What have you learned staying at home? - YouLookFab Forum

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What have you learned staying at home?

MsMaven

Veteran

I just looked at the first week of staying-at-home posts.I ask myself, "What have I learned?"

1. YLF is a great place to escape to. Friendly, encouraging, smart, perceptive people who have given me great feedback.

2. Angie and Greg do a great job of keeping the less-desirable elements out of here. This is an important job--and keeps this a safe place. And even on her down days, Angie is a bright, comforting, cheerful fashion icon.

3. I have a lot of clothes. We had a big cleanup in January when Mr. Maven weeded out a lot of clothes--good clothes--that no longer fit. It wasn't easy. I contributed my part by going through my stuff and doing the same.

4. Corollary to #3: I buy a lot of clothes. Stores have trained me to look for sales by having lots of sales. Why buy at full cost if I can wait a few weeks? This isn't a good thing.

5. I've used the sales to buy inexpensive items in order to experiment with colors and styles--this comes in part because of having grown out my natural hair and changing body shape. I've learned about the environmental damage caused by the cheap and disposable clothing, and that even well made inexpensive items come at a price to the workers who put in long hours with little reward. More so as the pandemic shuts down their jobs and income.

6. I can't believe how much time housework takes. I'm falling further behind. We are paying our home cleaners while they are off--they've been working for us for nearly 20 years. I did not appreciate them enough!

As to what I've learned about specific style issues: well, I'm still working on it and will report.

And because I can't resist a photo: I'll let you guess where this one was taken. No comments on my style: it was still the '80s.

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40 replies

Latest reply was from celia

slim cat

Veteran

I absolutely agree on #1 and 2. YLF is my oasis in the desert full of worrisome news and sad articles that gives me anxiety and panic attacks occasionally .
Can't identify the photo - the only other Statue of Liberty I know is at West Seattle Alki Beach Park - one of my favorite places.
You look lovely!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

These are very interesting thoughts. I have been thinking about this lately too.
First off 1 and 2 definitely. Honestly YLF has been my counterweight to negative news and cynicism for years, and it is not failing now during this extremely challenging and difficult test.
I spent the first 10 days or so of quarantine clearing out my closet (unfortunately with no where to take my stuff) and have continued clearing since. I feel like I am rediscovering my essential style after years of playing with lots of stuff.
Regarding cleaning, I did not realize how very much dirtier the house becomes, and how quickly this happens, when everyone home all the time.
Finally, I have realized that it is very difficult for me to talk to people without eye contact and Zoom meetings pretty much exhaust me.

rachylou

Veteran

Angie and Greg are miracle workers. They need to write a book on how to build and maintain warm, positive society without drugging people à la Stepford Wives.

I’ve been working this whole time and I spent all of last year without a car... so I a) haven’t had a proper cloistered experience and b) had already learned to lead a small existence. On the other hand, there’s no where to go now AT ALL. It’s interesting having your home be the centre of all real activity, be the place where it’s going on. A lot of things have come out of storage - the sewing machine, the iron, all manner of pots and pans. Doing my own weeding, lol. Definitely a bigger, more permanent mess I’ve made of the place since things happen here now, lol.

I’ve completely rethought my sock storage strategy. I have a sock problem, I surely do. Now I put on and take off socks multiple times of day.

kkards

Veteran

That I don’t dress for me, I dress to be seen

Bijou

Veteran

The biggest lesson for me is to appreciate my normal life and how fun my usual routine activities are. Missing my gym and karate but trying to exercise at home.

I have enjoyed being at home with my two favourite people and two favourite dogs.

Never underestimate the empathy of dogs, they seem sense when their pack members need comfort or cheering up or help finishing a meal.

I need variety and fun in all facets of my life. Covid lockdown is tough on extroverts, especially as DH and DS are introverts. Connecting with a friend daily has been a highlight..

I dress to make myself feel in control. Hair, clothes and make up are my armour and cheer me up.

Shevia has explained why my house never seems clean at the moment!

Anonymous

Big yes to 1&2!
I much prefer working at home, but hate webinars, conference calls, Zoom, and long phone calls- soooo much!

I can find plenty to do to occupy myself, and am not bored whatsoever. There are a few things I miss about the outside world, but not much. My normal life is so much about work/commute/ preparing for work, and is much more balanced now.

I'm so glad I live where I do. If I was quarantined in the city I would feel much more trapped. Walking in the woods at lunch helps my workday.

Masks and gloves are Hot and make me unhappy!

Spending time with DH and the animals makes me happy Once we can go out again, I do not want to return to being gone 12 hours a day 6 days a week.

Style Fan

Veteran

Excellent Question!
#1 and #2 are on my list for sure. YLF is a supportive, warm and accepting place to come to that is an oasis in this time. I have always valued this place but even more now.
My house does not seem to be getting cleaned. I do the bare minimum. My house cleaner retired in December and I am now the cleaner. I miss her.
I always knew I was an introvert. Going for long periods of time without seeing anyone except Mr. SF doesn't bother me. Actually, going for long periods of time without seeing anyone doesn't bother me. I can read, watch movies, go for walks by myself. I rather enjoy it.
I miss my dogs.
Mr. SF and I enjoy getting up and doing virtual Yoga. It was an adjustment at first but now we are really into it.
I realize we are very fortunate and we can actually enjoy some of the time we are spending together.

Brooklyn

Veteran

From a style perspective, I think I’ve learnt that I wear my outside clothes as “armour”. They help me to feel confident and happy out in the world, amongst other people. I think it’s an idea that has been touted by McQueen. If I don’t need to go out, I don’t need any armour, and my style changes a lot. It’s a lot softer. Much more fluid and organic. Less structured. It’s not exactly that I stop caring about my style, it just becomes a lot simpler. So I really have 2 quite distinct capsules in my wardrobe: the “armour” part (more structured and glamorous, and now virtually abandoned) and the “defenceless at home” part (soft and cozy, and now running at an amazingly low cost per wear). It seems to me that this is different from Angie, whose at home style seems quite consistent with her out of home style. Maybe it’s an introvert/extrovert thing. I think I’ll try to be more aware of this dichotomy going forward. I tend to prefer to buy the armour. But I really don’t need so much of it (especially now).

Anonymous

Yes to that Brooklyn- me too!

Windchime

Veteran

I don’t have enough jeans for a full-time at-home wardrobe. Normally, I dress professionally at least five days every week, and a few pairs of jeans are more than enough for one or two days at home. Finishing up week 5 of stay at home, I’m SO sick of rotating through my four pairs of winter jeans. It’s been unseasonably cold and snowy here, so I can’t yet bring out summer jeans for variety.

I’ve been considering ordering one or two additional pairs, but I hate to unnecessarily add to my wardrobe for a temporary situation. If I were permanently retired, I’d definitely expand my jeans capsule. But I’m not.

abby

What have I learned staying at home? My wardrobe’s evolution toward a more outgoing and engaging style over the past several years (thank you Angie!) should have been a big clue but I failed to see the obvious. All my life, I thought I am an introvert. After six weeks at home in eastern Washington, I finally realized that I am not.

Cee

Veteran

I have learned nothing !!

Anonymous

Your list applies to me too. I love starting my day with a cup of a hot drink and reading YLF.
To your list I would add that I love getting snail mail letters and cards . The mail is a daily highlight and I need to write more letters. Unfortunately, there is not much to write about these days.
I have relearned to appreciate little things but I find that it is also easy to worry about little things I used to ignore.

April

Veteran

Every single thing you said except the photo is exactly the same for me as well. The only Statue of Liberty I know is the one in the Hudson.

I am a lover of recipes, but have learned that no skill in the world will serve you better in times of scarcity/hardship/deprivation than the ability to "make anything out of anything" in the kitchen.

Have also learned that a joyful heart goes a long way.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yes to 1 and 2. Angie really shows us how it's done! I think we can also translate to our personal situations. For her, bright colour and relatively dressy outfits lift her mood and give her strength in this crazy time. For someone else, it might be gear and more frequent workouts, or gardening or birdwatching outfits. The idea is: do and wear what makes you feel strong and capable, even on the tough days.

I've learned that in a pandemic, moving is stressful, living with a new person (even a really considerate person) is stressful, and days of Zoom meetings are stressful. Especially with no dedicated office space.

But I've also learned that focusing on the moment is the way to manage those stresses along with the disappointments and losses. I mean, I "knew" this before, but I get to practice it more consistently these days.

From a fashion perspective...I'm somewhere between Brooklyn and Angie in terms of the outside/ inside style. I don't think of clothing as my "armour" in the world but I do think of it maybe as my ...scaffolding? It kind of keeps me propped up and outward facing.

At home, I tend to reach for softer, more casual and even more practical items because I'm often cuddling with the cat, curled on a couch to work (no office yet, as I said...).

What's weird about this time, from a fashion point of view -- I do feel I could use the "propping up" but the dressier and/or more structured items don't do it for me at the moment, since they feel impractical for the life I'm actually living. Hmmm. Food for further thought.

Anonymous

That statue in is Las Vegas, no? And OH MY GOD, the mayor of that city? Have you heard her latest interview with Anderson Cooper?

Anyways...I enjoyed Brooklyn's thoughts on two distinct styles . I relate to that. At home is where I wear my less fashiony pieces, and things I bought that might not be quite right for the look I want to project out there in the world. Mistakes if you will? Or maybe I have a shadow mainstream/missy style just waiting to burst out Scary thought.

Gail

Veteran

Being at home has taught me the following:

I need comfortable AND stylish lounge wear of which I currently have none that incorporates both.
I have way too many clothes that are are uncomfortable , not fashionable and don't make me feel fab.
I am not a good closet editor.
I am relying too much on baking to occupy my time.
I like walking, pilates and bodhi more than I thought.
I need to be out of the house at least for some of the day and miss spontaneous outings.
That I like face to face interactions.
I need new glasses as I'm finding it incredibly difficult to read with the ones I have. I have a new script but everything is closed.
I'm watching way too much TV every evening due to the above.
I have horrible sciatica due to the above lol.
I enjoy true crime podcasts
I can go without washing my hair for a week and with the help of dry shampoo it looks pretty much the same!
I need to find a legitimate hobby/pass-time.

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, I heard clips of that interview on the news the other day ... I was torn between snort-laughter and mourning for the state of humanity ...

I agree with your points one and two 1,000,000% Ms. Maven! The community is amazing, and outstandingly well-run. It definitely feels very safe here, which in turn leads the community to greater sharing and authenticity - a positive spiral!

I am learning how much of what I do clothing-wise is based on what I think other people think. This is a patent waste of time and brain power but there we are. Here's to doing better! Onward!

nemosmom

Veteran

Nodding along with much of what you said, MsMaven - especially #1&2. YLF has become my sanctuary/safe haven away from the crazy world. I quit facebook, and unfollowed most of those I had on instagram. I start each day here, with a hot cup of coffee. I am beyond grateful for the beautiful community Angie and Greg have built here.

Style-wise, the biggest epiphany for me came a few weeks ago. For years, I have struggled to figure out why I kept buying clothes but never wearing them. I beat myself up for buying pretty things, and letting them languish in the closet. Even MOTG outfits didn't feel quite right. Then, I realized: I rarely leave home! I have no need for a dozen pairs of shoes and toppers and bags if I am home most of the time. On-the-go outfits don't make sense if I never actually GO. Before lockdown, I spent summers at kids' sporting things, and I had occasional in-person meetings for work, throw in a few errands here and there, I really don't need that much OITW wear.... I have increased my number of video calls, so I have been paying more attention to my top half.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

1. "Frivolous" concerns like clothing and makeup play a real part in our mental health. I'm so grateful to have a place to talk about fashion (including how we can make it better) with positivity and a lack of judgment.

2. My everyday life is not that much different than quarantine.

Mainelady

Veteran

I am joining the club with #1 and #2. YLF is a place I always enjoy visiting, learning and gives me opportunities to reflect upon so many questions.
Other things I have learned are
Sitting still to teach is hard! I have always thrived upon the movement, the pace, the energy and the interaction of a dynamic classroom. Now, I sit to do all aspects of my job.
I can make do with a much smaller wardrobe. The majority of my clothes are just hanging out and waiting to be worn. Part of it is the annual “I am tired of my winter clothes” syndrome. The other part is that I am consciously choosing my mix and match wardrobe, so I can easily switch out tops, to look more interesting in my videos and remote lessons.

I take more naps. The stamina and focus required for virtual lessons and meetings is exhausting.
A smile is more important than ever.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

I have learned that I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent, but that getting to spend all this time with my daughter is also a treat - mostly!

I have learned that fashion and grooming are things that I need to do for myself, even if I’m my only audience.

JAileen

Veteran

Same here re 1 and 2. I love YLF. Like Jenn, my life hasn’t changed that much. The main difference is I’m not seeing my friends. We did get together with our dogs, sitting about 10 feet apart, and wearing masks. We’re going to try a similar get together with a couple neighbors, for wine in the evening. We'll sit far apart on the deck or the back lawn. We’re waiting for warmer weather. One of my neighbors is 90 YO and lives alone. We and others have shopped for her, and I made her a mask, but still, talking to people really helps one get through this crazy time.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

VERY interesting thread. I was quite manic reading it. Happy -sad - happy - sad - happy.....

MsMaven, THANK YOU for the awfully kind words about me, Greg and YLF. I'm touched. You have been a pillar of style, wisdom and strength on this forum during COVID-19 and I applaud you greatly for that. Each day, I very much look forward to your quarantine musings - which is why I am quick to comment on your posts! You are clever, genuine, sweet, humble and earnest. *air hugs*

'80s fashion was the best, and I'm going with Las Vegas in the photo.

Thank you so much Rachy, Suz, Slim Cat, Helena, Nemosmom, Jaime, JAileen, Mainelady, April, Suntifer, Style Fan and Suntiger for your kind words about YLF too.

This is what I've learned:

I'm a big extrovert and have not found that part of quarantine hard at all. Interesting! It's been GREAT to be with my boys who I seldom have together. I'm locked down with my favourite person and doggie in luxury. I have no complaints. We need to change our lives post pandemic.

I really don't like zoom meetings.

I really don't like doing yoga on my own, and am giving it a miss despite how much I love yoga!

I don't like reading books. It makes me nervous.

I'm really good at keeping busy, getting organized, and being productive. I'm never bored, and get things done. Being a busy bee gives me pleasure, and relieves stress.

I really miss working with clients, and doing my retail store work.

I am absolutely devastated about what the pandemic is doing to the world. My Dad is a big source of stress, and my own income stopped too. What can you do? One day at a time. I am calmer than I thought I would be.

I LOVE my wardrobe. It continues to give me joy daily as I dress up and have nowhere to go.

MsMaven

Veteran

Wow--I have a lot of catching up to do on this post! I'm enjoying all of your thoughtful comments and wisdom. Last night I had a hard time sleeping. I kept having anxiety dreams where I was out shopping and a) had 3 cats with me and 1 escaped and I couldn't find him, and 2) another shopping location and I couldn't find something. I haven't been shopping for 5 weeks and said I'd go this morning. I didn't--Mr. M went instead. Me, anxious about shopping?

slim cat: YLF is indeed an oasis. And I suspect most of us feel anxious, except for the kids who keep partying in front of my house at night and throw out their trash for us to clean up.

And I think we all agree on how much we appreciate Angie, especially for keeping the blog going and providing a place where we can learn from her.

shevia, discovering her essential style. Brenda Kinsel sent an email about a Zoom course: "Define and Refine Your Unique Style Recipe." (Course filled up right away.) Yes, this is a great time to discover and refine our essential styles. I want to think about that some more, especially since I keep reading that we are going to reemerge into a changed world.

rachylou: I wish I hadn't donated my old sewing machine 15 years ago. Could sure use it now. And your socks! Are you changing them every so often? Or just off and on with the same pair. I have quite a collection of socks now, but find I want to go without them as much as possible.

kkards, I would have thought that I mainly dress to be seen, except that I've learned lately that's it's also so important for me to feel comfortable in my clothes. And Bijou dressing to feel in control and Brooklyn regards outside clothes as armour are aspects of dressing I want to think about more. I joke about Lady Lawyer clothes, but back in the day they certainly were armour. Many of the meetings of the local CA women lawyers discussed what to wear and what dared we wear in court. Late '70s and early '80s when there wasn't much guidance.

Windchime: I have a dozen pairs of jeans and I'm still sick of rotating them. Even my dressier pants are jeans style in better fabrics. I've bought some casual pull on pants and look forward to wearing them in warmer weather along with the white pants and skirts.

abby, I'm not so sure about the introvert-extrovert classifications. I suspect most of us are somewhere in the middle of the scale. I read today that it's not so much about being around people, it's that extroverts need a lot of stimulation and excitement.

Cee, would you do it all just the same if it happens again?

Joy, we look forward to the mail everyday, but lately it's almost all catalogues, begging letters, junk, and bills. I worry about the trees. At least we get more packages. And I've learned to appreciate more things. And to strictly limit Twitter to help alleviate anxiety, which is still there.

I'll reply to the rest of you later. Much wisdom to ponder here.

MsMaven

Veteran

Wise words from you April on having a joyful heart and the importance of being skillful at cooking in times of scarcity. Do you have a good recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies that is delicious and low on calories, fat, sugar?

Suz, I can't imagine what it's like to move during a pandemic. I do like your thought of imagining of clothing as scaffolding rather than armor. And lisa p on the shadow style. For me, the shadow wants out, especially now. Audrey Hepburn, anyone?

Gail I intended to make an appointment for the ophthalmologist but then came staying at home. I'm getting closer to cataract surgery, and I don't like not seeing well at night, not that I'm driving anywhere at night now. I find that if I sit too long to read, watch TV, or sit in front of my monitor my lower back gets stiff and achy. And adding gardening to my schedule isn't helping--I bend over the wrong way too many times.

toronto girl, I find I rarely notice what people wear anymore unless it is outrageous or beautiful. Too much involved in my own tasks. So it's likely most people aren't thinking about what I wear, either.

Ah yes, nemosmom, that old adage to wear clothes for the life you live, not the one you fantasize. Me. I keep learning that one over and over. I have to remind myself that although I have 4-5 dressier shoes, I usually wear the same (comfortable pair) when I do go out.

Jenn, you are so right. Just watching the change in Mr. M when he sorts through his closet to find just the right dress shirt for a Zoom conference makes it worthwhile for me to um, appreciate his constant Fitbit diet exercise talk. Fashion isn't that frivolous as some think.

Mainelady, I would hate to teach sitting down. My first Zoom class wasn't too impressive--our teacher just talking and showing powerpoint--and no one wanted to say anything, or ask or answer a question.

Preppy Pear, you may be your only audience, but I'd say the consensus here is that how you feel about yourself is important, no matter who sees your outfit.

JAileen, how great that you and get together with friends and dogs. What a great service you provide your senior neighbor.

Angie--know that we care about you, look forward to your posts, and worry about Greg, adorable Sam, and your Dad. I'm so grateful for you for keeping this classy blog site going and for all your great advice and analysis!

nuancedream

Veteran

YES to # 1 and #2. YLF is a part of my daily routine and usually follows morning Pilates. Zoom Pilates practice is something I did not think I would I like, but I have adapted to it fairly well. I discovered that I miss seeing some of my coworkers on a daily basis. I wonder if the lack of face to face contact will affect how I interact (or don't) with them once I'm back in the office. Webex meetings and IM just don't suffice for me but I understand this will be staus quo for some time to come. I'll freely admit that there are times when loneliness and uncertainty about the future are absolutely soul crushing. On the other hand, the period of staying at home with time for introspection may be the catalyst for me to transform and reshape my own future.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh wow, so many good ideas and thoughts here. Yes, Ms Maven, I agree with your take on this community as well!

What have I learned? Hmm..

1. I can cook. I'm not bad at it. I've gotten more comfortable with it, but I do NOT like to do it every day/night. Thankfully, my husband likes to take turns. We have only done carry-out pizza twice in the last two months, and we have had Dangerously Delicious deliver savory pies, which get us a few yummy and substantial dinners, counting leftovers.

2. I am an introvert, but I do crave time with people and time away from the house. I like to wander and be active. I value my freedom. Well, I guess I knew all that already. But I'm realizing it at a deeper level than ever before. I miss my friends. We text more than we zoom. I don't know why, but I don't love the zoom thing.

3. I do still love to read, and it's been nice to have a good excuse to sit and catch up on books and magazines. And even though I had not done a jigsaw puzzle in over a decade, I've rediscovered that I enjoy them!

4. I am not getting bored walking the same old woods near my house with my camera. Rather, I take different trails and different routes, at different times of day, and each day with different weather and lighting conditions, I see different things. Some days I take my camera, others just my iPhone. It's teaching/reminding me that to see new things I don't always have to travel somewhere else.

5. I relate a bit to Brooklyn's and Lisa's musings but also to Kkards. I definitely dress to be seen during normal times when I'm venturing out of the house. I've been self-employed for many years, and worked from home for a LOT of that time, so I have spent a lot of time in the past working in sweatpants. I'm OK with doing that still...to a point. The last few days, when I've gotten out of my walking/running gear and take a shower, I've wanted to wear real clothes. However, like Lisa said, I am not exactly dressing to impress at home, but doing my old standby thing of jeans and a sweater or tee, with sneakers. I'm fine with that, for the most part. I do, however, really miss having a good excuse to dress up a bit and get out around people. Last night would have been the opening reception for an art exhibition I was to participate in, and I was sad yesterday thinking of how we were missing it.

6. I need to be better about checking for ticks. I pulled one off of me yesterday after my hike in the woods. Eeek.

7. Ms Maven, agreed about the housecleaning! The house is not as sparkling clean as it is when we have Marta here every other week. Oh well, it's good enough.

8. I touch my face too much. Bad habit.

Cee

Veteran

I would try to get along better with myself... Boy, am I annoying !

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