Wherein I whine

Yesterday I tried to find something at Kohl's to use a free $10 coupon. Everything in the regular section was too small; everything in the plus section was too big. I think I've gained a touch of weight this summer, maybe 5 pounds, but it's made half my clothes fit badly. I'm so tired of it, and having to try on 3 sizes in order to get something that might fit - for a week or two. I know I should lose that weight, and more besides, but then I'd have to start all over again with clothes and shopping. I don't care what size I wear, I just want it to stay the same.

I don't know why I'm posting, or what I'm hoping to achieve - just tired of it at the moment, and hoping someone else has been there too.

14 years ago

Shopping

10 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

Vildy

Veteran

It seems like I'm there a lot. Problem could be partly solved by stopping to eat so much
low fat ice cream - lactose intolerant and the lactaid ice creams not much better for me and I don't want to search out soy ice cream. So will I stop? Apparently not yet. Side view of bloating encourages me to get rid of lots of clothing.

14 years ago

DressLover

Veteran

*hugs* Laura, I am so sorry to read this as I can almost hear your frustration as I read. I know it can seem like an insurmountable mountain when there is a large task at hand. I think we have all been there many times throughout our lives, but it sure doesn't make it any easier! I am glad you are posting and venting and sharing with us.

Try not to think of weight loss as a punishment or a hassle. Think of finding new pieces along the way and at your goal weight as a process, not a task to check off the list and move on. If you get in the mindset of losing everything and feeling an immediate need to replace it all, you will go crazy. The saying that Rome wasn't built in a day has merit. Don't place all that undue stress on yourself. Focus on you and the wardrobe can come later.

Remember, the first step is always the worst, but as soon as you take it the journey can be at whatever pace you need to go. I wish you success and know we are here for you!

14 years ago

marianna

Veteran

I totally get it, Laura. I often feel like I am a size that doesn't exist -- XL is sometimes too tight, but 1X is too big. It's a really frustrating size range to be in... and makes shopping very difficult.

I wish I could provide more encouraging or constructive feedback, but I wanted to let you know that I 1000% understand what you're feeling right now.

14 years ago

(website)

Veteran

sorry to hear your frustrations - I am a fairly constant size but when I do have that extra inch that won't let me zip up my pants comfortably it makes for a bummer trying to find what will work in the wardrobe. Empire waist dresses come out to play at those tough, inflated, times
Just a tip that has worked for me - easing up on salt and simple carbs can help with bloat in a day or two. Hang in there!

14 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

I empathize. Nothing is more of a downer than a lousy shopping day. Not to suggest retail therapy, but I have found makeup a wonderful mood booster, especially if it comes in a pretty package and is a delightful color.

And dresslover - that's great advice for life in general, never mind weight!

14 years ago

Anonymous

Yuck. I know how you feel. Five pounds for me is a whole size and I have to be really motivated to even THINK about trying to lose it. I don't know what's worse: the emotional sluggishness or the physical sluggishness!

Too make you feel better, maybe it's Kohl's and not you. The last three times I have shopped there I have come home empty handed despite having a store credit, a 30%off coupon and one of those $10 off a $30 purchase coupons! :).

14 years ago

Vildy

Veteran

I know this sounds weird - and five lb. is five lb. - but some days I feel I look good
in my well-fitting clothing and other days the same clothes are not right. Sometimes
it's attitude: posture. If we feel discouraged, our posture flags. Affects the fit of the
clothes and the whereabouts of those 5 lb. Stand sideways to a mirror and imagine
the weight of the world on your shoulders. Doesn't everything kind of collapse down and protrude out? Does for me. Then lift yourself up and rotate your shoulders up and back
down. Don't you look and feel sleeker?

14 years ago

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I had a thought today - is there something about being more particular about one's style that makes one more vulnerable to the bad days? Not sure if that makes sense, but Friday I wore a outfit that just didn't feel right - it didn't feel like me and I was fidgety all day long. A few years ago, when I was less interested in style, I was more practical and as long as something felt reasonably comfortable and I was dressed appropriately I felt good about my clothes. Now I don't feel good unless it's something I would happily post here and get good feedback about - which means I feel good about my clothes less often than when I cared less about them!

Anyway, thanks for the wisdom and commiseration. The weight thing is a whole 'nother boondoggle that I wish wasn't a struggle for me, but it is. I seem to boomerang between periods of being very health-conscious and exercising and eating well, and then getting tired of all that work and eating poorly and gaining as a result. 5 pounds isn't that much for me, since I am tall and big already, but I think it's more of a case of a changing shape more than anything else. I know what should help - cut out processed foods and exercise more - I am just feeling self-pitying and not motivated at the moment. I guess I shop when I'm bored, or frustrated, or wanting to be distracted - just like I can eat for the same reasons.

14 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Big hug, Laura. It's tough sometimes, for sure, and knowing that we need to do something and even wanting to do that thing doesn't necessarily mean we have the energy for it. Try to be kind to yourself and let yourself take baby steps. Cutting out processed foods and exercising more sounds like a huge, insurmountable job to me...but going for a ten minute walk tomorrow (and the next day, and the next) and choosing salad instead of a sandwich is a lot more do-able.

I think you are completely correct that being more style conscious also makes us less satisfied with "not-quite'right" outfits. Your standards are higher than they used to be and your eye is excellent; it chafes (literally and metaphorically) when nothing in the closet fits your inner fabness!

You will get there. I know it. Blame the store, not yourself, and enjoy the outfits that give you lots of pleasure, while thinking about your next move.

14 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I blogged about this and it's very frustrating! There is a significant size gap between an XL and 1X (or 14 regular and 14 plus). I hear you, Laura. I have a few clients in this size and its driving us batty. Throw in the fact that you need a petite - and it's about the hardest size to fit.

It also depends very much on the brand. Better luck next time. Hang in there.

14 years ago

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