What to wear as guest at cross-cultural wedding plus Haldi ceremony

Hi all, wondering if anyone has any experience. It seems our family is becoming quite global. As many of you know my daughter married her Vietnamese American man in 2019 and we celebrated in Vietnam. We wore Western clothing but she wore a traditional Vietnamese wedding outfit.
Now our half Kiwi half Canadian nephew ( born and raised in Saskatoon) is marrying his Indian fiancée next May, she is I think born in Canada but her parents are from maybe a northern and western part of India. It will be a Hindu wedding and have the Haldi ( turmeric) ceremony a few days before. Of course I have already enquired about clothing and have been told that only groom’s immediate family will be asked to wear saris for the females and male Indian clothing for the males. I have looked up several websites and can find I should wear bright colours ( yay! ) and yellow for the Haldi ceremony. I have bought a dress for the wedding that will also be suitable for other wear in case someone yet decides I need a sari, and some thrifted yellow items for the Haldi ceremony because these could apparently get yellow staining on them? What I found so far is a yellow printed top with T-shirt under and pale yellow pants, but can’t see any pics of women in pants on any site. Total thrifting outlay so far only $13 for all that so no worries if it is wrong.
Anyone have any ideas?
( I am aunt of the groom, by marriage- my husband is the blood relative).

1 year ago

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

Whilst you likely won't look out of place in trousers I'd probably go with either a skirt or tunic over trousers instead, if you're unsure.

Good call on not wearing anything too precious for the haldi ceremony though! I can't comment too much on that part though, since I've never been to one.

Whilst I doubt you'll be asked to specifically wear a sari on short notice (especially if you aren't the groom's immediate family), I'd recommend bringing a nice shawl/ scarf that could double as a dupatta in a pinch if need be (so a longer, rectangular shape). This is the advice that I gave to my friends at my wedding (I brought an extra scarf, just in case) & they appreciated it (didn't feel out of place on the day, even in a top & trousers).

Jenni NZ

Thanks Zaeobi I have a couple of shawls that could fit that brief. The dress has soft flutter sleeves but I was also going to wear my 1988 fuchsia Thai silk blouse over to be like a jacket, the floral dress has some fuchsia flowers amongst others. I wanted fuchsia sandals but have to return 2 pairs I have tried, for poor fit.
I was very pleased to get 3 items for $13 at the St John Ambulance thrift store today and if I have to donate them back it is a good cause.

That sounds like a plan, but I'd try the dress out with the topper first (to make sure the sleeves don't feel uncomfortable layered underneath it). What about orange sandals?

Would be nice to see photos of your thrifted purchases (even if it's just a flatlay) if you can, just to get an idea of the direction

Helena

Well I have no experience here so no advice but this sounds like a lovely occasion! Enjoy it!

notsaf

My SIL was born in India and has a large Indian family now mostly in the US, so I happily have a lot of experience dressing for these sorts of events! Zaeobi's advice about wearing a scarf draped over one-shoulder shawl is a great one: it's a nice nod to traditional Indian dressing without looking like you are in costume. I generally wear very classic, preppy-ish European clothes in everyday life, but I do try to incorporate more flowing fabrics and embellished details when I am going to an Indian family event. There is generally no expectation that the non-Indians will wear traditionally dress (though I did get to borrow a full sari for sitting on the dais at my brother's wedding), so I think if you can find festive clothing that has some movement and makes you comfortable, you will be golden. A suit for you husband will also be fine, in my experience.

Thanks notsaf that is really helpful. I was wondering what my husband would need to do.
I will show the outfit I have planned on the forum later with the possible shawls as well.
And yes Zaeobi I can do a flat lay of the Haldi ideas perhaps tonight ( it’s morning here but am heading to work). The thrifted items are drying after being washed, right now.

Suz

I have no advice to offer, alas, but this is so exciting!

Can you wear the yellow shoes at the ceremony?

Thanks Suz I wore the yellow loafers for the shopping trip yesterday and they look good with the thrifted items- also my “gold thread” sandals have a lot of yellow so I have 2 options for that.

niveda tulasi

Member

Finding a balance between honouring all traditions and showcasing your individual flair is crucial whether you're a guest at a cross-cultural wedding or Haldi ceremony. Choose modestly appropriate formal or semi-formal outfit for the wedding. Think about including cultural characteristics from both backgrounds in your attire or accessories.

Joy

How exciting! I have no recommendations except to find out what one does not wear, like red to a Chinese wedding. I think green is a bad color for some ethnic weddings, but not sure why. Some colors are bad luck.

Thanks to the new commenters, the events happened last week and I posted photos, I believe what I chose was appropriate for both events.

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