when you don't know how to dress - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

when you don't know how to dress

always trying

Veteran

When you are not to sure how to dress for a function, how do you figure out what to wear? I think it best to be a bit overdressed than being too casual. Last spring I attended a luncheon type affair where men were all in either suits or sport coats, and most wore ties. most of women were in dresses like more basic daytime dresses with heeled pumps, or heeled sandals. There were a few dressy trousers, some blazers, and a few drapey cardis, etc. One young woman-like late 20's came in a very nice outfit, drapey blazer, heeled sandal booties, and jeans-regular blue denim skinnies. I wore a pencil skirt, silky t and a blazer, with heeled pumps. Do you find blazers or jackets more dressy than cardigans?

I feel that unless an invitation states casual, or I am sure it is going to be quite casual one probably should not wear jeans. However this does not rule out black ones if the top one is wearing covers the back pockets. Good black jeans worn like this can be quite versatile IMO.

Dressing

17 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

Adelfa

Veteran

When I'm not sure, if I possibly can I talk to someone who has more knowledge than I do about what will be worn. More and more it seems like anything goes. I think it would depend on the particular blazer/jacket/cardi re: which is the most dressy.

Anonymous

I lost my post in an I-Pad freeze-up, but will try again. Long ago the wisdom was to try to dress either a bit more dressy or a bit more casual than other attendees. Maybe the young woman in jeans was doing the more casual version. To me most cardigans= lounge wear, so I'd definitely go with a jacket. An exception are the very long duster type cardigans, but to an event like this, if I chose to wear dark denim jeans, I'd definitely wear the nicest blazer I had.

Bijou

Veteran

This is an interesting post because jeans are becoming far more acceptable to wear in many situations. When there is no dress code, or the dress code is casual or smart casual, I think jeans are appropriate. However, personally when in doubt, I prefer to be overdressed, but in a understated way. This is the appeal of the little black dress, it works in most situations.

minimalist

Veteran

"If you're wearing a skirt, then your black $designer cardigan. If you're wearing pants, then definitely wear a jacket," said someone I was accompanying to a casual event in a refined setting. Blazers/jackets are *generally* more refined than cardigans are, yes.

Also, what Bijou said.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think it is hard to generalize because so many factors come into play. A pricey designer cardigan made from a luxury fabric vs. a fast-fashion jacket from Forever21? An older woman in standard jeans and flat shoes vs. a young woman in of-the-moment cropped jeans, caged sandals, and a silk top?

I think every woman is entitled to set rules for herself such as "No jeans FOR ME if the men are in suits and ties", but I'd hesitate to apply them to others. "Dressy" is a pretty slippery concept.

Helena

Veteran

My personal preference is to be slightly underdressed, but that is just me ... I feel it stands out less. And black is the hero of uncertain dress codes!!! If in doubt, where black, it seems to morph to fit the dress code somehow.

catgirl

Veteran

I have learned that I need to dress both for myself/my style and for the level of formality required. So I try to find pieces that suit different occasions but still feel like me. Feeling confident is the best accessory.

At my high school reunion, most were either in black cocktail dresses or skinny designer jeans and blouses. I wore my black leather skinnies and a navy Vince tunic and felt just right.

Style Fan

Veteran

If I am uncertain of the dress code for an event then I would not wear jeans. And I wear jeans a lot. I would probably wear my best black pants (I currently only own one pair) and my Hugo Boss brown blazer with a seasonally appropriate T shirt underneath. Hugo works in a lot of situations and looks understated but interesting. I love Hugo. He has been in my wardrobe for over 10 years. Sorry I am going on a tangent.
This is for an event that is work related or a funeral. If I was going to something that was more of a social event then I would dress completely differently.

Ooh is that silk

If I’m not sure of the code, I always go with layers. So, dressy jacket, statement jewellery, more casual top, smart dress or trousers underneath. Then, if I am way off, I can do a quick recce and slip off a layer or put an accessory into a jacket pocket.

Unless I’m pretty certain I know the dress code, or I know other people attending are wearing jeans, I wouldn’t wear them to a formal event. I don’t have the savoir-faire to carry them off in a ‘yeah, I look fabulous in anything’ manner!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Una and the others. I'd rather err on the side of being slightly dressier than others than underdressed. Lesson learned from one occasion when my husband told me "jeans will be fine" and all the women were wearing dresses. I was very uncomfortable.

If it were really that unknown, I'd probably go with simple black trousers, heeled booties or sandals, a silk tee or top, and one of my signature toppers -- jacket or blazer.

Anonymous

If I'm not sure of the dress code, I dress up. It's always okay to look dressier than everyone else, but embarrassing not to be as dressed up as everyone else. And, FWIW, even though I work in a very casual office, the Powers That Be in the District office have recently told us that we have to dress "business casual," which by their definition means no jeans. I'm rather miffed about it because I know how to create smart casual or business casual outfits with the right jeans, but I have to go by what they tell us. So when in doubt, ask. If you can't ask, dress up rather than down. You'll never be sorry.

kkards

Veteran

when in doubt, black ponte knit 5 pocket pants, knit shirt and blazer....it's a look that can be interpreted anyway......

rachylou

Veteran

I'm in Northern California. This means being somewhat underdressed is always more appropriate than being overdressed. Other places, I'd lean the other way.

But you know, I think appropriate style can be harder than appropriate formality... And style can heighten or lessen the impact of formality. I wear suits for interviews, but not banker blacks or greys or navy's because I'm in tech. People have said to me don't wear a suit, but what they really mean is don't be a stiff. They want you to be formal and dignified, just not repressive.

...That is, I think the answer is to think about what is needed...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Rachy said: "...I think appropriate style can be harder than appropriate formality..."

I can see the truth of this because of the need my wardrobe has to adapt to a disparate group of "audiences." Some are more arty, which requires creativity and uniqueness more than dressiness, per se. Some, like my neighborhood ladies, are more conservative but still relaxed/casual. And then there's the whole radio station/rock show thing. And the Texas ranch thing. No wonder I have a large (by many people's standards) wardrobe.

But it can be an interesting challenge to figure out which "audience" to dress for when the occasion is not in your usual routine. In that case, I usually choose an outfit in the modern classic realm but make sure to include something that feels distinctly "me" so that I feel fab. Hence my description earlier of black trousers, moderate heels, top and jacket. I think that kind of outfit can go most anywhere.

Anonymous

I have different audiences to dress for as well, and think that Janet's suggestions are really good. I always look for pieces that are versatile. You can do a lot of things with black trousers, or with your version of black (navy or gray, for example) and with the other pieces Janet suggested.

MsMary

Veteran

Some years ago a colleague of mine made an offhand remark that has really stayed with me: "I'm almost always the most dressed up person everywhere I go -- and I'm okay with that!" I've decided to adopt that statement myself, so I am almost always the most dressed up person everywhere I go, and I am indeed okay with that.

And yes, generally I definitely find blazers more dressy than cardigans. However I also feel like blazers tend to say "business" more than "party" or "social." So I'm more likely to wear a dressy cardigan than a blazer to a social event, especially in the evening.

DonnaF

Veteran

I'm thinking of DD, a 20-something, and how she has to walk a finer, more difficult line than I. She's short like me but with more fit issues, and frankly a lot of Petite clothing is too stodgy for her taste. And don't get me started on the sleaziness of Junior clothing whose prices she likes! Mama's nag is that *dressed up* does not always equal *club* wear and "That is too tight/too low/too short or two or three of those offenses."

I suppose I may wear inappropriate footwear at times due to my fussy feet, and wear outfits others may consider age inappropriate . .and refuse to dress all corporate and Big Law cuz I'm not . but generally I believe in over rather than under dressing. I guess that sounds contradictory?