What to do when - YouLookFab Forum

Angie

Biscuitsmom, it's time to post some outfits! We're going to prove those feelings wrong. I guarantee it

We can really help you take control of these feelings, sweet lady. We just need a little of your help to make this happen.

12 years ago

Inge

(website)

Moderator

First of all, BIG, BIG hugs, BM!! That is just a wretched way to feel-((

Also: by starting this thread and asking for input, you've already taken one very big positive step. We are here to help and support you, and we know that you are a super lovely and fab lady! (sometimes we can't see ourselves objectively, and that's when you need other people, like all the YLF lasses, to help you through that).

One small thing that always helps cheer me up is to pick a scarf or a top in a bright, happy colour, ideally in a fabric that you love and feels luscious. Somehow, by seeing that "colour that makes me smile" near my face, and feeling how lovely it feels, I suddenly feel more elegant and stylish too.
If you love bags, shoes or jewellery, I think this could work in the same way. Try adding at least one item to your outfits that you love and that make you feel happy. Perhaps that could be a second step?

12 years ago

biscuitsmom

Veteran

You are so kind and sweet...I just feel beyond help. I'll see if DH can help me post pics.. hope it doesn't crash your site

12 years ago

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Thank you so much too, Inge! I will try that

12 years ago

Inge

(website)

Moderator

ETA: and yes, I completely second Angie's suggestion: do post a few outfits, so we can give specific input and help you see how fab you are.

12 years ago

shedev

Veteran

I second Angie, I looked at your past posts to see a picture and didnt find a single one. I'm terribly unphotogenic so I was very hesitant to post my first WIW. It gets much easier after a bit. I believe that everyone has some things about them that are beautiful and we are our own worst critics.

12 years ago

Kim

Veteran

Hey!! Don't talk that way about my friend!

Seriously though, you are beautiful on the inside from what I have seen on this site. How can that possibly not shine through? We all see it even when you don't.

Post a few pics and as an exercise in positivee thinking tell us one thing that you like about it, not just what you don't like

And like that famous Dove commercial suggests, be kinder to yourself. You are so much harder on yourself that you need to be. ((((hugs))))

12 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Angie knows of what she speaks. Me? I stop talking to myself and get someone else to talk to me. Like, as Inge points out, you've just done (!!)

A person can get trapped in their own head. Doesn't always do to think.

12 years ago

Glory

Veteran

Biscuit mom you are not alone in those feelings, and I'm sending you some love and positive feelings.

12 years ago

Echo

Veteran

You are not alone in your feelings at all, but I do guarantee you are your own worst critic. The things that you might dwell on and never fail to see, others might not notice at all. Don't keep all the negative self-talk in your head - it becomes an echo chamber that makes you feel lower and lower.

And Kim is very right. None of us would ever allow someone else to talk about you the way you speak about yourself. We know you are a beautiful person inside and out and will defend you against anyone who says such things - even yourself.

((hugs)) Post pics. Let us help.

12 years ago

rae

(website)

Veteran

BIG hug.

Angie is right, BM. Pics don't lie, don't sugar-coat, and most importantly don't say mean things just to hurt (from past posts, it seems like there are people in your life who sometimes do this). You can get a real objective view and pinpoint what it is that makes you feel bad - and once you figure it out, you have the power to turn it right around. Really hope you can get the photos sorted.

12 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh...it is so horrid to feel that way. I'm so sorry you are feeling low.

And I agree absolutely with what the others have said. We are here to support you, and we know you are beautiful inside and out!

12 years ago

kkards

Veteran

sorry you are feeling that way. please follow the advice the others have given, and allow us to help you to feel better about yourself.

12 years ago

Mona

Veteran

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I believe we all struggle with it every now and then. Do post some pics on YLF, it will make you feel better.

12 years ago

Anonymous

Oh please let us rally around you! I know I have felt like that before and it's such a terrible, defeating feeling. It will pass, and we can help. If you post some pictures, we can point out all of your lovely features that you can't see, because you're only concentrating on things you perceive as flaws.

12 years ago

missvee

Veteran

Everyone gets down on themselves from time to time. Try not to dwell on your supposed *faults*. I can guarantee that most people are completely unaware of them. Please take Angie's advice and post a couple of pics. People here are so kind and helpful I'm sure we'll have you feeling a bit better in no time. In the meantime here's a hug {{{}}} you are not alone!

12 years ago

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I really hope you do put up pictures and allow this amazing group to help you define what isn't working and what might work better! The support you will get and the insights and detailed explanations will surely be life altering!!!

12 years ago

Lyn D.

Veteran

Hi BM. I am sorry you are feeling this way!
Please take time to read this link: http://www.lastmomonearth.com/.....girls.html
I came across this though a lovely Fabber, and you may substitute your Fur-Kid for girls when you consider the words.

12 years ago

Debra

Veteran

Hi Biscuitsmom I think you are being wayyyyyy tooooooo hard on yourself.
All of these lovely ladies give the very best advice, have a read through Hil's post where she asked for others ideas on what to wear, some great suggestions she may never have considered.
Your turn now

12 years ago

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

I invite that voice in my head to offer some constructive criticism. In the deafening silence that follows, I can ask myself, is this really true? As several of my friends are wont to say "feelings aren't facts."

Just the facts, ma'am. And make yourself ready to accept that you might just be as beautiful on the outside as your loving posts show you are inside.

12 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Big hugs to you & Angie is right; getting some outside feedback is always good. You also need to take extra care of yourself when you feel like this imo. What would you say to a friend who has these thoughts? That's what you need to say to yourself.

12 years ago

deb

Veteran

I understand. It is so awful to feel this way. Hang in there, post some pics, and we all will try and help.

12 years ago

Debbie

Veteran

I am inn a restaurant but I had to log in. I agree with whoever said don't talk about my friend like that.
Please please consider letting us help you. You are kind enough to help encourage us on our style journey. Allow us to do the same.
You are a kind and giving person. Allow us to give back to you.
I care about you!

12 years ago

donnat

Veteran

We are here for you."hugs,

12 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Can you feel that huge YLF hug around you BM? Let us help you realize how fab you are. Angie would never steer you wrong.

12 years ago

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Sending some hugs from me and "Gus" (the silly black lab in my profile picture).

So sorry that you're feeling this way, and I hope you feel better about things already.

In terms of "what to do" - I'd like to suggest taking a really good look though some of Angie's outfit formulas and making it a mission to get the components together to come up with one fab outfit. It could be one of the older MOTG formulas, or a more recent formula, such as "The Arty Kimono with Denim"

http://youlookfab.com/2013/05/.....ith-denim/

I remember when I tried to come up with a few outfits based on Angie's MOTG formulas from a few years ago, and you know what? Once I had all the pieces/components together (for just one outfit), I felt on-trend, stylish and like I had a new lease on life. From just one outfit! And it was an outfit that I couldn't have put together on my own, but reading Angie's blog posts helped me come up with a 'formula' to try and it helped a whole lot.

I recommend trying to come up with just one outfit that makes you feel good.

In terms of the "Arty Kimono with Denim Formula" (one I haven't tried yet), you could get:

http://www.kohls.com/product/p.....-jeans.jsp

http://www.jcpenney.com/dotcom.....oopneck-po

http://www.zara.com/us/en/trf/.....88045.html

From Angie's "Finds" collection:
http://www.zappos.com/sam-edelman-trina

Alas, I haven't come up with a decent belt or handbag to go with Angie's "Arty Kimono and Denim" formula (I'm no stylist), but you get the idea.

I guess what I'm saying is that it takes *just one outfit* to feel a million times better. And this is what I recommend to you - see if you can put together one fab outfit based on one of Angie's fantastic outfit formulas. I'm willing to bet that this will go a long way toward getting rid of those awful negative feelings that you're experiencing lately.

In closing, best wishes for feeling a whole lot better ASAP!

editing to add: I have no idea why there is a "mentioned in this post" showing the wrong shoe...just ignore that part? The shoe I *want* to mention is the one in Angie's latest 'finds" - the Sam Edelman "Trina" sandal (properly shown in pic #4). There seems to be a feature here on YLF that says "mentioned in this post", which is all well and good, except it's showing a shoe that I haven't mentioned. GAH - sometimes things don't post the way you want them to.

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12 years ago

pil

Veteran

Biscuitsmom, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. My pugs and I send hugs your way too.

12 years ago

Hil

(website)

Veteran

BM - this feeling sucks... I get it completely! Have been there so often. But life is too short to spend feeling like you are unattractive. Because you're not! Post a pic and let's get started in making you feel better!

Also... Sometimes, when I feel awful, a trip to the hairdresser does wonders for me. A new do can make the world of difference about our perceptions of ourselves.

12 years ago

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

BM, we have all been touched by YLF magic and I sincerely hope you'll soon experience that too. You know this is the best and the gentlest and the most respectful and most constrictive place ever. Take your time, but also hurry up and don't miss out any longer on feeling as fab and good as you deserve.

*hugs*

12 years ago

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