What's your canary? - YouLookFab Forum

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What's your canary?

catgirl

Veteran

I posted about the flares I tried that I wasn't dying to wear them right away, and that was my canary in the coal mine (or rather, closet), telling me this pair was not going to work for me.

It has taken me forever to learn this. Do you have any kind of canary that warns you of a possible mistake when shopping? The voice of Angie or YLF? Some other thought process?

General

53 replies

Latest reply was from trying...

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

When I start convincing myself that because it's cheap or a good deal or I have a coupon, I should get it. I definitely pay attention to price but if I start justifying buying something just because of price, it usually means that I should leave it there.

Jules

Veteran

I think I have a new one. It involves trying on an item with other items that I love. That's when it becomes really clear that the new item does NOT make me feel as fab as existing well-loved stuff.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I close my eyes and try to picture myself wearing it in my life. if I can't, I don't keep it.

deb

Veteran

The justification speech that runs in my head. I have finally learned to stop listening.

Peri

Veteran

When I put something on and have that "well, maybe" feeling. I can love something and have still doubts about fit, or usefulness or some such and still need to think. But if my initial reaction is not love, then it needs to go. I've broken that rule and every time it ends up being an item I don't enjoy wearing. I think that's probably the same as you are saying...wanting to wear it right away would indicate the "love this" excitement I'm talking about. Not wanting to wear it would be the "well, maybe" feeling.

Parsley

Veteran

I think mine is (or should be) much the same as yours. If I'm not dying to wear something right now, I probably will never wear it. I've bought things that seemed to make total sense for my wardrobe, but I just didn't love them enough to be eager to put them on, so there they sit in my closet.
I should make myself stick with things that I want to rip the tags off of the first day and wear!
The opposite can happen, too. I just got a red raincoat that I wasn't totally sure was "me", but then I couldn't wait to put it on, and I've been wearing it constantly ever since. My eagerness to wear it made me realize that it was a good purchase after all!

abc

Veteran

Thank you for this thread. I need more canaries in my (shopping) life.

kavita

I'm with you - If my mind isn't busy figuring out *exactly* how to wear the purchase the very next day, that's the deal breaker for me

Mo

(website)

Veteran

That's a very good sign but I do buy out of season sometimes, and I get into trouble then because I can't use that test.
I need to do IK's trick of seeing myself somewhere in it. Good way to keep the fantasy life purchases in check.

rabbit

Veteran

I echo Peri's 'well maybe' feeling. Or for me it's often a 'useful but not exciting/next level' feeling. I never end up wearing those things that much - and they usually are things I shopped for specifically to fill a hole.

Jules' test - if you put it on with a great outfit and would rather swap in an item of clothing you already have, is a good one too.

My biggest mistakes I've made is when I go on a twice a year shopping trip just before leaving for a trip or long away from home period.

I buy things for the trip but also that catch my eye (because I haven't been in a store for months usually), and then I pack, and leave. The first wave of not great items gets returned before the trip, but the next wave often doesn't get looked at for weeks, and I forget that they are there in the closet at all. I find them again during the wrong season, and if they don't really work out it's too late at that point. They are usually things that are 'useful' on paper, like cardigans or t shirts or jeans, so that's why I never initially returned them, but when push comes to shove there is something just a little awkward about the color or cut when I'm wearing them that I didn't notice or didn't bother me until I'd tried them on three times.

So that's my takeaway. Don't buy things before a trip that you aren't taking for the trip, and try on everything at a minimum of three times. Once at the store, once at home for someone else for a second opinion, once in daylight a day or two later with an entire 'best' outfit or two.

cciele

Veteran

My thought process is in line with Peri's. If I put on an item and don't dance around the house with a goofy smile on my face, then back it goes

rachylou

Veteran

Well, I think my canary has been passed out a long time now at the bottom of the mineshaft... but I think it's when I start thinking, "I could wear this if I styled it [FILL IN THE BLANK WITH ANY STYLE BUT MY STYLE]."

Gigi

Veteran

My canary is when I start thinking a lot with my head about the item, but there's not a lot of "heart" excitement going on. It's like I'm making excuses in my head about how the item could be used or made OK or made better, etc. But I'm not saying, "Hey, this looks great! I love it! It's a keeper!" So when the brain starts going into overdrive and the heart is silent, I know I need to proceed with caution. It doesn't necessarily mean that the item needs to go back, but it does mean that I need to really examine the item and see what the root problem with it is.

I recently bought a polka dot pencil skirt from Loft that was really cute. It looked great on me, fit very well, was well made (surprise!), was in easy-to-match colors, was a great length, etc. But my heart wasn't in it, and I couldn't figure out why. It finally dawned on me that the skirt, being a pencil skirt, was business-y, and the fabric weight and type made me *feel* business-y, and that is decidedly not my style. However, occasionally I do have times where I need to wear something a little more conservative, and I realized that the skirt had all the "fun" things I like about my style but could still be used in those conservative settings. Once I recognized what the problem was, I was able to ask myself whether I had a need for something that wasn't 100% me but could be worn in more conservative settings, and the answer was yes. So I kept the skirt. I just had to reset my thinking about the skirt to "professional" instead of "casual."

Jewell

Veteran

I have two, and I'm grateful that I'm finally beginning to learn from my mistakes. The first is the same as yours. I've learned to recognize the absence of that, "I can't wait to wear this" feeling as a sign that I'll never want to wear it. And any kind of justifications regarding price are usually red flags for me, too. "It's only ____ dollars" or "I'll get it if I can get a good sale price."

Now that I think about it, there are two more that are less frequent: if I need to purchase something else to make it work or take it to a tailor before I can wear it. I've had way too many items become orphans before I made that necessary purchase or trip to the tailor.

Laurinda

Veteran

I ask myself:

1) Do I want to wear this tonight? Out of the store???

2) Would I pack this in my carry-on for a trip to Paris? (or Hawaii for warm weather items).

3) Am I willing to let go of an equivalent item? (one-in one-out).

Emily

Veteran

Mine is the same as yours, AlaskaGirl! If I bring home something new and I dont feel like I just can't wait to cut the tags and wear it, it's probably not going to see much wear.

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, I wasn't sure if this was a dumb question but it is so helpful to read these responses! Am nodding along with all of them...

carambola

Veteran

Mine, only recently identified and still hard for me to listen to, is if I have to fuss with an item - stand in a certain way or pull on it just so for it to look perfect, it needs to go back. Sometimes I fall in love with something and want it to work so much I think a minor fit issue will not bother me or I can just adjust it every so often, but then that weird wrinkle will keep appearing and drive me nuts and I won't wear it.

Echo

Veteran

I wish I had a more rapid-response canary, but I usually end up taking something home and then realizing that I am not excited to wear it. I don't find myself imagining the outfit I will pair it with ASAP. Then I need to get in gear and return right away before the window closes. I've never had an item that I wasn't excited about or didn't try to wear as soon as I could that worked out well in the end.

Anonymous

I think about how there really is a limit on how many items of clothing I can wear. If I'm thinking about something new I realize wearing it means less wear for something else so I decide if it's worth it.
Right now I'm pretty happy with my closet so it's much easier not buying stuff.
I'm also trying to do the one in/one out rule which means I have to be willing to get rid of something.

Windchime

Veteran

Mine is similar to Gigi's-- if I'm doing a lot of logical, rational head talk but am not feeling a heartfelt "I love this" at the same time, it's probably better that I don't purchase an item.

If I get back in my car at the end of shopping and am relieved I didn't buy such and such, that confirms the decision. A couple times I've driven home regretting that I did NOT purchase something; one of those times I went back later and bought it.

pastrygirl

(website)

Veteran

If I even think about the return policy, I should just leave it in the store! I'm 1,000x better at this than I used to be, but still get caught up sometimes. It can be OK, like if I want to make sure I can style it with things I already own or if I'm in a huge hurry and really need more time to think about it.

Case in point: this weekend, I said I wanted to keep the shoe boxes when I paid; I never, ever keep the shoe boxes!! The shoes are already back in my car waiting to be returned.

viva

Veteran

I've come to understand that when something is a keeper, it is pretty clear pretty quickly and without hand-wringing. If I start to obsess too long the answer is there -- I just have to accept it.

If I am obsessing for too long about whether or not to buy, I should pass.
If I am obsessing for too long about whether or not to return, I should return.

Simply put, obsessing in any way about keeping an item means it's not right for me.

Sometimes it takes me a while to accept the obvious, though. I experienced so much internal back and forth on the slim bootcuts I recently tried on, and only when talking to Suz in Boston did it become clear that I needed to return them. I was hand-wringing over the length of the bootcuts and whether or not I would have to hem them to wear them, etc. etc., and whether or not I wanted to wear heels on a daily basis to justify the jeans, and she rightly noted that I can satisfy the bootcut itch -- if it really exists -- quite inexpensively through thrifting or ebay. I don't even know if I will do that, but I knew instantly when she said it that I needed to relieve myself of the inner drama. So out they went. Whew - it felt good!

On the other hand, I was committed pretty quickly to the Reiss navy tuxedo jacket in Boston even though it is definitely one of the most expensive things in my closet (maybe the most). I did ask Suz and Angie for their opinions, but it was a pretty fast purchase. I just knew. Got it home Saturday, tags off and wearing today. No drama, no regrets.

Anonymous

Mine is a bit tangential - if I have to ask my husband if jeans/pants/shorts are too tight - that means they are way too tight!

Lyn D.

Veteran

Nodding along too.
I find if I have to over-think an item, then usually it isn't going to work.
If it is outside my comfort zone and comes home with me I try it on once or multiple times to see if it can live with my toppers or shoes and decide from there.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Great question

I have two main ones: one is to think about what I have already & whether I'd rather wear my current one or the possible purchase. Too often I realise I already have something better at home The second one is fabric - if the material doesn't feel right (to me) I'm never going to wear it.

MovingFashionForward

I use the paper bag test: I imagine myself wearing said item in my real life, and ask myself the following: if I were to meet x, y or z (particular acquaintances with what I consider good taste, and who also have a critical eye) while wearing said item, would I prefer to be wearing a paper bag over my head? If yes, that's the dead canary.

Sarah

Catnip

Veteran

My canary is not being able to find a way to fit an item I love into my existing wardrobe. I recently bought a beautiful sweater. It fit very well, was a lovely color, looked very good on me and I thought it would go with at least two pairs of pants I already owned. When I got it home I tried it on with all my pants and nothing looked right. I realized I was going to have to buy pants just to go with it, and also shoes. That was too much, and back it went.

carter

Veteran

Oh my. I think I need some canaries...maybe a whole flock. I have several tops in evaluation now that looked great online. 2 are definite yeses, 2 are probablys, 2 are maybes, and 2 are definitely nos. I need to stop at the definite yeses and return the others, but the bar seems to adjust downward a bit everyday.

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