Hi Angie and everybody,

I am finally delurking after reading and following threads for several months. The main reason for delurking is that I have a serious problem: what do I wear to a black-tie dinner in Oxford university in March???

A little background: I was invited as a "famous researcher" (translation: I am giving a talk there on that day, so they probably felt uncomfortable not to invite me; I am really not that famous). Men who are college fellows (the dinner will be held in a specific college in Oxford) will wear tux with black tie and academic gowns. I am a guest, so I am not getting a gown (life is unfair ). Women are supposed to wear "fancy dresses". The invitation says "evening dress". There will champagne before dinner, and the invitation looks horribly formal.

Anyway ... On one hand, since I am not somebody's date there, I don't have to charm anyone, I just have to look presentable. On the other hand, I do want to look good and appropriate.

A little (mixed) background about me: I am 35 (36 soon), married with three kids, size 10-12 US, height 5'3'', dark hair, brown eyes, fair skin (I am wearing winter color scheme), somewhere between hourglass and an apple shape - I have very large bust (size 32H), narrow shoulders, narrow back, a little bit of waist (I am short-waisted and have a short rise), not so much hips, a sizable tush, large thighs, and long legs (I never have to hem regular length pants). I live in Israel, where the culture of formal dressing is non-existent.

My direction now is this: I bought black classic high-heeled (within reason) pumps and a pewter clutch. I ordered two pashminas to see which one will be better: cranberry and silver. The main thing that still needs to be taken care of is the dress.

I ordered this one:
http://www.bravissimo.com/prod.....tails.aspx
- the fit was really poor for some reason (usually their stuff fits me very well): the skirt too puffy and all that fabric at waist added bulk where I certainly don't need it.
I also ordered this one:
http://www.bravissimo.com/prod.....tails.aspx
This one actually fits like a dream, but it is clearly a day dress
Then I ordered this one:
http://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/S.....Dress.html
in black, and the fit was horrible: way too little in the chest area, bulky at the waist, and way too much skirt.
Now I am waiting for the Sofia dress from Jcrew:
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Brows...../62983.jsp
in black.
And I am very nervous.

So, first of all, do you think this dress (assuming it will fit me ok) is sufficiently dressy for the occasion? Second of all, how is Jcrew sizing compared, say, to Banana Republic? Third, do I wear hose with the ensemble? If yes, black sheer or skin tone sheer?

Any other ideas in case the Sofia dress will not fit? Preferably something that can be shipped to Israel, though I can also use the services of an international carrier if needed (this is what I am doing with the Sofia dress).

Thanks!! I am going to bed now, but I will read all your replies in the morning.