What to wear to Memorial Service

Blog

Forum

Finds

What to wear to Memorial Service

sarah

Veteran

Are either of these OK for a Memorial Service?

ETA: This is for my neighbor growing up - they are a very casual family, in case that influences your choice.

I think I prefer #1, and am wondering if I should add a belt. Normally I would scrunch the sleeves in #1, but that doesn't seem quite appropriate.

#2 was an attempt to copy a recent post by Vicki, but it doesn't seem quite as successful as hers.

Thoughts?

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

13 years ago

Dressing

20 replies

Latest reply was from

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I prefer the dark combo of #2 for a service, personally...both are very good, I think. although the blazer really helps, Im just not a fan of a bright color in that situation. . I think a dark belt would look good... the one in the 2nd photo is really nice, have you tried that? Im sorry for your loss

13 years ago

Anonymous

I like the formality of the jacket,so I prefer #1

13 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Sarah these both look good, however I am partial to #2. The only thing I would change is the shoes. These look to casual to me for a Memorial Service. I realise it is probably warm where you are but a more closed in sandal might be better?

13 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

What would the deceased have wanted? And what about his/her family? A friend in my women's group said that among her FIL's last words was that he wanted to go out *Hollywood style* but that he died before he could elaborate. So yesterday for his memorial service, my women's group dolled up and I painted my nails red (first time in 59 years!!!) and I wore my blingiest earrings. Another person at the service said that David wouldn't have wanted people to wear black. For a memorial service earlier this year on St. Patrick's Day, the deceased, who was of Irish heritage, expressed a desire before he passed away that everyone wear green, so we did.

Either of your outfits would have been fine at the four memorial services I attended this year in my community among my circle of friends and acquaintances, although the sandals would have been too cold for the weekend I attended three services. Both are modest which is my middle-aged preference -- but my bias would be to have an under-clad teen or anyone else who wanted to attend feel welcomed rather than harumphed out the door as inappropriately dressed.

13 years ago

sarah

Veteran

Thanks for your thoughts, all. It's going to be pretty warm, and these are the most "formal" of my sandals, so I'm probably stuck with them. I realize that my foot wear is limited to "fall-winter-spring" work boots/booties/shoes, and summer sandals. I'm not a pumps gal. Hmmm...

The deceased was a philosophy professor who lived next door to us all the time I was growing up. They are a very casual family: musicians, poets, professors and the like, if that helps. So, I don't think I need to stick to dark colors.

13 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

Sounds like you could dress in Eileen Fisher if that were your style, tee, hee, hee. No, I don't think you need to stick to dark colors within that context, but definitely your presence will be welcomed.

13 years ago

sarah

Veteran

Donna, that would actually be PERFECT. You hit the nail on the head. Alas, I don't have anything like that anymore.

13 years ago

Kyle

Veteran

You look great. I love the skirt and both blouses are quite nice. This feels a bit casual for a memorial, honestly...but it is so hard to make that call without knowing the people involved. I would be inclined to keep things a bit on the darker, vs. brighter, side, to keep it a bit more traditional. But in the end, my best advice is for you to trust your gut instincts, and I'm sure they will not steer you wrong.

13 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Sarah, you look lovely. And I would trust your gut on this one. What matters most is that you are comfortable and able to be present to those who are deep in mourning.

On the footwear issue, you do have a couple of flats, right? Because you could always wear flats with no stockings for a more closed in shoe.

13 years ago

sarah

Veteran

Thanks, all.

Suz, I have pewter, animal print, and red flats. Do you think that the pewter flats would be better in this case?

13 years ago

Isis

Veteran

I think both outfits look good. I like the jacket in #1 and a belt would be nice.....the sandals are casual, but would have completely fit in the last two memorial services I went to. You know the community so trust your instinct on the level of formality that is appropriate.

13 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Sarah I would go with either the pewter or red flats:)

13 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I think the pewter flats with either outfit would work well Sarah. And I agree with Suz to trust your instincts on what to wear. You know the family and what will be appropriate.

13 years ago

Scarlet

Veteran

I would normally say the red is too happy, but it sounds like this is a special situation. I do feel like closed toed shoes would be more appropriate if they are a possibility. Pewter sounds like the best bet. Unrelated, I really like that skirt.

13 years ago

fashionlady

Active Member

the #2 is perfect.

13 years ago

Jjsloane

Veteran

I like #1. It's you, it's appropriate without being too somber. Having been the family once or twice we (they) won't notice what anyone wears unless it's a clown suit (literally). It's nice of you to consider their thoughts, but as others said, they'll just be happy you're there.

13 years ago

Sheila

Veteran

I think the pewter flats will look very appropriate and, if you feel comfortable in #1, I would go for it...unless the weather is so hot that a jacket is just too heavy to wear. Then switch to the other combo, which, although darker, looks cooler to my eye.

I have been an organist in a church and have played for so many memorial services over the years...what you will be wearing is just fine, my dear!

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I am with Jeanne. I couldn't even begin to guess what anyone was wearing at my mother's or father's funerals. I barely even remember what I wore!

I think you look very appropriate. I also have a footwear wardrobe hole when it comes to these occasions -- I wore simple wedge black sandals last year for a memorial and they felt just a little too casual, but I balk at buying a pair of black pumps that I would only wear for such occasions.

I'm sorry for your loss.

13 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sounds like you are sorted. I am sorry for your loss.

13 years ago

Anonymous

You are probably already there (and sorted) but I just wanted to say how nice both of these outfits are. The coral shirt is beautiful on you, that is a fab, fab, FAB printed skirt and you look every bit as chic as Vicki. I agree flats are a great option if you are going somewhere that has A/C.

13 years ago

Category