in the morning as best as I can with what I have and go on with my day without thinking any more about clothes and what I am wearing. I would not normally have to be so strict with my self, I have gone through shopping fasts before, but this time it is more frustrating because my wardrobe is kind of limited at the moment and I have genuine needs and holes.

I have also learned some lessons that I would like to share with you. When I refreshed my wardrobe with 5 blazers and 5 bottoms and couple of tops, I was shopping sales and clearances. I was buying what was available and always what was preferable and I made some compromises. I ended up with the set of clothes that does not play that nicely with each other. Yes, I am able to make 10 nice and distinctively different outfits. But I learned that I don’t need that much clothes and if I payed more attention to mix ability of the pieces I would probably feel less frustrated and limited in my options now. I am also somewhat worried that not all 10 outfits will transition nicely to colder weather when I would need different shoes and tops. Another lesson is that I should have invested in my casual wardrobe also and not just concentrate on my work wardrobe. Weekend wear is now struggle, and I don’t want to even think about packing for family vacation that is happening in 10 days.

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Anchie, I completely understand your decision to pull back for a while. I think many of us follow a similar ebb and flow of participation. I certainly do.

I'll say this though. I've found YLF has been a huge help in moderating my shopping, focusing on needs and requirements, and making fewer and better choices. I enjoy the puzzle of breaking down the content, mixing and matching particular items and moving towards a more sustainable closet.

So if your objective is to not shop, there are ways to engage here that support that objective while you ponder your next purchase. For instance, I've always found stalking those high ticket items until I can afford them a great way to restrain myself.

Either way, enjoy the break.

skylurker

Veteran

I get your frustration, you need to be patient - because you don’t have the money yet, because you won’t stumble on the right thing immediately - but it’s extra difficult to be patient when you’re not happy with your wardrobe!
Thinking in capsules might be the best strategy when you start shopping again - since you’ve not banned yourself from the blog, you could read up all Angie had to say on the subject : it’s hard work but I think it pays off.

Sisi

Veteran

Anchie, thank you for sharing your lessons. I have often bought things without thinking how to mix them with what I already had in my closet. Result: struggles to put an outfit together and the sensation of having nothing to wear. As Skylurker wisely suggests we should think in capsules when shopping. That said, I am sure that in spite of all you will make it brilliantly !