What the young things wear - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

What the young things wear

Adelfa

Veteran

I just recently became aware of an unsuspected generational divide in casual dress, and not the one I would have thought. Over the holiday weekend I was at a family wedding in Oregon. The rehearsal dinner was a barbecue in a park, and dress was said to be "shorts and jeans."

I dressed in white cropped boyfriend khakis with a TDF pale pink fluid tee. Every other woman my age was also dressed in a cute cropped pants outfit. But the young things wore dresses! Every woman under 35 was in a dress or skirt. If dress, usually short, if skirt, usually maxi. I was so surprised that there was such unanimity among the age groups about what to wear to a shorts and jeans rehearsal dinner!

Fast forward to tonight. DD mistakenly invited me to a church function. The mistake lay in her not realizing that the function was for "Young Adults aged 18-39." I arrived a bit early in white jeans, suitably styled for work. One of my better smart casual outfits, I thought. Well darn it all if the dozen young women already there weren't in cute dresses! They were casual, but not bare. Just darling summer dresses with some waist definition. The ocean wind was whipping around but of course they didn't have toppers, because they'd gotten the Angie memo that toppers don't do dresses any favors.

When did all the young things start wearing dresses for casual occasions? And when did women their mothers' age stop? Have you seen this?

Dressing

67 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I have no idea, Adelfa, but this is a funny and surprising story! I would have been as puzzled as you are.

rabbit

Veteran

This was in Oregon? In a park and a beach? My guess is they were wearing summer dresses because they could. Some summers we have a very narrow window of hot sunny weather and especially toward the beginning of the season, if you are doing something social, bust out the summer frocks!

It could also have to do with their particular social group, were they fairly similarly dressed stylistically?

But it doesn't really explain why the older women weren't going that route, except maybe they were focused more on the comfort and casual aspects?

Adelfa

Veteran

Rabbit, excellent point about Oregon women busting out summer dresses because they could. Also to clarify, the church incident occurred in the Los Angeles area, while the wedding was in Hood River.

Firecracker, I was sad that the middle aged women made cropped pants seem like the frumpy choice! I wasn't expecting that.

Gigi

Veteran

Wow, that does seem strange. I always assume that younguns think that dresses are "dressy" and not casual.

I'm actually really happy to hear this! I think women need to take back dresses as casual wear.

I would have worn the exact same things as you had!

unfrumped

Veteran

Adelfa, I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I recently went to a casual party , no dress code stated that I knew of, so had to wing it. Summer evening, indoor-outdoor. Would include younger ladies near 30 and older up to 60's plus spouses. I was concerned that it might be warm go long pants. I didn't have what I thought was the right casual summer dress or skirt. I actually wore a long white shorts, cuffed, belted, outfit with flats, nice linen knit top , casual jewelry. It was at the time my best combo of " smart casual for warm outdoor possible barbecue" type event. I remember fretting just a bit and telling my husband, I will bet you that all the young ladies will wear dresses, except maybe one I've never seen in a dress.
Well, ALL were in dresses and all ladies above that age were in some sort of crops or pants.

Wedding showers I've realized are going to be dress- wearing events and I need to think whether I want to be the only pants- wearer ( even dressier pants) there. For me it's often a footwear issue-- most ladies in my circles wear open- toe shoes/ sandals and no hose with dresses ( spring and summer) so achieve that casual dress look, but I havent been able to maintain current- looking go- to outfits of that sort.

fuzzylogic

Veteran

Bwahaha! Great story! No sensible suggestions. Maybe the phase of the moon?
PS I love dresses! (37 years and counting!)

crutcher

Veteran

I love the stories...I hadn't notice ...my area is just getting lo ng maxi skirts and tops..Kind of slow..

shiny

Veteran

This doesn't surprise me. I see a lot of skirts & dresses around here right now too. If you shop at stores aimed at the younger crowd (ON, GAP, H&M, F21), you'll see a lot of maxi skirts & dresses for sale, mostly cotton knits. Dresses are economical for the younger budget - it's just one piece to buy. And young women are less concerned about hiding aging skin, which a sundress would show off.

My 21 year old wears a skirt or dress nearly every day. I think I saw her in jeans only once this summer, on a wet & rainy day. She prefers maxis or retro fit-and-flare styles. My 20 year old -- who's been somewhat of a tomboy preferring jeans -- has started wearing skirts and dresses in the past couple years. She doesn't like maxis. She likes the shorter flirtier twirly mini skirts, or at the knee length wrap dresses (which she totally rocks).

I'm 48 and in the summer I pretty much live in dresses, and have done so for a few years now. I run hot to begin with but combined with summer heat & hot flashes, I just find pants, no matter what material or how cropped, to be too hot and fussy. However at my age I need to be picky about my dresses - I need some structure, age-appropriate skin coverage, and the inexpensive knit dresses my daughters wear pill and wear out too fast.

So I may be the middle aged lady who appears overdressed because she's wearing a dress, not cropped pants or jeans and a tee shirt, but at least I'm cool and comfortable!

As for dress toppers, my go-to for casual wear is a jean jacket.

rute

Veteran

ah ah what a fun post. Young people dress better, they are more aware of fashion trends and what suit their bodies.

viva

Veteran

Based on my experience, you're right: dresses are really, really big with the young ones. Both of my DDs (19 and 22) have a ton and wear them a lot, as do their friends. I'm not exactly sure where it all comes from, except that in addition to the stores named above, Urban Outfitters and Free people also offer huge collections across a wide array of tastes. My younger DD is drawn to the hippie-type dresses and their ease, while my older likes more feminine dresses and being pretty. During spring and summer, I see them both in dresses several times a week.

Glory

Veteran

That is so interesting! I see the same thing here. There are loads of these casual dresses for this age group - super cute and very reasonably priced. I have 2 teen daughters and during the day they wear denim shorts with very cute tops. If they go anywhere at all they put on a casual summer dress. My youngest surprised me by purchasing a white lace summer dress which she "dresses down" with my jean vest.

lyn67

Veteran

Hmmm....almost 47 and still love dresses and skirts! Is that now a good or bad news:-)

Thistle

Veteran

Interesting post!

I definitely don't see that here. At a jeans and tee BBQ this weekend, everyone was in jeans and tees. The jeans varied from long to shorts, but that seemed more based on ability to handle the cooler breezy weather. Age ranged from late 20s to probably mid 50s.

celia

Veteran

I am 40, right there on the border(I think) between a young thing and a sophisticated grownup. But most of my friends are in their 30's and bellow and I guess that for non-work occasions I get my clues from them because I would totally have worn a dress for the occasions you describe.
Granted, I do not look that good in shorts and only wear them if I really really need to.

Aubergine

Veteran

I kind of see the same thing too. I feel like I very rarely see women much older than I am (I'm 36) in dresses or skirts for anything but work or very fancy events, but younger women wear them all the time. Really not sure why that is, but agree that some of it might have to do with a lot of the dresses out there being the kind of cheap, thin knits that are easier to pull off if you're young and toned. And that it's sometimes easier to feel confident about showing off bare legs if you're younger.

For me personally, I'm going to hold onto wearing dresses as long as I possibly can. I don't think wearing nice lightweight pants and top in the summer looks frumpy at all, but I'd feel frumpy if I wore something like that to a dressy-ish event, if that makes sense. Especially since my version wouldn't be likely to be particularly cutting-edge.

rachylou

Veteran

What an interesting observation! Interesting, too, that they wore skirts and dresses to a shorts affair (i.e., pants).

It occurs to me that these casual occasions are probably the most formal ones that young people experience these days - and they don't know the burden of true formal.

jackiec

Veteran

Very interesting observation. Yes, I've seen this too around here. Rabbit makes a good point about wearing dresses b/c the window is so short and b/c they can. Same applies here in Vancouver. As soon as the weather warms up past say 15 degrees you see shorts and short dresses everywhere. I did notice a similar trend when we were at a destination wedding, however it was more of a difference in the styles. The younger set sports the shorter, twirlier dresses, rompers, lower tanks, and often sans bra with a peek of skin.

Gaylene

Veteran

I'm seeing the same thing--young women in breezy, casual dresses while older women are in crops of various lengths. Maybe it's because we older women think of dresses as "dressy", while young women think of a dress as something to pop on with a pair of sandals?

But what stopped me in my tracks, Adelfa, was your comment:
I was sad that the middle aged women made cropped pants seem like the frumpy choice! I wasn't expecting that.

A 40+ woman can look fabulous in a cute casual dress, but, on her, that dress will never have the same effect as it does on a 20-something. So why do we keep wanting to look like our daughters? Let them enjoy wearing their pretty summer dresses and let us smile seeing them in those dresses. But I really think it's time for older women to start realizing that we always look better when we confidently strut our own style. It's OK for the generations to look different--and different does not equal frumpy!

*end of rant*

Adelfa

Veteran

Gaylene, of course you're right. At these events I kept thinking, "What would I have done differently? What would I have worn if I knew exactly what everyone would be wearing tonight?" It was hard to come up with an answer that was any different. The dresses were quite breezy and unstructured. A lot of lightweight jersey. Not my best look. Plus did I really want to be the only woman my age in a little dress? No.

But I was still taken aback because I didn't realize that the cropped pants outfit would be so particular to my age group. I didn't realize that it would shout 50+. Yes, a bit frumpy. By comparison I wore the cobalt sheath to the wedding and there were four other women in cobalt sheaths from 25 to 65. No generational divide there.

So I think for me it was mainly about my surprise at the divide, not seeing it coming, rather than wanting to look like the young ones. I don't know if that makes sense?

Laurinda

Veteran

For some reason this thread got me remembering the short story The Girls in Their Summer Dresses by Irwin Shaw.

rachylou

Veteran

What a funny thought. I have no desire to see girls in cropped pants. Nor shorts for that matter. By the same token I don't want to see my 70+ mom in a skater (and I don't think she does either). I have no reason for this. I don't feel anyone is too old or young. I think it has more to do with station.

rabbit

Veteran

Interesting points, and I also see summer dresses EVERYWHERE in stores that tend to skew younger.

To be honest, part of the struggle I've had recently with wearing white (especially cropped) pants at 41, especially with a brightly colored or patterned top is that I associate them with frump, based on seeing decades of older women wearing this outfit in the summer.

Some of the women looked really great of course, but the overall general impression I took away was white cropped pants or long shorts = older traditional garb, or at least 'not fresh'. It was kind of the equivalent of guys in khakis -- practical and comfortable. I'm working to retrain my messed up perceptions and add a wildcard to this combination so it feels more 'ageless' and contemporary to my odd brain. Maybe I just need to wear long versions only? Hmm....

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I've noticed this, too! My own daughters wear more dresses than jeans, all of them. They wear skirts and dresses everywhere.

Irene

Veteran

Well I'm 26, not sure whether that's young enough anymore lol, but I do wear dresses a lot during the summer. Like, everyday, no matter what! Sadly I'm having a British summer this year, so I am stuck with colored pants and t-shirts (or long sleeves...). I'm also starting to hate my denim jacket

Sylvie

Veteran

I'm 34, so on the older edge of "young thing" but here's how I interpret the "dress rules" in my environment:

Dresses are an easy way to be dressed nicely and look appropriate. If one wears a casual knit dress to an event, one can never be under nor overdressed. One is not overdressed at the family bbq because you don't need to be precious about the dress. One is not underdressed at the opera because there are always some people in jeans.

There are a lot more style nuances with a top + pants + shoes outfit, so it's more challenging to put that sort of outfit together and hit the right dressiness quotient.

Also, in my environment, everyone wears jeans to work everyday so weekends are the only time one would get to wear "fun" "cute" dresses. And truly formal occasions are few and far between.

amiable

Veteran

Oh interesting! And here I am wearing shorts and a tee, wishing I had a summer dress that I liked (and I'm 37). I own a few cropped pants, but it's too warm for them right now, to me.

kkards

Veteran

i would agree with sylvie re weekends are for "dressing up".
in my office the over 40 crowd dresses to the business side of business causal; while the twenty somethings dress to the casual side. i can see it really clearly on Fridays, when us more mature types are our most casual, the twenty somethings are the most dressed up.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Part of it may also just be the practicality of it getting harder to find dresses that fit well all over as bodies change and weight shifts, or that most designers seem to make dresses for the PYT age group, both in fit and design detail...?

Gaylene

Veteran

What you are saying makes total sense, Adelfa, because it's the feeling that a major fashion switch has been flipped by the young and trendy, while we older women, despite diligently mastering our faux tucks, have unwittingly ended up in look that resolutely puts us on the other side of the generational divide. We can laugh about Chico-tastic on this forum, but the thought makes us uneasy.

I'd hate, though, to see a stampede of 40+ women towards flippy little dresses. We'll never wear them as well as a 20 something with shiny hair and tanned smooth skin. But what we can do is look coolly confident and elegant in our own style choices so we give younger women something to aspire towards once they leave their youthfulness behind.

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