Why Do You Visit YLF? - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Why Do You Visit YLF?

Gaylene

Veteran

Some of the recent threads on the forum have made me wonder what it is that draws each of us to the YLF forum, and, I guess, why sometimes it seems like we might want to take a breather.

I know that the main reason I participate is because I've always been interested in clothes and fashion but don't know many others who are as interested in this topic in my day-to-day life. (BIG understatement there!) I get teased (gently) by my family who seem to find it quite amusing that I'd participate in an online fashion forum. I also appreciate the respectful way in which participants make comments and the effort that Angie and Greg put in to make this site a welcoming, yet safe, place to visit. It tickles me to see the close relationships that develop here and how, quite often, meeting in real life seems like a very natural extension. I also get a kick out of the international aspect of the forum and variety of ages and occupations represented here.

While I enjoy the WiW postings, and, occasionally, do comment on them, I doubt that I'd visit this site just for those threads. I don't choose to post my own pictures because, to be honest, I wouldn't wear something that people in my day-to-day life didn't like, even if it got a thumbs up approval from YLFers. And I feel reasonably happy with my current style, so, other than a few tweaks, I'm not really inclined to want to emulate others' outfits. For these reasons, among others, I've also thought on occasion that maybe it might be appropriate to dial back on my participation in the forum.

So, over to the rest of you. What are your main reasons for participating in this forum? To get Angie's personalized advice about an item or trend? To get others' comments and reactions to your fashion choices? To get assistance putting together an outfit or a wardrobe? To get ideas that you can emulate in your own outfits? To hang out and talk about fashion? To have a circle of online friends who provide support and help when needed? To have a place to rant (when necessary) and to ask questions about anything and everything? To get shopping suggestions? Or something else entirely. And have you ever thought about taking time away from participating in the forum?

I'm curious as to what the responses might be...

General

50 replies

Latest reply was from MNsara

Makrame

Veteran

I started visiting a long time ago (in 2007) without posting. I find that blog posts as well as WIWs really helped me get a hang of what were (and are) current trends. Before YLF I could never quite make sense of what was in stores (like I would walk into the Loft or Banana Republic and wonder, why is there so much teal or orange or pleated skirts or whatever all of a sudden, and not have a clue ). Now I spend a lot less time in brick and mortar stores but I am much more aware of what is "trending" or current.

I find that YLF helps me target my shopping a lot better and I have more success with that.

I have had a lot of very useful feedback with the WIWs and found that while I had been on the forum for a long time, my ability to put together flattering and modern outfits has improved dramatically after I started posting photos. However, I do find that now I could just photograph my outfits and make a decision on my own (and often do just that).

It's also a fun and welcoming community; it seems to have the least amount of interpersonal tension or factions that I have seen on any online forum.

April

Veteran

I'm mostly here to learn.

After a number of years on the forum, I'm still learning things about fit, about putting together outfits, about wardrobe editing, about color choices.

catgirl

Veteran

I originally came here to learn and to figure out why I loved and bought so many things yet couldn't find a thing to wear in the morning. I have come to love the social aspect as well. Since I not only live in a low-fashion place, but also have few friends as interested in fashion and style, this is my fix. I've met YLFers in real life and that has actually been my favorite (and unexpected) part of being here in this community.

I still have so much to learn and hope to continue improving and honing my own style along with admiring other YLFers. WIWs and K/R have become a way of keeping myself on track and accountable in terms of making strides.

I don't belong to any other online forums or participate in any social networking this way, other than Facebook which is a way to keep in touch with my family easily.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Because I love and adore Angie and all my YLF friends. There is no better community anywhere. Second, I feel much better about myself and have grown in self-confidence by learning how to dress to suit my body and personality thanks to Angie. I could go on and on but I'll leave it at that!

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I found YLF through Academichic. As a perpetual grad student I have spent the better part of the last decade working at home, glued to the computer. Yet somehow I have managed to amass an overflowing closet in that time. When I started seeing the end of my PhD I realized I had no clue how to dress myself in an appropriate and flattering way, and my bulging wardrobe was not making it any easier.

I still don't have a very good handle on my personal style goals or what looks good on me, but I'm learning. I often look at WIWs but I rarely comment because I just don't have the expertise to say something constructive -- everyone here looks great to me, and I often can't even see the little details that prompt someone else to say that something doesn't fit right, or isn't flattering, or what have you.

YLF is definitely one of the friendlier communities on the net, in my experience. Even the members-only blog I sometimes frequent which is dedicated solely to other fat people in the pursuit of a fashionable and flattering wardrobe, and ostensibly to the promotion of fat acceptance, is filled with snarky and hateful comments. I think the harshest comment I have ever seen here is "not a fan" or "poison eye", which is saying something.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I came first to learn, and read the blog posts (going back into the archives). I had loved fashion as a young woman but never felt I'd developed a personal style, and after 20 years of essentially ignoring fashion, followed by significant weight loss, I needed to learn how to dress my new self.

A year and a half later, I am still learning. I feel I've come a long way towards creating a wardrobe that works for me, but I still have a ways to go, especially in summer months, when I miss my beloved jackets so much! Taking photos has helped enormously, whether I post them or not. At first I felt foolish doing this, and like you, I come in for a fair bit of teasing from my family for this (all gentle and well-meant). But it's made a big difference.

So education was what I sought, and what I've found. But I stay most of all for the community! I never expected to find that on the forum and have been so pleasantly surprised. Angie and Greg have created such a welcoming place; I have met some YLF friends in real life and hope to meet more!

I am always thrilled and honoured when Angie gives some special advice. And I have also benefitted enormously from the collective wisdom of this group.

I use YLF now as pretty much my sole social networking outlet. I do belong to Facebook (more or less have to, for my work) but truthfully, I only visit there about once a week or less, and for a very short period, and with a sense of obligation. ("Oh, no, now I have to go and check FB, UGH!") I find that FB makes me feel scattered and at odds with myself. A visit to YLF leaves me feeling happy and engaged.

My family thinks I am a bit kooky for doing this, but I tell them it is no crazier than playing Angry Birds or following the football scores -- and probably a lot more mentally and emotionally enriching! And on a deep level, they know that. From being a huge skeptic, my husband has actually become a huge YLF fan and will often say to me, "What do the YLF ladies say about that?" He has seen the difference my participation makes to my looks, my confidence, and my enjoyment. And since I don't have any friends IRL who share my fashion interest, it's especially lovely to find them online!

A HUGE thank you to Angie and Greg for making this possible!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Like Una, this is the only forum I do, or ever have, particpate(d) on. I came here shortly after turning 40 and realizing my bargain duds from the juniors department weren't cutting it anymore. But every other 'over 40' online advice or look was downright frumpy and I knew that wasn't for me.
Now I also come here for the community and social aspect. I am still trying to hone in my style and more importantly, change my purchasing habits and tactics. I never had a budget before, I never thought of occasion specific attire before, or capsules, or on and on.
It is helpful to me to come here and use the community as a mirror so to speak to reflect back to you what maybe you can't see clearly yourself.
Also I find lovely treasures to covet. I have a few jackets I adore I would never have found if I'd not seen them on Jonesy's WIW's or Rae's fall list, etc. I get inspiration from the blog topics and the individual posts here. I also get a very clear idea of what is not me and that's just as helpful, frankly.
I try not to go too off topic. I do participate in the Healthy Habits threads, but I feel that's part of the overall look we present to the world and not so far off the topic really.
Mostly, I like seeing what my online fashion buddies are up to and wearing

EDIT: I cannot leave out the wonderful bonus of Angie's personal advice and tips. When I was shopping for the first suit in 10 years she helped point the way, brands, stores, and then helped with deciding on fit when pieces arrived. She does this in little ways for us day in and day out and it's so giving of her.

sinead

Because I needed a serious style rescue and after searching high and low on the internet, YLF stood out as the most helpful site to get me started. I spent a decade putting my wardrobe needs very last, which was easy to do as a single mom, but when I look back I can see time after time when I could've done a few updates but didn't. Mainly because I had no idea how to shop, how to create a cohesive wardrobe, what were the essentials or what my style really was... And I was tired of having events and situations come up and not having the clothes for them, and having to cobble together an 'okay' outfit instead of something that made feel stylish and attractive.

Angie was able, in her blog posts, to break down style for me: why something worked, proportions, wardrobe workhorses, holes, essentials. Her no-nonsense explanation of keeping your wardrobe refreshed and replenished so that you could put together an outfit and avoid holes... the light bulb went off for me. I was continually short a piece- I'd have the dress, but no shoes to work with them, missing tights, etc.
Angie was able to set me right on fit- I was wearing things way too big, and she called me on it in no uncertain terms- and it was very appreciated!

I love the community and also, like someone has mentioned, really enjoy the international aspect of it. I could go on but this has gotten long. Except for one more- I enjoy the fact that there are so many fab over- 50 YLFer's!

kellygirl

Veteran

I love the community and I love to see what other people are wearing! I'm definitely not a fashionista but I enjoy a well put together outfit as much as the next person. To me, YLF makes fashion accessible to everyone. I may not participate in very many trends but it helps me figure out the ones that might work for me. I think this place is soley responsible for saving me from Frumpville.

pil

Veteran

Because I've always been mousy and now that I'm *old* and mousy thought I should try stepping out from my cloak of invisibility. Just because I'm homely and droopy and lumpy doesn't mean I have to dress that way too. Not there yet, but I have received real life compliments on two outfits I've put together since joining. I truly appreciate what Angie and Greg have done with this forum - what a time commitment for them both.

I too love seeing what other members wear. "Meeting" members is a treat, although I'm still figuring out who people are. Your advice and kindness is very much appreciated.

rachylou

Veteran

I don't remember how I got here exactly or why I entered the forum. Various things had me rethinking my wardrobe and presentation (over and over again, I might add). Also one frustrating project left me with a lot of downtime to kill and surf the web ;>. I enjoy thinking about clothes and it's what I do when I've got nothing to do.

But I do remember being hooked in by Angie's MOTG outfits and her whole concept of formulas. Angie does a very good job of explaining things, breaking things down and showing you the "insides" of an outfit. (Now that I think about it, it's really perfect for my technician self.) Angie is an incredible teacher.

That, however, only explains why I continue to read the blog. I think I stay on the forum because all together it's a constructive, peaceful, cheerful place. Genuinely nice. Angie and Greg are good people, kind and generous, and gosh if everyone else isn't too!

And focused. I do actually want to talk about fashion. I remember joining a book club where no one really liked to read books, and I was quite baffled as to what to do next. And while I'm very definite about my likes, dislikes, and opinions - well, that can get stale and confining. Input is a good thing.

shiny

Veteran

I've always loved clothes and fashion, and from my teens on I'd spend a lot of time shopping for clothes. But I'd never quite nail it. Obvious fit reasons (being petite), and less obvious reasons. I always felt like a fashion-wannabe, and I still do, but YLF has really helped me grow into my own, and given me much more confidence to take risks. It's also been incredibly therapeutic, as I've mentioned in other threads. The whole taking-pictures thing helps me get over body issues.

I can't remember how, exactly, I first found YLF. I am in marketing and it was around that time the boss I had asked me to go "figure out this blog, discussion forum and social media thing." There was a company-wide mandate for this; believe it or not, we were *encouraged* to spend part of our day participating in forums such as this, and playing around with Facebook too. And, it needn't be job related; we were told it was okay to pick any interest at all... so ... being addicted to What Not to Wear ... I started following fashion blogs... this one had a forum.. the rest is history!

I will add here that I participate in a lot of forums and this one is, by far, hands down, the nicest community. And that is to Angie and Greg's credit, but it's also due to every member. That keeps me coming back.

I did take a long break there for awhile. The reasons:
1) My daughters were in high school and I wanted to focus more on family, since it wouldn't be long until they left the nest.
2) I reached a point where I had "enough" clothes. And yes, I drastically reduced my shopping.
3) ... which helped immensely to save up money for college expenses

I've been following the blog all along, even if not commenting. Why I came back again to participate in the forums:
1) My daughters are both in college now and I have waaaayyyyy too much time on my hands.
2) I was starting to think my wardrobe needed an update.
3) I missed you all!

I do like the WiW threads. I don't post every single outfit, since I re-wear a lot, or I get on a jag with a formula so it'd be redundant. Photographing my outfits is therapeutic for me. I appreciate immensely the constructive feedback and eagle eye and suggestions. I also do like the boosts. Who wouldn't.

I like viewing others' WiW's for inspiration -- and even if I don't comment, I view every single one. I do love brainstorming suggestions because it helps *me* think in "how can I make my own outfit" better mode when I'm getting dressed. However, the WiW's have a drawback: it makes me itch to buy more than I need!

I also love the threads that get all analytical, or philosophical.

Lastly, I will say I'm truly inspired by those of you who are volunteering for Dress for Success. I am entertaining the idea myself. I suspect I'd really enjoy that. I love shopping with others and for them, not myself.

Mona

Veteran

I discovered YLF through one of the blogs and initially was just a silent observer for a year or so. I wanted to dress up nice and stylish but was not happy with my wardrobe at all. Seeing Angie's posts about what is in style, shopping tips and her outfits was what got me hooked. After some time I started looking at the forum and found that my problems with my wardrobe were not unique to me and a lot of women struggle in this area. This is what kept me coming back to YLF. I saw all the energy and enthusiasm that is put into outfits and realized that there is a way, I can learn to dress up that will make me feel fabulous and modern instead of dated and frumpy. Off course, the social aspect is big for me also. Like Suz mentioned in her reply, none of my friends share much enthusiasm about fashion. Visiting YLF gives me a great sense of belonging.
I am still far away from where I want to be in my style journey but I have learned a lot and have more confidence in myself. Gradually, I am building a wardrobe that is coherent, modern and comfortable.

Gaylene

Veteran

Thanks so much for all the comments. It is so much fun to read through them and I keep nodding my head in agreement with all your reasons.

It seems like I am not alone in originally coming to this site for information and guidance on fashion, but got hooked because of the community. And that sounds so weird coming from me because I generally don't feel inclined to visit web forums and very rarely choose to comment on other blogs. The fact that I now feel better about my shape and my wardrobe seems like a bonus.

I also have Angie to thank for giving me the green light to bare my athletic calves, and less than perfect legs, in skirts after a long period of trying to hide them in pants. And, incredibly, I now even LIKE them.

Love reading all your comments; they are such a positive, uplifting commentary on what Angie and Greg have created here.

Diana

Veteran

I initially came here because I love fashion and want to talk about it. I don't work in a very fashion-conscious field, and all my favorite shopping friends moved away, so I didn't really have anyone to talk about clothes and style with.

I stayed because of the people. Seriously, I have met so many wonderful people here, and I love seeing what you are all wearing and are up to. I'm not at all someone who would normally go to meetups with people I met on the internet, but here I've even initiated a meet-up.

Anonymous

I actually do not recall how I ended up here, I always say I was probably doing a search on business casual attire but now I'm not sure. I have always love fashion and enjoyed shopping for clothes, so I enjoy all of the topics, WIWs, K/Rs etc. However, what actually keeps me coming back is the community. I actually tried to step away for a bit and I could not. I missed my online friends so much!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nodding alongside so many comments here! Yay, Gaylene, to the baring of muscular calves!!

I want to add that as others have said, the international character of this forum is part of what makes it so fantastic. As well as the wide variety of ages and professions represented. I LOVE that I can be comparing ideas with a 20-something woman and a 60-something woman! I LOVE that I can get inspiration not only from Angie, but also from her fab clients like Karen and Phoebe and BeiJing and many more! And it is such a treat to see outfits posted by women just like me - ordinary, not models, wearing clothes I might be able to afford (at least sometimes). I love that I can talk to and befriend someone in Alaska, California, Boston, Australia, London, Winnipeg...and even Ottawa!

Anonymous

I started coming here to keep up on what is in/out. I was impressed by Angie's knowledge.

I keep coming to live vicariously- I love dressing in nice pulled together outfits. I do if I have a function to attend or while on vacation but not in my day to day life. I work at a dog kennel and am a complete mess. When I get home I just don't feel like putting on something nice to sit around the house or go for a walk on the beach in the wind and rain.

I don't comment on WIW posts a lot because I don't really like giving my viewpoint and I get tired of just saying "nicely done..bla bla bla", though I know it feels good to get that kind of feedback. I do very much enjoy looking at the WIW posts and do often feel inspired.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I found this site because I wanted to hem some pants and wanted to know what proper pants length would be. I wasn't interested in the forum at first, but I am very involved in my wardrobe (and wanted to be less so) and members were asking questions that I could answer, so I jumped in. I work in a very male industry and it's refreshing to take a dip on the girl side. Boys often do not understand the thrill of a new sweater.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I first came to YLF (which was just a blog then) when my daughters were about two and I emerged from the haze of babycare and wanted to look more grown up. I also was reconnecting with my thrift store habits, and needed some guidance on clothes and how they worked. It took me a very long time to participate in the forum, and what drew me in was the opportunity to participate in some very interesting discussions with such impressive women. Apart from that, the number of women my age and older on the forum serves as a constant boost whenever I start feeling down about aging. Sometimes I catch a glance at myself in a mirror and get a sinking feeling, and thinking about the fab women on this forum is the crutch I use to hoist myself out of it. There are lots of other reasons I love it here, and I don't participate in any other forum, but I think that self-esteem first aid might be the most important.

MsMary

Veteran

I came for the fashion advice and stayed for the community!

Plus I am a gigantic narcissist and love posting my outfits and getting feedback!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I think I came here through Already Pretty. I was in the Bronx and was looking for fashion blogs. I lurked for over two years before posting and then I think it took another year to post an outfit.
I've always been relatively confident in my fashion choices, so initially it was more for affirmation. If I remember correctly my first outfit got a killer rating from Angie.
Now it's more about the community. I've made some true real life friends through here.
I enjoy the perspective that fashion is not just limited to the young, skinny and rich.

fern

Veteran

Awww, these are awesome.
I came here as part of a "self-care" initiative - after a bad depression, I decided that learning how to dress might help me feel better about myself. I wore athletic clothes & gear all my life, too big, which is fine where I live, but felt unprofessional. I started reading several blogs, like Already Pretty and Academichic, and those led me to YLF, lurking.

When I saw how supportive the forum was, I started to participate - slowly I love the character of the interactions here - totally constructive criticism is amazing & rare, elsewhere on the internet (!). I love the variety of opinions here, and seeing outfits on every body shape. I think I like the philosophical discussions about dressing the most - what it means to portray yourself one way or another.

I am so happy I have a better understanding of my wardrobe, my shopping, & I am slowly getting to where I can plan how I want to look and make it happen.

Elly

Veteran

I belonged briefly to another fashion forum before this that was also a nice community but had fewer ladies and slowly died out, and had a bit of an issue with the general culture not being as open-minded as YLF. I love fashion but don't really have any female friends or family members that enjoy it IRL (or in the case of one friend, loves fashion but is painfully clueless and lives thousands of miles from me).

I found YLF through a picture of Angie that lead me to read the blog. I found Angie's style striking (even if it wasn't as in tune with my own) and then found the forum and was delighted to see how kind and helpful everyone was.

I started reading in spring of 2010 and posted the first time that summer. At the time I was only a couple months out from a serious medical diagnosis and a dramatic breakup with an abusive man I was engaged to that ended in him threatening to kill me while I was trapped in our apartment with him and his gun. I also was about to become a college grad. I was feeling down about my appearance and wanted to shake up my life in a positive way and knew I needed to step up my look now that I was graduating.

YLF was a great place to come for initial advice, and then has continued to be a warm supportive community to escape to for some fun while I've been healing. I ended up taking an additional year of coursework after my graduation, and graduated again and have now been working on and off for a year and still trying to accomplish my fashion goals, but I'm one of those that saves up info in my brain and puts it to use all at once, rather than very gradually.

I do and have posted a few pictures here, because I do enjoy looking at WIWs and have needed fit or other advice a time or two-- I'd like to do more of it in the future.

Deborah

Veteran

Like MaryK I came for the fashion. Discovered how incredible Angie is in terms of her advice, support and guidance (not to mention how lovely a person she is) and stayed for the community. I have never been involved in an online community before and this is the only one I participate on and I love it. I cannot believe I have connected with so many smart, interesting and lovely women who love fashion as much as I do. This is one of my favorite places

N-Marie

Veteran

I am a newbie here, but I came here after reading some of Angie's articles about MOTG style, which I found very helpful. I enjoy reading the WIW posts because it is so rare to see fashion trends executed so well on real people rather than fashion models! And to read such positive, helpful opinions instead of body-bashing and snark.

As a new mom, only recently graduated from grad school, I was in dire need of a style update and found this to be a great starting point (especially the "how to wear a..." and MOTG formula articles).

In the forum, I find posting pics helpful in terms of getting feedback (or a boost!) and a good incentive to make more careful style choices even when life is hectic. I try to comment when I can but there is a pretty divide between my online/offline time and since I work from home I have to be very disciplined about keeping work and personal time separate.

I've been on a few forums that specialize in areas of interest to me and I find it a good way to keep from annoying my not-so-interested friends and family with my latest obsessions. And I must say that of all of the forums, this is by far the nicest and most helpful - there is a remarkable lack of trolls and mean people! So kudos to Angie and Greg and to the community for self-policing

DonnaF

Veteran

I stumbled across this site about a year ago when I decided that my wardrobe needed some serious revamping. I learned a lot from Angie's blogs, and then I started visiting the forum. It has been great to learn from so many women of varying ages, varying body types, and varying styles -- and virtually everyone is so nice and helpful. I'm a petite, and there are a number of petite bloggers, but they look to be about a size minus zero and twenty or thirty-something so, ummm, not my type!

This place, however, has NOT been good for my budget!!! But last weekend, four or five people from my church told me how stylish I've been looking lately. [Note: The members of my church are seriously unstylish and frumpy as almost a church culture.]

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your reasons, and in particular a big thanks to Gaylene for posting the question. This is very interesting to read, and your words resonate with me indeed. I am a newbie here, started posting this Summer after reading the blog for a few months. The blog beeped on my radar when I searched for advice on what to wear after 40. My successful shopping trip to San Diego this Summer (I returned with a new work-appropriate capsule) happened mainly because of advice fom Angie's blog posts. She is an excellent teacher. For the first time in my life I now have a quite versatile and enjoyable wardrobe. I was intruiged by the WIW's in the forum, and eventually tried posting myself. The friendliness I met was truly overwhelming, and made a strong impression on me. I now come back to read a lot of the threads on various topics, because like Gaylene, I think the WIW's are not enough in the long run. But a forum full of friendly, warm and appreciative people are. Getting Angie's personal comments on my posts is always very fulfilling, too, and that means very much. I also learn something new from you fab ladies every day.

ramya

Veteran

I love reading. And blogs were fun. Plus this was a" fashion blog":)....
Do I need say more... I used to read and read slowly I noticed I started dressing better.I was considred(please note considered) a smart dresser but I caused a mini coup in my office the day I wore a cobalt blue polka dot top with floral print scarf :D...

I loved how the community here was like a big sister hood. Then we decided to relocate to Norway. I was clueless... People here were soo supportive on what to buy how to buy etc

I put up a brave face at home front for the sake of the family and the gentle and loving community gave me the support I needed to move on.
I felt that I have friends here as I new Jayne, Harmonica and now Ingunn.

A month after I moved , I was depressed and you guys were fabulous. The words of wisdom from Gaylene and many others were just what I needed.

For me, this is much more than a Fashion community. May sound strange but, its a group of friends:)...

Thank you Angie and Greg and all the lovely YLFers

Oh ya this is the only community I participate in

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