lyn*, you found a photo of dressy effortless- yay!

suz, you nailed it in your assertion of physical and psychological comfort!

oh Gingko, if I had a dollar for every one of those comments I got from the hubby once I started making an effort I could buy everything on my spring wishlist- lol My favorite was when he told me I didn't need to look like America's next top model to go to the Walmart, and I was sporting an outfit much like the one you described!

krishnidoux, I especially like the last line of your post- so very true

Many of you mentioned the point I took away from Angie's blog post and that's the fact that when an outfit is 100% true to who you are it looks effortless. I'm less confident when I feel like I'm dressed up as someone else because my outfit feels more like a costume.

Wonderful thoughts, ladies! You have all helped me refine my own definition of effortless, and I feel like I have a better idea of what it'll take for me to realize this particular style aspriation.

Great, Jewell!

EngineMom, thanks for chiming back in. I thought a little more about why the term "Trying Too Hard" leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. It sounds nasty and overly judgmental. Sure, the whole of style and fashion is wrapped up in subjective judgement because it's art and not science - there is little we can do about that side of things (although it has it's advantages). Trying is a good thing, and that should never be mocked. To me, it's better than not trying at all.

Just THANK YOU ALL!!! i'm very curious about this aspect of style but completely flummoxed in trying to figure it out - i've learned a lot here! steph

Such an interesting discussion!

It reminds me of three women I noticed yesterday afternoon in a bookstore . Two had what I would term "effortless" style and the other had the "trying too hard".

The first two I really liked their style. One was a customer and one was working there. They both had simple outfits...but each item was quality and flattering. Their shoes were a little worn, but not shabby. I would say loved. Both women had their hair up in stylish buns, so their faces were very visible. I would say that I saw THEM first, then their clothes second...though I really liked their clothes.

The trying too hard example was actually two friends, dressed just alike. Both had black shoes, black tight jeans, black leather jackets that didn't really flatter and black hair. It wasn't the "trying to hard" in a fussy way, but it looked as though they were doing a role, and in this case, an identical role, rather than displaying their beauty first...and they were so pretty, really. I like the all black textured thing, but this didn't fall into that category to my eye.

It seems effortless style looks as though someone put a few carefully chosen items on...so it isn't without care....but then forgets about them. Their face and body language say: "I'm engaged in life" rather than saying, "my clothes are my identity".

For me the term is too subjective to define. One person's "effortless" is another person's "meh" and yet another's "overdone."

I do agree that confidence goes along way to convincing others that a style is RIGHT for one, whether or not a view judges it as effortless!

I haven't read all of the replies, but it seems to me that effortless style happens when you have truly great versatile wardrobe items that you can just throw on and they look great, no matter *what* you pair them with.

So many times I've had a jacket that's a little too big, or a little too tight so it only works with a belt, or if I don't have to move around, respectively. I'll have pants that only work with one pair of shoes, or a blouse I can only wear if I have a tan.

I am just beginning to collect a few truly fabulous-for-me items that seem to always look great, play nicely with everything else and make me feel confident. Last night I had an outfit on where 4 out of the 5 pices were pretty perfect. I threw them all on in a hurry and it all looked fab. It *felt* effortless to me because I hadn't had to try on half a million things and then leave feeling all mussed up and stressed out. I was completely unselfconscious all evening and that felt effortless to me.

Okay, here's my take. It's like piano performance. You practice a piece of music until it's polished and you know it inside and out. That way, when you perform the piece in public, you make it look easy... even though you know it took months of preparation to be able to play that way.

The same with clothing. It takes effort to shop and buy the clothing and accessories that (1) fit you properly and suit your body type, (2) are the right color for your individual skin tone, (3) are appropriate for your lifestyle and for the occasion(s) you're dressing for, and (4) work with other pieces in your wardrobe. However, when you have the right pieces in your closet, you can combine them in such a way that it looks effortless.

You won't look like a fashion victim because you won't be wearing attire that doesn't suit you, and you won't look like you tried to hard because your clothing will represent who you are on the inside and the values/messages you wish to convey to others. In a nutshell, other people will perceive that it took no effort on your part to look that way. And no, it has nothing to do with dressing casually. Dressy attire can look equally effortless. Advance planning makes the end result look fabulous, but not like you went out of your way to look that way.

I hope this makes sense.

I am mulling the concept of "trying too hard." I think it has to do with being unconvincing in some way. I remember once being in a men's department somewhere, and this guy walks past in head-to-toe lemon yellow Ralph Lauren - madras shorts, sperries, cable crewneck, upturned collar. Like he bought the whole outfit straight off the mannequin. Part of the problem is that for our neck of the woods, there is nowhere to go wearing all that at once.

Angie - I agree that the phrase "trying too hard" has an element of judgement in the fashion world. But that is probably true about a lot in the fashion world! But if you take the judgement out of it....I think you can get the gist of what I am getting at. I am struggling to find a word or phrase that captures that essence without coming off as judgemental.

I think we all have been in the situation where we put on an outfit and ended up feeling like we were in a costume and that the outfit didn't really mesh with what we were going for. Or we see someone that is in that position. What do you call that?

Oh, I love Ruth's comparison to playing a piece of music. That makes so much sense to me!
All the effort comes before - the advanced planning- and then you are comfortable & free to focus on whatever it is you are doing.
Ruth, you just made a light bulb click on in my head!

Team Ruth. Times a million!

I tend to think that AJ and Annagybe have an effortless style - unexpected combinations that *look* like they just threw them together. But when I read their posts I can see that what seemed like a flash of inspiration to me was the result of careful planning and experimentation, and a thorough knowledge of what suits them. And polish - without it, "unexpected" can seem a bit more like "blindly picking from the shelf", as I've found out myself

I have a friend who I used to be a little jealous of, because she always looked 'effortlessly' fashionable. But after reading posts here, I started to ask her about her outfits, and found out that she has only gotten to this stage after a lot of effort! So now I know I can do it too, if I try. I think it comes down to practice, practice, practice.

I always feel effortlessly fab in this outfit: it's casual, but so me. And the details are right - little puffed sleeves on the jacket, navy and khaki, and fab boots. I always try to make sure my hair is done and I've got lipgloss on when I wear this outfit.

Edited to add: ok, no boots in this pic! It must have been warm that day

Angie, I agree with you about the spiky, unpleasant and even sometimes dreaded expression "trying too hard". This is a infallible freezer for anyone embarking the journey of discovering and defining their style. I put it in the same category as "too young for her age" and "too loud". It does however describe one reality we see around, although what it describe is the reverse of what it actually is.

Just as "Effortless" means actually effort, "Trying too hard", as Ruth beautifully explained, actually comes from not trying enough!

Looking at JA's picture, it occurred to me that a great part of her effortlessness is also due to all the care and effort put on the canvas on which these clothes will land. Besides the fact the actress is insanely fit, her body shape is respected, her skin is tanned, her hair colour is perfect for her skin tone, her hair must have taken time to style, her brows are done and done well, her nails are manicured, if she were to speak you would see her teeth have been whitened, and she walks elegantly with feet pointing straight. Not just that: the details are certainly the most expensive parts of her "effortless" outfit: her sunglasses are just the perfect size and shape for her face and must also be top of the line with top $$$$, her hand bag lands just at the perfect height on her side and I don't dare imagine how much it must have cost, the colour combination screams "I did not shop in a 'common' store where the only available colours are beige, black, blue and red" ... etc.

Well I am certainly not advocating we all should emulate JA and the unreal (and very expensive, time consuming) level of care she maintains for her bod. Looking at stars and the ease they seem to carry their clothes with is deceptive and depressing. Also, what credit do they have when they are surrounded by professionals and can spend any amount of $$$ and time on their looks? Do you think these stars are _really_ confident? I wonder what would happen if they were stripped of all this help.

I just want to make a point that for a style to be effortless, simply pairing one item with another won't do it. There is more to it underneath! However it isn't necessarily what Hollywood stars and pop culture pushes at us either. I don't think beauty can only lie in perfect teeth, tanned skin and skinny legs! The most stylish and beautiful women I have met have not fallen into this mould. Yet they are the ones who inspire me, the ones I remember. They cared for themselves. Their hair matched their shape, their styles, and flattered their eyes or smiles. Their nails were clean, filed. They smelled good. they paid attention to details.

This said, ButterflyLady, I understand what you mean in this picture about the _idea_ of effortless in JA's outfit. Even if completely fake in its making, the resulting image translates a feeling we all aspire for I think, when we go out in the world with our daily clothes, a feeling of being pretty no matter which direction the clothes fall, the feeling that we can confidently confront the world without having to pay the price of pain, energy, stress. Which we shouldn't, really, but unfortunately too often is the reality of women.

Krish, you are so very eloquent and astute and thanks for chiming in again. I really enjoy your lateral points of view. They are thought provoking and wise.

Enginemom, I understand the meaning of the term "trying to hard" - and the principle is 100% real, just as you explained it. Sorry if that wasn't clear! My problem is with the choice of words of the term to describe the phenomenon. EVERYTHING in fashion and style is based on a subjective judgement and to deny it would be unwise. That being said, I feel that we can express certain looks with more sensitivity - the term "trying too hard" just seems insensitive. Trying is a good thing, and that should be valued. It's better than not trying at all. Perhaps that doesn't make sense to anyone but me!

Ruth and Vix, loved your analogies. They totally hit the nails on their heads.

Rachy, if that gentleman was 100% confident in his outfit - it would be effortless in my book.

Great thoughts from everyone! Enjoyed your perspective so much!
Especially Ruth...thanks for the picture you painted. I understand clearly now.

Ruth, I agree wholeheartedly with your description. To me, "effortless" really doesn't mean that someone ISN'T trying - it's that we cannot see the effort involved, and the result appears seamless.