What to do with the wrong bracelet

The whole time my husband and I were engaged, I had my eye on a sapphire bracelet from Blue Nile. It was several round sapphires spaced out along a silver wire or extremely fine chain. The setting was almost invisible. I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever, and since my husband is always really obvious when he's going to surprise me, I knew he was getting it for me.

A few days before the wedding, he presented me with a sapphire bracelet, but it wasn't the one I'd wanted at all. He'd taken his mother to pick it out, and her taste is not mine. She is way into Brighton, loved the "Italian" charm bracelets, etc. Not my style.

So the bracelet I have has hexagonal sapphires separated by textured x's of shiny silver-colored metal. I feel it is ostentatious but cheap looking all at once, like it came from Mervyn's, which it did. It was not returnable.

Unfortunately, I showed my disappointment and hurt my husband's feelings. Five years later, the piece still doesn't please me and has bad feelings attached, but I don't know what to do with it. I put it on sometimes when we go out to dinner, but I still hate it and frankly feel like a jerk for feeling that way.

So is there a way to salvage the situation? We can't afford a replacement, and I can't find one like the one I loved, anyway. I can't change the shape of the stones, but might it be worth it to have a jeweler attempt to rework them and approximate the look I want even with the wrong stones? I'm afraid I'd still yearn after the round stones, though... This is made all the more difficult because I'm not usually (never!) such an emotional crab about clothes or accessories!

Any advice appreciated.

15 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

With something that has such bad memories and connotations, I'd sell it (ebay, pawn, consignment- whatever) and use the money to make a new memory together.

modgrl

(website)

Oh no! Your husband must have gone shopping with mine that day. He did the same thing. He wanted to surprise me for our anniversary. He special ordered a bracelet with our kids' birthstones going all around the band. Red and green stones.
Our anniversary is right before Christmas. So he presented a jewish girl with this very expensive, thoughtful and ridiculously ugly xmas bracelet. I tried to ease the disappointment as much as possible by telling him that I really appreciate the thought, it was a great idea but it just didn't work out and I couldn't wear it. Luckily the jeweler was a friend and he agreed to take it back even thought it was custom made for me.

I would try to take it to a jeweler and see if you can put the gold and stones toward another piece that you would actually wear. if you have a picture or can draw the other bracelet, maybe they can make it for you.

Steph

My suggestions would be to see if a jeweler can re-set it into something that you like, or to just not wear it. I would only get it reset, however, if you like the shape of the stones enough that you will wear the new bracelet, since it probably won't be super cheap to have that work done. Will it hurt your husband's feelings if you have the stones reset?

Five years is a long time to wear something you don't like. Can you just talk to your husband about the fact that it isn't your style? I admit I have trouble understanding when people's significant others are hurt when they buy something like jewelry that their partner doesn't like. It's just a matter of personal preference. My boyfriend once bought me a piece I didn't like, and I was just upfront about it and we exchanged it for something else.

My BF had pearl drop earrings made for me years ago. It is a style I would not choose. But he took the time and loving effort into designing them and I wear them proudly even though I would never buy them if I spied them in a jewelry case anywhere. I suppose that's a little different than him having his mother help choose something out of a case! I could have them reworked into a design I find more pleasing. But I think it would hurt his feelings more than it's worth having a piece of jewelry that is tailored to my taste. Just my two cents.

ETA: He did buy me a big, gaudy necklace/pin for my 35th birthday that I gently told him was too big and not my style. No hard feelings about taking that one back. I think the difference for me was his sitting down with the jeweler and designing the earrings especially for me.

rae

Oh, such a sticky situation! Since feelings have already been hurt, and attached such negativity to the bracelet, I would either resell or reset, depending on how much you like the stones... and how much it would cost to rework the materials. Sometimes reworking is not the most economical option. But yeah, IMO, the feeling-damage has been done, so there's no point in holding onto it as-is.

Louise

I think it's probably best to either get it reworked into something else or sell it and buy a new piece. There is no point wearing it and feeling awkward x

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