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When to pare down mediocre wardrobe items

Anonymous

In a reply to a recent thread, I talked about how I have a lot of mediocre pieces of clothing. I try when I purchase new items to only get things that will be winners for me, but sometimes it's hard to tell until they are worn. This can lead to a lot of in and out, which seems very wasteful.

I mused that I have been afraid to get rid of those items for a couple reasons. Financial is one big one. Another is, if I move to a small wardrobe, it puts more pressure on to find just the right thing to fill in.

On the other hand, we end up wearing the things we like best anyway, so just because it's in my closet doesn't mean it gets worn. I decided I need to start wearing the pieces I'm shuffling past to get to my favorites, and then make some decisions about them. Posting a picture is not always helpful because sometimes they can look good from one angle but not feel good.

Today I put on my new Dre burgundy jeans, I pulled out a cotton cami tank with a sheer lace overlay top, both in navy. Within a short time the jeans felt too loose through the waist. And the tops are fussy. The overlay top is wide enough through the neckline that I feel like I need to constantly adjust it so it doesn't fall off my shoulder. The cami keeps ruching up so I have to pull it down over my jeans. I changed out of the jeans since I don't want to be stuck with something that already started bugging me.

Am I being too picky? Or maybe not picky enough when I purchase? Think I will pass along these tops. I want to enjoy all the pieces I own. Not get through the day and want to ditch what I've worn. Where am I going wrong? I'm guessing it's at the point of purchase.

Dressing

42 replies

Latest reply was from

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Not sure I can really help, but just wanted to cheer you on... I think writing it down, making a bit of a strategy, will help you on the road to figuring this out.

Good luck, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what others say... as I have my own issues with "too much stuff". sigh.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Perhaps clothes you have to "fuss" with are taking some joy out of fashion? What are your highest priorities for your wardrobe? Comfort? Self-Expression? Quality? I'd start with your own personal list of "closet values" and then snap photos of 10-15 outfits you enjoy wearing.

I know well your dlilemma -- I call it the "curse of the 7s" (cause I'd rate them a 7). Sometimes, an item that rates a 7 can be a part of a better outfit --- you might try some remixing!

I'm making some lists, too!

carter

Veteran

Not too picky at all. In fact, I'd call it perfectly picky. I seem to be doing a slightly better job at returning items that bug me these days. The burgundy Dres went back because the wrinkling drove me nuts, and I wasn't crazy about the feel of the fabric. However, I remain lousy at ditching the 7s (as Beth Ann calls them) that are already in my closet.

Keep going. Keep posting. Maybe eventually you'll rub off on me;-).

Cerinda

Veteran

Man, I hear you. If the issues are the feel of the fit and wearability, you wouldn't know that in the dressing room unless you stayed there for half an hour, would you? So, no, the problem isn't at point of purchase necessarily. I'm trying to school myself to take notes (has a spot, rides up, twists...) in my smartphone; of course, having the discipline to actually push the item out the door is my real challenge.

Hang in there! You encourage me.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Two words: Holding Zone.

Greenjeans

Veteran

FWIW, my ideal is a small wardrobe of interchangeable basics that all fit great plus a handful of special/unusual things.

JAileen

Veteran

I find when an article of clothing annoys me in some way, that I start to hate it. Then, when I get the urge to purge, out it goes. In fact, I took two bags of clothes to the thrift store this morning.

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

This is something I've been thinking a lot about myself lately. Too many things, money wasted, do I really need all this variety in my wardrobe?

For things I've already purchased: When I've gone through the whole day in an outfit, I ask myself how I felt in it. If it's not awesome, figure out what piece or pieces could have been better. Chances are I have something else that works in its place.

For new purchases: when I put it on, it must be an immediate "yes! I love it and want to wear it right away!" Otherwise it's not good enough.

Then there are the pieces that ARE an immediate "yes!" but somehow during wearing they become mistakes - pants that stretch out for one. I don't know what to tell you about those. A place like Nordstrom would probably take a return but most other places won't if the item has been worn (and I feel kind of funny about doing that anyway unless there's an obvious flaw). It's a work in progress for sure.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Don't get rid of anything until you find that piece to replace it. You may find yourself with major wadrobe holes.

Buy things that you love. Have some others tailored to flatter your figure it you think it is worth it.

Liz

Veteran

I'd go through your closet and pull out all the mediocre stuff that you aren't wearing. Just pull the hangars and put those items somewhere else. Your closet will be emptier, but your wardrobe won't actually be any smaller, because you weren't wearing the stuff anyway.

Eventually, you may decide to try it on again, or you may just want to let it go.

Peri

Veteran

I love that...curse of the 7s. The 5s and below are easy to dump, and for me 8 and up is good. The in between things are always the hardest to figure out. In a way, thinking about it like this makes it a bit easier to pass along the 7s, as long as you are doing well with having enough happy clothes to work in your life. Do we want to feel "meh" in our lives? Is mediocre what we want? Looked at that way, it might make it easier to make the decisions.

I like the holding zone idea but for me that can extend for years! I have things that have been holding for over 5. I don't like them anymore but have a hard time letting go. For me a holding zone can be a way to avoid making any decisions at all. I'm sure Angie is much more efficient at it!

I'm going to think on this. For me the hardest are the 7s that used to be 10s. I have a hard time letting those go, but I think I should now.

Chris987

Veteran

delurked, I think you have hit on a great strategy. Wear the things you are shuffling past. Go reread your paragraph...."today I put on..." it explains why those specific items are not appealing to you. Wearing them made it crystal clear to you. Put them in a holding zone right away (as Angie suggested) , but don't get rid of them yet. Repeat this with other items and see what patterns emerge when you wear something, don't like it, and put it into the holding zone. Maybe you find lots of pants where the waistband stretches out after wearing for an hour - the fix might be alterations. Maybe you find you are wearing camis that are too small so a larger size would be better...etc.... Once you get a better sense you'll feel more confident about what you decide to toss vs. keep vs new purchases. BTW this is pretty subjective, you can be as picky as you want !

minimalist

Veteran

Oh yes, Holding Zone. Right now, my holding zone is huge. So many excellent pieces became unwearably, unalterably baggy. I should follow what Liz suggested, by putting it further out of sight. So far I find myself reaching into it, because What Else to Where? and regretting it every time. Like the white jeans (both pairs!) that as Peri said used to be 10s. Washing in hot water and drying on hot only gave false hope: still sacklike, even unkempt-looking.

You're not being too picky! But it's a process, and most of us face limitations (whether time, geography, money, energy, inspiration, or something else) on how vigorously we can engage in that process.

unfrumped

Veteran

Angie is spot on about the holding zone.
And you may also be learning what are deal- breakers vs. normal compromises ( I think the idea that every item can be a " 10" all the time is unrealistic).
Some issues are outfit- specific. I may have a top that works only tucked but not untucked. If I love the color and fabric and If tucking might still be an
option it could go holding zone. If it's tight or itchy then I should toss it.
If your jeans can be taken up in the waist that might be an option. Of if they FEEL a little off but aren't falllinv off and you can wear a flowy top over, you might use them as a place- holder item or put in holding zone to see if you can do without. But if it turns out they just are a poor fit, toss.

Kristin L

Veteran

I like Angie's holding zone as well!

kkards

Veteran

So imo 1st you need to separate the physical fussy from the psychologically fussy. Can the physical be altered? It's easy to take in the waist or add a snap in a button down, if needed. Otherwise, it goes. But, try to see if there is a reoccurring theme-- i.e. You get rid of a boatneck or all 3/4 sleeve etc
If its psychological, i.e. This doesn't feel like me, or this is too fashion foward for me... Then that's worth a holding zone. And a post....Imo YLF is great at helping us figure how to make the "not quite me" items work.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I have another size of the burgundy Dres headed my way as the first pair
seemed too roomy. Now I'm guessing both pairs may end up going back.
UGH!

I use a holding zone too, and sometimes an item comes back to the closet, but not usually. That said, I still wish I could spot some of the quirks of things before I've worn them - most retailers don't take things back once worn and I don't always buy from Nordies (though they are so generous in their return policy, maybe I should). Then there is the hanging on to items because we need/want a particular color to work with other things and can't seem to find a replacement. But if we have a few of these, and a few 7's and a few quirky things....it leads to frustration getting dressed all over again.

Many times I resort back to my tried and true when I feel this way. I buy a couple of my favorite tees in my favorite colors that I know will last long enough to justify their price. And I wear the heck out of them.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Kkards. Distinguish between the items you dislike due to physiological factors (too loose, too fussy, stretch out, too snug, always twist, can't layer) from those that don't feel like "you" or don't match your style aspirations. I think it's easiest to get rid of the former or get them altered (if you like them in theory and alterations are possible). Make notes about the problems or somehow keep track, and avoid buying that type of neckline, that cut of pant, etc. in future.

I also try to keep mental track of the characteristics of the outfits I LOVE and always feel great in. That's important to know, too.

Then you're left with the "not me" or "can't really style it" items -- those you can put in the holding zone and reconsider over time.

Roxanna

Veteran

delurked - I could have written this post (and would have, had you not!) AS you can see from my WIW today, I am doing exactly what you said - wearing things I haven't worn, putting pics up here for input, and then seeing how I feel in them all day. Today's WIW was the perfect example. I haven't worn that skirt in years, but I still love it nad have felt good in it all day. YLF community showed me that it was a styling problem and I need to pair it with a different top.

I love Angie's solution of holding zone too and I will be trying that. I have far too many 7's, as well as things that are perfectly good, which were once my style but are simply not anymore.

Anonymous

Sorry to post and run there.

Elizabeth - I like the idea of thinking strategically.

Beth Ann - I agree with the curse of the 7s. Because I definitely get rid of the lower numbers. But it's not always easy to justify getting rid of the pretty goods. I do like the idea of remixing. And I think that physically fussy or uncomfortable must be moved on due to comfort.

Carter - it's tough for me to give up on those jeans, cause they look so cute. But if I stick with the premise of returning or passing on the physically uncomfortable, it should make it easier. Plus, I want to be able to wear jeans several times before washing, and if they get as wrinkly as yours, I'd have to wash every time. (Some people are bothered by not washing every time, but not me).

Cerinda - I like the thought of taking notes. I'm laughing at imagining myself hanging out in the dressing room that long.

Angie , KL - I've had a holding zone in the past. Sometimes they've gone out the door, sometimes they make their way back in.

Greenjeans - I am getting to the point where the smaller, but workable sounds good to me too.

JAileen - I'm pretty good about moving clothes along. I just don't want to be in the position where things are constantly going in and out. That's a lot of unproductive time, plus expensive.

Anonymous

Linda - I agree with the fact it should be an immediate yes. It is the immediate yes that turns into no that I'm not sure what to do with either.

Ledonna - I think tailoring could save some things. I'll have to consider which ones.

Liz - I will try to go through soon to move things out. It would probably make it a lot easier in the morning.

Peri -you have a good point about former 10s moving down the scale. Maybe analyzing why they've moved will be helpful. I'm pretty good at getting rid of things, so this doesn't need to be a long time project.

Chris987 - I like the idea of considering several items together to see if there is an overall conclusion to reach that could help change what comes in the door.

Anonymous

Amy - yes, there are limitations to the process. It sounds like for you the too big should be permanently gone.

Unfrumped - I agree with a lot here. Not all things can be 10s. Sometimes things can work with one outfit, but not another.

Kkards - yes, the physically fussy is different than other issues. It usually is a deal breaker.

Texstyle - I was debating taking in the waist on the Dre's or getting a smaller size. I actually have a smaller size coming tomorrow in the denim. But I'm not sure I want to bother on the burgundy. Maybe I will just keep an eye out for another brand. I really love the color and could see them working with my wardrobe easily. I also like the idea of finding your favorite style and color and repeat.

Suz - interestingly, there are very few items in my closet that don't feel like me or that are tough to style, but this lace top is one of them. Kind of boxy and a little cropped on me.

Roxanna - I think using the YLF wisdom to help decide can be a great idea. I will have to do that too.

AviaMariah

Veteran

I don't think you're being too picky at all. I can't stand clothing I have to fuss with. I think you should be able to put it on and then forget about it. So those tops would have to go in my world. (And the Dre jeans - are you still decided whether to keep them? I ordered those and just received them today so haven't tried them on. ) That being said - I have noticed that I've worn about 1/4 of my spring/summer wardrobe this year. The problem is that I have a lot of stuff that have been wardrobe favorites in the past that I'm not wearing anymore. So I keep thinking I'll want to wear them again. I'm thinking about having a huge holding zone and only keeping a couple capsules in my closet to try to determine where my comfort level is for wardrobe size. Sorry for the rambling - but this has been something on my mind also.

ETA: I've found that I have to get rid of something the moment I take it off (if it's been bugging me while I wear it). Otherwise, it will go back into the closet and it will look cute on the hanger, or I'll like the color etc., etc. and I forget why I didn't like it until I wear it again. Sometimes I don't even wash something before it goes in the donate bag (ew http://www...) so I don't forget.

Anonymous

AviaMariah - I've decided fussy is going to be an automatic deal breaker, and that I'll immediately move it on so I don't have to wear it again after I forget. I also have items that have been loved in past, but for whatever reason, I'm kind of over. It's harder to get rid of those. I can't believe how much time I've spent trying to get those dumb jeans to work. Silly. The other pair I got I said a quick yes to, and haven't thought about it again. Guess that's a clue to myself I should pick up on. Let me know how yours work.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I'm with AviaMariah - if it's a fail for logistical reasons, like it falls off my shoulder or the waist bags out crazily, I put it in the donate bag right away (although I do wash first, if necessarily, with a safety pin in the tag so I don't forget when I'm putting the clean clothes away).

You can't get everything perfect at point of purchase - some problems don't show up until later. And it's always a balancing act between buying stuff that you know will work for you, and ending up with a really stale-feeling, dull wardrobe where you never take any risks or make changes.

It might help to figure out how many clothes you really want/need - calculate how often you like to repeat outfits, how often you do laundry, how variable your weather is within a season, and then figure out how much is 'enough' for you.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think you hit the nail squarely on the head when you said "It's tough to give up on X..." I'm the same way and that's why "holding zones" didn't work for me. My "holding zone" all too easily morphed into the "forgotten zone" --a place where the stuff I didn't want to wear was out of sight and out of mind.

In my case, what broke the cycle of buying 7s and below was my need to drastically downsize my wardrobe when we moved from a large house to a small condo. I downsized by giving myself set numbers for different categories-- X number of tops, X number of bottoms, X number of shoes and so on right down to socks and undies. Then I dragged out every item in that category and picked my favourites until I reached that set number. What was left in the pile heaped on the bed astonished and appalled me--and made me feel more than a little ashamed of all the money I had spent. I realized I really didn't want any of those items when I had my favourites, but it wasn't easy dealing with the guilt of coming face-to-face with my appalling shopping habits.

There was a bright side, though, because my downsized wardrobe made it easy to see what worked for my lifestyle and what I liked. Getting dressed in the mornings was fun because I liked everything and items seemed to magically work together. I was pleasantly surprised to find I did have a cohesive style and palette; it had just been hidden under a deluge of so-so stuff.

Even better, since my pared down wardrobe fit nicely into my small condo closet, I was determined to practice one-in, one-out. Since I now really liked everything in my closet, the bar became pretty high for something to make it into my pared down wardrobe. It didn't make sense to replace a diamond with a cubic zirconia--even if everyone was going crazy about that cubic zirconia.

My downsizing was admittedly drastic, but the process has made me dubious about (1) pushing my mistakes into a holding zone where I don't have to think about them, and (2) being stubborn about hanging on to any item which doesn't deliver on its promise. It also made me realize, for me, variety isn't related to wardrobe size as much as it is to wardrobe cohesion and happiness.

dakotacheryl

Veteran

What a great thread!

Gaylene just wrote my thoughts so beautifully!!

Roxanna

Veteran

This *is* a great thread. I may try @AviaMariah 's strategy of a big holding zone this year, and maybe even Gaylene 's strategy later on - it's so inspiring!

Anonymous

...another suggestion is to focus on getting great basics and essentials. This is something I still fail to do and I think it's because it's a bit boring to shop for these things. But ultimately, having a backdrop of great basics and essentials probably raises your baseline level happiness with your wardrobe to the point where you can deal with a few fails on statement and wildcard pieces.

Writing this, I think I need to determine what my essentials even ARE because I'm never happy with any of my tops, and it might be because I look better in dresses or tunics.

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