I most definitely get it. I'm on my second married, which is thankfully a happy one. It was my lousy first marriage, divorce and mercifully brief period of single motherhood that prompted me to post what I did. I'd rather be single than be in a bad, abusive or dysfunctional relationship. I value myself too highly to allow myself to be mistreated and disrespected.

I am sorry this is hard and you keep getting hurt. I have no advice to offer.

Ditto to what RoseandJoan said. It's awful you have to go through this. I hope things get better for you!

I saw that I crossposted with Anna and also that I didn't clarify that my last post was addressed to MaryK.

Anyway, I'm very sorry it's been so difficult for you, Anna. It doesn't help to hear that so many people are in the same boat, lots of the marrieds are in unhappy marriages, etc etc. I also have no advice for you. It just stinks, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and have all my excellent, deserving friends get matched up to awesome people.

My feed is full of people getting divorced.

I believe there is a lid for every pot. All you can do is try on lids. If it's fated, it will happen.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, annabyge. And yeah, it's sucky.

I have no advice to give, but I would like to send hugs and wine over your way. That plain sucks.

So frustrating, Anna. Still, better to be alone than wish you were, as I learned the hard way from my first marriage.

Also, Facebook is full of people's idealized lives so take those posts with a grain of salt.

Finally, I had three cats when I met DH. Cats are great, and even if you find the perfect guy, you still need a cat.

I cannot offer any advice, just hugs and good wishes!

Just wanted to pop back in to say I know my words are of little consolation, coming from one of those happily coupled people. I really don't mean to be flip or insensitive, because I do know how much it sucks to want to share your life with someone when you can't seem to find them.

Hugs and wine all around.

Have people just lost all their decency ? It as if people are toys with no feelings. Geeeezzzzzzz. I would have sent him to the wastewater treatment facility.

Cats are lovely.

What a grade-A twerp. What on earth was he thinking? You have definitely dodged a bullet, even if knowing that doesn't make the pain of rejection any less.

For a long time, I felt that I must be hopelessly repulsive in both appearance and personality, judging by the amount (practically zero) and type (lackluster or shallow) of romantic interest in me. I don't claim to know exactly how you feel, but I have an idea. The hurt of feeling utterly rejected has never gone away for me, even if I am now happily married.

Sorry the guy was a jerk.

You should get a dog instead of a cat. You would meet lots of nice people (including guys) at the dog park.

What a jerk he was/is. And I know it sucks when people say to stop looking, so I won't say that either. Btw my DH isn't keen on the idea of us getting a cat :(.

Sending hugs and raising up a virtual glass of wine to clink with yours. Onwards eh?

First off, this guy is a jerk and you are better off without him. Hollow, yes, especially with all you are feeling.

I am really serious n this though. Think how self centered he is to ask this. How he can't possibly be even considering your feelings. You don't need that. So yes, you dodged a bullet.

Get a cat. They love you forever and unconditionally. I recommend a Russian Blue. I have 2, and they are very affectionate. Love laps. Mine greets me at the door when I get home and hops on the table to say goodbye when I leave.

That said, I got him when I had been through two back to back really bad long term relationships and had given up on men. He really helped emotionally as it was nice to have a not empty apartment and someone who was waiting for me.

I eventually tried a dating club like you did, and it worked out horribly for me. Back then, there was no dating websites, so I figured I was destined to be alone with my cat and focus on my career.

I did meet DH, but it was later, and by accident. I have no good advice to give there.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index......-you-back/

You have got to come to Australia!

I have so many people I know get to know other people online and it seems like a great place to get all the dross out of the way before you waste any more time on it.
I think if you chat with some Australian guys on line before you come you will have a great time. You are hilarious, unique and honest. They can get all that online then you can turn up and you are gorgeous.
I say - send them all your squirrel post and you will be off to a great start.

No advice annagybe, but OMFG what a pig. How dare he. Self centred, egotistical, thoughtless pig. I'm sorry he did this, some men just really suck.

Another vote for a cat or a dog! OK Cupid looks like a cool dating program so maybe give it a break, then come back to it?

Anna, I really feel your pain. It is so easy to imagine how frustrating dating can be these days I would say you definitely dodged a bullet. I think a cat is a great idea, honestly. Pets can be such a joy.

I am sorry to hear that this guy was a jerk Anna. You deserve better.
I think somebody on the forum posted this a while ago (sorry, can't remember who)
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_w.....ating.html

I don't know if you've seen it, but I think she has 2 pieces of good advice.
1) how to create a profile that gathers a ton of responses (short, positive statements, somewhat revealing pictures)
2) to prioritize your expectations and be picky. In fact, I was struck by how she finally realized that her problem was not that she was too picky but that she wasn't picky enough.
Of course, I have no personal experience with online dating, so take it for whatever it's worth to you.

BWAHAHAHA! He just popped up in my OKCupid Quiver, which is a listing of people with high compatibility. A very LONG winded profile. He obviously does not know the phrase, "Brevity is the soul of wit".
Now, I'm totally snickering.

She who laughs last laughs best!

I'm reminded that "base compatability" and ability to conduct a relationship with others are two entirely different things.

There's this older, unmarried couple in my neighborhood. Their relationship is something of a mystery, because they're both rather awful to each other. Not abusive, just routine awful. But I think the thing is, they're essentially a great match and would have a fantastic relationship if only they weren't so... peevish.