What is style?

NaturalEve

As important as finding the right clothing and accessory is, even the most flattering piece with the best color might look mediocre on one person and truly fashionable on another. But what is this special something that some people have that others do not?

I chuck this all down to confidence. Does a person exude and air of classiness and confidence, or are they just floating around. This is why a plain white t-shirt might look like nothing special on one girl while another makes it look like the next best thing.

That's my guess of what style really is. How well do you carry yourself. Feel free to disagree with me if you like. But now here's the next question: how do you develop that type of style. How do you become that girl who models a plain t-shirt and makes it look like its designed by Calvin Klein?

I read everywhere that you need to be confident, but how? Feel free to put in your two cents on what style really is.

10 years ago

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3 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I bet this wasn't supposed to end up in Style Exchange...

Good questions, all. I do think the poise/personal presence aspect does make a difference, but sometimes in a negative way. You know those people that just have a lot of charisma, ala Tony Robbins? I never really trust them, even though they may be perfectly nice, kind, well-meaning and self-aware people. They're just too...extroverted for me to personally want to connect with them in any meaningful way. So although I've learned to ape extroversion and engage socially with people a lot more than when I was younger and very shy and awkward, I wouldn't necessarily want to become that sort of person, because it's so far from my normal personality it would feel fake. So I'd look at them and think 'wow, you look great,' but never expect to look like them. I might borrow one idea from their outfit or hair, but I'm not going to try to copy their whole presentation.

I want to feel internally consistent, like I'm presenting some sort of self that's reasonably coherent. That's as important to me as some sort of objective judgment, assuming there actually is such a thing that remains stable over time (I vote no).

Do you ever have those things that feel 'wrong' when you wear them, even though other people say they look nice and you can see in the mirror that they look OK? And vice versa, stuff that you love, even though it's not trendy right now, or stuff that seems kinda blah and boring until you put it on and it's just great? I think that's the essence of personal style, stuff that is just so you that it works. Now, what's style in general, and what's the difference between style, fashion, and clothes... that's a whole 'nother discussion that possibly could go on forever.

10 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

The eternal question! I am never going to look quite right in Lilly Pulitzer or a pretty frilly dress, no matter how well it fits and how flattering it is objectively.

I was going to post something related to my Kate Spade sunglasses that sheds some light. I modeled them for three friends I trust, and each one said something like "on you, they work" or "I couldn't pull these off, but you totally can" or "those are so you!" Now, none of these comments are necessarily a) compliments or b) helpful. But they do tell me that I have "a style" and that people seem to be able to identify what it is.

A second thing that happened recently: a friend who was talking about the movie Divergent and how the society is divided into groups said to me that there was a group she immediately identified as my tribe (she described them as the "leather-wearing bad-a$$es"!).

So in regard to your question, I think that style is when your persona and clothing choices mesh with integrity, just as you've said. It doesn't have to be harmony - maybe you're shy but want to project a tough exterior. But it needs to be in some way (here it comes....) authentic.

10 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

It's such an interesting question! And so hard to answer.

It takes a dash of flair and a willingness to stand out and entertain. It takes a dash of uniqueness, but not the anti-social kind of uniqueness - when you've got it, people want to imitate it, have a little piece of it.

Yes, you do have to have distinctive tastes and a way of doing things.

I think what you call confidence, Eve - I'd probably call presence. I think people with *S*tyle, with jazz, have a certain amount of presence. Maybe not enough to go onstage or onscreen - or even take a good a still shot - but in life, yes.

I don't think everyone can - or will want to - have *S*tyle, baby. Because it's not a great survival strategy. But there are ways to develop it.

I think everyone can and will want to have *a style.* There are also ways to develop this, but they're different...

10 years ago

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