When dressing well makes you feel better - YouLookFab Forum

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When dressing well makes you feel better

Bijou

Veteran

Two days ago I went to the dermatologist and we decided to remove a mole off my face. A very simple procedure but he put a large bandage on my face. As I was leaving the dermatologist office, a man walked in and looked visibly taken aback at my bandaged face. I was instructed to leave the bandage on for 24 hours, so the following day I had to go to work all taped up.
To make myself feel better, I decided to wear one of my favourite dresses, and to take more care in styling my hair and makeup. It worked, I did feel more confident and was able to laugh with my family and co-workers about the state of my face. I felt fine when grocery shopping and being out and about during the day.
So the big reveal came, time to take off the bandage and luckily the scab is rather small when compared to my worst fears. I have a busy Easter (catching up with friends and family) and will probably take a bit more time with my appearance to make sure that I feel fab despite the obvious mark on my face.
Does dressing well help you feel happier and more confident at times when you feel flawed?
Wishing everyone a happy Easter and hope no one in the YLF community is feeling blue as you are all beautiful people inside and out.

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

rabbit

Veteran

That's a great story and I wish you a speedy recovery.

It's true that when I am feeling low or less confident I usually dress up and do my makeup more intentionally, and it helps, it's a kind of armor - not just a shield, but a display of strength.

Deborah

Veteran

I like what rabbit said. "A display of strength". Once upon a time I might have simply taken a couple of days of work but now I feel I can confidently "arm" myself in situations like this:)

Happy Easter to you too Bujouxxx

Anonymous

Rabbit said it so well. Looking your best can often mean feeling confident and being ready for whatever life throws you during the day.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Absolutely! What Rabbit said. Dressing up is definitely a pick me up when I am down and a confidence booster when I am nervous. Happy easter to you too

Sheila

Veteran

Bijou, I know exactly what you are going through. A couple of weeks ago I had a similar procedure on my forehead. Lucky for me, I had recently changed my hairstyle to include full bangs and the bangs covered the enormous bandage pretty well. But in our windy climate, my hair sometimes goes every which way. I got the stitches out almost 2 weeks ago and hope the redness goes away very soon. I have made a point of dressing nicer than normal...hoping that interesting accessories would draw peoples' eyes away from my forehead. Otherwise, I just reaize that most people go through things like this every now and then and right now it's my turn.

Bijou

Veteran

Rabbit thank you - it is true, a display of strength is what you need in these situations.

Deborah - I agree that as you get older, you are less self conscious, one of the many benefits of getting older.

Joy & Brooklyn - you are right, looking my best should be a goal for me because it does affect my confidence. Glad that I am not the only one.

Sheila - What a great idea to change your hairstyle to cover up the mark. Most people do go through things like this and are more sympathetic than anything else once they have got over the "What happened to your face!" moment.

Yesterday my 7 year old son lost his top front baby tooth (he looks so cute with his gap tooth smile) - so he is deflecting all attention away from me.

Gigi

Veteran

Yes, I have had it happen where I'm feeling depressed when I get up, but if I take the time to put together an outfit that I like, my mood definitely improves. I hadn't thought about taking extra care on hair and makeup, however. I'll have to try that in the future!

Lyn D.

Veteran

I know I have said this before, but when not myself but my elderly parents were very unwell in recent years, dressing well was extremely important for me when I was visiting them on a daily basis.
Pulled together on the outside although in turmoil on the inside!

Anonymous

Yes, I just did the same thing this week, Bijou, so I'm thrilled to see your post and know that others do the same thing. I took the plunge on a course of laser resurfacing, and the first treatment on Monday left me with a very swollen red mark on my cheek. (This is normal for me as I have super sensitive skin in that one area.) As Deborah said, my younger self would have stayed home. My pre-YLF self might have worn schlumpy 'comfy' clothes because, 'I look like rubbish anyway so why bother?'

Instead, I wore dresses and suits. No one commented on my face, but I got tons of compliments on my dress. And yesterday, when the mark was at its worst, someone asked if I was interviewing. (That did make me wonder if my clothing confidence armour would stretch as far as making a good impression to a future employer!)

Anonymous

It's very inspiring to read this. I'm having cosmetic surgery next month, and I'll be kind of a mess for about 6 weeks. Rather than hiding in the house in my bathrobe, I'm going to put together a recuperation capsule that I can feel attractive in. Who knows, maybe I'll even have a recuperation party! Thanks for your lovely Easter wishes, Bijou.

Brin

Xtabay -- I love the idea of a special recuperation capsule, and of a recuperation party (both things that have the potential to take your attention off any self-consciousness). I admire all of you who use your skills (and I absolutely believe that being able to put yourself together to face the world is a skill!) to help get through difficult experiences.

I don't remember who said this (sorry about that; I am usually better at noting sources -- it could even have been someone from this forum): “Style is a life-affirming expression of your character and spirit, a conviction that you are worth knowing, worth looking at and can present yourself well”.

Personally, I doubt that I have much in the way of style going on. But I do find, as a very shy person, that dressing well makes it easier for me to talk to people, and to smile at them.

Gail

Veteran

What a great way to make the best of things, kudos to you. Enjoy your Easter and stand tall !

Anonymous

I know what you mean, Brin. I'm your basic introvert, but great clothes really bring me out of my shell.

Bijou

Veteran

Gigi - yes hair and make up help too. Kind of wish I could do a hairstyle that provides some coverage like Sheila!
Lyn D - that is a great way of putting it, pulled together on the outside although turmoil on the inside. Losing or dealing with sick parents is one of life's hardest challenges. It sounds like you have come through a very difficult time.
Aliona and Xtabay - best of luck with the treatments, I hope they are highly successful. Xtabay, I think the recuperation capsule is just the ticket. Feeling good about yourself is sure to help in the healing process. Enjoy your recuperation party!

Thank you so much for your lovely comments.

Bijou

Veteran

Brin - dressing in a way that gives you self confidence sounds like the way to go. As an introvert I think your comments are true of me as well.
Gail - thank you. I love Easter and catching up with friends and family.

kimlee

Veteran

Dressing well was vital to me when I returned to work after giving birth to my 2nd daughter. I was still about 30 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight at the time, sleep deprived, and feeling down on myself. My husband sent me shopping to find nice, quality pieces that fit my body at that time - even though he knew I would likely not need them for long. Having great outfits plus investing time in my hair and makeup helped me to feel better, which in turn helped me to care for myself more.

Anonymous

Dressing well always makes me feel better. I'm glad it made you feel better, too!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What a lovely and touching story, Bijou. I'm relieved with you that the scab is small. Thank you for your uplifting and kind words. You are fab. Rock on.

rachylou

Veteran

Clothes are happy! It's all about the clothes!

Hope you feel better soon. Here's a story for you: One of my work children has a bright red birthmark that covers his chin and neck. He says to me one day he always wanted to start a gang and call it the Red Chin Gang, and I was like 'what's that all about?' That's how I learned he has a birthmark, lol. These sorts of things are totally invisible to me.

Bijou

Veteran

Kimlee - what a wonderful husband you have!

Bettycrocker & Angie - thank you for your lovely comments.

Rachy - you must be the best and most fun boss ever. I'm sure your work children all love you.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

It's amazing how much dressing well helps-and how often I forget.

Anonymous

Very illuminating story. I'm thinking that by dressing well rather than going for camouflage, you were conveying that the bandage is not the central topic of your existence and that you have places to go and things to do. There's a kind of brisk forward motion about it that I really admire.

Proverb, "the dogs bark but the caravan moves on"..

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm probably an outlier here, but trying to dress nicely when I'm feeling "flawed" absolutely does NOT make me feel happier or more confident. It only makes me feel worse.

It depends on the kind of "flawed" you mean, though. If I'm feeling run down and sore throat-y, I definitely do not dress up at all. Trying to make myself look nice when I feel unwell is a recipe for disaster. I feel like I will never look or feel attractive again! For me, a better strategy is to dress as comfortably as possible, and try not to think about appearance at all.

In the case of the facial bandage, I can also relate. I've had moles removed off my face twice; one time, off my chin, and another time, off my eyelid. In the first case, having a big bandage stuck to my lower face didn't bother me much, and I dressed nicely anyway -- as if it wasn't there. But having a puffy bright red eyelid was another story. I found it very distracting and I didn't even want to bother trying to look good. I just waited it out, tried not to leave the house, and when I had to, I covered up with sunglasses.

Btw, good luck with the healing process! It doesn't take that long, usually.