Why can't I stop myself from doing this? - YouLookFab Forum

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Why can't I stop myself from doing this?

Aziraphale

Veteran

This is so stupid, but I can't seem to stop myself doing it. I have four identical merino sweaters -- two navy ones, a silver grey one, and a camel one. They are all soft and comfortable, and I like the shape. However, I don't particularly care for the camel one. I bought it as an experiment, and it turns out I don't love the colour (I'm OK with camel on my bottom half, but for some reason I don't like it on top). But guess which one I wear most? Yep, that's right, the camel one. (I know for sure I've worn it a lot because I've been tracking worn items since October). It never gets worn when I'm going anywhere, but I wear it when I'm working at home because I always think, This is comfy, and no one's going to see me, and I don't want to add mileage to the navy and silver sweaters because I like them so much more. Yet every time I wear the camel sweater, I don't feel fab. But it seems silly to get rid of it because the fabric is lovely and it has lots of wear in it still.

Would you get rid of it? Or would you keep it?

This is why I tend not to stray out of my favourite colour zone much. I always end up getting burned. I so rarely add a new colour to my "preferred colour" palette, and I've collected a number of items over the years in colours I don't like. It feels like a waste.

Dressing

34 replies

Latest reply was from

Thistle

Veteran

My $0.02 is to let it go. You don't feel fab in it, so it hasn't earned a place in your closet.

Yes, you have already bought it and paid for it. It is a sunk cost and a learning experience. No more camel tops Let the cost of the sweater be the cost of the learning experience and move on.

Aziraphale

Veteran

But but but...then my navy sweaters will wear out faster!

Thistle

Veteran

Yep, and there will be another one when it does In a then current silhouette.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I know. You're absolutely right. It still bugs me, though.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

Dye it Navy.

you're welcome steph

carter

Veteran

I haven't dyed anything since tye-dye in the 70s, but could you dye it a color you like better?

Parsley

Veteran

Oh, I hear you, Elisabeth! I did the same thing and even the same color!
I bought a camel cashmere sweater (Halogen- on sale, so at least not a huge investment). But unlike you, I'm just not wearing it. It just isn't a good color for me at all. What was I thinking?
Probably for both of us the answer is the same- move on, donate the sweater and let someone else enjoy it. Lesson learned.

cheryl

Veteran

I tend to hang on to everything. Even things that aren't so fab. I am really working on trying to let go of things. I keep telling myself if I let things go it opens up space for something much better. That being said if it's comfy and you love wearing it around the house, then wear the heck out of it and don't buy any more camel tops lol.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I do this all the time. When you are home alone and know no one is going to see you it can feel like you're 'wasting' a wearing of clothing you like, and so you go for the B roster, or second best. That way you don't wear out the clothes you love early. But, then you're spending your time in clothes you don't love. It's a conundrum. You are not alone.

Helena

Veteran

Is there something you could do to make it more lovable? Is it the color against your face you don't like?

I totally do this btw - I "save" the good stuff for when someone else will see it

Alassë

Veteran

For you, move on - you have a curated closet and prefer the discipline, I think.

El Cee

Veteran

Gosh… just like Mo, I do this all the time. I wear my second string stuff (comfy but not special in any way) around the house and tend to want to save the favorites for when I am in public. So silly! [Today I am at home in an awful purple sweatshirt that I had to wear for a recent fundraiser. Thankfully the only one who will be seeing me is my cat.] Should you purge the sweater? I guess it all depends on how it makes you feel to be wearing something that is comfy but not a particularly great look. I find that some things are definitely worth keeping around as loungewear if they are "PJ" soft and warm.

Tina

Veteran

The only solution that works for me is to get rid of it. I have the same mentality you do, and it's not that it doesn't serve a good purpose- sometimes. However, I'm old enough and have shopped enough to have even my 'at home' clothes be at least good colors on me. I don't know if that's the case for you.
Further, I echo Thistles advice, there will be more sweaters and you will surely want to shop at some point. Imagine being able to lament to our DH's that we really NEED something replaced and then providing the evidence.

unfrumped

Veteran

To me it involvesthe intentional loungewear capsule vs. overlapping work and casual. I think about both--I don't want different-occasion capsules that are so large I include items I don't like, or can't get enough wear out of; I don't want to wear any of my really nice work pants or tops for true lounging, cooking, eating pizza and watching movies; and I don't want to hoard lots of "nice" clothes. So I'm more about overlapping lounging with grocery shopping in some items (not the Blardigan! but the soft blue jeans, some comfy cardigans), and overlapping some workwear items with church and evenings out to dinner or activities. So you have to find your balance.

I say start with identifying a philosophy and plan and your boundaries.
Would you normally wear a merino sweater for casual/lounging or only if you know you will never need it for "good"? Or do you love the fabric and so your goal is to have enough to risk wearing for casual and it wouldn't capsize your work capsule? And do you care ? For example, sometimes there is a color I like even though it is not the most flattering and so casual/lounge is an opportunity to wear it. Not talking about something that makes me feel bad, though. So some types of camel or beige might fit in there for me, as are versatile and often found in "comfy" clothing. Or is it a goal to surround yourself with your best colors because they give you energy?

rachylou

Veteran

Ohmigosh, I so do that too!! You *should* get rid of it. What I'd actually do, personally, is wear the ugly one to death.

celia

Veteran

Yes, I do the same thing. I tend to wear clothes who don't fit that well or the color is not that great on me to 'save' the better ones.
The only way is to let them go.
(Yes, you will regret it afterwards, but it is really the only way)

rae

(website)

Veteran

I immediately thought of dying it, too. Dark eggplant?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Let it go. Wear the navy and black.

For what it is worth, that is what I would do.

That is what I DID with the orange pants I mistakenly bought. Gave them to Mary K. It was an experiment, I learned from it. No more orange.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Dyeing it seems like so much work. I've tried it a few times in the past and it has never worked. For one thing, the garment always runs on every subsequent wash. Also, the colour never works out the way you think it will.

Gaylene

Veteran

Oh, this hit a nerve! Buy multiples, wear the least favorite one all the time to "save" the ones I like best, and wonder why I put myself into this ridiculous position where I'm always in my least loved stuff.

My solution is to wear the unloved piece until the next "No Guilt Timeout" comes around. Two or three times a year, I declare a "No Guilt Timeout" which is a set time period of 1-2 hours where I can cull things from my wardrobe without recriminations. Guilt takes a holiday for 60-90 minutes.

April

Veteran

Yep, let it go. It's bad to have anything you don't wear because you're saving it for "some other time, when people will see me." That is just asking to one day open your drawer and find that the sweaters you really like have been eaten by moths.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

hi aziraphale! re: dyeing. first, many cleaners offer this service. going dark over light or medium is an easy one, if you like navy and the feel/cut of this sweater it may make sense - unless you don't mind the $$$.

and not to sound snarkry - but if you get a wild hair to try dyeing, there's a lot of very useful easy to understand tutorials and info online. use a prep product beforehand (like RIT dye remover), follow the instructions and use a dye setter (like rit dye fixative) once you get the color how you like. i have to say, that fixative works a treat!

i just feel bad when people get worked up about dyeing, these days it's not a big deal (esp. if you just drop off at the cleaners!). Just prep before, fix afterwards, and read and follow the directions. good luck whatever you do! steph

catgirl

Veteran

I guess I think of this differently because I don't work from home or stay home during the day. I love my lounge clothes not because they look great, but because of how they feel and the fact that I don't have to care if they are covered in dog/cat hair or if I use a sleeve to dust the shelf. I care that they are comfy and do not need to be styled or maintained. Thus, I have my DHs shrunken holey cashmere sweater, my hideous brown fleece camping pants, my cheapo Lands End polar fleece pullovers.... By the time I get to loungewear I feel fab because I am out of my work clothes and into mom/relax mode!

So I'd be using that camel sweater as pajamas or loungewear because that is my way of shifting into at home mode. I wonder if lounge capsule approaches differ for SAH folks based on working at home or not, and those of us who leave the home to work.

AJ

Veteran

If you don't like the color on you, then try one of these ideas:

http://www.pinterest.com/momnd.....-sweaters/

E

Veteran

I don't really have a lounge capsule (as I spend most of my time at home, I just wear regular clothes, bookended by my pjs), but my cold weather pj capsule includes 3 lovely wool sweaters that are good fabric & comfy but either not the right colour or shape/size for me to want to wear them in regular life. Perhaps you need the perfect sleeping sweater? Alternatively, would you not mind the colour as much if you wore a bigger/bulkier scarf over it?

Otherwise, since you don't feel good in it, and you keep wearing it over your true favourites, I'd consider rehoming it.

Isabel

Veteran

I cannot agree more with what Thistle said. Wear out your navy sweaters. : )

CharlotteVale

Welcome to my life... in my case my wardrobe (or lack thereof) at the moment is almost entirely of the camel sweater variety (i.e. not fab on me but wearing it nonetheless because I made the mistake of buying it).

Get rid of it... in addition to not enjoying wearing it; it's taking up mental real estate.

(Wish I could take my own advice.)

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I dunno, obviously if you feel ick in it get rid of it, but I do this all the time. I have several items that I only wear at home, because they have a little something that's not quite perfect or they're a little too slouchy to be the most flattering when seeing other people. It's nice to have a few things that feel like a treat or somehow a break from 'regular dressing'. But maybe that's just me.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I used to do this all the time The ONLY way I stopped myself from doing it was to let go of the things that weren't working - honestly if they were there I'd wear them.

I still make mistakes but now I make sure they are gone before I get into the wearing them rut

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