What to wear to visitation - YouLookFab Forum

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What to wear to visitation

pil

Veteran

Sorry to pop in asking for advice when I haven’t been around much. My mom - age 90 - died Friday and I need to figure out what to wear to visitation. My wardrobe hasn’t been in a great spot lately yet I don’t want to run out to try finding something new to wear.
Unfrumped’s Flippy Skirt thread reminded me of this 10 year old skirt already in my closet. This is really the only top that halfway works with the skirt. I’ll iron of course, but is it at least kind of ok?
I’ll be wearing my Eileen Fisher cobalt dress to the service. I was going to post a photo of that but just managed to delete it from my finds. Ugh.
And I can’t figure out how to get the shoe off of the post.
Thanks.

AGL Double Sole Oxford (Women)

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Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Jenni NZ

slim cat

Veteran

The skirt and top look good on you - the fit, shape and colors are fine.
Ironing is a sure thing.
Do you think you'll need to add more black in your outfit - like scarf or some other accessories ( black bag maybe, or black cardigan to take with you )? I'm not sure about the rules or requirements.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

First, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. 90 is a great age -- but it is never easy, no matter what.

I'm not too sure about etiquette for visitation attire -- I expect it varies a lot with the community -- but this skirt is pretty, simple, and looks summery, and the length is modest. If the idea is to look respectful and seasonally appropriate, I'd say it works and you look lovely.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I’m sorry for your loss, and I think the skirt is just fine.

Whatever you wear for these events, you might want to consider that it’s possible you won’t feel the same way about the clothing afterwards. I couldn’t wear the pieces I wore to my mom’s funeral again without conjuring up a whole array of emotions, and eventually just got rid of them.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I totally agree with Suz. I'm very sorry for your loss. It's never easy.

nuancedream

Veteran

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. As mentioned by Suz and Janet, it is never easy. I think the skirt and top you plan to wear to visitation are totally appropriate. Jenn brings up a good point about not being able to wear items again that were worn at a funeral. I have a black midi dress that I wore to my mother's funeral that's in my holding zone.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My condolences, Jill. Very sorry for your loss. So hard and sad. (And always feel welcome to ask a question, here).

I love that outfit. Looks dead right, and is gorgeous. Might need a topper for a/c.

Jenn and Nuancedream, bring up a VERY good point. I never wore the outfit I wore to my own Mum's funeral again.

unfrumped

Veteran

I’m sorry about your mother.
Only thing I would add is consider a topper if you will be inside in a/c , so you can have or take off to stay as comfortable as possible temp- wise during what is a difficult time.

Anonymous

That is sad news.

You outfit is lovely, much better than "kind of ok", it's perfect really

Minaminu

Veteran

I am sorry for your loss. I think a topper would be very helpful indeed.

Joy

Veteran

So sorry for your loss. For a visitation and being the daughter wear something you would wear to church. Jenn is right. Whatever you wear you may not ever want to wear it again. I didn’t except to another funeral for a friend’s mother. Your outfit will forever be associated with funerals. Your skirt looks fine although older people will expect to see you in a dark neutral and arms more covered. Air conditioning can be really cold, especially if you are seated be.ow a vent. You may want to consider a topper in a dark neutral.

rachylou

Veteran

I’m so sorry, pil. I agree about a warm topper. I think this is fine for visitation.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

I’m sorry that you’ve lost your mom.

Is this an outfit she would’ve enjoyed seeing you in? It looks nice to me. You look appropriately attired in seasonally fine outfit.

MsMary

Veteran

I'm so sorry for your loss. My feeling is you get to wear whatever you want to your mom's visitation. But I second the notion that it will have memories attached afterward. I haven't touched the dress I wore to my mom's service back in September and I suspect I never will.

Kate

Veteran

I'm so sorry for your loss, Pil. I think your outfit looks just fine for the visitation.

Anonymous

I'm so sorry Pil I think the outfit looks nice, but agree with Jenn and all that you probably won't want to wear it again after. In that circumstance I'd probably pick up a black dress on consignment, then donate it afterwards.

Gail

Veteran

So sorry to hear about your Mom. Perhaps you could wear what you're comfortable in or something maybe that you knew your Mom loved on you .

pil

Veteran

Thanks everyone. I hadn’t thought about associating the clothes with the funeral, so grabbed this $8 white tee while at Sam’s Club today. I like the floral silk top too much to take that chance.
Added a couple more photos to the original post.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

The new $8 white tee looks fab with the gaudet skirt. Nicely done!

Windchime

Veteran

I’m so sorry about your loss, Pil. Losing a parent is very difficult in many ways.

I love the outfit you show with the floral top. As far as being able to wear it again—for my Mother’s funeral, I went out and bought a dress. I never could wear it again because the only association I had with the dress was her funeral.

For my Father’s funeral, I chose a dress and jacket which I’d already owned a few years and worn several times. I’ve been emotionally able to wear them again after the funeral.

Whatever you decide is the right decision for you and will honor your Mother’s memory.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

So sorry for your loss.
That’s a great outfit: subdued and respectful, but not dull. I hope you’ll feel comfortable wearing the skirt again. Maybe you can connect it in your mind with good memories of her that are shared that day.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, Pil. The outfits you posted are nice. It is good that you can have a visitation; I hope it is a comfort to participate in this ritual.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am sorry for your loss. No clothing advice but echo what Sharan said above.

elpgal

Veteran

I am so sorry for your loss. What you have picked looks appropriate. Perhaps a warm shawl to go with it?

lyn67

Veteran

Very sorry for your loss, my deep condoleances, Phil. Ditto what Suz said, your looks seem appropiate, and unfortunately so true, funeral outfits will never bring joy again....a thing to consider in time....:-(

Anonymous

Also very lovely. I so admire that you've been able to create a subdued outfit that is seasonally appropriate, flattering, and genuinely attractive.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I am so sorry for your loss. Your outfits look appropriate for the occasion. You might want to add a sweater or lightweight blazer for the AC.

JAileen

Veteran

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Both outfits look very nice. If one has particular meaning to your mother, then I would choose that one.

Laurel

I'm very sorry for you loss, and hope you have a cache of happy memories to comfort you. And, while your mother is physically gone, I believe she lives in you and the light you radiate into the world. She will always be with you. I wholeheartedly agree with all the previous posters who report their own experiences with the clothing they wore. While it may not seem logical, I am another who could never wear the clothing again after I wore it to my father's service and visitation. It's a shame, because I put tremendous effort into "looking good" as part of my tribute to him. And, looking back---I know that: a)I've never looked better, and b) I've never felt worse.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I am sorry for your loss also. For both my mother’s ( she was 79, I was 38) and my father’s ( he was 87, I was 49) funerals, I was able to wear the clothing again and was not concerned by the association. As it is now 21 years since she died and 10 years since he did I don’t own any of it now.
However as we are not all the same, you may not know how you will feel and I think the $8 tee a good idea plus it looks lovely with that skirt. Condolences