When Significant Other does not share your fashion sense..... - YouLookFab Forum

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When Significant Other does not share your fashion sense.....

christieanne

Veteran

This has come up in a few threads recently (mostly as side comments) but tonight my DH (26 years in October) told me I was on a "trend fest".
I guess buying cobalt blue Tahari shoes last week and then lighter cobalt blue slim leg jean today set him over the fashion edge. Pretty minor if you ask me (and I 'm keeping and wearing them!) but remembering he is wearing the same size and style Levi 501's since 1982 gave me pause. After all these years, it's certainly not a "deal breaker" for either of us, just a passing remark.

Some people are happy with their "uniform" and don't take well to change or even seek it out I suppose. In DH case it's 501's, cowboyish shirts, t shirts, leather jacket and Cons. Occasionally a nice basic vneck sweater. Suit if it's situationally required.

Does your significant other comment on your clothing choices? Do you listen? Are you similar to your partner from a fashion sense or opposite?

General

32 replies

Latest reply was from ironkurtin

rae

(website)

Veteran

My DH and I are not *that* far apart... he is older than I am, though. He says himself that he is more set in his ways. Like yours, he has a uniform of sorts: graphic tee, shorts, zip up hoodie, sneakers - BUT he does have style! Sometimes he will spend a good amount of time selecting just the right tee, shorts, hoodie, and sneakers.

As for my clothes, he knows what he likes - not conservative in the traditional sense, but conservative in that he knows what he likes and doesn't care for it much when I deviate from that. He likes fitted, structured dresses, my jeans with the flap pockets, my shorts, teeshirts, casual jackets. He doesn't much care for my theatrical bent, which only emerges occasionally.

Like you, it's not a deal breaker. We don't keep our opinions secret, and we don't ignore one another - we both like to dress for our mate - but neither of us *always* changes to suit the other. I guess it comes down to a matter of, "Do you you hate this more than I love it?"

Aziraphale

Veteran

My husband and I are usually on the same page when it comes to clothing. We don't talk about fashion all that much (although we both care about clothes and how we dress) but if he comments on what I'm wearing, it's usually positive. One in a while we'll disagree, though. One time last year I came home with a pair of bejewelled wedge sandals, which he called "old lady shoes". He changed his mind once I put them on with my not-old-lady clothes, though.

Deborah

Veteran

Christieanne my DH is SO not into fashion! Having said that he always looks smart and does have a uniform which is mainly jeans and black tshirts Oh and button down shirts for church and going out. He frequently compliments me on what I wear (and notices new items) and will question me if he thinks something is a bit "outt there" like my black and white patterned pants. I do listen if he thinks something doesn't work because regardless of the differences in our style I think he has a good eye so I always consider what he has to say.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Well you know my answer! XP

My DH has very classic conservative tastes. He likes well made clothes that last for years. He tends to dress up at work and wears expensive custom button down shirts and ties. On me he likes solid colors and classic cuts, and is not happy with crazy patterns, faux fur or animal print. He feels he has a much better sense of style than I do. He definitely dishes out the compliments on my outfits, but it's more often for "classic" items like red turtleneck or blue button down shirt that frankly bore me. I like to be more adventurous! Even if I'm dressing in classic items I like to add in a few twists! I sometimes listen to him but sometimes just say "Yes dear" and keep on rocking!

I wonder if the husbands/SO's tend to be more conservative because men are not supposed to be interested in fashion trends and style change tends to happen more slowly for men. My husband has been wearing the same type of boots for over 10 years and just buys the same exact pair or resoles them when they get worn out. It seems to be more OK for men to wear things for decades, and not so much for women because women's clothes from 5 or 10 years ago always look "dated" and you're supposed to get rid of them.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Goldenpig: my husband chose these boots for last year's Christmas present:

http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w.....ourID=2828

....so he doesn't fit your description! the older he gets, the less conservative he gets (although I can't say he was particularly conservative twenty years ago). Although I think in general, what you say is true. Men's fashions change more slowly. I think that's because for most men, fashion is not a sport, like it is for many women.

Anonymous

My husband and I are pretty much on the same page taste wise but he thinks that I spend too much time on fashion. He does have a good eye and tells me when something is working or not.

christieanne

Veteran

I feel better! My DH is certainly not alone in the world.

Funny thing is, he used to work in retail and understands a little about the fashion world and it's ups and downs. He loves to watch the weekly Bill Cunningham vids with me. And he is a visual person - an artist who has a side business in tribal (Afghani/Pakistani/Middle Eastern) rugs and hobby is African Art.
Maybe he gets too much sensory overload and retreats to the uniform. And maybe, ove rthe last two years, I have done the same thing. Sigh.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, my boyfriend and I are very far apart, and it's a source of humor for us. He thinks I'm a kook, but he knows I've also got his number ("if it's brown it *must* be fab!"). He's very good at picking out things for me - doesn't impose. Although, I do refrain from wearing high heels most of the time. I always get the feeling he really doesn't like them. Is that weird?

Fruitful

Veteran

Christieanne, I read this as your nearly-26-year-old husband is surprisingly anti-trend, even though he is young... then you said he's been wearing the same jeans since 1982... I'm confused ^_^

jayne

Veteran

My BF is about 5 years younger and feels like a different generation. But he certainly has his own uniform of awesome jeans, and plaid lightweight cotton button down shirts, and cool sneaker type shoes.

But he is very good at the compliments and I have learned that when he doesn't say something, is when he is really saying something. Luckily he definitely is helping me with my style definition because he will say 'that is so you' and I can see it better myself. he also helps in that he lives his wardrobe and vice versa, no clothes for a life he doesn't lead so I am better able to restrain myself.

Louise

Veteran

Fruitful my first thought was a 26 year old who's anti fashion but I think it's that they've been together/ married 26 years.

My BF is not particularly vocal about my clothing choices either way, though he does love a coffee cream party dress I have and always suggests I wear that if we go out x

fashionista

Veteran

Well in this case I must say he is very supportive and fashionable too. He has a very good sense of wearable fashion and l love the way he gives comments that make my every purchase (with him) worth the money. He has fashionable trendy but classic sense of style and I take cues from him form time and again. Love you darling and thanks for helping me out always!!!

Anonymous

Well our tastes are in much way similar, but he' a bit more conservative. He, as my mum view as the most important issue the figgure flattery, matching your complexion, whike i soometimes like to wear some more fun items.

Meghan R

My husband also wears a uniform: button down shirt, cotton pants, v-neck sweaters if it's chilly, a tie if he wants to dress up, a polo if it's warm outside. Sometimes I wish he'd branch out, but he is so picky about his clothing that it's probably best he sticks to items he knows and loves. The last time we went shoe shopping, we had to visit seven stores! I'm definitely more adventurous, but I'm also trying to let some of his "wait until you find something perfect" attitude rub off on me.

Meredith1953

Veteran

My hubs has lovely very narrow taste. He is basically a surfer at heart (grew up in Palo Alto, Ca) and he wears O'neil surf tshirts, cargo pants or levis, Reef flip flops most of the time. When he has to dress for "business" or formal he has nice sport coats, camel long winter coat, ties, wingtips, button down oxfords. He favors blues, dark greens, burgundy, gray, white and black, Very traditional colors. He definitely is a uniform man. I know he will never tell me something looks good if it is awful but I know he doesn't embrace color and pattern as much as I do. If I am going somewhere WITH him (like a function or a date) then I try to incorporate his wishes into my outfit. Otherwise, I do what I want! To each his own.

JennyAnne

(website)

Veteran

Interesting question. My husband is not at all interested in "fashion" but he does look nice. Polos, button downs, khakis, and yep - the same style jeans he's worn since I met him 11 years ago. He does comment on my trendiness (when I am) and does some eye-rolling, but I know he appreciates when I put in some effort, so as long as I'm not spending exorbitant amounts of money, he's happy. It doesn't hurt when I stick to flattering trends. He's a big reason that one of my style requirements is "pretty."

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My husband is way more into style than most men I know. Particularly since he discovered the world of custom tailoring for his shirts because he is so very difficult to fit (very tall and slim, and long in the torso and arm). He has definitely stepped up his style in recent years, as he transitioned from musician (when we met) to corporate employee, to business owner. He now has a great wardrobe of business and casual options that reflect his personality really well.

He loves the style evolution that I've been on this past year, regardless of how much I've spent. He cheers on purchases that flatter me and have that rock'n'roll edge that he and I both like so much. He likes it when I try new things. That striped tiered Bailey 44 dress that I initially rejected as too body-con is one his favorite things on me, ever, so he is now an enthusiastic fan of YLF and thinks that Angie is brilliant. Which, of course, she is!

So I feel very lucky that this is one of the many ways we are in sync with one another. I sympathize with you ladies who have SO's who are not so enthusiastic, or even discouraging. I've been there too. My ex of many years ago preferrred me in preppy styles and thought I wore too much black. :-/

marianna

Veteran

This has been such an interesting read! My SO and I have very similar tastes and his fashion sense has come a long way since we met 5 years ago (mostly due to my influence, I think). He is a new business owner and wears nice jeans (mostly Gap) and button downs from Nordstrom (that we have tailored to fit properly because is also hard to fit). Honestly, I pick out most of his clothes and it works for us (and makes his life much easier!)

He doesn't comment on my clothing choices much, but he does get frustrated when the Nordstrom.com boxes start arriving daily. He worries that I spend too much. Otherwise, he will only comment if I look especially "pretty" or something that day, but he doesn't say much about my clothing choices, unless I specifically ask.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

My husband is a man of action with few words so I had to ask what he thought of my style and his reply was' you look great but I hate your green trousers', of course I already knew this because of the strange looks he offers when I do wear them.

Ben has a fantastic sense of style with a very limited colour palette (white, denim, grey and black) but it really works for him.

Isabel

Veteran

My DH and I have very different fashion sense. He is very bohemian and loves color. I am very conservative and mostly wore black for two decades. I have started loosening up ...because of YLF and not him. Even my children have noticed I am wearing color and more "interesting" clothes.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

He is noticing your style evolution, that is a good thing. There will be some things that he likes and some he doesn't and it may take him some time to get used to seeing you in new styles.

Emily

Veteran

This is such a fun question! Both my husband and I have a modern classic style personality. He prefers a little edge or something extra whereas I lean towards more basic things. I think I have had more influence on his style than he has on mine, but mostly in terms of fit; for example, I broke him of the habit of buying shirts too big so that the sleeves would be long enough. Those shirts with the ill-fitting shoulders drove me nuts!

In terms of his thoughts on my style, my husband will gives thoughtful, constructive advice on my fashion choices if asked, and I don't always listen. Once I have asked for his opinion on an item he considers it fair game for teasing. For example, when I brought home the yellow blouse I am wearing today and asked what he thought he told me it looked like something for an old lady: "Where did you buy that, Reitmans*?" and then this morning when I was leaving for work wearing the aforementioned blouse asked me who I was and what I had done with his young wife. Such a charmer**...

*http://www.reitmans.com/, skews conservative/mature, but I love them for their consistently high quality basic pieces and petite sizes

**sarcasm aside, I love the guy to bits

machanteuse (Lori)

I have wondered the same thing, and it's very interesting to read the responses!

My DH is a card-carrying Nerd Pride member (LOL) and I hate to say it but he looks the part. He really doesn't care about what he's wearing. His preferred uniform is a solid shirt in dark red, dark blue or dark green, with khakis. If he is doing a school presentation (he does a lot of science volunteering) he wears a white button-down with one of his "nerd ties", his white lab coat, and his khakis - usually with sneakers. I have managed to get him to wear some shirts with subtle plaid/check/stripe prints and sometimes I insist that he has to wear a regular tie, which he hates! He has one suit that he's had for almost 20 years. He hates getting his hair cut and would much rather have "mad scientist hair" as he calls it. Are you getting the visual?

I wish it weren't this way - as I'm walking around the mall or wherever I often notice other men's style or clothing in stores that I wish he would wear. But it's never gonna happen, so I guess I should look at it this way - if he NEVER goes shopping, then I can shop twice as much, right?

He does have opinions on what I wear, and I think he definitely appreciates that I've gone for more figure-flattering choices as I've gotten older. But if something doesn't make sense to him, then he's just going to dismiss it as weird - e.g., when I had a belt over a cardigan in my very first WIW post. He said it just looked like the belt had no purpose because it wasn't holding up anything. If I try to explain he will stop me and say "It's like football" - which is something else he doesn't get, along with all other sports! So yeah, I guess I've given up on his fashion and I just worry about my own! And my kids, but that's a whole different story...

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

It's funny- part of what drew me to my husband was his quirky sense of style. When I met him, he had a wardrobe of funky hand made vintage shirts, quirky hats, and long natural stone bead necklaces that he would wear with worn in Levi's (it was the 90's, people!) and plain white T's. Our first apartment was decorated with his steer head skeleton (to which I added a wreath of flowers- it hung over our bed), vintage furniture and knickknacks and our combined hat collection. My tastes have changed over time, but the core is always still there- I love the funky, artistic, vintage and antique (both in fashion and decor) in eclectic combinations. You would never know what a funky guy he used to be by looking at him now, nor does he gravitate toward those things anymore. Actually, I am hoping that by being around the Flea Market he will rediscover the love that he used to have for the funky and old things.
He doesn't usually say much about what I wear, or my decorating, but I know that it isn't really his taste. He is a good husband in that if he doesn't have something nice to say he doesn't say anything- of course that leads to a lot of silence!

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Mine is not very trendy or fashion conscious, but he does have a definite sense of style and is a bit picky. I never buy him anything except souvenir t-shirts and ties, because he has a hard time articulating why he dis/likes certain items. He wears a suit and tie to work every day, and in general has a bit of a conservative look.

He seems to like the most mystifying things on me -- a cheap white sweater, or a ratty pair of jeans. The key element seems to be that they are tight in certain places, IYKWIM.

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

Fun thread!
My dear husband loves that I love fashion. He has a good sense of what looks good on him and has taken an interest because he knows it makes me happy. He has to be comfortable and does not like anything that feels as if it it trying too hard. He tends to like more classic looks and has a huge outdoors style. I try to help him obtain an urban look when we are out and about. He is open to a point.

My stepson, on the other hand is a huge fashion fan. We have so much fun. He is in Europe right now with a new pair of shoes causing blisters because he could not settle on an athletic looking pair of shoes. Sound familiar?

biscuitsmom

Veteran

My Husband often comments about what I'm wearing and claims to 'love all of my things' yet on the fairly rare occasions he tries to pick something out for me, its WAY different than the types of things I wear....hmm. He likes to wear polos, t shirts, dark jeans and black sneakers usually...I did break him of his awful zubas he wore when we first met (TG) by honestly telling him they did *not* flatter his cute butt!

Makrame

Veteran

My DH will often comment (positively or negatively) on what I am wearing, and will also ask for my opinion on the clothes he buys. He is not up on "the latest trends" so I consider his opinion to be fairly objective in terms of what is truly flattering in the eyes of an "outside observer". Since this is the guy who got me burgundy and cobalt jeans for Christmas, I think he has a good fashion sense.

Diana

Veteran

My fiance and I have completely opposite fashion tastes, but each of our tastes work for us and I think we can appreciate (mostly) the others' taste. He is a very classic, conservative dresser (closet is a sea of blue and white button-downs, khaki pants, suits, and classic Levis). His super casual wear is admittedly schlumpy and I do wish he wouldn't wear ratty tees quite so often! I don't generally say anything though since I know he doesn't care much about trends or fashion and in general he dresses nicely, if boringly.

I think sometimes he thinks my fashion choices are off the wall, but he doesn't generally (as far as I know) hate anything I've worn and he does compliment me often on things he particularly likes. So it's all good.

I hardly ever take him shopping, although maybe i'll try on a pair of shoes I happen to see or something. It's SO CLEAR that he is bored out of his mind with shopping that it makes me feel really bad to subject him to it.

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