Deleted - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Deleted

catgirl

Veteran

*

Dressing

44 replies

Latest reply was from Beth Ann

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I cannot imagine the stress you are under right now Una, I want to send you a huge hug.

With regards to your new dress code, I think the key word from your post is uniform. You have to wear clothing outside of your fashion persona in the same way a nurse or police woman does. I would allow these clothes to be your conservative lawyer capsule and save the clothes which feel like Una for your down time.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Una, you have given your answer already -- and you will not be changing your style. Instead, you'll be exploiting a side of that style and exploring how to be a more polished tomboy. In other words, instead of thinking that you'll no longer be a UWP, maybe you can see yourself as moving on a RATE continuum AS a UWP...with more polish for workdays and more RATE for at-home days.

Your Theory blazer is "you," right? Well so will your suits be "you." You'll just want to avoid going too girly and you'll want to keep things modern. You might also want to inject a bit of humour, for example with your tartan jacket or similar (if that sort of thing will fly) or with the pattern of a shirt.

The only thing that I think might have to change a bit in certain seasons is the footwear. In winter, I don't see why boots are not appropriate in Alaska, and after all, winter is more than half the year. But in the warmer months, you might have to find a few options.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

PS also sending hugs....it has been a tough week and you must be emotionally drained.

Inge

(website)

It's been an emotional rollercoaster for sure, Una (I'm so sorry about your friend's husband).
When I first read you got a new job (belated congratulations), I also immediately thought of a few amazing, well-cut suits. Jules makes a great point about the uniform. These suits + tops + footwear & bag, can become your work uniform, and worn individually they might also be able to do double duty for off-work weeks and weekends.

How about pairing the suits with button-downs (you're not the biggest fan of them if I remember, but perhaps you could give them another chance?) and more Una-like tops, and go for an androgynous work look - I can see that working with your style preferences. Footwear: in warmer weather: flat oxfords and slipper flats, colder temps refined and/or tougher flat booties and ankle boots, like Chelsea boots (also love it when trousers are tucked into those, but not sure if that would be OK on the job?).
http://pinterest.com/pin/88875792618927738/

If you like, I can rustle up a set of pins with suits looks I could see work for you?

Hang in there, Una!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Pss...and maybe we can go virtual suit shopping together?

rae

(website)

Veteran

Shoes, hair, and jewelry go a long way! And you can have fun with cufflinks if you decide to do any menswear shirts. Belts, too. Suz makes a great point that the Theory blazer is you - there is cool suiting out there! Don't forget about Etsy; I spied some edgy suiting there recently.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Una UWP paints such a vivid picture of your style and personality, if you had to sum up the aspects of your personality which you will be showcasing in your new role what would they be? Strong, compassionate, fierce, steadfast, determined.. it may help to coin a new moniker from which you can develop your work capsule.

JulieJohn

Veteran

Una, I can't wait to see you invent this side of yourself. I think your friends at work will be valuable style starting points. Then they may help you define your style as it differs from theirs. If I read you right, you are a bit of a rebel.

Gaylene

Veteran

Una, you've got a lot going on in your life right now and it's OK to let fashion take a back seat. As long as you can can dress appropriately for your responsibilities right now, you are permitted a "fashion break".

I think your plan to create a straight-forward, functional, work capsule makes a lot of sense to help you get through the next couple of months. Even if the capsule veers towards practical rather than stylish UWP/RATE, if you think of the capsule as a tool that lets you concentrate on the other parts of your life for the next few months, it will be worth it.

Even a dedicated UWP needs to put down her sword now and then to tend to others, but it doesn't mean that she is relinquishing her right to pick it up when she is ready to get back to striding through her world.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Just a couple of initial ideas.
http://pinterest.com/ranksubjugation/edgy-suiting/

Thistle

Veteran

You have so much on your plate right now!!! ((BIG HUGS))

So, this is my $0.02 so take it for what it's worth. I would concentrate on the new role and maybe err on the side of caution for fashion. At least for the first year. Yes, it may not be 'you" per se, but if you follow the herd and wear what they do, you can really focus on your work. Let fashion take a back seat while you acclimate to all of these changes.

I am not saying wear banker suits tomorrow, but you get the idea. At least at first. Then, start adding in more RATE or UWP elements. After you have been there for a year or so, know the ropes, and everyone knows how darn awesome you are, then you can stretch your fashion legs so to speak.

Fashion should be fun, not stressful. So give yourself the same break we are all giving you!

unfrumped

Veteran

Hang in there for sure and give yourself some fashion slack!

I think you are already on the right track and I echo Thistle and others.
Some kind of suiting--but great fit and proportions for you--sounds really great. Maybe some suits and some carefully selected separates, where the jacket can be a little more trendy. 2 weeks's worth of FFBO's in the mode of the new job. Somewhere in there you are likely to be able to wear some of the trousers with your leather jackets and other toppers, or wear one or more of the jackets with jeans and t's later on. Maybe the shirts or layering sweaters will be more conservative at first until you get your bearings, or maybe you can use relatively conservative styles but in great colors--cobalts and such. Maybe an interesting or edgy watch or cuff or pendant can add something where you had relied on pattern and cut of the clothes. Ramp up the creativity on weekends or your week "off" as you said, and also use those times to experiment with different looks for work--try-outs in a low-stakes situation really help me hone outfits.

rachylou

Veteran

I have in my head now this question - along the lines of "Mr. Smith goes to Washington - as in "What does UWP goes to Washington look like?"

...Una - what sort of organisation are you representing now, with your new job?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

You've already gotten tons of great advice here Una and not much I can add that would be useful. Just think of yourself at work as Polished UWP as opposed to just UWP. I agree that suiting is probably the way to go.

I also wanted to give you a HUGE HUG. You are going through so much right now and must be feeling completely drained.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I think, when things get stressful, it's easy to focus on wardrobe as a place where you can control what is going on. That doesn't mean that everyone else around you will, though, so go easy on yourself.

There are many amazing suits/"more professional" outfits out there. I think accessories and details are places where your style can come through.

Freckles

Veteran

So sorry to hear about your friends husband. Hopefully it will go as smoothly as possible. Sending warm and healing thoughts to you and your friend and family.

Congrats on the new job too! Whoo hoo.

As a very strict formal conservative suit dresser loaded with protocol for almost my entire work life Im not sure its as severe as you imagine. Once you get your head around the actual things you must wear a lot of personality can be put into it. This is where an excellent clothing designer comes in (yes not the only way but I loved mine).

As with any job just coast for the first while until you figure out if who youre watching clothes wise is the one you should be watching. Remember just because they were promoted doesnt mean thats what the company really wants its execs to look like.

Freckles

Veteran

OOOPS...sorry, no idea why my post went weird.

Classically Casual

Veteran

Is there such a thing as UWP lingerie that can be your secret under your "uniform"?

I'm so sorry for your friend...

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Great thinking CC, Una you could be Xena underneath that strictly tailored exterior.

Ginkgo

Veteran

How would an undercover UWP dress?

K. Period.

Veteran

Big hugs, Una. It is A LOT and mixing extreme joy with extreme sadness is hard. You want to (and are entitled to) celebrate, but when you do, you feel the weight of what is going on with your friend. Don't worry. Everyone understands. You can be both happy and sad. You can be conflicted.

As far as the wardrobe, I understand exactly what you are up against. I guess I would suggest this: You are going to have a wardrobe disconnect between your work wardrobe and your weekend/time off wardrobe. It may take some time, but ultimately I am sure that you will be able to reconcile yourself to it. (Isn't it interesting that as we move up in our careers, we can actually go from no freedom in dress as young lawyers to lots of freedom in dress as senior lawyers and then suddenly find ourselves again with a somewhat rigid dress code?!?) However, even though you will need to be reconciled to separate wardrobes, you don't need to be reconciled to wearing things that don't feel like you. You are just going to have to invest more time in finding them.

I think you need to embrace the pantsuit. They are Una to the core (masculine tough with a hint of feminine) and perfectly appropriate for your new job. You should be able to buy two or three pantsuits and have a full wardrobe if you also buy extra coordinating trousers. I would play up the masculine vibe on these because that is part of what makes them feel "you." Channel your inner Katherine Hepburn when you despair. All those gorgeous pictures of her show her in trousers, done with flair.

You will probably want a few simple layers while you sort things out and find what works for you. Do you have any button front shirts or simple camis to wear under your suits? And by the way, is there anything more gorgeous than those pictures of KH with silky button front shirts and trousers? You aren't required to buy silky button front shirts, but I could see them as a good piece to bridge work and play. Something about silky button front shirts goes both tough and feminine.

You've got a great pair of shoes already. (WHEW!) You've got that all sorted at least. Add more as desired, but I think you should keep most of your shoe money for your fun wardrobe and your commuting shoes. Kick 'em off when you get to work and put on your professional shoes.

You won't be carrying your purse with you most of the time, so you can have some fun with that too.

Don't worry. This is just a different style challenge. We'll break it down and get you situated with a mini-capsule to start with and then you'll take it from there. You are awesome at this. You'll have it all figured out in no time.

(Also, don't read the advice on Corporette.com. Too stuffy New York lawyer. You'd suffocate there.)

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

Una, I'm sure you will sort this out. Remember - I'd hire you any day! Your style suits your profession to a tee. After all, who doesn't want a warrior on their side in battles of justice? The pantsuits sound great for a start. Add some Una shoes, a little jewelry and what else, and you're set.

There are a lot of stress in your life. Don't be too hard on yourself, and take care.

(((big hugs)))

Carla

Veteran

Lots of good advice here, and I would agree with the pantsuit. Beautiful cut and cloth, modern menswear.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

UWP superheroine,

When James Bond wears a tux and still is heroically clad. Batman in his suits is still Batman. You are UWP even in uniform, cant help it. A bit of retro/steam punkish detailing might slip under the radar.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I think you will be able to merge your two worlds. I agree with the others who say that clothing like your Theory blazer will be the sort of pieces to look for; there are some fabulous pants suits out there at the moment:)

Make sure you make some time for yourself - climbing?

Lynne

Veteran

Una, I am sending big hugs to you and your friend. And congrats on the new job! I loved reading all the advice above; as usual the collective wisdom of the YLF forum comes to the rescue :).
After reading all the above I am looking forward to seeing what you come up with; I suspect Angie's list of hair, watch, and glasses will be key in letting your true colours come shining through ;).

ElleH

Veteran

I'm sorry about your friend's husband & the Boston effect, being that you're from there. Virtual hugs from me.

You have good advice already. I'd like to add that black & grey fits your persona. Doing it in your own way like the pinterest that Rae linked to is how you will get to be you. You wont be able to be RATE at work but you will wear the suits your way. Slouchy pants tapered at the bottom with your Theory blazer & other blazers like that. A tie perhaps with oxfords.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

My extreme sympathies for the emotional roller coaster you are on and it makes perfect sense to hold onto your style persona as something you can control. You have received great advice - start out with some sharp suits and as you adjust into your new role you will see where there is latitude and where there is less. And best of luck with everything!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm so excited about these new suits and the next leg of your style journey I can't stand it!

But also hugs to you and your close friends. So tragically sad. xo

12