What to wear to a funeral? - YouLookFab Forum

What's appropriate for a close family member's funeral? I'm lucky that I'm 40 years old and haven't been to a funeral since I was a very young child. My grandmother has Alzheimer's/dementia and is not expected to live through the night. She lives in Chicago along with the majority of my extended family. I would normally ask my mom what to wear but she's flying out this afternoon to try to see her mother before she passes and I don't want to bother her (My mom has been splitting her time between NM and Chicago for the last 3-4 months and just got back 2 weeks ago, so this isn't quite as tragic as it might sound). This is not unexpected as she's been very ill for a long time.

Would the outfit in #1 work, especially if I added a black cardigan or blazer? I also have the black long-sleeved dress but it might be too warm for it since it's almost June.

Thanks for your help!

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11 years ago

Quietgirl

Veteran

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Either one looks fine, I personally lean toward #1 with a blazer. I have heard that you don't need to stick with black...navy or gray would be good as well... that you just don't want to wear something that draws excessive attention.

Since funerals can be stressful on the emotions, wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Louise

So sorry to hear about your grandmother x
Either works for me though my favourite is #1 with a blazer or cardi x

carambola

I am sorry about your grandmother.
I think #1 with a blazer would be perfectly appropriate.

Anonymous

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. I think 1 and a blazer would be perfectly appropriate.

texstyle

(website)

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I agree with the others that #1 with a blazer or other light topper would be perfect.

Thistle

I am very sorry for your loss.

I live north of Chicago in Milwaukee, and it has been in the low to mid 70s and might get to 80 on Sunday. Mornings are still quite cool, usually upper 40s to low 50s. I suspect Chicago is a bit warmer as it a hour or so south of us (excluding traffic!) Not sure if you woudl find it warm compared to where you live.

I think #1 would work for a funeral, although I am a total conservative and would probably not wear a print.

I'm sorry, Sara. I think your first outfit will work with a blazer. You will probably be seated in a special section so not just one of the crowd of mourners. If there is a burial, and funeral dinner, you will be part of that too, along with probably seeing cousins and aunts and uncles and such. If your family doesn't go with you, be sure to bring pictures of them. Your mother may want you to add photos to a photo collage, something that is popular now at funerals. As a granddaughter, you may also be asked to do a reading or something.

crutcher

I am so very sorry.....The next few days will be hard on all of you...Your outfit number 1 with a blazer is appropriate to me...Be sure you have comfortable shoes for walking in the cemetery...I send you good thoughts as you go through this difficult time...

rachylou

My prayers for your family. #1 with a black blazer would be very nice. Maybe a black top underneath?

Liz

Hmm..I'm going against the grain here, and I'm not usually the most conservative of a group. But is it possible that you have a dark neutral skirt you could wear with #1? All depends on your family and social group. The high heels, and cropped fitted pants are very fashionable but would be too form-fitting/flattering for me to feel comfortable in at a funeral. They might also read as casual, in some groups. However, you'll know your family norms, so do what will work best for your family. Also, a funeral day can end up being very long, so go for long-term comfort in your clothes and shoes.

Sara L.

Thanks everyone for your help! I feel sort of dumb for not knowing what's appropriate. I have different slighter looser tapered pants (#1) that I could wear with low-heeled boots or I can wear these wide-legged black pants (#2) which have a tweedy texture that doesn't show up in the photo.

The only black skirt I have is a black pencil skirt that's so new I've never worn it. I'd rather wear pants because I'll definitely have the baby with me (still nursing so I can't leave him overnight) and maybe the other boys. It depends on when the funeral is scheduled whether me and the baby fly out alone or we all drive.

Aquamarine

I think the very first one you posted (with the black and white print) would be absolutely fine with a blazer. Or out of the second set, the cobalt one would also be fine. I have, unfortunately, been to a few funerals recently and either outfit would be perfect. You'd be surprised at the wide range of attire people wear...both family and visitors.

Nebraskim

I am sorry for your loss. I like the image in original 1 (slim black pants and patterned top) esp. if you add a jacket. I live in Nebraska, hardly fashion forward, and no one would look askance at slim fit pants (unless they are workout gear like) at a funeral. Your comfort on a sad day is important. And don't be afraid of more color, unless your faith tradition forbids.

I like the wide legged pants of your second set best. Think of dressing to please your mother. What would she like to see you wearing? Your mother will be showing you off to the rest of the family. I know, but that's the way it is. Someone is sure to be snapping lots of photos. If the rest of your family go, have you thought about what they will wear?

lyn*

I agree with Joy -- do what your mom would want you to wear to her mother's funeral.

Ornella

Sara, I'm sorry about your grandmother.
Can my old post be of any help?

In any case, I think if you keep within boundaries of modest and subtle outfit, then you cannot overdress. This is family funeral.

Beth Ann

So sorry, Sara. I just attended a funeral this morning, although it was for a member of our church --- a 90 year old veteran who landed on the beach at Normandy.

Next week is slated to be quite warm -- mid 80's and humid, until Thursday, when 70's and rain moves in. Hope that helps.

As for clothing: I think the first outfit with a blazer would work, as would the purple/wide leg outfit. Comfort is key with a baby! I think it is terrific that you are making the effort to travel with baby on short notice. Your mom will appreciate it, I'm sure.

Thank you for all your help in this! I'm sorry for being so unclear but I wouldn't wear the two later outfits I posted - just the pants with the blouse from the first outfit.

I have a black dress that would be perfect - It's fairly simple, almost a sheath, but looser, but I can't nurse the baby in it, so it won't work.

Joy - Thank you for posting what to expect at the funeral. There will be lots of family around that I haven't seen in many years. Taking along some pictures of the kids is a great idea.

Debbie

I'm so sorry. I think one would be fine. With the baby I think pants would be a good idea.

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