I don't think I have any fashion fears. Perhaps I'd class them as minor niggles!

Oh which my chief would be probably be that I shouldn't actually be defining my waist because people are actually thinking my clothes are too tight or that have too much of a mummy tummy.

Julies's (RoseandJoan) resonated with me as I have already sent my kids to school on several occasions with odd socks and with holes in their clothing! I am a bit ashamed, but not too much, as they had alternative school uniforms pieces available, but they wanted to wear the beloved holey ones!

Hm-m-m, I guess I don't have too many fears (aside from what Kari said, accidentally walking around with my skirt tucked into my panties or with a fly unzipped). Maybe it's because I have definitely been frumpy or underdressed or overdressed on at least one occasion, and the world did not end. I have also had someone ask me if I was pregnant once when I wasn't so I laughed it off and got over that fear.

Una, this is an amazing conversation. I'm listening intently:)

NicoleB, I didn't know you are a mum! I'm a bit older than you but I'm a mum too, and I relate to everything you said! I am often drawn to clothes that might be deemed "youthful" and I've retired some of them without really wanting to. I think having a pear shape makes it tricky too; my small bust (wrongly) can be taken as appearing girlish rather than womanly.

I genuinely look forward to your outfit posts as I think you have wonderful, inspiring style.

I am lucky, though, in that I live in an area and have my son attend school in areas where eclectic dressing is often seen. It makes it much easier to wear what I want.

The flipside of feeling "am I too old for this?" is, "if being old means I can't wear this, it's only going to get harder later. Now is the last chance I can get away with it - so I'm wearing it NOW!" I do a bit of this

While the honesty is rich and therapeutic, my very favourite comments have been from MrsEccentric, Krishnidoux, Ironkurtin, and Angie - fashion is fun, it is something we are in charge of (I wear the dress - the dress doesn't wear me), and, similar to what Makrame said, I've been both humiliated and praised on account of my appearance, and I've got up and moved on from both.

Trying to mull over the original question... well sometimes my 8 year old tells me I'm fat, or I've got a fat bum, and I say, "Yes! You're quite right! Thankyou for motivating me to exercise today!"

If a guy said that to me I'd probably grit my teeth and say "Where do you get off? You're no oil painting yourself, bald-y" (actually that was a quote from Kath and Kim :D)

Sometimes I get down because nobody says anything nice about my outfits for what seems like a long time. My solution to that is to start paying people compliments. Take the focus off myself

I suffer from moderately horrible acne so I already humble myself every day looking at it, treating it, and surrendering to it. Loving myself with it.

On and off for about a year, my hair was falling out in patches. That really depressed me. But I had to get on and deal with that too. It seems to be back now, and I feel better. But I know if it goes again I'll have to find a way to keep calm and hold onto my self worth.

I don't know, a lot of things I could be afraid of have already happened.

I work hard to challenge my fears and although in some areas of life I've got a long way to go, I think I'm doing okay when it comes to style.

That I look old, fat, trying too hard and completely out of place. It's a state of mind I have to battle constantly.

Getting asked how my "baby brother" is doing, when he is older than me. Arrrrgh!

Vani's fear is my sad reality....and girl, you look NOTHING like me!

High five, Ironkurtin!

Ladies, I appreciate your fears and will allow a little wallowing on this thread - but not much more! Time to get on with it

Loved your answers Anne and Julie.

*dishing out fearless pills*

Now go be stunning and fearless today.

I'd like to second Angie - look at all the bad things we worry about, about ourselves, and about how we present ourselves! Dang, we'll make ourselves nuts. I'm not sure if we all think too much about pleasing others, or no one told us often enough how great we are, but life is too short to 1) wear shoes that hurt and 2) think crap thought about ourselves that just *may* be true but probably aren't. Take the pill! Drink the coolade! WE ROCK!

I struggle with mutton dressed as lamb AND lamb dressed as mutton!

My church is very casual. If I wear work clothes to church, I look 70 because only the "older" women dress up for church. But when I go to buy casual clothes, I worry that I'm dressing too young for my age, and that I will look silly.

Recently, I have put a lot of things in the "donate" pile because I think they make me look old or frumpy--lamb dressed as mutton.

IK and Angie, I agree that wallowing is not healthy, and I would put myself in the generally fearless category. That said, I do think it's been helpful to:

1. voice our fears, allowing us to confront and move past them. The pressure on women often goes both ways: to care about all of these worries, AND not to care or at least act like we don't care. Recognizing that fear may us the power to move on for real, and not just put a good face on it for now;

2. realize we're not alone, and that gorgeous fab women of all ages are there with us to inspire and support us, even on our bad days. Knowing what others here worry about will help me give more supportive feedback too. And finally;

3. as Angie, said, move on to overcome those fears. Here are some good quotes I found!

“Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.”

“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”

"Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

“If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.”

I love this thread because so many of you have put words on the feelings I have and I have to grow that vocabulary to understand it better.

San:
"Internally I am a wall flower so my fashion fear is being noticed as too loud, or noticed as too frumpy, trying too hard, not trying hard enough, being different from the group I'm in, you name it, I've got a fashion fear. I guess mostly it would be mutton dressed as lamb,"

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

Give shape to the fear dragon, then stab it and wear its jeweled eyes as earrings!

-- Okay, I think I've been reading a liiiiiiiiitle too much Game of Thrones.

IK- "Winter is coming "

HAHAHAHA!

Kill the beast!

That my current SYC will cause me to lose my ranking on Team Edgy and Trendy.

I am with Angie here, lets keep things looking to the future...with YLF we really should put those fears to rest.
A wonderful support system here and lots of helpful advice and encouragement should eliminate any fears . We test them here first and then show the world We can truly be fearless!

Anna, I think it's safe to say that fear is groundless. You OWN Team Edgy.

I second Una, AG. Omigod, I LOVE your edgy closet. I wouldn't call you trendy at all - in fact, to me, you personify fearless!

I think some people have been very brave sharing their fears but I do think it is important to use that fear to forge something more positive and attainable, for example if you fear being dumpy instead strive for a long lean leg line or if your fear is being old fashioned strive to incorporate new trends into your look. There is enough darkness in the world and if Angie has taught us anything it is that fashion should be light and fun.

*climbs down from soap box*

It's quite comforting to read that so many of us have some specific fear regarding our style choices, physical appearance etc. (the "phew I'm not alone" feeling;-)
At the same time, with almost all comments, I kept thinking "No! Not possible, you are so gorgeous/smart/my style icon/never in a million years could you not be fab..." (fill in the blank).

Which goes to show, that this is all so relative, and that we are often our own worst critics. We're so hard on ourselves. I've decided that that's what I am going to take away from this thread: to try to look at myself with "someone else's, much more objective and kind eyes".

Less fear, more fun. Who's with me?-)

Exactly, Inge! The evolution of this thread is going just where I'd hoped. My new fashion fear is being afraid!

Actually when I think about it my fashion fears were pre YLF. I honestly have learned the rule of having fun with fashion!! It feels wonderful to let go of insecurities. Now I'm on to thinking about balance, fit, PPL, bookending colors, and other great things we are learning here at YLF.

I'm just now seeing this thread (we've been travelling a lot lately, so I haven't been on much). What a fascinating read - and to see the evolution is equally fascinating. My own "fashion fear" has evolved in the few minutes it has taken me to read.

My fashion fear would be choosing an outfit and not feeling confident in it the rest of the day. It really affects me if I don't feel right in an outfit. Knowing this, my new mantra is going to be, "I OWN my look today!" WooHoo! I feel more powerful just typing it!

Thanks all!

I'm with you, Inge.

I'm with you Inge!

@Julie - I just have to share this story. When my son was 3, my daughter was still an infant, and I was working more than full time, I woke up the morning of the preschool holiday concert only to realize that we were so far behind with laundry that the ONLY clean pants in my son's drawer were jeans with both knees wripped out! So, that's what he wore to perform in the concert. The funny thing was - everyone was so focused on how adorable their own children were that NOONE NOTICED! After that, I concluded that I was NOT successfully managing to "do it all" ; ) And in retrospect, now that I'm no longer chronically sleep deprived, I do wonder why I didn't just grab some dirty pants with knees intact, which probably would have been less noticeable...

That is so cute sarah, I do wonder why I put the trousers with the holey knees back in the girls drawer but I do, usually with a tear in my eye because they have only been worn once! Has your son forgiven you?

High five Una, Janet and Sarah!
*LOL* Sarah, that is hilarious:-))

I agree with Taylor the wonderful support system here has helped me understand not to be fearful but keep evolving and when in doubt ask. This community is wonderful for helping you understand how to tweak an outfit and make it work for you!

Well, you know me, team fearless - I'd say from reading everyone's fears that they are completely groundless. Is Queen Mum really going to be outdated? Is Rute going to be underdressed? No way!! So get out there and flaunt it!! There's not one person on this forum who doesn't look killer and we all know it!