What I have learned.... - YouLookFab Forum

Greetings Fabbers,

While I have been an absent poster in recent months, I have been a trustworthy (and inspired) reader of all of your posts and admirerer of your lovely photos. In the spirit of the New Year, I wanted to share with you all as a kind of "thank you" what I have learned about how to dress from all of your example.

As background (and apologies for repeating some of this from past posts), I have really been trying for the better part of a decade now how to stay up-to-date with dressing (I'll explain why "dressing" instead of "fashion") for many of the same reasons some of you did: the kids grew up; my personal and professional roles shifted; my menopausal body started changing shape; my menopausal body started changing temperature (note to Angie: I went from running cold to can't-wear-sleeves-under-toppers); styles radically changed (from "investment dressing" to mixing St. John knits with ripped jeans, for example). But most of all, I had a closet full of clothes and shoes that I did not wear. I credit YLF for refining the following realizations:

1) I am a deep fall in the color system, which explains why I can wear warm colors, but also black and brights of the correct hue. I think I look best in contrast (tomato red and black; chocoloate brown and pumpkin; caramel and black).

2) Color does, indeed, follow hair. I think the contrast works because I am matching both my base and my highlights rather than just one tone.

3) I am an hourglass shape rather than a pear. Suz taught me that. My poison eye goes straight to the widest line of my hips, which means I am not looking at my entire silhouette. My shoulder line does extend quite evenly to the hip line, which has changed the following:

4) Pants are the hardest things for me to shop for and to like. Because I thought I was wide, I bought only wide legs--which do not generally flatter me. I look best with a narrow bottom, whether pencil skirt, sheath (over fit-and-flare dress), or tapered pant. That means I can wear flares that are fitted through the thigh and knee and even skinnies, given the caveat below;

5) I can manipulate fit. I have recently bought skinny jeans two sizes up so that the leg follows my contours but doesn't look like leggings, which generally do not flatter me.

6) If I wear a wide leg like a trouser jean or pant, I can make the bottoms work with fitted waist and hips and cropped boxy tops. I also have short legs and can no longer wear bodycon tops to showcase the waist as in my youth, but the boxy crop solves that problem perfectly. I credit this knowledge directly to Angie.

7) I like having a narrow point somewhere, whether a fitted waist trouser, hourglass sheath, fitted thigh on a flare pant, knees in a pencil midi skirt, or ankles in any outfit (fitted booties, track pants). As long as I have a narrow point somewhere in the outfit, I find it JFE.

8) I CAN wear tunic-like tops as long as they hit me at the high hip and I balance with a ponte flare that is fitted through the thigh and lengthened with heels.

9) Dresses, especially sheaths, are my slam-dunk. They are easiest to fit on me and lengthen in all the right places. Sleeveless solids with cropped toppers work all year round, from bare legs and sandals in summer to tights and booties in winter. I wear my dresses to death and therefore don't worry about over-buying.

10) Best of all: On this last point about purchases, I don't duplicate (unless intentionally) or waste anymore because I have a much better sense of what works and what I will actually feel good wearing at this new (and privileged) age. My life and work are invested in ethical consuming, so constantly buying brand new trends is read by my peers as vain and wasteful. I can't really buck that environmental norm, nor do I want to. But since we all must dress ourselves each day, I do see clothing as a way to stay current, to signal to the world that we are conversant in and about our own time. I really enjoy thoughtfully purchasing deep discounts at the END of seasons, so that I know for certain what I need and want.

In summary, thank you YLF, for helping me find clothes I actually enjoy putting on each day. Your example has been more instructive to me than you will ever know. Best to all in 2017!

9 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

What a phenomenal wrap up. Congratulations on learning and becoming more aware or your own style of dressing.

Emily K

(website)

I am really inspired by this assessment and I'm going to keep thinking about what you've written. I just wish I were as confident and self-informed about the elements of my personal style.

Suz

What an amazing post! Thank you for sharing all of this (and thanks for the shout-out, too!) You have learned so much and although I have been here for ages, I am taking notes! (It sounds like we may have similar torso to leg ratios -- I, too, struggle like mad with legging and tunics and have given up on the former as not me and unflattering to me, and also on the latter, unless I adjust the proportion.)

It sounds as if you have come to a happy place in your closet and you've had fun in experimenting to learn what works.

I admire your patience and persistence in working out what works!

Style Fan

Great post. Congratulations on all your work.

Meredith

What a great assessment. Well done!

Thirkellgirl

Great post! Thanks for sharing it (and taking the time to analyze your growth). I've had some similar revelations - the other day I wore a pair of pants I hadn't worn since last winter and the proportions looked so off to me (the legs were much wider than I've been wearing) and I realized how much I've experimented and learned over the past year.

Alexandra

Great post! Congratulations on learning all that and thank you for sharing with us!

Bonnie

There is a lot for me to learn from this post since you have solved some of the issues I also have. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

rachylou

This is a superb analysis. Specific and tangible. I will study it!

Joyce B

This is such a great post! You have a lot of insight of what works best, you are in a great place.

Lisa

A great analysis, you have really honed in on how to dress for your body. And I do the same thing with skinny jeans, buy up in size so they are not super duper tight.

Gigi

Isn't it amazing how over time we can eke out the details of what suits our bodies? When I came to YLF maybe four years ago, I had very little idea of what flattered me. I just started with the body shape guidelines and went from there. After I got comfortable with those, I started tweaking so that I could wear items that were not flattering for my body type. As you noted, you can usually find a particular cut for the item that works with your body shape (like your boxy cropped tops, for instance) and pulls the outfit together. That's when so many more options open up and you can really start having fun, IMO.

jill58

Wonderful post. I was particularly struck by this statement -- "I do see clothing as a way to stay current, to signal to the world that we are conversant in and about our own time." This seems so true to me. I too have been greatly inspired by YLF.

Column

Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive words! I look forward to continuing to learn from you all, since our bodies, lives, and fashion trends will continue to change. I forgot to mention that my next challenge will be figuring out how to compensate for lower heels and flats in place of heels 3" or higher. I have been studying your posts. I don't need to eliminate heels yet, but the day is coming. Like bodycon waists, heels can cure a multitude of ills. I will need to find alternate strategies to lengthen pant legs and look dressy in skirts and frocks.

LaPed

Yes! This is such a thoughtful reflection. I LOVE your point that being attuned to personal style has actually made you less of a consumer, rather than more. I'm working toward the same endpoint -- having a closet full of solid, foundational garments that I'm confident will work for me for years into the future, not just a season or two, and then figuring out which pieces of the puzzle will keep me looking current or, as you put it, "conversant" -- love that point as well. Thank you.

cindysmith

Lots of deep digging here, and I'm always proud of anybody who can dig inside herself and do this kind of examination. I've been looking at all of your posts that analyze your habits and the reasons for those habits, and it is inspiring me to think more before purchasing (for many reasons, both ethical and financial). Thank you for sharing this

minimalist

What a wealth of insight. I'm struck by the kindness, acceptance, and warmth toward your own body, if that makes sense. The wisdom of dressing. I've marked this as a favorite and will come back to read it again.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

*APPLAUSE*

Well done. I'm impressed, and thanks for sharing.

Anonymous

This was such an interesting read. I can sense the thought that went into this, and I admire how you've figured things out . I also admire your commitment to ethical and responsible buying - and your awareness of what purchasing trends and new pieces can look like to the people in your work and personal life. That is important stuff to me too. I certainly don't have the knowledge of what works on me and what doesn't like you do - and I sit in admiration of how successful you've been with your learning here on YLF. Perhaps I need to pay more attention

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