What's Your Purge Equation? - YouLookFab Forum

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What's Your Purge Equation?

Anonymous

Caution: long post

I'm struggling with downsizing my wardrobe. It sounds like lots of you are doing pre-season edits so I'm hoping for advice:

My present wardrobe is larger that I'm used to, and I'm having a real struggle editing it. I did a Fall 'try on' this weekend and was hoping the 'spark joy' question would help me cull. Unfortunately, when I applied it, the answer was: pretty much everything. Maybe I'm just easy to please, but everything felt good, had mates for an outfit, and made me happy. I have plenty of wardrobe space, so there's a home for it all, but I feel I have just *too much* stuff. I'm easily overwhelmed by choice. I desperately want to pare down.

Because I worry about looking dated, my typical MO is to get rid of items based on age (I'm a late adopter so if it's 3 years old I'm guessing out of style so I've been passing on). But I've had plenty of regrets with that -- not only is it expensive, I often miss the passed-on items.

To help me stay structured and corral things, I organise my closet by occasion, subset by item type and colour. My wardrobe is heavily skewed to my mostly office life. Still, many items only get worn once a season, sometimes because of maintenance issues (fragile, light coloured, dry clean only). I'm thinking I should perhaps dump these high-maintenance pieces even though I adore them. I've spent the summer trying to analyse whether I gravitate to a few items more often and, except for a couple of basics like white tees, I don't.

I'm currently purging based on age appropriateness, orphan colours, whether I'd buy an item again, and whether it elicits positive comments from others (since I'm often not a good judge for myself).

How do you choose what to pitch? What am I missing here?

General

46 replies

Latest reply was from

unfrumped

Veteran

Good post. Similar issues here.
Usually I've over-duplicated something, in some way, so have "split wears" . So upcoming edit is to ask, will I ever choose this top instead of another one(s) I have?
Second is, I've bought things I mostly like, but maybe aren't exactly what I really like on me, and they seem too good to toss, but, back to question above.....
I am finding a common theme is usually the "not quite me" is something that is a little too casual or too trendy, somehow compared to something else that for some reason feels more sophistocated, professional. Some of these items could be shifted to casual wear rather than the holding zone, to see if I like them but in another context (J Crew linen high-low tops, I'm looking at you!), and then if I don't even wear them for that, they should go.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Hmm.....you sound like me, Aliona. Having too many options in my wardrobe has started to overwhelm me this year, yet my wardrobe continues to be large. I suspect it always will be.

I liked reading your analysis. It sounds like you genuinely have great clothes! And since you have closet space too, I see no reason why you should worry.

Want lesser choices? Set a routine - you wear one outfit from each section or colour family each week. Or choose ten outfits on sunday and you pick only from those for the week. Or anything like this. I do it, and it helps. And all areas of my wardrobe get some wear, though I rarely wear an outfit more than once either.

Your clothes fit well. They work for your life. They bring you joy. They are obviously loved because you miss them when you give them away before you're ready. So I say - don't be so hard on yourself.

The only thing you're missing here is - discomfort. All the items I have removed felt wrong. Wrong fabric, uncomfortable fit, too fussy because it needs to be adjusted or pulled too often, and also anything in a color that doesn't work for me. Hope that helps!

Anonymous

Unfrumped and Maneera, THANK YOU for your wisdom. You make such great points. Unfrumped, I like your message on split wears: I do have some tops that, though not too similar in colour or style, do fit the category of, 'do I wear this one or that one?' Maneera, I like your idea of routine and rotation. I tend to be a mood dresser so could likely benefit from deliberate choices. And I love your point about comfort. I have a couple of pairs if pants that fit in that category.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What a great question, and already such helpful responses.

I'm not sure I have much to add to the three tests you now have: Does it spark joy; does it split wears; does it feel uncomfortable in any way.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by choice I like Maneera's idea of setting small challenges for yourself. You might also like Susie's strategy of picking 20 or so set outfits for her workwear per month and choosing among those during a month long period.

kkards

Veteran

I don't have a purge equation.....usually when I look at my closet and think wow, i need to do something, I go thru and make very emotional decisions. but I'm trying to be more deliberate

Anonymous

More wonderful thoughts, Suz and kkards, thanks for weighing in on my dilemma. Suz, I feel a September challenge in the making.

kkards, do you ever find you purge things you later regret? I ask because I wonder if I've been too methodical in my approach and therefore likelier to purge pieces I have an emotional attachment to. Clearly closet editing is a balance of the practical and the emotional -- like all good decisions in life!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

The other option would be to focus on the other end of the pipeline, and reduce the amount of new things you bring in. Eventually the items you have now will wear out or get so dated you won't want them anymore, and you will automatically have a smaller wardrobe once that happens because you've been buying less.

Anonymous

Great advice, Laura! I did a lot of 'bringing in' 3 years ago when I had to build a new wardrobe based on a rather drastic size change. I didn't have a good perspective on what suited my new size, so I covered way too much ground in experimenting. It's one reason my wardrobe is now larger than I like. What's telling is I worked with a Nordstrom stylist over that year and she offered such great choices that I'm having trouble knowing what to let go. Since she left the store, I've chosen fewer things on my own, but they have been much poorer choices

Joy

Veteran

I have the same problem and have tried getting rid of duplications, some colors, but that has not always worked. I got rid of all my brown trying to limit neutrals, then missed brown and have added some back.
My most successful ploys have been to employ one-in-one-out which often keeps me from buying more and an idea that Suz gave me several seasons ago. That is dividing my large wardrobe up into about 5-6 seasons and wearing only those items during their time in my closet. My seasons are hot summer, hot autumn, cold autumn until through the holidays, late winter/early spring, and late spring/early summer. I divided based on warmth and color. This makes me very happy to see my old pieces at the beginning of a new season. Some pieces over-lap, especially jeans, which are all put away for the heat of summer.

Anonymous

Ah, Joy, I *love* that advice on seasons. I've been rigidly organising things around 2 temperatures: hot and cold, with crossover items included, packing away out-of season stuff so it's not a visual distraction. But your (and Suz's) approach is more in keeping with my climate and brings the added benefit of fewer items to manage in each seasonal capsule. Part of my wardrobe frustration has been the dread I feel each time I think of diving into all those packed away items. Genius idea! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous

Before reading all of the other replies, I'll post my thoughts on this: in your case, why do you really want to purge? If you have the space, and love most of your pieces, why not let them work themselves out of your closest organically rather than thinking you need to be rid of them? Maybe what it turns into is an exercise in not buying more until you have truly "outgrown" the pieces you do have. I know that's tough for those of us who really like clothes and new things, but you don't want to end up getting rid of things you like just yet. Based on what I've seen of your style, I would agree that 3 years or seasons is probably the limit for what remains really current and interesting. This isn't really a solution as much as it is an observation, I know.

Anonymous

Lisa, you offer superb advice, as always. It's extremely helpful to hear your advice on item longevity as I don't have the fashion sense you and others here do, so I really benefit from your wisdom. Overall, my wardrobe problem is one of feeling overwhelmed when there's too much going on. It's why I have trouble shopping in places like Macy's, TK Maxx or Marshalls where everything's piled tightly in. It makes my head spin and I can't make good choices. My closet feels a bit like one of those stores right now

Susie

Veteran

I've always done regular edits of my closet. But it's only been in the last few years that I make myself stop and really consider each piece. There were always those things that I would just automatically think 'oh that's fine' and skip over it without evaluating it.

Do you track your wears? That was probably the most eye-opening exercise for me- to see, in black and white, what I truly wore. It made me realize how many/few times any one item might be worn over the course of a year. I know some people hate the idea of tracking but for me it worked. I can see now (almost 2 years into it) that I wear a greater percentage of my wardrobe than I used to.

The other thing that has helped me a lot is to have a number of office outfits hanging together, anywhere from 5 to maybe 20. It's much less overwhelming to choose from that group rather than choosing from my whole closet. I used to flit from one idea to another, wasting time until I finally just put on some clothes to get out the door! And it still leaves me with some choice and a the opportunity to be a bit creative since I am still choosing shoes/bag/accessories for the outfit I pick for the day.

Susie

Veteran

I meant to add that how I feel in an outfit or a clothing item is probably the biggest deciding factor for me. I want to only wear things that are comfortable and that I feel good in. Not every item is necessarily a 10 but I don't keep things that are uncomfortable, fussy, or that just don't appeal to me anymore. And I've greatly reduced buying stuff just because...just because it's on sale, or might be nice to have just because it's new or different. My tracking proved to me that I already have plenty of variety.

Anonymous

OMG, Susie, this sounds exactly like my morning: "I used to flit from one idea to another, wasting time until I finally just put on some clothes to get out the door!"

I love your suggestion to create outfit groups. Also to track wears. I haven't done this, but it's a great idea totry. How do you do it? Spreadsheet? App? I started using the Stylebook app but it became too time consuming to load everything in so I gave up.

mamsellemiele

This is very interesting! Not so much a purge equation as a set of main rules:
1. Is there room for this? (tiny house, tiny closet)
2. Do I wear it? (sub-rules to this: does it fit, does it feel good, does it flatter?)

In reality, I'm generally purging/adding to the Goodwill box on an ongoing basis. The box hangs around long enough to pull something out if I change my mind, but that happens really rarely.

Aliona, I don't think I've ever connected that dislike of over-crowded, crammed stores to a dislike of a crowded closet before - I'm so constrained by space that I haven't really examined whether I'd have a bigger wardrobe if I had room.

Susie

Veteran

Aliona, I use a spreadsheet for tracking. I like the spreadsheet because I can put in formulas for adding, counting, % etc. I guess I am kind of nerdy that way

I also keep notes in Evernote- one note for each week where I list WIW each day. It only takes a minute or two each day and then I add that to my spreadsheet weekly. (I also keep a separate note for what I wear on the weekends). It's interesting to see how many pieces I use in a month or three months, for instance. It's also easy to see what isn't getting worn!

Elly

Veteran

Aliona-- why don't you do some capsule play?

Anonymous

You've inspired me for tracking, Susie. I like your Evernote/Spreadsheet approach.

Elly, likewise on the capsule idea. I held off on capsules because I didn't fully understand them: They seemed more like a playful, fun exercise than a practical one. Joy's seasonal approach has given me an appreciation for their practical side and I now see how relevant they are to my situation.

Mamsellemiele, my wardrobe has definitely expanded to fill the size available. I now realise that's not a good thing for me. My home is far from large by U.S. standards, but I miss the freedom of our former tiny home/tiny closet. Less cleaning, less upkeep, more time for fun.

Elly

Veteran

Absolutely-- unless you are an exclusive "outfit" person (wear the same garments together when they are worn, period) capsules can be a valuable exercise on using your clothes. You can build around specific items, by silhouette, season, color-- many possibilities. Sometimes holes and duplicates don't become apparent until you think about how you wear things in conjunction with other items and realize that you have 15 versions of cropped over slim-- but mostly wear button downs with bootcuts.

Anonymous

Great tips on capsules, Elly! Thank you! I am a bit of an outfit person but would prefer not to be, and capsules sound like the perfect way for me to break out. Your insight has been so helpful, everyone. I really appreciate it. I feel a lot less stressed about the process.

Sal

Veteran

You always look great Aliona so I don't think you need to worry about looking dated. And it is wonderful you have so many pieces that you love!

I agree with lots of what has been said.

Perhaps not letting anything new in until you have a piece or two you wish to exit, and having fun with what you own.

In April I tried to wear only 30 pieces in 30 days (achieved this), in June I chose a couple of pieces and tried to remix them in different ways (partially achieved this) and I am now trying to wear any orphans and update my dresses which are getting a little tired. It has become apparent a couple of things that now need to exit, mostly because of fit and quality issues. These little challenges were fun, and I did try a couple of new combinations.

I tracked wears for one month, and it was enlightening how hard some of my pieces work!

Staysfit

Veteran

Aliona, all the above are wonderful ideas. I am left wondering about your original Kon Mari process. Perhaps sparking joy is not a powerful enough tool for you. As my wardrobe became smaller it became easier to spot outlier's, however sometimes my mind gets cluttered with too many ideas and it is hard for me to recognize my strongest feelings. For example, I might like a top and think it sparks joy and want to keep it with the thought that it looks good in an outfit I can create with a specific skirt, etc. However, I may not actually love that top. I added an additional question to the "sparks joy" element to help me assess if my feelings are positive enough for a given item. " Would I want to repurchase it if I lost it somehow? " Those are the items I keep.

It sounds like you wouldn't re-purchase items that require dry cleaning and that type of upkeep is tedious for you. That does not sound like joy. Those items should be purged.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

IMO some of us are overwhelmed by too much stuff - I know I am. It's not that I ever had a huge wardrobe it was just too huge for me. When I first came to YLF I had lots of clothes I loved but still found myself feeling unhappy with my wardrobe. It never felt like I had a grip on things

I agree 100% with Susie about tracking wears - it was a real game changer for me too. I do think there is a step before tracking though - it's working out HOW you want to look. Until I had clarified that aspect of my style I was all over the place - which makes sense given I do have a large eclectic element to my personality.

Not sure if any of this is helpful - it is a (sometimes long) process & remember Angie's rule - don't forget to have fun.

No obligation to read but here are some of my musings:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....inter-2013

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

You could also just pull out things and put them in a holding zone if the issue is feeling overwhelmed with too much stuff. Put them away somewhere and then switch them out occasionally, or see if you miss them.

Which YLF member was it that did the whole capsule wardrobe plus "boutique" thing? The boutique was items that she already owned, but put in a different closet and she could only pull from it occasionally. It seemed to help her make decisions and feel less overwhelmed. Her threads might be useful to you if I could remember her darn name.

To circle back to your original question, which I didn't actually answer before: when I'm culling I don't have a set number of things I'm aiming to get rid of. I have two limiters on my wardrobe: the size of my closet, the number of hangers I have, and the space I have in my drawers; and, the budget I set for my clothing each season. If I buy something new and I am out of space to put it somewhere, I know I need to get rid of something. But usually I cull separately, doing a closet edit and checking all the things that Angie says to check - is it too worn, do I still wear it, do I still like it, do I have things to wear it with, is it too dated, does it need alterations, does it still fit...

Anonymous

Kiwigal, your capsule challenges are great wardrobe lessons. I'm really starting to see the value in this and tracking. How did it felt to do the 30 items in April. Did you feel constrained?

Staysfit, as always you nail it with your wisdom. Your top-as-part-of-an-outfit example is a great one. I'll have to consider that possibility as I continue the try on. And you're right about dry cleaning: Some things, like lined coats and jackets, I understand. But I do get resentful at items that are dry clean only just because the manufacturer used poor quality materials.

Caro, I enjoyed reading your musings. I struggle with coming up with style goals, but maybe if I try logging wears and capsules, these will become more apparent. What struck me about the pictures you posted is the lines, drape and flow of the clothing. Definitely fits with the arty aspect to your style that you describe. Do you feel that the style definitions you developed then still hold true today?

Anonymous

Laura, I like the 'boutique' idea! And good point about doing a separate cull. It makes sense not to overload the brain with too many decisions (especially mine!).

Again, I'm so grateful for everyone's help and wisdom today. Thank you all so much!

retailgirl

Veteran

Aliona, you say that to maxx and Macy's overwhelm you. But actually they are organized very differently. TJ maxx is arranged by clothing type and then by size, except for some new items that make a cohesive "statement" and will be highlighted in front of the department. Macy's is pretty much arranged by brand, many of which are Macy's own, such as Karen Scott, INC, Alfani, Style and Co., ideology, American Rag, I think I got them all! Then there is a Lauren shop, a north face shop, etc., and there are separate areas for petite and regular. So find which line works for you and you're halfway there! But don't expect any help at either store. Nordstrom is a good place to shop, but the selection in the individual stores is not usually that great. That's why the sales associates are great because they know all the stock. Finding what works for you is hard, but hang in ther.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am going to read this carefully later to benefit from the collective wisdom, but I think the main thing is to accept your wardrobe - once everything sparks joy, fits comfortably and you aren't keeping second rate items that you favor for the ones you really love (ie split wears issue), maybe it is ok to just let your wardrobe be as long as it sits comfortably in your closet!

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