When did it *click* for you? - YouLookFab Forum

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When did it click for you?

Cilleena

Veteran

I mean your fashion sense? We are all here because we enjoy fashion and looking great, right? I found YLF about 2 months ago and was so tickled because I knew I was in a rut and wanted a new look, but was nervous about how to put it together. I've learned a lot since coming here. The biggest thing I learned was that I had such huge HOLES in my wardrobe that I didn't even realize were there. Well, I kind of did, when I tried to put together a sophisticated, going out look and had nothing to wear. Sophisticated to me was swapping out my solid colored Tee for a button down shirt and wearing my Danskos instead of my sneakers.

So, now I've filled in some of the wardrobe holes. I've still got a ways to go, (date night capsule, dressy capsule, business casual capsule), but it's a start. However, so many things have to come together to make things *click* with an outfit. And I still could never come up with some of the creative, gorgeous ways of re-mixing pieces for a whole new look. To me, remixing is wearing the Teal shirt with the grey cardi instead of the pink shirt. haha.

Needless to say, I still don't feel like I get it. Some of you have probably been gifted at fashion since girlhood and already had a good working sense of what to wear and how before YLF. I'd like to know how when you figured it out and for those of us that weren't born with the gift and came to YLF looking for serious fashion sense help, how long did it take you to start feeling like you had a handle on things and could confidently put an outfit together that looks great? For me, I'm definitely not there yet. I try to copy looks I like, but frequently miss something important like an accessory or the proportions or the fit will be off. I am trying to be patient with myself, but I want a quick fix so bad. I keep plugging away. What are your thoughts?

General

28 replies

Latest reply was from Queen Mum

April

Veteran

Cilleena, I am definitely not one of those gifted fashion children. I still have work to do and still have trouble consistently assembling outfits that make me feel fabulous all day. And I found this site two and a half years ago, so yeah -- slow learner.

Carole

Veteran

I'm not gifted either! I have to try really hard to take a few more minutes to add the extra "whatever" to amp up my daily outfits. It has really helped me to shop ahead for each season with recommendations here so that I'm not scrambling to find something to wear, or an accessory to complete an outfit! I'm actually finding I'm alot more choosey now when I shop, buying to compliment or fill in the gaps. I love the chance to see trends or edgier pieces worked out here, takes the scare out of trying something different. I never would have had the courage to wear my oxfords without getting inpiration here and feedback. It is so much more fun to shop and get dressed now. Yay!

crwilson

Veteran

Like April, I've been here about two or so years. (April, btw, is light years ahead of me.) I still wouldn't say that it's fully clicked for me. I'm much better about the choices that I make, but I still buy things that end up not working, and I still have a hard time being really creative with putting together outfits. At this point, I have a good sense of what flatters my body and coloring, but I still wouldn't say that I'm certain about my personal style.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

You know the one thing that's helped me recently? Taking pictures of my outfits (whether to post here or just to look at myself). There's something about the view of the camera that helps you be more objective and see things differently, even than you do with a full length mirror.

I also find seeing everyone else's WIWs very helpful - gives me ideas for new things to try, develop my eye for proportion and detail...

Christie

I'm with you ... been reading YLF for 4 years and still trying to figure things out. That's not for a lack of good instruction, but I think its my budget preventing me from really making good purchases. For example, I've never purchased accessories other than a few scarves. I do love thrifting because I can buy better quality for much cheaper ... brands I could never afford otherwise, but still, sometimes I think I settle for things that might not be a 10.

My shoes are in good order ... love my shoe stash.

I just realized (talk about the penny finally dropping ... I read Angie's advice to others and can recognize it on others) that I wear my jeans too big and need to size down, except then they'd probably be too tight on my waistline. Still, I haven't even tried on a smaller size to see the better effect on my legs.

In fact, I haven't gone shopping and tried things on in a very long time! So I guess that's another reason I'm slow to make changes in my look. But then again, there's the budget!

I've always loved clothes, even as a little girl and teen, but never have had much extra money to play with, so my purchases tend to be on the safe side. I would be nervous to buy jeans a size smaller, concerned that they would be too tight and uncomfortable, never worn and then a waste of money. I've even done this with shoes, and then end up with shoes that feel a bit loose.

Louise

Veteran

I think mine was always there I just needed the help to find it. I don't really struggle to put outfits together and normally just 'throw things together' and am lucky that they work but I am quite gung ho and will jump in feet first to new looks or ideas Embarrasingly I'm only just discovering proper PPL with heels *hanging head in shame* so I kinda think we can always learn something new x

MsMary

Veteran

One of the things that really helped me was when I came up with a two-word catchphrase to describe my style: "Businesslike bombshell," which Angie shortened to the even catchier "Business Bombshell." That really resonates with me and captures both my natural style inclinations and what I am trying to accomplish with my personal style.

Also, I've learned that great-looking outfits don't just happen. It takes way more time and thought that I ever dreamed to put together a really great look. At least it does for me, because I, too, am one of the un-gifted! LOL I spend a good amount of time trying things on and putting them together and tweaking my outfits until they are just the way I want them.

And yes, taking photos and posting them and getting feedback is the best education there could ever be!! ESPECIALLY about fit -- I wish I had a dollar for every time somebody's said "Uh... isn't that piece a little big on you?" Turns out I was routinely wearing clothes that didn't fit -- who knew?

Cilleena

Veteran

Me too, Christie, on the buying jeans and shoes too big for fear of buying something uncomfortable that never gets worn. I'll wear a less attractive pair of looser fitting jeans before I will wear an uncomfortable pair of tight jeans. I was much better about buying snugger fitting jeans before kids. It's both a comfort thing and a fear of looking *tarty* that makes me shy away from snug fitting jeans.

kellygirl

Veteran

Lol about looking "tarty"--I have that same phobia. I think it's "mutton dressed as lamb" syndrome. I do agree with Mary that it does take a great deal of effort to put together an outfit. It's still not easy for me and because of that, I'm a serial repeater. I'm still waiting for it all to come together for me : ) Work in progress, that's for sure!

sarah

Veteran

Well, it's definitely still clickin'. I'm on a huge learning curve, here, but I do think that I've finally "gotten" some things - for example that clothes are only cute if they fit you well and flatter YOU. I used to look at clothes much more in the abstract - I liked them or I didn't, regardless of how they worked on me. Taking pictures (even if don't post them) has been hugely helpful to me in this regard. I also am realizing like others that for years I've worn clothes that were too big for me - I think that this all has to do with having poor body image as a child, and wanting to hide in my clothes. You'd think it wouldn't have taken me well into my 40s to figure that out!

It's hugely encouraging to me that YLFers like Mary and Kelly still feel like they're learning. They always seem so polished and fab to me, that I thought they were just born that way! Here's to hoping we can all learn to be fab. And thanks to Angie (and the Forum) for teaching us.

Aida

Veteran

I came upon YLF this past fall, after about 1.5 years of trying to overhaul on my own. I don't think I'll ever get an actual "click" but I have had a couple partial clicks since the initial decision to improve: one on the ride home from Sturgis in late August after feeling terrible about myself for no reason (hours and hours on a motorcycle makes your brain think in a totally different way, very clarifying); and one in early October after making new fall purchases which expanded some wardrobe selections (namely, I got pants other than jeans for daily wear, HUGE help).

I don't feel naturally gifted at layering, or picking trends, or any of it; though fit I understand quite well. I have to constantly read, think, plan, and experiment. A lot. Daily photos are invaluable. Forcing myself to not repeat outfits has helped my creativity and skill dramatically, though by doing this I sometimes miss out on the comfort of being certain my outfits always look good. To be fair, I have found that the experimentation is one of my favorite parts of the whole thing so wearing an experimental outfit, even if not a 10, is often still satisfying.

It does get easier though. I went from spending over 30 minutes to select an outfit down to currently spending 10 minutes or less (though it still takes me at least a half hour to get ready, I'm slow). I don't expect this time to drop any further, because as Mary said, a good outfit takes some work. Again, daily photos are amazing at helping me figure out where I need to improve.

EDIT: I have noticed I have an easier time helping others with outfits than I do for myself, not entirely sure what that's all about.

catgirl

Veteran

I have pretty much NO idea what I'm doing. I've always loved clothes, just not necessarily the mainstream vibe. I am doing my best to learn and hone here, and hoping that one day something WILL click!

MsMary

Veteran

Oh, I forgot another HUGE "click" moment: When I posted something I liked quite a bit, and the response was mostly not all that positive, and I said to myself "Huh. We disagree. Because I still think I looked great and I am still happy with that outfit."

Which was an INCREDIBLE revelation to me -- the idea that I could be happy with how I looked even though somebody else might not agree with my fashion choices. I had always just assumed that there was a "right" and a "wrong," and I was so afraid of getting it wrong that I never really took any chances.

And guess what? It's ALL ABOUT taking chances and risks and sometimes making mistakes, and picking yourself up and dusting yourself off and keeping what worked and ditching what didn't, and most of all, Angie's Only Fashion Rule: HAVE FUN.

Turns out it's not brain surgery. It's FUN!

Who knew?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Ah, Mary I love the revelation that if *you* love it on you it's okay if others don't! I have also the corollary of that, just because others give it 2 thumbs up doesn't mean it's a home run for *me* if I'm not loving the way I feel in it. But feedback is a wonderful and powerful tool that I love about coming here. I agree that photos show you what your own eye can't sometimes.
Nothing has 'clicked' for me but a few aha's have happened along the way. I think it's an ongoing process for most of us.

Cilleena

Veteran

Such interesting and thoughtful comments! Thanks everybody! I love reading these. It helps me to not feel so frustrated when my "look" isn't coming together as quickly as I'd like. I have to remember that I've spent 40 years of my life either wearing what someone else told me to wear (my mom as a child) or totally falling to casualness to the extreme as I've done since having children. It's going to take some time to pull it together. I still have a lot of wardrobe holes although it's getting better. My MOTG outfits are better than they were pre-YLF and I still need to accessorize.

I'm learning, but this is harder than I thought it would be. I used to think stylishness was as simple as copying what the model in the catalogue was wearing, but it's not. So for me this has actually gotten a lot more complicated and some days I don't feel like messing with it. But, it's really fun on the whole and I look forward to the journey.

taylor

Veteran

I have mentioned this before, but I have even as a child been in love with clothes and fabric and dressing. I can tell you very favorite outfit from 1st grade on and a couple from kindergarten... (I am 53, so it has been awhile)I remember how certain outfit made me feel as a child..

It was all great when they came together with ease but those outfits that don't look quite right ...the things I couldn't figure out became clear to me 2 yrs. ago when I joined YLF. Angie's natural born GIFT and expertise sorted all those things out for me and it "clicked" for the first time in may areas. I still learn here almost daily from Angie's discerning eye and the many
fab ladies who post.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I have always loved clothes and fashion but used to be significantly overweight. But even when I was heavier my friends told me a I was a good dresser. Probably in the last two years it really coalesced for me. I'm not afraid to take risks anymore. Yeah I probably get some strange looks in some of my outfits but so what. As Angie says "Have fun". I would encourage you to check out blogs for real life inspiration. I regularly use the blog roll on Already Pretty.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I guess I was completely clueless about fashion and how to dress until 5 years ago. My awakening started when I bought Trinny and Susannah's book as a gift for my mom for Christmas. Well, that book has never left my house and helped me a lot to look with different eyes on myself ans how I dress.
However finding YLF 8 months ago was a real revolution for me and huge fun! I think I approach an outfit creation as a mathematical problem - in a logical way (professional hazard I think). I need to understand why something works or does not and when I
do this everything else is easy. This is what I LOVE about Angie: she has a knack to explain not only what to wear but also why.
I also second picture taking as a great tool!

Melissa

I would love it if I could say I've had a clicking moment, but I really haven't yet! I feel like I've been learning a lot and training my eye, but I am just not there yet.

I basically had to start fresh, and so I still don't feel like I have what I need to make things work, but I do feel like I have an idea of what a good working wardrobe would look like for me, which is huge progress. Now I just need to fill holes and then have fun experimenting.

puffenstuff

(website)

Veteran

Cilleena I can definately sympathise with that feeling. I've been on here just under 12 months and clearly remember being so frustrated that I wanted everything to work right now (just a little impatient!). Picture taking is a great tool, I thought I looked alright and I remember posting my first outfit picture and even though I got some lovely feedback, I looked back at the pictures and thought "that top is too baggy and so are my jeans". It really changes the way you see yourself and helps to develop a real sense for how you look in different outfits. My other lightbulb moments have been about the power of accessories (I love statement necklaces), how wovens make you feel more polished than knits and a recent was is about finishing your whole look from head to toe and paying attention to the smaller details.

I also found that looking at other style bloggers helped me find a style that appealed to me, once I found a few that I liked, I saved a heap of pictures as inspiration and found that a common theme was a simplistic vibe with a standout piece (say a basic top and jeans with a statement necklace). Things started falling into place fairly well from there (only recently) and I feel I'm in a comfortable groove right now.

It is alot of hard work and yes it is frustrating but it sure is worth it when you get to that stage where you can look at yourself in the mirror and smile

Reneeb

Veteran

I have been reading and posting about 2 years and still have along way to go. But one of the main things i have learned is buying clothes that fit by body. I was buying xl regular and now I buy petite L. I am not happy with my body shape and I would just try to cover it up which only made me look bigger. I agree with the others about the picture taking it was a humbling experience but well worth the time. Another mistake I was making impulse buying and not filling holes in my wardrobe. I would end up with 6 blouses and nothing to wear with them. But I feel like I am on my way to getting my groove back. Thanks to Angie and all the ladies on YLF.

Lynne

Veteran

Gosh, it's so good to read that others are still learners:).

mary, your "business bombshell' is perfect - and I think Anna and Aida have mentioned in previous posts embracing their own style. Fantastic.

I've always loved clothes and fashion and have always made an effort even when it was against the environmental norm, but I am aghast at how many mistakes I still make along the way...taking photos is definately way more objective than looking in the mirror, and the feedback from Angie and YLF is invaluable.

Great post....looking forward to hearing more!

Dawn

(website)

It clicked for me when I made the decision to embrace my own aesthetic and ignore my casual surroundings and friends. When I was a student, few other people would wear dresses or blazers to class, and I just ignore this style norm and wore what I wanted to wear.

The other lightbulb moment was when I decided my waist and curves would be one of the defining elements of my style. I don't want to look sexy in a tacky manner but I like to look alluring and sensual in a natural way, and my body shape helps with that.

Tricia

Veteran

It started to click for me when I hit on what my true style persona is, and that wasn't until this fall even though I've been reading YLF for a bit over a year. When I was younger I loved clothes and loved dressing creatively, but I'd gotten away from that in the years since then, until now. I'm loving taking risks, but I also like having a more solid idea of what kind of pieces/combinations "fit" me.

Kristine

Veteran

I definitely don't have a natural sense, I was a horrible dresser until about a year ago. I see old photos and cringe. For me it's been hard work but also a lot of fun. I study what other people wear and decide why I do or don't like it. I try on clothes I'd normally avoid just to see what happens (that's how I discovered dolman sleeves). I push myself just a little more and more. The thought of wearing a skirt to work would have been almost unthinkable a year ago, now it's pretty common.

I love what Mary said about realizing your opinion is as good as anyone else's. I too used to think there was a right and wrong. Now I know we all have a natural sense of our own style and taste, you just have to uncover it.

Deciding where I wanted to go made a big difference. First I wanted to be modern classic, in part because it seemed simple and obtainable. I built a pretty good wardrobe of classic basics. I was happy because even dressing decently was a huge step for me. Now I want to be a little more mod and I'm having fun adding a little more spice.

Do you have an inspiration board? Start collecting images that speak to you. How do you want people to see you? Assess everything you buy, will it build that image or is it the wrong (or no) direction?

Cilleena

Veteran

Thanks Kristine! I have been thinking of my personal style. I have added a few images to it that I really like, but I don't have the courage to wear yet. I'm thinking classic/preppy with a slight bit of quirky would suit me well.

Kristine

Veteran

There you go, it's a start!

Queen Mum

Veteran

I'd say the clicking has been more of a process than a one time event. I know that discovering the concept of body shape was HUGE for me. "So that's why certain things look so crappy on me!" Duh!
I've been here at YLF for a little over a year, and now that I have gone through each season, my wardrobe is almost completely overhauled. I have still made some purchasing mistakes, but have learned the appropriate lessons from each mistake I've made. (my last lesson was, don't go shopping for sweaters on the coldest day of the year... it's kindof like grocery shopping when you're starving)
I would say that I feel really good about my style instincts now... much more so than this same time last year... but I know I will always have much more to learn.