Hugs to you. Sorry that people say stupid things. You are beautiful. I hope you will be feeling like posting soon.

I have no idea what he's talking about. I hope your health gets better soon!!

Oh Ramya, I wrote a huge response which turned out into preaching and deleted it.

I am so, so angry!

The bottom line is - you have your set of values, which you obviously share with your husband. The moments like the one in Amsterdam are what living with someone special are about and to be honest, not everyone experiences that. Knowing that you DO have that level of closeness and appreciation from someone who IS special should rule out every other 'close personal' because they see things from their limited perspectives and do not know your day to day life, nor what you face. IF that should matter at all. Comments about what you look like are such gross stepping into your privacy that I don't know how to tackle it. How does that affect that 'close personal' personally to allow himself such indiscretion?!? And what is conventional beauty anyway, what makes him an expert in the area and more importantly - why should we look conventionally beautiful? To attract the mate? To be a decor in our close personal's lives?

You know what, on top of being beautiful your way, I admire your attitude immensely. You started a life in a culture so new to you, that people can sometimes lose from sight how difficult it is to get on your feet anywhere new, let alone so new! It's not about unpacking a suitcase and getting on with the life at a different location - it's getting all those mundane things done and familiar with from registering at the local council, learning how the public transport system works, how locals behave in the shops, do they queue at the bust stops, the climate, what to wear in the new to you weather (yes, that too!)... but on top of it all you travel, you are getting to know Europe, grab the life and make the most of it all. Don't forget that.

As humans we're wired to hear negative comments much louder than positive ones. I once heard we need 5 good things to offset 1 bad, in my case the ratio lis probably worse, but facing nasty comments like this is always a good time to remind ourselves what, who and why something or someone matters.

Thanks every one. There is so much wisdom here.
Gaylene!!! Love it!! Lets take over NY

Ornella: You put my anger in perspective. That was what was bothering me. I didn't ask his opinion. I didn't need his view on my looks. And his views shouldn't matter to me. But I felt betrayed. I am more than my looks. I think I am more annoyed at myself for letting his opinion matter.What you said about about good to bad ratio is true to me too. I

Ramya, you are not conventionally pretty, but you are extraordinary beautiful. Remember that. Conventionally pretty is boring. Frankly, I can't figure out what those conventionally people really look like. No character, no charisma. Not like you at. all.

I'm sorry that you have health issues, and I hope you'll feel back to normal very quickly. Big hug!

That person is not worthy of being a friend of yours. Not even an acquaintance.

Having met you in person I can honestly say you're amazing! Don't let others talk you down. And don't be mad at yourself for feeling angry - that comment was not alright and you have the right to be.

I'm sorry about the health issues, I hope you're feeling better soon! Sending you a big virtual hug.

Ramya - I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time, both with the stress and health related issues, and with your self esteem. For someone to say something so hurtful at a time when you are feeling vulnerable is just inexcusable IMHO. I don't understand hurtful people at all.

As someone who has struggled with her weight for the past 20 years due to a chronic health issue, I can completely relate to how it affects self esteem. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at myself in such a negative way, even to the point where I would say mean things to myself OUT LOUD. It has taken me a long time to like myself and much of that has come from realizing I DESERVE to like myself, if that makes sense. One time I had a co-worker from a past job say "you'd be so much prettier if you lost some weight" and I promptly replied with "you have no idea if my weight issues are related to a health problem or not so maybe you should keep that type of comment to yourself". She never apologized but I felt better for saying something.

We are NOT our looks. We are NOT our weight. We ARE our souls and our hearts. Who I am as a person, how I treat others, how I approach and deal with life's curveballs, how I behave in my relationships, how I'm raising my son - this is what's important to me.

sometimes there are no words....so just know that we here at YLF are sending you a giant HUG!

Sorry that you are not feeling great, ramya. I totally understand how other people's negative comments can hurt deep. Hang in there!

OK wait .... Who on earth says something so stupid to a girl I believe is very beautiful??!! Ramya ... You know toxic people should have no place in your life or heart. What's wrong with the world?! I am boiling for you .... Hang on there girl. Mwah xo

Now let me read the other posts.

Ramya, people who say mean things are the ones with the problems, you are beautiful and don't allow anyone to make you think otherwise x