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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

When your wardrobe isn't working

fathenry

Veteran

Do you run into a bunch of wardrobe issues when you are trying to run out the door to work in the morning?

Very recent weight fluctuations, not having the undergarments at the right time and various mishaps with not being able to pick a good outfit combo (I discover a flaw with the clothes or problem with the outfit) seem to happen every day.

Even in the last 3 week my pants are tighter. I end up late and leaving the house with some unattractive or uncomfortable outfits going on.

I can't figure out if I'm either not buying the right clothes for the life I live or just need to spend more time in the morning to allow time for so much trial and error.

How do you avoid this issue and is it something you work at or is it easy for you? Then add to it that my hair is looking terrible and I just feel a mess.

I'd appreciate learning how you overcame this or what you've learned. It is so depressing to go to work feeling less than confident.

Dressing

26 replies

Latest reply was from fathenry

DonnaF

Veteran

I check the weather forecast and do a trial run by at least the day before. Putting things together on the bed is insufficient since proportion problems may not show up; I generally need to put them on, including shoes. Maybe you can look up the seven day weather forecast and choose five outfits over the weekend? I only work part time, but if it were daily I would take pics of outfits that work so that I would have a record of Fast Fall Back Outfits. Actually, taking pics of all your proposed outfits helps in figuring out whether they work.

Maybe you can take pics of various items and make notes of which ones are for bloated days/weeks, which need a special bra or cami, etc.? Or shoes that look *off* with a particular skirt, pants, or dress so that you don't keep trying to make them work?

I absolutely try not to leave anything to chance in the morning; there's too much room for error. It is all I can do to remember to pack and take my lunch. All else is extraneous.

kellygirl

Veteran

This is what motivated me to create a capsule. Some days my planned outfits just don't work or I'm not feeling it so I decided to create a capsule as a default. If I can't make something work, I have some thing tried and true to fall back on. It took a fair bit of work to come up with a capsule that I liked but it's a relief having it in my back pocket for those days where I can't find anything to wear! I highly recommend taking the time to put together a capsule--trying it on and taking pics if you can to make sure you like it.

tulle

Veteran

Probably every woman here has gone through what you describe; it's no fun. I rarely have to dress quickly in the morning these days, but like DonnaF I would suggest that you take a little time on a weekend to put together a couple of no-fail outfits you can depend on--maybe one for warm, dry weather, and one for a cooler or wetter day. Keep trying things on until you can look in the mirror and feel pulled together and confident. Check for fit and comfort, make sure there are no stains or other problems, press anything that needs it, pick shoes that work, and then hang the whole outfit together so you can simply reach for it if nothing seems to be working one morning. Just making up these two outfits may show you what you need in your closet: those wide-legged white pants in another color? A lightweight jacket or two? Tops that skim over problem areas and look good without a third layer? Shoes with a blocky heel or platform to make you feel leggy? Then you shop for those items that will work the magic for the body you have right now. I still need to do this at intervals myself, so I really wish you the best, fathenry.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh! We haven't talked about the FFBO - fast fall back outfit - in a long time here! That's a YLF invention. A few easy outfits, pre-formulated, for when things get too busy, etc.

JAileen

Veteran

Wow - such great advice. Yes, of course I've had that experience. Many times. What about a dress or two that are forgiving of weight fluctuations, and then figure out in advance which shoes and other accessories make a good outfit. These would be FFBO that Rachy mentioned.

Jane

Veteran

Love the FFBO. I definitely have days that need those! I like to plan ahead and try and think about my outfit for the next the night before. I find ironing on a Sunday evening really helpful too, as it helps me to think through new combinations and think about those items I've not worn together before.

lyn67

Veteran

That are the FFBO invented for!:-)

Anonymous

Hi Fathenry. I have endured every single issue you mention .... pre-YLF.

My closet was a mess. I was buying for my imaginary climate and life style (especially climate). Sales and impulse buys meant I had a great wardrobe, but zero coordination. And I had to deal with weight fluctuations. I can't say I am perfect, but my closet has improved to the point of being very workable.

This transition did not occur overnight or even in a single year. It took several years to accomplish, but each year marked one new achievement. I'll have to go back and review some of my older posts for the specific steps I took.

For now, my best advice is plan your outfit the evening before. Lay out everything from your lingerie to your shoes/purse. If something doesn't fit, or if it is subpar, remove it from your working closet. You can just put it aside for now. The important thing is to determine what you have in your closet right now that works for you. That is your starting point. You an do this.

Sisi

Veteran

It used to happen to me all the time! I think you just lack some essentials and the right undergarments, as you say. With a small number of simple pieces of clothing you can put together some FFBOs. This is what I did at least. Mind you, my FFBOs were not fabulous but just decent: blue pullover, blue jeans, cognac booties / beige pullover, black pants, black booties / white blouse, red jacket, blue pants, blue ballet flats. But it is liberating to get dressed in a minute, without too much thinking.

I also realized that hair and hands have a huge impact on how I feel. If I am wearing a very simple outfit but I have freshly washed, good-smelling hair and manicured hands I feel fab! Why do you say that your hair is looking terrible? And, lastly: I am happy to see you, and Henry, again.

Mainelady

Veteran

If I start my day feeling frenzied, that feeling is hard for me to shake for the rest of the day. I identified that the most frequent cause of that frenzied feeling was needing to put together an outfit and finding my original idea didn't work. Ugh!
Now I plan ahead. After looking at the long range weather forecast, I put together 3-4 outfits on Sunday afternoon to have ready for the week. I then have a little breathing room to put together a couple of other outfits during the week. At the very least, I plan my outfit the night before and have everything, including accessories, set out.
I do also keep 2 FFBO ready: one dress with a jacket, or cardi, and one sweater, scarf and slacks option.

Scarlet

Veteran

I would echo what others have said about FFBOs and would add that in the past few years for me, where I was strained both for time to dress and time to shop, getting dressed in the dark, even, I started to get very simple in my dressing habits. I tried to choose more classic clothing that combined well, and having a couple of outfit formulas to fall back on that were suited to my lifestyle. Also posting outfits to the forum is helpful because if they get good feedback, having the photo helps me remember I can just throw the same combination on again.

Weight fluctuations can be very frustrating and sneak up on us. I think that is why some women weigh themselves every day. I personally don't like to do that, but I believe it works for some people.

Buy more undergarments if at all possible so that you aren't a victim of the laundry cycle.

Also, try to shift your outfit creation time to some time besides the morning so you are not stressed and rushed.

ETA: Also, what is it about your hair? Would going to a stylist help you sort it out. I feel you. Hair is very important to feeling good.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I like the FFBO idea and use it a lot. The important thing is to try on the outfits ahead of time and make sure everything fits and feels right. First try them on without a mirror if necessary so you don't immediately start focusing on something else (like hair) ;-). Once you "feel" good, then go look in the mirror. I find if I just lay things out the night before that sometimes when I actually put them on I may not like the way they feel.

I would also figure out what it is about my hair that is bugging me and then take steps to correct it - and that is probably a priority over the outfits. I like to do my makeup before my hair - I don't wear a lot of makeup, but somehow my hair always "looks" better (to my eye at least) when I've done my makeup. Probably just psychology at work there.

Sara L.

Veteran

Lots of good advice here. I pick out my outfits the night before, including undergarments. Like texstyle, I put makeup on before doing my hair, but that's because I'm trying to let my hair dry a little before blow drying it. Has it just been too long between hair stylist appointments or are you unsatisfied with your current hairstyle and looking for something different? I would make getting my hair issues fixed a priority. At least for me, my hair has a big impact on how I feel during the day.

Chris987

Veteran

Lots of great advice here. For me the most important thing was laying the outfit the night before. During my working career I was usually up and out the door quite early and it made things so much easier if I had already decided what to wear. I did it at night as part of getting ready for bed. Al the other advice about taking some other time during the week to plan overall is great too. Better to do your trial end error when you can spend a little time on it and not feel stressed. I also what Sterling said...if you find your wardrobe is not working for you even with planning ahead every week, then embark on improvements but it's a journey that can take quite a while.

Anonymous

Great advice here and we have all been there. I would start with the hair. Go get a cut/shaping that will be easy and quick for you to manage , maybe refresh your hair products too. Then the basics like underwear, a good bra and go for a fitting.
Weighing myself every morning helps eliminate weight fluctuations., but those can be a huge factor in wardrobe malfunctions. When needing to hurry in the morning, it is helpful to lay out everything at least the night before. Washing undies when you take them off at night and hanging to dry can help keep a clean supply.
It helps me to keep some kind of record of what outfits I have liked, photos or even writing them down in a notebook. Dating the outfit helps too. I regularly look back to see what I was wearing the year before in that month for ideas. Wishing you fun with this.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Bern there done that. I swear by wadrobe caspules and putting together a weeks worth of outfits.

I also only keep what i love for my life and lifestyle.

Get some type of adult beverage and clear a few hours ir a day and go through your wadrobe. Be ruthless about what you want to keep and what goes.

JuniperGreen

Veteran

I LOVE this thread and have definitely been there... and so interesting to hear how common this "rut" sounds. I sympathize!!

Maybe review Angie's style goals posts for some inspiration - I did that recently to identify the style goal adjectives that resonated with me so I could more carefully target my wardrobe acquisitions and choices.

Also I recently got a standing hanging rack to pull clothes OUT of my closet and pair outfit combos on the weekends as I do laundry, essentially laying out potential outfits for the week. So first thing in the morning, rather than confronting my whole closet, I get to review this quasi-capsule which makes the outfit choices FUN not stressful. My plan is to refresh it each week (which will also help me more quickly identify orphans and other wardrobe needs).

fathenry

Veteran

You ladies are so kind and generous with your advice. My eyes are filling with tears reading this and I'm at work so I will have to go through it again more carefully tonight. Thank you.

The Cat

Veteran

My brain works very slowly the first couple of hours after I wake up, so this is a bad time for making decisions. Therefore, I plan the next day's outfit, including accessories, before I go to bed. If in doubt about any of the items, I'll try them on.

Other tips I have found useful:
- In your closet, only keep clothes that are ready to wear (= clean, ironed, no missing buttons, no holes, etc.) and appropriate for the actual season. And organize the content of your closet, by items (all trousers hanging together, all jackets together, etc.) and/or by colour. This makes it easier to see what you've got to choose from.
- Put your clothes on hangers straight after you have taken them off, so that they retain their shape.
- Set aside a certain time at least twice a month for ironing and repairing clothes.
- Buy some new underwear (comfortable as well as stylish) for the size you are now.
- Get regular good haircuts, and ask your hairdresser for tips on quick and easy styling.

Paula

I am still a work in progress in this are, but have made great strides....Here are a couple of things that helped me. First, deciding on where I wanted to place my focus. (I couldn't tackle everything at once:) I started with my hair. It's taken some time (probably over a year) to find the right style and stylist, but it has made a big difference in how I feel about my appearance. I knew I was on the right track when people complimented me on my hair, I liked how it looked myself, and it was easy for me to care for. Additionally, I've focused on paring down my wardrobe to "favorite" items. I haven't given everything else away, but I've noticed what I feel good in, thought about why, kept those items in my closet and then, like others have suggested, started making "outfits" with them. I think what I want to emphasize is to consider where you want to start and to take small steps toward that first, so you can get some "traction" going. And look for the fun in it along the way!

Julie

I often feel this way too, you are not alone! This is one of the reasons I started lurking and then joined YLF. I still often feel like my outfits are not quite right, and don't usually have the patience or time to try things on and get sorted over the weekend. But I have worked on clearing out clothes that didn't work anymore, and relentlessly removing stuff that was making me feel constricted, frumpy, or just off. Having less to choose from, but a higher percentage of stuff I really like, has totally changed the way I look at my closet.
Also, I think someone said this above- take pictures! Even if you don't want to post them, I find I see things differently through a photo, and can sometimes more easily identify why I feel off in a particular outfit..
I'm sorry you are not feeling your best, I hope some of the advice from the forum helps you sort things out!

minimalist

Veteran

Oh, yes.

YLF has gotten me to try a wider range of silhouettes, which resulted in having items that don't all play well together.

So for a while I've been rotating capsules, keeping only a small amount of clothing in the closet. This requires a few hours of work every time I shift things up (including laundering items to be put away), but pays off in so much ease of mind. If a garment doesn't feel great, it's not in my closet.

This works for me bc I don't get bored at all by repetition in my wardrobe; all my creativity, curiosity, and excitement gets channeled into other aspects of life. But if you need more variety, perhaps rotating capsules more often would satisfy?

fathenry

Veteran

Thank you all for such insightful suggestions. It seems like you decided to prioritize this aspect of your life and spend the time and effort the get this together. So many good ideas:

-The creation of the fall back options
-Getting rid of what I don't wear, even when the closer is empty and I haven't had it that long
-Preparing the clothes ahead of time and really examining them so there isn't an unexpected problem like a spot or torn hem. Actually trying everything on.
-Buying more of the right undergarments
-Setting up a time to iron
-Creating a capsule not just for travel but for home
-Figuring out my hair, it is $175 every six weeks to keep it looking great, I try to stretch it out because its more than I can really afford. Plus the shampoo and conditioner are $40 for both so I tried switching.
-Changing my attitude - this takes effort, time, and maintaining everything and not just shopping (the fun part)
-I have spent at least $1500 in the last 5 months (that's a lot on my budget) on clothes but maybe some don't work together or they are not the things I need every day. -So making a plan, like a capsule might be a better solution.
-Somehow keeping track of the outfits and talking photos, seems daunting
-Forgiving myself for the wasted money & mistakes

I really appreciate the advice, I'm going to try and make this work. Thank you again.

Anonymous

I absolutely know you can make this work for you. You got really good advice. Prioritize what you think are your starting points and begin. You can tweak your plan as you go along. All plans must be flexible.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

You guys are great. I'd never heard of a FFBO, but reading through this, I realize that they are a huge part of my problem. My weight fluctuations, with a couple exceptions like the last three weeks, have all been in the direction I want them to go, but still, pulling on the dress I "know" will look good and realizing it's all kinds of baggy is a bummer. I look in the mirror, expecting a little boost, and get blech. I need new FFBOs--the old ones have failed.

In theory, my closet is organized the way the Cat describes, with skirts together, pants together, etc. I use those multi hangers and sort with them, so long sleeved white blouses/shirts on one, dressy shells on another, etc. So in theory, it's organized. But in practice, I have piles of clothes everywhere--old, tired things I'm giving away or taking to the animal shelter, others that I'm sending to Thredup, newly ordered clothes that didn't work and have to be returned, new things I'm undecided on, old favorites that I'm looking forward to getting back to (like I'm wearing today), new clothes in "motivational" sizes (like the sweater I'm wearing was).... I need to do a thorough clean out like LeDonna says, and then find a system to help me get on top of this. What do you do when there is so much "churn" in your wardrobe? Do you have a system to keep it all straight?

fathenry

Veteran

Hi fashiontern, churn is a good way to put it. Maybe we can help each other with this.

Thank you Sterling, the encouragement really helps. I have time to get started this weekend.