What looks have you given up on? - YouLookFab Forum

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What looks have you given up on?

Maya

Veteran

Sometimes I suspect I just lose patience too easily so I'm curious to see if other people have as long a list as I do of things they just give up on. For me, shopping is a chore. I do not enjoy it. I enjoy new looks, love fashion and clothes, but absolutely hate the process of getting them. Online shopping has been an absolute blessing for me. I'm happy to accompany others when shopping, but I'm reluctant to go into a fitting room myself.

Here are some things I have tried out but was never able to resolve (abridged):

-Shirt dress over skinnies
-Trapeze jacket
-Skinnies (with normal length shirts and without boots)
-Wide waist cinching belts
-Anything belted, with the exception of jackets
-Woven vests
-Woven tops in general
-Tie-neck tops
-Booties
-I'm inches away from giving up on a sweater dress

I sometimes think if I were willing to put more effort in, I could probably find some of the above items that were flattering on me, but I'm just not willing to go to that length. Being in a store too long literally makes me sick to my stomach. I feel overwhelmed and trapped and just want to get out as quickly as possible. Maybe it's some type of illness I have...

General

39 replies

Latest reply was from Sihaya

Eva

Maybe my standards are lower. My list isn't as long, although there are several items on your list where I just have one item (such as the trapeze jacket and skinnies) and won't get more.

My list:
- BF cardigan
- Any dress over skinnies
- Just as close on the sweater dress - I tried a few on this weekend, ugh
- Speaking of ughs, Uggs
- Shift dresses - they look so nice on others
- Open toe boots
- Converse (sorry ladies, I think they look great on others and I keep trying them on, but they are not ME. I like the sporty looking urban sneakers.)

marianne

Maya, do you mean the looks that you would like to wear but haven't found the right item, or the looks that you're attracted to but that don't work for your body type? For example, I wish I could wear puff sleeves, t-straps, mandarin collars and wide belts - but I gave up on those a long time ago. Oh, and anything wrap.

I don't enjoy shopping - it stresses me out. I have a different issue in that I am too hesitant to try new styles, and actually this forum has been a tremendous help. I also am not sure why you gave up on booties - is it because you haven't been able to find ones that are comfortable? I think you'd look very cute. And what about belted looks - I remember you posted a black and white top with a thin red belt a few months back, and it looked fantastic.

Eva, I am not a huge fan of Uggs, unless it's for purely functional purpose. Do you feel like you could use them in Seattle?

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Maya, I so relate to some of the items on your list (and Eva, the ugh-Uggs comment had me in tears!).

- boyfriend cardigan
- shirtdress over skinnies (because I can't find a shirtdress)
- anything belted, including wide waist-cinching belts
- woven vests

My main problem with the boyfriend cardi is the belting issue. I wore a boyfriend cardi around the house for an hour with a patent skinny belt around it and the belt kept riding up and just about drove me crazy. The belting issue is huge for me - and being petite, on me, those wide belts really do not flatter.

Eva, I understand you on the Cons. I have a pair and get compliments when I wear them, but I'm not sure they're "me." I feel odd in them. At first I thought it was because I wear heels a lot (low heels, but still), but then it occurred to me that my Me Too flats feel perfectly suited to me.

On the woven vest front, Tara's huge success in trying one (and seeing one earlier this season on Shiny, and on Tanya) makes me think it's worth trying.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I love shopping, but I have found there are many current styles that either don't suit my body or can't be found in my size.

-skinnies (although I have picked up a couple of new straight-legs)
-BF cardigans
-sweater dresses
-almost all dresses right now -- the hems are too short

I am still open to vests and Converses, but I haven't yet found the pair for me. Also, I promised my husband I was done shoe shopping for the season after I got my grey scrunched Merrell boots.

Anonymous

An interesting list. I haven't been able to get these to work for me:
Leggings
Dresses over leggings or skinnies
Woven vests (I'd still like to make this work)
Trapeze jacket

I'm still looking for the right sweater dress (especially after holiday sales).
Converse (the one pair I have) are not comfortable on my feet although they seem roomy enough. I haven't given up on them yet, but for me they are about a 4 hour shoe if I don't do a lot of walking.

Anonymous

Maya, something about the stores may be affecting you. It could be a sensitivity to the fabric smell or to the lighting. In some stores I hear a whine in the lights that drives me nuts. The lights themselves can cause some people headaches or anxiety, especially fluorescent lighting. I read recently that people with lupus can become physically ill in fluorescent lighting.

dee

I'm also having a lot of difficulty with most of the things mentioned here too - BF cardigans, anything over skinnies, vests. Similar to Joy, I like the look of Converse but I really don't find them comfie (I think they're too narrow).

I would also agree that there are some stores that bother me for odd reasons - for example I think that Express stores always have a weird smell (kind of like Subway always has a distinct smell). It's kind of neurotic but it does make me not want to shop there.

Maya

Veteran

Marianne, I just meant things you may have never tried before but that you really liked on others and wanted to work on yourself.

The belt thing has a few problems. I find that being shortwaisted, it doesn't really situate itself comfortably. It moves around all day and eventually I get frustrated and take it off. I also really admire the look of wider belts, but they are never going to work on my body type. The same day I wore the red belt, I ended up removing it and just putting over a tissue weight black shrug because the belt was driving me nuts.

Maybe it's just me and the fact that my entire body has dissolved into a puddle since going back to school...but I find that things fit me significantly differently when I'm standing than when I'm sitting. Belts that feel fine when I'm standing feel too tight when I'm sitting. My Express Mias feel fine in a 2 when I stand, but the 4's are better when I sit.

Booties: I just really think they look best with a higher heel. Somehow low heels and flats make me feel frumpy.

I hate store lighting. I hope it doesn't mean I have lupus! But it does make me feel sick. On top of that, so many stores have this annoying habit of playing really bad/loud music that supposedly is meant to make people want to shop more, but just makes me want to leave.

Tanya

Veteran

What an interesting thread. Here's my list:

- leggings
- true skinnies if worn without boots
- longish clingy straight sweaters/knit tops ( those look great on rectangles)
- heels higher than 2" that are not wedges
- skirts that end above the knee or 1'-2'shorter
- most of the boxy/sack cut tops/dresses, that do not have a defined waist
- drop waists
- dolman sleeves
- I am still trying to find one or two sweater dresses, so that category is undecided at the moment.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Joy, when I was young and my mom would take me to Marshall Field's in Milwaukee, I dreaded walking into the store because the lights had the most horrible piercing noise, and adults couldn't seem to hear it - It was painful! Thankfully, several hundred loud concerts later, I can't hear anything at all

And Maya, the music at Bebe makes me want to set my hair on fire!!

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

Here is my list:
trapeze jackets, shirts, coats
any crisp cotton button down that needs ironing, especially white
tuxedo look, neckties
cream casual outerwear, maintenance issue
slouchy boots with cuffs and heels, might try flat but too young?
high heels, especially skinny heels
short puffy sleeves, peasant top styles
short skirts
tailored shirt dresses with buttons and belts
UGGS!!!

tarzy

Veteran

I have given up on:

Leggings (short chunky legs)
Flats (short legs, big hips)
Empire waist (not good with large bust)
Woven shirts (fit issues - bust, waist, sleeves (short arms), neck (short neck)
Cardigans (bust/waist issues - they pull up and I get a funny roll at the waist)
Sweater dresses (they combine the worst of all my issues!)

I am also THIS close to giving up on jeans!

(My husband is also allergic to malls, but that might be a "male" thing. He seems to do fine at the Apple store.)

Maya

Veteran

For those of you who have listed Uggs, I'm curious to know why you liked them in the first place? I have never liked the look of Uggs on anyone but the abominable snowman.

Maya

Veteran

Tarzy: I too love the Apple store. While everyone else is shopping in Soho during the great YLF meetup of 2009, I can see myself sneaking off there

Although the NYC Apple stores are "special" so maybe that's why.

I really think it's the lighting that makes me crazy. Some stores are okay, but department stores are the worst. I like the ambeince of Anthropologie. It always smells lovely in there and the music is usually kind of sweet and not bothersome. Now if I could just afford to shop there...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Interesting thread. Many of your responses REALLY surprise me. I’ll go into that more later as I tackle each of you individually. (Big bad Angie is on the way).

I’d like to throw in the budget variable. Items that you’ve given up on, might work if you could and felt comfortable paying a higher price. Unfortunately, our means do factor into this equation.

My list is short:

o Open shoes. The most open shoe I wear is a ballet flat no matter how hot it is
o Heels above 2 and half inches
o Chunky knitwear

So, after crocs, Uggs are next on my list as ugliest shoe in the world. I did not expect as much solidarity.

Maya

Veteran

Seeing these shoes gave me nightmares:

http://www.endless.com/Steve-M.....browserel2

Not to stray from the topic, but I think my eyes bulged out of my head when I saw those. I'll take Uggs over those any day of the week.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

OMG, Maya! Could those boots have ONE more thing going on at the same time? Buckles, rivets, heels, open toes, laces - seriously??

Violet

Wow, those boots are something else. They are certainly unique, but not in good way!

Before joining YLF, I had given up on several looks (like skinny jeans and tunics) that I have now been able to work into my wardrobe. But I have given up on some items:

- Crew neck shirts: any type of shirt with a high neckline doesn't really look good on me

- Super high heeled shoes and some pumps: my feet are narrow and tend to slip out, so I prefer sling-backs or shoes with an ankle strap

- Shorts: I've tried on a couple of pairs of dressier shorts, but I just don't like the look on me. They look great on others, but I would rather wear a skirt or dress. I only wear shorts for work-out purposes.

- Tank tops/skimpy shirts/halter tops: I'm not in college any more so I really don't have anywhere to wear them. Also, I need enough coverage to wear a good bra.

I had a YLF-inspired dream last night I was shopping for the perfect sweater dress. Unfortunately, I didn't find one.

Antje

Veteran

Hmm, interesting lists. I think there are differences, though, between styles you really like and wish they'd work for you, vs. styles that might be "on trend" and/or look good on others but that you have an easy time bypassing because you're not that enchanted by them anyway. Does that make sense?

E.g., for me the trapeze jacket would be an example of the first category; I love the look and have tried it repeatedly but it's just plain unflattering on me, which bums me out. Heels might fall into this, too. Not that I would like to wear them on a daily basis, but there are occasions where I do wish I'd be comfortable in heels and could pull them off for a special look.

The second category is bigger. There are a lot of looks that I might enjoy on others (or not) but that I know immediately aren't "for me" and that I might not even personally like that much. E.g., dolman sleeves are a good example of this, or boat necks, or pleated skirts. All can look real cute and all on others, but I don't even crave them for myself knowing they wouldn't work easily, and I am not bummed about it like I am about trapeze jackets or other examples of the first category.

I actually think it's not bad at all to have a longish list of looks you're bypassing. It means your understanding of your own body and style has evolved and you are more picky. Of course this assumes that you still have a solid list of looks that you like and know work for you.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Your differentiation makes sense, Antje. I understood the question differently. (Trust me, my list of which trends I want to, and do bypass is probably longer than anyone else’s!)

I understand the question as: you think you’d look good in the look, but can’t find the item for reasons xyz. I’ve NOT included items that:

o Don’t work for my body type
o Items I outright don’t fancy
o Items that I like on others but don’t work for me

If I did include the above, we’d be on page two of this thread. So, Maya – how far along to you want us to list!

Anonymous

High heels come to mind as something that I finally have realized I don't need to suffer with. They aren't for me and I don't feel comfortable wearing them, example, I'd be afraid to get up from the table and go to the bathroom at a restaurant. I really thank Angie for helping me to clarify this because pre YLF I'd choose what I liked for looks not realizing that some things I need to appreciate on others and not on me.
At the age of 54 there are lot's of cutsey things that I would have worn when I was younger that I just have to cross off the list.
It looks like a lot of us are giving up on what we thought was going to be the universally flattering sweater dress. Darn it anyway.

BLB

(website)

Voluminous tops
Sack dresses
Loose/flowy tunics
Actually, any top or dress without a fitted, definied waist... I love this look on others, especially with skinny jeans, leggings, tights, or bare legs (if it's a dress) but I don't think I can wear it
Cropped cardigans--can't figure out how to wear them without them just flapping open and looking weird
I'm thisclose to giving up on anything that requires ironing (button-down shirts, mainly), although I'm dying for a white button-down with ruffles at the placket, like JCrew's Victoria blouse. I HATE ironing.
Empire waists--they make my bust look odd
High heels (anything above 1.5-2")
Non-leather shoes, even though I'm mostly vegan :/
Trapeze jackets
Dolman sleeves
Tops with banded bottoms--they ride up on me almost immediately

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Ohhhhhhh - I see. I too had Angie's understanding of the question. If you mean things that aren't for my body type, or that I simply don't prefer, then that's a different list, and among others, it would include:

-- Raglan sleeved tops (makes my small shoulders even smaller)
-- Chunky knits (makes me look chunky too)
-- Wide-legged pants (I just don't prefer it on me)
-- Many types of hats (pinhead with short hair)
-- Anything yellow (makes my skin also appear yellow)

You know what I wish would come back that I loved for my body type and no longer exists? Shoulder pads. Don't make fun of me! Please! Seriously, they were sooooo helpful - I instantly looked taller and thinner. Of course, they don't need to be as quarterback-esque as they used to be. We don't need to get that crazy

Nicole

Veteran

Hmmm...

I am pretty tenacious, so if I really want something but can't wear it well, then I look for something else that has the same effect. Like woven shirts--I don't have a lot of luck with them, but if I see a knit button down shirt with a collar, I'm all over it. I think it gives the same effect, with more comfort. Sometimes I can only find one thing that I think looks okay--maybe not a killer 10, but at least a 7 or 8. I am content with that one item. I find that these kinds of looks are fads anyway, and I will always have my classics to fall back on when that fad passes.

THen again, there are looks that I love on other people, but know there is no wa around it for me. Belted tops, empire waists (although I'm kind of sick of empire waists now), large round prints are a few that come to mind. I dont put any effort into trying these items, yet I don't really care or let it bother me. I prefer to focus on the things I can wear--especially things that most other people can't. Like cargo pants, jeans with flap pockets, side entry pockets. I hear a lot of you women struggle with pant fit issues, and I can't relate. But I have shirt fit issues instead.

There is a third category--items that I have no desire to wear, don't care for them in general. Bejewled anything (unless it's a formal gown and done really really well), of course Crocs, Uggs--especially worn in the summer!, anything lamé, bags with designer names all over the outside of the bag...I could go on and on. But these are not things I've given up on--these are things that I just don't like.

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

Just wanted to start off by saying I'm Australian so I have to defend Uggs! Granted I don't actually own a pair right now, but I do have similar winter boots that are knitted with a reindeer print and I love them to bits. Of course they are packed up now cos its summer here. How do you guys keep your feet warm in winter if you don't wear Uggs????

Moving right along, looks that I have tried and just can't get to work on me:

- Belts - both wide and skinny
- Heels of any kind - although I am trying to remedy that
- Sandals that are not Birkenstocks (they all cut my feet apart, even plain thongs/flip-flops!)
- Stockings/tights under boots. I know this is a weird one, there's just something about it I don't like.
- Belted trenchcoat - every one I have ever tried looks horrid
- Pencil skirts - make me look like a big box
- Wrap tops. I have 3 wrap dresses that I love but never found a flattering top.
- Anything requiring ironing (haven't owned an iron for over 10 years now!) - yes I am very lazy. Weirdly enough I actually enjoyed ironing when I was younger!
- Tops/dresses with spaghetti straps - maybe my shoulders or torso is too wide but they always look nasty on me

I'm sure there are lots more but I can't think of them right now!!!

Maya

Veteran

To clarify (in response to Antje and Angie), I was listening items that I wanted to work for me, but that I just can't get to work. This might be because I haven't found the right piece for me yet, or because it will just never be flattering on me. It's not always easy to tell. I'm not quite sure if trapeze jackets just look bad on me, or if I just haven't found the right one yet. I'm pretty sure there is a sweater dress out there that would be flattering for me, but I don't know where or how I'm going to find it.

Nicole

Veteran

Maya,
If you're anything like me, you will find it as soon as you stop looking for it.

Maya

Veteran

It's been a long time since I gave up on a trapeze jacket, Nicole. I stopped the search for sweater dresses too recently, though mostly just because I don't have time. We'll see if one just falls from the sky

bella

(website)

Veteran

I will follow Maya's example and list the items that I wanted to work for me, but for some reason (either not good for my body type or haven't found the best fitting one yet) don't work for me. My list is actually very similar to Violet's:

- high heels (I used to wear them but then I gave up on them at some point, I'm trying to build up to high heels again little by little)
- shorts
- halter tops
- BF cardigans
- sweater dresses

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