I will be attending a bridal shower in NY this weekend and am at a loss of what I should wear, specifically how dressy/casual the outfit should be. I have never attended one of these in person, usually I would just send a gift, since most of these events required long travel; but this time I am making an exception because the shower is for a very close friend. The event will be in the afternoon in one of bridesmaid's apartments. I will be commuting a lot on subway and changing a couple of trains (staying in Manhattan and the event is in Queens) so comfy shoes are a must.
My slight anxiety also comes from the age difference - most of the other attendees, like the bride herself are in their late 20's or just hitting 30, while I am in my mid/late thirties (what does 37 count as ?). I feel that there is some kind of unspoken dress code that I keep missing. Last summer there was an engagement party for the same wedding at which I kept getting it somewhat wrong: I showed up to the actual party in flare white jeans and silk top while every other single woman wore a pretty dress. There was a followup casual event next day (trip to the zoo, brunch) where I wore a casual sundress while every other woman wore shorts and t-shirts. It would be nice not to stand out so much this time around.