When to say goodbye - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

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When to say goodbye

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I’m curious to hear the opinions of the group. How many chances do you give an item before you admit that it isn’t working for you? Or put another way, when do you say “Enough is enough! Forget it!”

Sometimes I use a “3 strikes” rule, as in: the color isn’t so flattering, the waist itches, the length is not ideal—-out it goes. But if something just doesn’tfit, that one strike is enough.

Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from The Cat

jussie

Veteran

I usually try it in maybe 2-3 different combinations, then let it go if it isn’t working. Although this is recent, in the past I would hold onto stuff for ages and my standards were way too low.

rachylou

Veteran

Lol. I’ve got this green boucle suit... five more years and maybe that will make 25 years of trying, at which time maybe I’ll give up...

Anonymous

Sigh. I have a harder time admitting I made a mistake. I generally keep the item around for at least a year .... trying different combinations. This means that I am choosing to wear items I don't love when I could be wearing something I adore.

My logic needs work and I am currently in the process of ruthlessly evaluating my wardrobe. I have spent February evaluating and ruthlessly culling. So right now, one wearing can be all it takes to be put in the donate pile. So far, I have not had any regrets.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Oh a LONG time for me. Not quite so long as Rachylou! But yes, years. I don't like to admit I got it wrong and especially in the past 2 years when I've done so much reading and work on trying to choose well! The forum has helped me get rid of some dated or less flattering stuff by giving opinions, all done very kindly

Mainelady

Veteran

In general, I am pretty good about passing things along after doing closet reviews. If I haven’t worn something at all during a season, I have to ask myself why. If the answer has anything to do with color, cut or comfort it goes in the donate pile. Some things I do hang onto, even if I haven’t worn them for a while, because I have a sense that I will circle back to them. If they haven’t been worn in two years, then out they go.

Katerina

Veteran

Generally, it takes me a long time to pass on items, unless it is a matter of fit. If an item does not fit any more, it goes. I buy a few investment statement pieces every year and often get attached to them for various reasons - usually wonderful quality and execution. I keep these pieces for many years. I have difficulties to part with them even if they get dated, the colour does not feel right or the style is off for me. Try to be better at editing my wardrobe, but it is hard. I try to make these pieces work many times. I have many accessories as well - mainly scarves and bags - they stay “forever”, there I am happy to keep them all
Sometimes, I buy very inexpensive items, just to try a style or have some fun. These I pass on pretty quickly if I am not happy with them. Example now: BF jeans for 10 Euro and a pair of faux leather trousers for 5 Euro on final sale. Have never owned any faux leather bottoms and want to see, if I find them comfortable and enjoy wearing them. They seem to be very popular. If I don’t, they will get donated rather fast.

kerry

Veteran

For me it depends on the type of item. If it’s something I should be wearing often - a type of piece (e.g., jeans) that would be a part of my uniform fall, winter, spring, pretty quickly. It’s the items I don’t wear often (e.g., shorter cardigans ) that I might pop on with a skirt (which I don’t wear often) that I have a harder time getting rid of. The items I wear frequently show their flaws quickly. If they don’t hold their own -out they go. On the other hand, I don’t want to spend a lot on something worn infrequently so I’m less likely to get rid of it or replace it.

Toban

Veteran

Once I figure out why it isn’t working I’ll move it on. I’ll keep it awhile if it’s simply that I don’t have the right pieces to go with it (eg right top for a skirt) or until I diagnose the problem.

Sisi

Veteran

I try 2-3 more times and then I give up. But since I keep clothes forever, occasionally I go pick out the wrong item for an emergency. Useless to say, I then feel unhappy all day.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I try to let it go before the tags are off.

But if I err (and I do!) I usually ask myself why I'm not wearing the item. If the piece is uncomfortable, out it goes. If it's just that I haven't had the right weather or occasion or I don't have the right support act, I'll give it a bit longer before deciding. Though sometimes you just have a visceral sense that the item no long represents your style, in which case, why hand onto it.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Oh a long time.I ve got stuff in my wardrobe from 25years ago.It s kinda more like a museum than a closet.

Colette

Veteran

What Cardiff girl said exactly!!! LOL! But I don't recommend it.

always trying

Veteran

It varies depending on the type of item. sometimes I hang on if it is something I may need for a special event, or until I can find a replacement. Sometimes if I think something is just dated I may put it aside for a while. Recently I have been recycling some old items and they make me happy as I am wearing them in new ways.

Liz

Veteran

Oddly enough, adopting a one in/one out policy has been the biggest help here. This year, I got really serious, asking, "If I buy this, what is leaving my closet?" I didn't expect it, but this has given me the permission I need to get rid of those items that have been on the fence -- if something has to go, it's going to be that. It's often a relief to be "required" to let go.

JAileen

Veteran

Often what happens to me is that I when wear something that so annoys me that when I take it off I immediately put it in the donate bag.

Thistle

Veteran

What JAileen said!

I've been doing this more and more. If I take something off because it bothers me: too short, not flattering, too itchy whatever, I have been more and more apt to drop it in the donate bag than to rehang it.

I also practice the: "If I haven;t worn it in a year, donate it" rule.

cindysmith

Veteran

I generally go by how many times it gets ignored in favor of other garments. Like, if I haven't ever worn it, I don't much examine the reason beyond what first comes to mind when I pass the garment over: a cream colored vest that I pass over because it will get dirty, a top that I pass over because it's a bit tight h I constantly pull it down...
If something gets ignored because it's "too nice" or "too special" or too formal, I find new ways to style it so that it doesn't get ignored. If it still gets ignored for some other reason, bye bye.

So I guess one strike (that is unrelated to situational appropriateness) is too many with me.

Anonymous

I can't describe exactly why, it's more than just wastefulness, but the truly unworn really shamed me. It bothered me so much I started buying only things to wear almost immediately.

I make a lot of returns, but the clothes I donate, even though they may be in excellent condition, were worn so often I just don't want to see them anymore. I might wear a shirt from last summer into the next summer, but I'll be looking to replace it.

IF something does seem like it's not the right thing for me after all I donate it as fast as possible so that someone else can get maximum use.

Honestly, it almost never happens but it makes me laugh if I have a moment of regret for something I donated.

Gigi

Veteran

For me, I usually keep the item around for a year or two and see if I have worn it in that time. I sometimes go through style shifts, and things that I didn't want to wear one year might see heavy use the next. But after two years, if the item still isn't doing it for me, I will likely give it up.

Anonymous

I practice everything from " I hate this top I'm wearing today and the minute I get home it's going in the donate bag" to hanging on to the "better and more expensive" stuff longer in hope that a) I'll lose 20 lbs, or b) lose 25 lbs. Lol. I would hazard a guess that nothing in my closet is more than a few years old, with the oldest being an "investment" blazer that is probably about 6years old.
With each season , I vow to be even more ruthless with culling, and a lot more intelligent and less emotional with purchasing.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I track wears, so I have a very solid idea of what I wear and what I don't. One rule I have, though, is that I need to cull in-season for any particular item. I may very well look at short sleeve blouses in deep winter or hot summer and think, "I barely wear those. When do I ever need anything other than tanks or long sleeves?" but come spring, they're exactly what I need, and I wonder what I was thinking getting rid of them.

Penny

Veteran

Ha, last year I bought something (non-returnable) from a consignment shop that I literally put in the Goodwill pile as soon as I walked in the door - I try to give myself permission to occasionally make mistakes, and better to let go and move on quickly to focus on what works and what I love.

Teodora

I really don't try number of times per se but if I look back and if I had not worn it the season that just passed, it is out. For example, now if I notice an item I had not worn once this past winter, it is out. I put it in a bag and in the summer/fall I take them to the consignment shop.

Christina F.

Veteran

As you can all see by my multiple posts, I take things I haven’t worn all season and try to evaluate why. I’m posting here about it this year to try to develop my critical faculties - so I can articulate why something might not work. Also, to get ideas about how I can style something better and use it more, if it doesn’t need to be passed on.

Dee

Veteran

When I wear an item, if I start consciously and continuously looking for flaws or issues with the cut/color/fit, whether or not I actually find any, it's usually time to move on. It's like I'm hoping to find something wrong so that I can justify letting it go without guilt.

Suzanimal

I just did a major purge. If I don't love it, it goes. If it doesn't fit and I don't alter it in time to wear it that season, it goes. I'm cutting myself some slack on the alterations right now because my sewing machine is on the fritz but I'm taking it to the shop next week.

I used to have a hard time letting go but I let my closet get out of hand and I was miserable. I feel much better now that I've gotten it under control.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

So interesting to hear all these different strategies!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Sometimes I know it's time, and an item goes. Sometimes I know I will wear something in certain situations, which don't occur often, so I keep it. I often go back to things after a break, so I don't have a time limit.

Cee

Veteran

I tried cowl necks a while back before I realised they just weren't right.

I tried to warn the forum but each time I seem to get hit on the back of the head with a frying pan and wind up bound and gagged in the cellar !

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