Okay, so this is going to be part rant, part question. : )

I have very mixed feelings about fashion. I grew up attending a school where there were many wealthy students, where it was common to get diamond earrings for 16th birthdays and Rolexes for graduations. There was always talk of shopping, jewellery, clothes and fashion. My parents scoffed at this and told me to focus on my studies and extracurricular activities, while looking neat and appropriate.

As an adult, I've worked in quite fashion-conscious industries and in some fashion conscious cities. In Paris, people could be so snobby about fashion that it really put me off. Certain brand names are VERY important there and people can be positively rude about others' style ("Did you see Claire? Ugh, she dresses in such a bourgeois way it nauseates me!") and I have to admit it just made me feel like not making an effort at all.

My boyfriend's mom has been quite insulting about the way I dress, too. On numerous occasions, she's pulled me aside to tell me that I should make more of an effort because her son only likes fashionable women or asking me how I could have such great style when it comes to decorating or even just wrapping gifts but dress so terribly. (All this from a woman who wears heavily-labelled knock offs).

And, don't even get me started about the quest to find attractive, high quality items in Size 16 and how the dearth of these clothes has made me feel!

Anyway, in short, I've often felt diminished, alienated and down-right insulted style/ fashion.

But I have to tell you this. I volunteer at a local foodbank. It's a mix of clients: from mentally ill to highly-functioning people who've just lost their jobs to women who've recently divorced and haven't yet started to receive any alimony to drug addicts to new immigrants. The first time I worked there, thinking i might be unpacking boxes in the dusty storage room, I turned up in neat jeans and t-shirt. As it turns out, my position is interviewing clients to ensure they get the items they need. Everyone there was polite and respectful with me but I couldn't help but notice that the morale was (understandably) low. So next time I came, and every time since then, i made an effort to dress up a bit. Sometimes I wear jeans and a neat blazer with a pretty scarf. Sometimes I wear a feminine (but very modest! No sexy looks here, of course) dress with high heels. Last night I wore new white jeans (bought after Angie's last post on "white bottoms"), a hot pink top with a white cami below (bought after reading Angie's post mentioning white camis), and the my Tazer sandals (recommended by BOTH Angie and Kendall Farr... how could I lose?!). I always sport pretty pink lipstick and a big smile.

And, can I tell you how happy it makes the clients that I make an effort to look nice for them? Some of them comment, many of them don't, but I can absolutely see that it gives THEM a morale boost when they see that I think they're worth dressing up for. Their obvious appreciation touches and humbles me.

Too often, fashion can be about about impressing others, flaunting what we have, creating distance from others. I think the super-chic Simon Doonan expressed it best when he said, "There is a snooty elitism that tries to separate people into “the groovy” and “the non-groovy”. I hate this. It's very school playground."

But I am reminded that the way we dress can also be a joy; a show of respect for others; a way of bringing a spot of cheer to ourselves and those around us; a method of bringing us together. And that's when I truly enjoy getting dressed.

How about you?!? Are there times when you enjoy making a style effort more than others? And are there ever situations in which you simply feel defeated by fashion?