What to wear to an October wedding? (ETA new photos downstream) - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

What to wear to an October wedding? (ETA new photos downstream)

CarolS

Veteran

Hi all! I posted a while back about trying to sort out something to wear for my nephew's upcoming wedding and got some wonderful suggestions, which I have been trying to keep in mind as I've shopped over the last several weeks. Now we're two weeks from the event and I have to get serious.

A few considerations have factored in my search:

I have crabby feet and don't have anything that you could consider a "party shoe". I can't wear heels. Loafer styles won't stay on my feet. Ballet flats are a NO. Here's what I do have;
- burgundy Ecco oxfords on order (finds)
- black Clarks oxfords (old)
- very plain black mid-calf leather boots (Timberland, old)
- black riding boots home on spec. (nothing fancy, but they might pass)
I'm self conscious about my mid section - which is pretty close to the same measurement as my hips. Fitted dresses are out. I need separates or a very waist surrendering dress.
I have been losing weight, and don't want to invest a lot for transitional items that might only get one wearing.

Here's some recent try-ons....

I LOVE this jacket, but don't really know what to do with it. (I also brought home in dark brown, just in case) I don't think the style of the skirt is right for it. Maybe the blouse would work tucked in to wide pants? Does this jacket need flared jeans? A straight skirt?
I like this top, but it's probably too casual.
This moto jacket is actually a bit small, but I grabbed it because the price was right and I've always wanted one. Maybe for the pre-wedding dinner rather than the wedding? See a better shot of the dark floral top in 6.
Imagine the burgundy oxfords with this. The burgundy faux leather topper home on spec. Might be too hot, but I do like the look. It's a bit dressier than the moto. These pants are too big, but I have another pair that I think would do the same job.
With a burgundy lurex sweater. Again, imagine the burgundy shoes and better fitting pants!
A better shot of the dark floral top
Tried to capture a bit of the movement of the grey jacket from #1
The burgundy jacket also comes in black.

Comments and suggestions welcome! Anything here dressy enough for a wedding? (It is not black tie!) More photos might follow, but this is all I had the energy for today!

This post has 8 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

View Info

Bagatelle Drape Faux Leather & Faux Suede Jacket

View Info

Top Pick

3

Dressing

54 replies

Latest reply was from

Joy

Veteran

I like the idea of one of your pairs of boots over the oxfords. I like your first outfit best and think that jacket /skirt combo look just fine and to me the blouse looks ok worn out as shown. The white blouse helps lighten the look.

slim cat

Veteran

I like pretty much all the jackets . The jacket in #4-5 probably my fav - especially with floral top. The outfit #1 is very pretty on you too.

N

Love your looks. I can tell though that at your natural waist, you can see it slope inwards. I'd go for a skater style skirt sat at your true waist. One that puffs out a little might be even better because you won't see your tummy area (its a trick of mine) gives you definition too. You'll need a strong shoulder or bust line though (I have broad shoulders so mine is always strong whether I like it or not).

I'm tall so I always get separates so the waist hits at the right place. Also if you get something expensive and its a size or two larger you can always get it taken in. Much harder to do the other way round mind. I think they could even leave the excess material in the seam so you can have it taken out again if needed. I think they did that in the past.

This kind of style:

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Love the dark floral top and the jackets at 3 and 4. Like it with both the pants and skirt.

I’m less keen on top in pic 2. It does look casual.

Jacket no 1 is pretty and looks the most wedding appropriate to me.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well I like top in pic 2 best! I think the bigger flowers look more lux and that it is good with the skirt and I would prefer burgundy Oxfords and burgundy jacket.
But I do like the jacket in pic 1 also.

lozz_oz

Veteran

I’m with jenni, regarding top #2. Although I prefer the black jacket and black boots!
I know you say you don’t like your midsection....could you try a half tuck or consider an asymmetrical top that draws the eye across and down? You know it’s all smoke and mirrors, right?

Sally

Veteran

I like the top in pic 2. There is something a bit more dressed up about it. I also like the jacket in 4-5 and topper in #7. I am also self-conscious about my midsection. If you do a semi-tuck like Lozz_oz suggests and have a longer jacket past your hips, it can actually make the midsection look smaller (like the girl with the leather jacket and t-shirt like the picture you have chosen). Rouching at the waist and diagnals also tricks the eye.

Minaminu

Veteran

another vote for the pic 2, I really like the shape of the skirt on you. It's dressier and makes you look taller. Would you have a top in a similar colour, so that it would look like a column of the same colour from top to bottom?

rachylou

Veteran

Another vote for #1… the topper and top look fancy to me… a wedding needs fancy. Re the skirt… is it knitted? I like the shape but don’t think a sweater skirt would right for a wedding…

ChrisM

Veteran

Voting to keep #1 in contention. Love the jacket and blouse, no need to tuck. You love the jacket, it’s not too hot - I say that’s a winner all around.

I think there might be a better choice for bottom - the knit tulip skirt with that jacket/top is not my fav. I think soft trousers or an a-line skirt (slim through the hips, soft and flowy over the boots) would work better.

(I don’t usually comment, but I’m very sympathetic to both your fit requirements/challenges and the difficulty in dealing with event dressing…..)

Synne

Veteran

My fav is #5!!

Star

Veteran

I say 2 or 5, both with oxfords. I love stompy boot outfits but not for a wedding outfit.

Aquamarine

Veteran

I think any of the skirt options work. I would like to see them with the oxfords because I don’t think stompy boots are dressy enough (did you mention the venue? Inside or out?).

Personally I think shoes make or break a lot of dressy outfits and wondering if you’d be open to trying on a sleeker bootie or perhaps Angie will have some suggestions as to comfortable shoes that might work for you. Disregard all this if you want to shop your closet! And I truly sympathize…comfortable dressy shoes are SO difficult to find for me too.

kkards

Veteran

Sorry, you probably told us this before but i cant remember.
is this a day wedding? Inside or outdoors?

My 1st reaction is yes to the skirt, but the supporting players are not dressy enough for a night wedding, but could work for a daytime (and presumably more casual) wedding. Sorry.

Hmmm…more thoughts, wondering what the white/cream blouse in #1 looks like under the leather moto…somehow that feels more dressy to me, but maybe only works in my brain and not IRL

cat2

Veteran

If dressy is a category you need moving forward, what about a dressier Oxford? I think Janet has a metallic pair; something like that would be fun for the holidays as well.

CarolS

Veteran

I appreciate the kind comments, everyone, and thanks for basically confirming that nothing here is really what any of us (me included) would tend to think of as an outfit for a wedding. They're heavy and leave me feeling clunky and out of place. I've been trying to see if I could come up with something that would pass for "creatively dressy" and I don't think I have gotten there yet.

I was praying hard for this to be an outdoor wedding, but it is not, making my very un-dressy footwear options feel even more glaringly out of place - and making it even harder to fake a properly wedding-y outfit.

I have been scouring the local market for some kind of dressy shoe my foot will accept, and, well, this is where I am.

The skirt is knit -- not my first choice for a wedding either, but at least the length and flow feel a bit dressy to me. I know it is not the right thing with the silver jacket, but figured I'd give it a shot to see what happened. I'll try the silver jacket with a column of black to see if that is any better.

The white blouse doesn't semi tuck very easily because it has a built in lining that makes it a very fussy process. I have a pair of crepe trousers that would need to be hemmed, but I might try the blouse with those today to see if that works any better. I like the idea of black and white but worry about being confused with the wait staff!

I couldn't do semi tucks with most of these looks because the tops are shaped -- there's nothing to blouse over to create the illusion. I need a looser top to do a tuck. I also need a mid rise waist. Those particular pants come up almost to my bra, so in that case, my only option is a fitted top untucked.

Anyway, I come with some complicated fit issues that are making this whole thing not so very fun. I'll get back to the drawing board and post a few more photos soon, and will head back to the stores today to see if I can find anything else that might fit the bill better.

Thanks again for looking and sharing your thoughts! I'll try to get back with individual responses later today!!

cat2

Veteran

Hmm, burgundy jacket, white blouse and your new black pants sounds promising, and the burgundy would prevent any cater-waiter confusion. Do you have any existing jewelry that would dress things up?

CarolS

Veteran

Thanks, cat2 -- I'll take a look at that combination. I am not much of a magpie on the jewelry front but I do have an antique jet and sort of pearl-ish choker that I have turned to over the years and I fished a pair of very simple sparkly earrings out of a drawer yesterday. Also a simple pearl choker or a longer double strand of faux pears that don't look bad. I had a lovely pair of pearl earrings that I wore constantly for a couple of decades - but one came off its post and I haven't gone to get it repaired during the pandemic!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*crabby feet*

Oh, CarolS. I empathize. My own feet can be sooo grumpy

First of all, ALL these outfits are SMASHING, and you look absolutely fabulous! The texture and colour of your hair adds a lot of flair! Specs are fun too. You wear these dark, grey'ed tones and shades with the best of them. My faves are #4, 5 and 7!

For the wedding:

Try the jacket in #1 over the pants in #5 with the dark floral tee or a plain black or grey matching shell top. Keep the top shorter. Throw on your dressiest shoe of the 4 you mentioned. Or try to get a dressier oxford in a grey or metallic. Bag to match. If you have a narrower pair of black pants, try those too.

CarolS

Veteran

Thanks so much Angie. I've got my work cut out for me.

I think the dressier oxford is a HEWI that is going to take some time to track down. The Ecco oxford has an option that is all black (no brown on the sole), which would probably be the dressiest oxford I'm going to come up with for now. It also comes in a creamy colour that I haven't seen in person. I had hoped to find a pair of dressy enough beige pants tor even a beige skirt to make those an option, but so far, no luck.

I think I have some individual pieces that could work but haven't yet found a combination of pieces that will make me feel appropriate, comfortable and happy.

I'll plow on again today and report back!

CarolS

Veteran

I found this dress forgotten in the back of my closet. Outgrown before I could wear it. It fits now, but not sure if it works with any of the footwear options. Dress can be worn with V in the back or front. I've shown both.

Shown here with an existing pair of black oxfords. If a dressier oxford would help, I can get the same style as the burgundy in all black (including the sole).

Also shown with a pair of knee high boots I brought home the other day to see if they expanded my options at all. I took a few photos -- it's so hard to get the detail in black.

I really want to wear something brighter, but I guess I at least need a fallback position.

Better? Still meh? Thanks for your candid feedback.

This post has 7 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Echo

Veteran

Ooh, I far prefer the dress to the other options. I struggle to see the previous outfits as dressy enough for a wedding. But a black dress is always appropriate.

kkards

Veteran

Ok, hear me out here…wonder if you go full out comfort on the footwear, and wear metallic sneakers….the metallic is dressy and shows that you have the dressy spirit, but the sneakers would be comfy (assuming they are comfortable to you)….maybe a bad idea….feel free to completely ignore…
like the dress and I think its a definite possibility…maybe add a bright scarf or shawl if you want to go lighter, brighter

Star

Veteran

Yes this dress is wedding appropriate and a cool dress. Still not a fan of boots for a wedding though. I kind of like kkards idea of 'dressy' metallic sneakers, maybe with black fishnet stockings (small holes).

CarolS

Veteran

I hear you all on the inappropriateness of my footwear. I am not unwilling to wear something dressier, but am unable to FIND something dressier my foot can tolerate. These so far are the VERY BEST options I have been able to come up with.

KKards -- Thanks for the suggestion. I know I have no choice but to think outside the box of traditional wedding guest attire.

If I had a dressy silver sneaker, I might consider it with pants. I'd wear boots with the dress before sneakers of any kind, I think.

Here's another dress I've had for years and worn to a few weddings. I've never loved it, but it has been a default. It has little jet beads sewn all over. This kind of thing doesn't work well without proper heels, but I've plunked the boots on with it just to see how bad it is.

Also a couple of pant options. The pants need hemming. The white blouse is a PITA to tuck because of a built in cami.

This post has 4 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Star

Veteran

I love the 2nd dress with the topper in pic 2.

LaPed

Veteran

Carol, I honestly wouldn’t worry about “appropriate” footwear these days. My experience with weddings this year has been that, even with a dress code, pretty much anything goes. People are way more comfort-focused due to pandemic life, and most are just thrilled to be able to get together at all after so much isolation. It will be your smile the hosts remember, not the shoes.

I’ve attended a few weddings this year, both in-person and remote. Some casual and one billed as formal, but even at the “formal” one attire ran almost the full gamut In terms of footwear, no sneakers or Birks, but plenty of Doc Martens, Blundstones, flat sandals, espadrilles, western boots, etc. No stilettos and only a few wedges and pumps. I wore bronze mary janes with a low block heel and felt appropriate. Honestly any of your outfits would have fit right in. YMMV of course and you know your hosts better than I do, but IME our collective sense of dressing up has shifted substantially over the past year and a half. I like the idea of a burgundy complement using the moto and the new oxfords, assuming they fit well.

cat2

Veteran

I like 2, the dress and the new jacket both say festive. Could you get your broken pearl earring repaired? Pearls are so great for a wedding.

Jonesy

Veteran

I'm not seeing what you are seeing because I think a lot of these options look fab! I agree with LaPed about footwear too (note: I am absolutely not a traditionalist when it comes to weddings and wedding attire, or formalwear in general--I think that oftentimes, the person at the event whose style is genuine to herself, funky, and slightly outside the norm has everyone's attention!), and I personally love the black dress options with your tall black boots! Toss on a bold, blingy, festive necklace and boom! Done and done :).

12