When You Can't Wear Denim - YouLookFab Forum

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When You Can't Wear Denim

LoriFLA

When it comes to casual dressing, 99% of the time denim makes up a part of my outfit.

I have a monthly event -- book club at a country club -- where I cannot wear denim and coming up with outfits that aren't too dressy, or too boring, is a challenge. I'm not a member, I just tag along with a friend to the club. I look forward to this event and while it may be challenging, I have fun planning my next outfit.

This month I broke the rules, so to speak, and wore white denim and it was fine. One month I wore a BR wrap dress and I felt overdressed.

Somewhat recently I believe I read where Angie addresses this issue on how not being able to fall back on denim presents a challenge when it comes to casual dressing, or even dressy-casual dressing.

One of my problems is that I keep making excuses to alternate garments. Examples are: No to pencil skirts -- too dressy, too sexy. No to dresses: too dressy and day dresses might be too casual. No to tunics: they make me look huge. etc. It's probably not that big of a challenge. It's a book club for crying out loud. I could easily wear something like a pair of BR Sloan ankle pants and a nice top. A lot of the women are 60+ and wear attractive clothes. I eye a lot of pantsuits. Not office pantsuits but more casual jackets and pants in linen and cotton. In the cooler months there are a lot of black pants with nice tops or sweaters. A lot of the people have an effortless look. It's a fine line, I don't want to look dolled up, nor too sloppy.

Now that it is very warm, I do not want to wear black pants and I don't want to look like I just came from the office. Any suggestions or tips would be appreciated.

Dressing

16 replies

Latest reply was from jackiec

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I actually think this is a genuine challenge and I can easily understand why you are struggling. We had a thread on here the other day -- my mind is spacing out about the title -- but basically, we were describing the situations that still posed the biggest difficulties for us, dressing. And almost all of those were this type of situation: We don't know the people very well so we can't really ask questions, and even if we do ask, the answers are likely to be vague and unhelpful. We can't appear too dressy, but we can't appear too casual, either. We want to come across as one thing....but we also want to be something else (sometimes, the opposite).

I'm glad you described what others are wearing because it helps. So it sounds as if they mostly wear non-denim trousers with a nice top of some kind. And maybe a jacket.

Do you own any non-denim trousers that you like? That might be a starting point. For the summer, how about a fab linen pair? And if you don't, then maybe a skirt would feel less "dressy" than a dress. The Vince Camuto midi tube skirts are pretty amazingly versatile and can be easily "dressed down" or "dressed up" for different situations. And they fit a lot of body types surprisingly well. Plus, they always go on sale.

After the bottoms, I'd be thinking about footwear. A great pair of shoes at the right level of dressiness (or casualness) can really set the tone for the whole outfit.

Then you're looking at a top in one of your most flattering colours -- or a top and simple, easy topper (maybe a linen jacket?) and you're set.

Terry

If it's flattering on you, how about a flared skirt, t shirt and flats? Flared always feels more casual to me than pencil. I own this skirt (or the version from a few years ago) and am amazed at how many slightly-dressed-up events it's gotten me through.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I hear you! I have many occasions like this. Of course, people around me tend to learn that I'm on team dressy, but I act like it's no big deal.

I like the idea of a flared skirt, or a knit dress like the EF dress sported by Shannon, worn simply, with flat shoes. I also adore my cobalt jeans, which could easily be switched out for cobalt trousers for a slightly dressier look!

rachylou

Veteran

I'm thinking of what my uncles and aunties wear: wool trousers (weight varies with the season), button down shirts (turtlenecks layered under in fall and winter), polished loafers. They always look very smart, if extremely preppy. Maybe this basic formula would work for you, improved by a more stylish cut of trouser (like flares) and a more draped top. And lighter colours - country clubs always seem to me to invite lighter colours, going easier on the black and grey.

LoriFLA

Suz and Terry, thank you so much.

Suz, I am very much intrigued by the Vince Camuto midi tube skirts. Great suggestion and I totally agree with you about the shoes. Unfortunately I am not in love with my trouser collection at the moment. I have a pair of black BR Sloan in tall that are hair too long and just look off. I ordered a new pair of navy BR Sloan ankle pants in a regular length and they should be good. I also had a white linen pair in my cart but would like to try them on first. I do like the idea of linen very much. It will fit right in.

Terry, great idea. I am totally onboard when it comes to t-shirts and flats. The WHBM one may be a tad too short to come to knee length on me, but I like the idea a lot.

I also think the Boden Sabrina skirt Angie linked to a while ago would work. Waiting for it to go on sale again…

Thanks again for the suggestions!

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LoriFLA

Beth Ann: I'm with you on the cobalt. I almost bought a pair of cobalt pants this week but resisted! I have a pair of cobalt cropped jeans that I like very much.

rachylou: I'm definitely on Team Preppy and love loafers.
"Maybe this basic formula would work for you, improved by a more stylish cut of trouser (like flares) and a more draped top. And lighter colours - country clubs always seem to me to invite lighter colours, going easier on the black and grey."
Yes! I love this formula. I will definitely keep this in mind while shopping my closet and stores.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That Sabrina skirt would be perfect. I would definitely try that out!

alice

Fastkat, you mentionned pencil skirts as being too dressy and / or sexy, but I immediately thought of a monochromatic dark pencil skirt with boots or tights, and a soft knit to keep it relaxed.

Thinking of this Comptoir des Cotonniers look I guess (the one on the left). Not very spring, I know.

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LoriFLA

alice, I love this look. Beautiful and so chic.

Gigi

Veteran

I think others have given very helpful suggestions, but alice's reply above about pencil skirts reminded me that not all pencils are created equal. You may be able to find a pencil skirt that is not too tight and not made from stiff material. I bought one from H&M in leather that is comfy. It seems to me that the leather would make it more like "going out at night" rather than "going to work." Would something like that work for you?
http://www.hm.com/us/product/16491?article=16491-A

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Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Knit pencil skirts might work, as long as they're not too tight and clingy.

My first thought is pants that aren't jeans - khakis in a fun color or a neutral that's not black, or one of the numerous cropped pants that every store has right now. Then you can style them with either a woven blouse or a knit top and topper. It's pulled together but not workwear or fancy evening wear.

Lisa

Veteran

A great question. I am not much of a skirt or dress gal and wear denim most of the time. When I cannot I reach for trousers, cotton is my favorite because they still have a casual vibe compared to a wool pair that screams business style.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

My gut instict as I read your post was the VC tube skirt. I have worn mine with cons, sandals, boots... you really can do anything with them. Plus they are super comfy!

cciele

Veteran

Yeah, I thought VC tube skirts too! Or how about some track pants (silk or other flowy fabric). Or I really like those BR windowpane pants some Fabbers have.

Aziraphale

Veteran

What about twill pants? I have some army green ones that have the vague look of cargo pants, but they don't have cargo pockets. They are full-length slouchy skinnies, feel very fresh and modern, and can be dressed up with heels and a silk blouse or dressed down with a tee and flats. (I wear Converse Chuck Taylors, but if you're a ballet flat gal, that would work too). Sandals are just as fab. It's what I'd wear if there was a "no jeans" policy and skirts were not an option.

jackiec

Veteran

My fallback non-denim option is usually a pair of black pants. I love the Gap black cigarette pants, or my AE jet black jeggings, or black fluid track pants. I throw on a light draped sweater (short or long sleeved) and I'm good to go. Lots of great skirt suggestions here though.