What do you miss most - YouLookFab Forum

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What do you miss most

kkards

Veteran

Last weekend, as i was waiting in line to get into Whole Foods, i had a brief 2 second conversation with the women in front of me as she slipped on her mask. And it hit me that the thing i miss the most during this SIP is the little throw away interactions with acquaintances and strangers. You know, the “good mornings” as you both enter the building at work, the “TGIF” greetings as people get off the elevator, the “i can’t believe its raining again” chats with the people in line at the grocery store. It took these pandemic for me to realize that all these little, seemingly throwaway chats actually make me feel connected to and part of my community.
Have you been surprised by some of the things that your missing? What do you miss the most?

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36 replies

Latest reply was from Laura (rhubarbgirl)

Anonymous

I miss schmoozing with the waitstaff and bartenders at our favorite restaurant, which is currently operating as take-out only. It was our neighborhood watering hole before the pandemic, and not being able to hang out there has left a big hole in my life. But I'm glad to know they haven't gone under like a lot of other eating establishments have, and I hope they'll be back to business as usual before too long.

Runcarla

Veteran

Stopping by ‘Queenie’s’ for a coffee and pastry break, and a yack during our urban rambles. I miss that more than the regular Bridge games, or recreational shopping.

rachylou

Veteran

I do rather miss the late night shopping hours, since I work at night, and shopping with Lilypup. It was fun to go into the bookstore; they give dog treats. Lilypup goes and stands by their locked door when we walk by now.

Synne

Veteran

Browsing the library, roaming thrift stores, play dates for my kids, hugging my grandparents, carefree (domestic) travelling, planning a big trip abroad... lots!

slim cat

Veteran

Browsing some stores ( Rack ), library, eating pastries at cafe..
On interacting with people/strangers: on my evening walk I was flagged by a young woman in a car asking for directions ( she was doing Doordash to my apartment building ). I was so happy to talk to her and help her to figure out our apartment numerical system.
Bonus point - she was Russian so it was really nice just to chat in my native language .

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Going out for coffee and cake,swimming ,visiting gardens,going for a walk down our street without having to cross the road multiple times to avoid people,not having to put deliveries into 72hours quarantine,l could go on!

Anonymous

The library , and the gym . And yes, those throwaway conversations with strangers . In 2 years working at the gym , I became much better at and more confident in working with people I didn’t know .....making it very different than regular sales where you know your clients . I miss interacting with people “ just like me “ ( librarians I would chat with and Friends at the gym) . Those 2 entities encompassed my reality more than I ever realized - and I will never take for granted again the freedom we had to talk without masks and distance , and to be able to touch one another . I feel sad and completely unstimulated right now . And guess where I’m getting the stimulation I crave ? From food .

The Cat

Veteran

Among the things I miss the most are:
- Visiting dear relatives
- Meeting friends IRL, not just on Zoom etc.
- Doing errands myself, when and where I want to, and having options for everything from groceries to clothing, footwear, makeup, flowers ... (I am very grateful that some are willing to do errands for me once a week, but I sorely miss my independence and my options.)

Sal

Veteran

When we ended most of the restrictions the first things on my list were seeing family, walking with friends, and the free choice to do what I like.

nuancedream

Veteran

I miss visiting my favorite thrift stores, roaming around the Sunday farmer's market, going out to listen to music, seeing the ballet, symphony and plays, Pilates class in the studio, and the occasional dinner date with my husband. Yes, my hair is overgrown and shapeless. The less said about my fingernails, toenails, and eyebrows, the better. Salons will eventually open when it's safe to do so . On the other hand. I've had more time to spend with my husband and to reconnect with friends and for that I'm grateful.

Style Fan

Veteran

What do I miss the most? Not in any particular order.
- Going to the Yoga studio. Some of the studios I have gone to in my travels have closed their doors permanently. One of these was in Florida and had a fantastic teacher. We looked forward to her classes every year. The other studio closure that saddened me was near us and also had phenomenal teachers. I worry that more small studios are not going to survive.
- Seeing my friends and family that don't live near me. I travel to see my family and most of my friends. Zoom is not the same.
- Going out to eat. I can cook, but I do not enjoy it. Enough already. Our community is fortunate to have lots of vegan options, but they are not all offering take out yet.

rachylou

Veteran

It has occurred to me that what I miss most, what bothers me most often, is not seeing people’s faces. The number of my interactions with people hasn’t really gone down, but I feel like I don’t know anyone. It’s not logical - because the internet proves you can make friends without meeting anyone in person - but still. Seeing people now in person is like not seeing them at all.

kkards

Veteran

Yes, I’m sick of eating my own cooking, but on the other hand, i am eating better...I’ve worked out a system where i “reward” myself with takeout on Saturday or Sunday...
and like so many of you i miss traveling, and not seeing my mom in 6 months has been really hard.
My Pilates class, yes i miss it, but what i miss most about it, the social aspect, the mixing and chatting with the others in the class. Same with the Starbucks drop ins

lisap said what I’ve been feeling better than i did. ...I miss interacting with people “ just like me “ ( librarians I would chat with and Friends at the gym) . Those 2 entities encompassed my reality more than I ever realized - and I will never take for granted again the freedom we had to talk without masks and distance , and to be able to touch one another .

nemosmom

Veteran

I miss the impromptu outing - taking the kids to the playground, popping in to pick up bagels on a Saturday, or meeting up with a friend. I dread the thought of going anywhere and all the planning required now, and to think my kids will grow up without experiencing little adventures makes me very very sad.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Sigh, the library - ours still hasn't even started curbside pickup yet and I am seriously bummed.

I've started back to work in retail, wearing a mask, and it does make it harder to interact with people when they can't see your whole face and expression (and for fortunately most of them I can't see their whole face either as they're wearing a mask too). You have to be a lot more verbal and physically expressive at a distance and that's not my natural state.

My parents are really struggling with car shows being canceled. They have a vintage car, are retired, and the summer car shows were their vacations and social events, and where they'd see all the friends they've made over the years. I don't think it completely hit them until recently when all the summer events and most of the fall have been canceled. They were still hoping some would happen with appropriate safeguards. And they're 75 and slowing down a bit so there are only a few more years that they can expect to go to such events.

cindysmith

Veteran

I missed my 12 step meetings the most. They have resumed, yet the married couple who started the online version have still been having them for those who don't feel ready to go back to the in person meetings. I'm somewhat in the middle, I've been making some meetings, but I'm too tired and too afraid to go as much as my spirit feels I need to. What am I afraid of? Contracting coronacooties, being an asymptomatic carrier since I work in a high risk environment... either would be emotionally devastating for me. We did actually have our birthday night Friday, when we celebrate all the milestones that people achieved that month. We had 2 months worth of milestones to celebrate, and it was so awesome to be there. Lots of us in recovery are 'huggers', and we decided it was worth the risk for a quick hug from another recovering alcoholic. I did wear my mask to protect my fellow group members, except for when I was at the podium for my turn to pick up my 15 year medallion. A friend with an iPhone drove 40 miles to make sure my mama got to 'be there' for it, and that was the best part for me. Mama went through absolute hell praying for such a day to come, and was always there for me no matter how deep the insanity.

So I miss meetings the most, and hugs, and that feeling of connectedness and belonging.

anchie

Veteran

I miss doing every day activities without stressing about them. I have to go to office tomorrow and I am already stressing and planning every step - should I go with car or public transport, which entrance to use, take stairs or elevator, which colleagues are necessary to see and how to interact with them safely... etc.

kkards

Veteran

Anchie , We are not yet back at the office, but will probably be heading there soon, and yes, I’m stressing already over what that means...

cindysmith...yes i can’t imagine what it must be like for those in recovery, especially those for whom meetings are an integral part of their recovery. But clearly you have a strong support system, how wonderful that you have a friend thoughtful enough to travel 40 miles to be a part of your milestone, and to help your mom to be part of it as well!

Anonymous

cindysmith - that's powerful, and thank you for reminding me (through your words) to check my privilege . My heart goes out to you.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I miss so many things that it is hard to say which one I miss most!

Visiting with friends and family in person. Hugging my friends.

Things are loosening up here a bit (still no hugs), so I have seen a few friends outdoors and at distance over the last few days. It has done my soul a world of good.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I miss being able to hang out with my friends, getting together for dinner or a drink at a restaurant.

I miss those little casual interactions too. I’m a gregarious introvert — I’m fine with a good bit of solitude, but I value social interaction to stay balanced and connected. I don’t like feeling like I have to keep every interaction brief and distant.

I miss the feeling of being carefree in day to day errands and activities.

I miss travel. Even pondering a road trip is more complicated now.

But these are all minor things in the grand scheme of things. I’m very aware of how privileged I am to have had these things enough that I now miss them.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Another lucky, privileged person here.
I miss: my mother. Luckily she is doing fine and my brother lives with her, but thinking about flying to see her before there is a vaccine? Or driving and having to use public restrooms? Maybe drive at night so less people around?

Calling friends and saying “Are you free to....? Just seeing them. Hugging friends and family.

Attending weddings (1 local one rescheduled for April, will it happen, and if so, will we attend? October wedding across the country? Same questions.

Online worship services have been wonderful but doesn’t replace in person services, but will I even attend outdoor socially distanced services if they are offered?

Eating out. Running my own errands. Not having to plan so far ahead for groceries-but, again, lucky to have groceries delivered and receiving most of what I want, even if not quite what I want.

Being able to plan. Trips/seeing people and places.

Seeing whole faces. Not needing to wear masks. Shopping “normally”.

Not worrying that someone can “contaminate” me. And now that I have had 2 unexpected medical situations that required medical visits with close contact, worrying about giving something to someone else, including DH.

Seeing clothing and trying things on out of curiosity. I have such a low success rate that at the store at which I have the most success I might try on 20 or 30 items and buy 1 item, or none. I can’t imagine these small stores having enough inventory if I do that.

Ok. Maybe need to start a “what will I miss after/advantages post”.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I think I missed the phrase “the most” in the original question.

kkards

Veteran

Barbara Diane ...it’s all good! I too have a long list of what I’m missing, and it mirrors a lot of yours....
things are loosening up here as well, my county is scheduled to go into the “green” zone next week, which means most business can reopen, and they are starting to talk about when and how we would go back to the office...but social distancing and masks still required, we will see how that plays out.

Anonymous

Until last week when we "expanded our social bubble", my little grandchild that I took care of for three afternoons a week and often on the weekends.

I still felt very connected to my adult children but not being able to explain why I had to jump away from a three year old trying to hug me had me on the brink of some real sadness a few times.

Echo

Veteran

I miss my mum. She is 81, and is rightfully very afraid.

I miss my students. Let me revise that: I don't necessarily miss seeing all of my students every day, but I miss knowing that they are okay. It is easy to forget that there are a lot of kids who don't look forward to breaks from school and who are not safe at home. We have no way of knowing if our students are okay or if they are in need of help or social services.

On a regular school day, there are countless sets of eyes on a child to notice if something is amiss - from the bus driver in the morning to the playground monitors to the classroom teacher, lunch ladies, specials teachers, classroom aides, and more. Now? There are students we haven't "seen" or had ANY contact with for 2-1/2 months. There have been altercations between older kids and parents involving police, but with the younger ones we have no idea, and they're not even old enough to use technology to reach out if they need help.

People talk about rebuilding the economy, but there will be untold numbers of homes that need to be rebuilt after this. Relationships. Trust. Public schools are responsible for a whole lot more than just the "three Rs" now: childcare, trusted adult relationships for kids, food, security and routine, welfare checks, sometimes even being the only place a child can take a shower and have his/her clothes washed. We have, at times, been all of those things for kids and more. And while we have been delivering meals to families who signed up, we have not been able to be everything else those kids need for a while. And now going straight into summer break...

kkards

Veteran

Echo, thank you for providing some details on the importance of teachers and schools in students life’s. As a non parent, I’ll admit that this pandemic has thought me a lot about how schools work these days, and about the life of both the students and the teachers. I appreciate your insight and knowledge.

Sisi

Veteran

No, I have not been surprised by the things that I am missing, which are mainly two: the possibility to jump in the car at any moment and go anywhere I want (particularly to the seaside !) and, of course, the interaction with friends and people in general.

I was very surprised though at my capability to endure these sacrifices quietly and without complaining. Being the impatient unruly person that I am I thought I would soon go nuts. Apparently I haven't.

Kyle

Veteran

Hugging my child is what I miss the most. And then what Janet said, about carefree errands and activities. I even miss the gym!

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