What to wear as my best friend's bridesmaid.

My best friend is getting married next weekend, and I'm her bridesmaid! She's been extremely low-key about the wedding. No coordinated outfits and I'm her only attendant I believe.

It's time to decide for sure what I'm wearing, and I can't make up my mind. It's a late afternoon ceremony (5:30pm). She and her guy will be in traditional wedding garb (white dress, tux). The wedding and reception are described as "Dress to impress! Or simply to be comfortable" which means she's hoping everyone will enjoy the chance to dress up, but with no particular dress code. Most of our friends' weddings have been similar so I know what this will probably look like.

The dresses I'm considering are fairly casual. The first is perfect for outdoor afternoon weddings - in fact, I wore it as an attendant in my other best friend's wedding last summer. It's an Eileen Fisher linen slip dress, silvery grey with subtle metallic threads.
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/514536326148163528/

Another option is to buy a new dress. This AllSaints white silk shirtdress with an inkblot-eseque print caught my eye:
http://www.us.allsaints.com/wo.....ategory=22
On me, it is knee-length, so the length is entirely appropriate. A shirtdress is more casual than I'd choose for many weddings, but I think for this one it's an option.

I have another dress (also white silk with black inkblots... I detect a theme) which I love, but it shows a bit more skin than seems ideal. I have no good photos, but here are two bad ones:
https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcd.....7676236640
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akam.....8965816516

I've asked the bride what type of look she'd prefer, but I'm curious what you all would choose. (I do have a few other fancy dresses, too, and I can justify the cost of a new dress if that's the right choice.)

11 years ago

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I have a very specific viewpoint on this topic. And that is, that at events like these, there are always a lot of pictures. Out of a lifetime of experience, I have come to the opinion that it is best to wear something fairly timeless. So, so many pictures, I look at myself and think, what was I thinking? There is a picture of me at a friend's wedding where I wore a vintage dress. It doesn't look dated the way so many of my other pictures do. Along those lines, my vote would be to wear the EF dress. The Allsaints is trendier. Even though it is a shirtdress, the cut is very now, with the extended shoulders, oversized fit, and shirttail hemline. The backless dress is pretty but if you are hesitating about the level of skin showing, don't do it. Your hesitation is telling you something. (You don't want to upstage the bride -- that kind of thing.)

Greyscale

Yes, that's exactly why I worry about the backless (and sideless...) dress. It is very tasteful but very noticeable, and I don't want to stand out too much.

I guess I forgot to mention the downside of the timeless linen: it's on its last legs. I am particular about things not looking worn, and this still passes, but barely. The fabric is a very loose weave so some seams are pulling apart. I mended it as best I could but it's not really something that can be fixed. And someone spilled red wine all down the side at my brother's wedding and I can still just barely see where the spill was. I don't think anyone else would notice it. If I do wear the linen dress, this will be its last important event, I think.

Active Member

I vote for the silk ink blot shirt dress. I think it will look stunning on you and it has great back detail.

Deborah

I would choose the Allsaints shirt dress. Your style skews on the fringe and even though the shirt dress is kind of trendy now, I think you will wear it in a way that allows the look to transcend trend. The EF dress looks just a tad dated to me:(

Angie

Fashion Stylist

I like the All Saints dress best too - if it isn't too short.

jackiec

I agree with CocoLion. I do like all the dresses so of course if you felt the EF was looking a bit worn I'd go with the AllSaints.

I also forgot to say that I agree with Denise.

Diana

I like the allsaints, although I do have some reservations about a shirt dress being too casual. But see what the bride says!

Rambling Ann

I'm not much of a traditionalist, except when it comes to wearing white at other people's weddings. Even if the bride isn't wearing white, I can't bring myself to do it. Even if the bride says she's ok with it. That's not to say you shouldn't, just what would color my input (unintended really bad pun, sorry).

Would you replace the grey dress with something similar when its time on this earth has expired? If you've worn it out, it might be worth looking for its next generation now.

Anonymous

I like the Allsaints, especially since it sounds like it would be longer on you than on the model.

I don't think the EF is a bad option either, but since it sounds like you've already worn it to at least two weddings of people close to you, I especially like the idea of a different dress for this one. This may just be me, but I always feel like wearing the same thing to too many special events of the same type kind of dilutes the specialness somehow.

Or I like Rambling Ann's idea of looking for something that could eventually replace the EF.

The bride has spoken, and the Eileen Fisher wins out. I learned that she is wearing a sundress style, the groom is wearing a 2-piece suit not a tux, and the setting is upscale-rustic, so I think the linen will fit well.

I'm a little sad because I was hoping I could justify buying the AllSaints one, but all in all it's probably good that I'm not spending all that money. I agree with all of you that it's a neat dress and I'm sure I'd wear it again.

(It's definitely not too short. I am always amazed at how short my legs are! It is, however, sheer enough that it would require a full slip, which I do not own yet.)

Aubergine, I hear you on not wearing the same thing too many times. I do feel a bit bad that my two friends' wedding photos will have me in the same dress - the bride from last summer has a photo of their ceremony as her facebook cover photo, including me holding the chuppah in that dress. So I see the photo all the time.

There's a small chance I'll buy the AllSaints one, bring it to see which she prefers in person, and likely return it when she chooses the Eileen Fisher. I can buy it from my local Bloomingdale's which does real returns, unlike the AllSaints store.

The bride's choice definitely wins!

It's amazing how Facebook means there's really no escaping anything you've ever worn to a big event, isn't it?

Since you're an attendant, you'll be in all of the photos of the ceremony. So I'd have someone take photos of you standing at whatever angle you'll be at, and decide based on that.

Oh I just saw the bride chose: much easier for you! Have fun at the wedding & that's a beautiful dress. I'm sure you'll look great.

catgirl

If I could wear the EF dress style (I can't because of the bra issue) I would wear that kind of thing all summer. Great choice by the bride!

unfrumped

What E said!
I tend to think of the AllSaints as a lot of white, next to the bride, since the print part is lower and often out of photo range, but it's a very pretty silhouette and good for lots of camera angles. The EF is very classic so hope its threads hold up for one more time!

LOL about the photos from two weddings. My sisters married within 4 months of each other and convinced my mom to wear the same MOB dress to both weddings She liked it, why not use it twice. She did raise a pack of girls that understand the value of a dollar!

rachylou

I like the grey... but then when my best friend married and I was her made of honour, I also chose a grey gown. Don't know. Beginning to feel I lack creativity... lol.

The wedding was a wonderful success. I wore the silver-grey dress. It looked great and was the perfect tone for the event. By coincidence, the rest of the wedding party also wore grey (one guy in a gorgeous grey linen blazer, one girl in a fancier grey dress).

The groom's sister-in-law wore a pure white dress that was a bit lacy, which I thought was a little bit of a faux pas but I doubt the bride cared at all. But it made me glad I hadn't worn the AllSaints dress much as I'd have loved an excuse to buy it.

Also! I have finally discovered the marvels of steamers. I brought a little travel steamer and not only did it get all the wrinkles out of my linen dress, it also managed to de-wrinkle the groom's father's shirt.

I'll post a photo when I get one.

Suz

Fabulous! I missed this thread earlier but I'm glad it all worked out.

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