weirded out by my body shape. frustrated as hell

tora

So i'm seventeen, and i have the weirdest body shape ever.
I have a decent upper half,with really broad shoulders , C bust and a small waist, but all of that doesnt matter because my lower half is absolutely horrid and i'm ashamed .

It looks like this ( see skittle)
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/p.....68x966.jpg

see the part below her waist? the gap between her hips and thighs is like mine, only the top the bulge of extra fat on the upper hips in my body is much more exaggerated, and i dont know what the heck they are ( they aren't love handles are they?). I'm 5'4 and I used to be 135 lbs but now i am about 123 lbs. I've had this shape for as long as i can remember.

but even as I lose weight, the shape remains the same.

Its really frustrating me cuz i look terrible in jeans ( or any pants for that matter) and pencil skirts.the body shape also makes me look like i have short legs but i know where the legs start and my legs arent short but the shape makes em that way . I've always wanted to wear a bikini but i feel awful about my weird bodyshape and its making me super self conscious.

the article where the pictures from only states about the bodyshape's good points blah blah blah, but it doesnt tell me anything about that bulge gap thing!!!!!!! In fact, i've never come across any exercise articles or whatever regarding how to deal with this.

I know body image is an issue and all that, but i am so frustrated because even though i can wear size 6 (us size), i still look terrible. i rather be a size 12 and have a normal body shape than my current size and this horrid shape

tell me what to do or how i can dress it , or does anyone have the same issues??

I'm sorry that was a rather annoying outburst, but im so desperate

11 years ago

Body Type

19 replies

Latest reply was from Martha L.

dizzys

Active Member

Hi there,
I can commiserate with you. After loosing a ton of weight I am still dealing with my self image. I am a rectangle with no real waste definition. The beauty is that we are all different and need to learn to love our selves in the shape we are. You can lift weights to add muscle to your build and reshape a bit, but you can't spot reduce your fat or change your skeletal build.

I would recommend studying up on the clothing that will look the best on your shape and be kind to your self. You are beautifully and wonderfully made!

11 years ago

Emily

Veteran

Hey there -

You sound like you have a very similar shape to mine. I am about the same height and weight, hourglass (like you!) with broader shoulders. I understand that you are concerned re: your thighs, and I think I have the same extra indent between my hips and thighs. You are slim with strong legs and that is a pretty awesome thing.

I don't want to sound like an after school special, but - bear with me - your body shape and awareness are probably changing wildly and have been for a year or two. I guarantee you that the flaw you see is exaggerated and magnified in your mind when you look in the mirror. I vividly recall looking in the mirror at 17 and being horrified.

I have seen those Trinny and Susannah body types before and I'm not a fan - I think that more general body type guidelines are more usfeul. Have you taken a look at Angie's body types? http://youlookfab.com/2006/04/.....%E2%80%9D/ I bet you are an hourglass with a slight tendancy towards pear.

You probably look fantastic in jeans, trousers and skirts, once you find the right fit. Finding pants that fit is personally one of my least-favourite shopping trips - I can try on every style at every store in the mall and find one pair that is just right. If you don't think trousers and jeans look good on you, it is probably the fault of the particular pants fit.

As far as skirts, could it be the length that makes you feel stumpy? I have rather shapely-veering-towards-wide calves and feel I look best in the classically flattering just-above-knee length skirt with a low vamped shoe. For a longer skirt or booties I think I need a heel to make it work.

I hope you take some time to flip through other forum members' WIWs. A wide range of body types are represented on the forum in lots of fabulous looks. I completely sympathize with your body frustration, and I hope you will overcome it and post fabulous looks of your own!

11 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

Before I reply more to your post, do you think this body type that I linked to below fits you? When I saw the "skittle" this is what I thought of, the "figure 8 shape", which is a perfectly normal and common variation on the hourglass.

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......pes-8.html

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......shape.html

11 years ago

anne

Veteran

You seem to have posted this twice - I have just responded on your other thread

11 years ago

rnb

Active Member

Ugh I hate how all the "types" stuff pathologizes totally normal bodies (I am waiting for the day that someone tells us that having a certain sort of elbows, the kind that bend, is a problem to be fixed with clothes). The hip thing is basically part and parcel of having a skeleton: http://size10plz.tumblr.com/po.....top-caring

Check out this model: http://www.hobbs.co.uk/images/.....70_505.jpg

Even her hips do the thing where you can see the curve of the hip bone and then another thigh curve and she's been airbrushed.

11 years ago

anne

Veteran

rnb - great article!!

11 years ago

Raisin

Veteran

My hips do that too. I have an overly "bony" frame. Bones jut out at all angles no matter what weight I am. I was self conscious of it at your age as well. In fact some people had a nice name for the bones that sick out of my shoulder blades (which I've never seen on anyone else). And I'm thinner now then I was 10 years ago, so I can only imagine they look worse. But it's my body and I don't care what others think of it anymore. I know it's hard not to care, but do try to take it easy on yourself. We are all made differently and that's ok. It's not because you are fat or wrong in any way, it's just the way your hipbones are positioned. And we can't do anything about our frame!

As for dressing the hip bones...I find I look good in bootcut jeans, trousers, slim trousers that still have movement in the hips. And don't be afraid to wear a bikini! At your size most people would be envious and not at all noticing your hips! Just try to remember your body is a gift. I know it sounds cheesy, but once you realize that later on in life you will wish you didn't care as much when you were younger. I am positive you are beautiful!

11 years ago

Jules

Veteran

Have you tried a fuller bikini bottom? Not the classic skimpy triangle, but boy cut or 50s style - think Katy Perry.

11 years ago

ZFMD

Active Member

Consider that it might be the pants that are making you look short-legged. Low rises (and even so-called midrises) will do that. I see so many fashion guides that insist women must wear high heels to lengthen the leg line, but the fact is they wouldn't need to do that if they weren't already making their legs look shorter. Low rises do look good on certain body types, but pears and hourglasses (and skittles, if you like) can look great in clothes that emphasize the waist. If you feel you don't look good in pencil skirts, try a circle or full skirt, or a fit-and-flare dress. If it comes to just above the knee your legs will look longer. Finally, appreciate the figure you have now. I wish that when I was your age the time I spent criticizing my figure had been spent focusing on its good points instead. When I look at photos of myself from that time (and I was about the same size as you), I don't see hip dips or a lower belly pooch or chubby thighs. I just see a fabulous hourglass figure.

11 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

I am cheering for what rnb said above! ^^

That said, I recall as a chubby teenager with rounded hips actually *longing* for that dip in the hip, which looked so feminine and non-chunky. To my super-critical and not very self-confident eye at the time, that little dip looked like something skinny girls had that I couldn't! Now I have it because I grew love handles on top, not because I grew thinner... and I can no longer see what the big deal is! :-p

Partly, it has to do with the fact that it hardly shows through most clothes, really. A garment usually has to be stretchy and very fitted, hence clinging, for the dip to show. For another, I'm just DONE with disliking body 'flaws' --- it's a human body that grew and continues to grow organically, it's not a gingerbread doll from a cookie-cutter mould. It does not be an air-brush-happy magazine editor's idea of 'only acceptable appearance' (and hey, I worked at a women's magazine once!) but it is still a pretty darn good amazing miracle. The things it does! It is awesome.

I urge you not to use words like 'horrid' for yourself or your own body. It just leads to a spiral of resentment, fearfulness, depression --- and you forget to see how great this thing you have IS! It's like rejecting a huge luscious black forest cake because one of the cherries on top has a dimple in the 'wrong' place. Ridiculous!

As long as the bump/dip bothers you (and I put it in those words because I sincerely hope it won't be a permanent attitude for you either, given how many of us have already related coming out of body uncertainty to body confidence in time), just dress to disguise. Like I said, it is harder to do with garments that cling --- like a bikini --- than with those that skim the form. But it is NOT impossible, especially in a part of the anatomy that is soft enough to be moulded slightly.

The right bikini shape, and hey, a similar shape in daily underwear, will reduce the dip for many of us. Look for fuller coverage on the side of the hip and a waistline that's not too tight (which causes muffin top and exaggerates the dip).

But last and certainly NOT least, please don't obsess about this. Trust us, no one spends ALL their time with you with a laser focus on the shape of your hip --- not unless they have medical issues of some importance themselves. You should take the focus off to, or at least dial it back a notch.

None of us, perhaps, will love *every* last thing about our bodies. And it's common to be envious and want X's pretty collarbones, Y's broad shoulders and toned arms, Z's gorgeous red curls. But disliking our own parts --- forgive me for being blunt --- is being both immature and short-sighted. I'm willing to bet X, Y and Z have perceived 'flaws' (or dislikes) of their own --- and it's not what we focus on, right? Enjoy what you have. Because we are ALL, without exception, worth it.

11 years ago

tora

Member

thank you everyone for your comments, i really appreciate them. I do see your points on self image. I really like your tips on dressing and i never knew other people actually had hip dips too. i guess being a teen is pretty tough

you guys are amazing. i feel better now

11 years ago

tora

Member

@ claudia, yeah the hip dip thing :S

11 years ago

tora

Member

@ runnerRae well its not really bones, i see it as fat lol , but i know how to dress it better now thanks

11 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

tora, please don't get hung up on some "ideal" body type or perceived figure "flaws." I know it is difficult when all you see as the "ideal" are well styled, edited, and photoshopped models and celebrities.

I was your age in the 1970's and had read three major things in magazines like Seventeen, Glamour and Cosmopolitan that messed with my self image for many years and it was so wrong, false and stupid. These things were:

- The "perfect" breasts passed the pencil test (no droop or fold so a pencil wouldn't be held under the breast tissue). My teenage breasts held a pencil and so that made me feel like they were "wrong" and unattractive. Made me want to hide my chest and felt ashamed. I had also read that the "best" shaped breasts could fit in a saucer shape style of champagne glass; well my cup runneth over there, too.

- A female's "ideal" weight should be your height in feet, 5 feet being @ 100 lbs to start, and for each inch over that add 5 pounds. This formula obviously didn't take into account bone frame and muscular features of all the different types of normal, beautiful bodies. For years I was obsessed with not only not going OVER this arbitrary threshold, but that thinner was EVEN better. That bit of asinine magazine "advice" probably gave a lot of girls eating disorders. I know for me and my group of friends it was how we judged ourselves. UGH!!!

- The "perfect" legs had three "keyholes" when you stood and looked in a mirror with your ankle bones touching together.

I hope this utter nonsense is no longer published for girls and women to read and judge themselves and others by. But I just wanted to share with you my own experience how this stuff is and was so idiotic, damaging and such a waste of time to worry about.

Dressing tips for all the various body types can be very helpful in getting the most flattering fits and silhouettes, but there are no real hard rules, and anyway, fashion rules are meant to be broken.

11 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh Claudia, I remember those perfect body guidelines. Especially the breast fitting into the glass thing (I *liked* my breasts but still was a bit aghast at how I would have overflowed that benchmark), and the leg test, which, sad to say, still plagues me. I became aware that I had Saddlebags (yes, capitalized) at the age of fourteen and have never ever forgotten it. I am 47 and still grapple with my feelings about my legs.

The great thing about this time in history is that even though there are a lot of negative messages for girls and young women that promote feelings of inadequacy, there are a lot of empowering ones too. Tora, kudos to you for seeking out this forum and others that make you feel good about your body and yourself. Please be kind to yourself -- it takes practice, and it's a mental habit. Really, it's that simple. When you catch yourself making a negative thought or comment about yourself, stop and turn it around into something positive. It takes time and work, but you will be happier for it in the long run.

We're glad to have you participating here!

11 years ago

Martha L.

Member

I know this is an old post, but I hope this message gets to you.

I have the same exact body shape. I'm tall and wear a size 5, and it still plagues me (though at least it's not as prominent now since I've lost a bit of weight). I hate feeling like I can't wear anything form fitting. Other girls can flaunt their body in a tight dress and look sexy, and I feel like I couldn't get away with that even if I wanted to. I've never worn a bikini. Until a few years ago, I always wore a t-shirt and shorts over my bathing suit when I went swimming.

It's still a struggle, but even though I can't say I'm thrilled with my body I've made some progress. One thing that's helped is that lately, all of a sudden, there's been awareness of the hip dip. I can remember googling it every way I could think of a few years ago, and finding NOTHING about hip dips. It was like I was the only person in the world shaped this way. I thought I was abnormal.

But now there are entire blogs, Reddit threads, and Tumblrs dedicated to hip dips:

http://hipdips.tumblr.com/
http://www.reddit.com/r/female.....ts/1fyxny/
http://violinhips.wordpress.com/

Those are just a few. But if you're like me, it makes you feel better just knowing that this is actually pretty common (just under-represented in media), and you're not deformed. Maybe you're not at the point yet where you can find your body beautiful (I'm still working at it), but at least it's not hideous!

I've even started seeing a lot of models with hip dips. They used to be non-existent, but I notice them frequently now. So there's a small victory.

When it comes to bathing suits, if you're too self conscious to bare all, wear a retro swimdress. I would still be wearing t-shirts and shorts in the pool if my best friend hadn't bought me this adorable vintage swimsuit. It has a skirt that starts high up on my waist (the part where I look thinnest), and then ruffles out over my "bone handles" and dip. Not to be confused with the frumpy old lady swim dresses you see all the time. This style is shorter, but still long enough to cover what you want it to. And it's CUTE. I get compliments on it all the time. Here are some examples:

http://www.vintagetrends.com/t.....9-7026.jpg
^That's just like mine! Only mine is black.

http://img0.etsystatic.com/000.....jpg?ref=l2

http://productshots2.modcloth......jpg?136580

http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/.....UrJiCw.jpg

The only downside is retro swimsuits are usually pricy (because they're so stylish!). My friend bought mine second hand for only $15 from an etsy shop. So look around for a good deal, or make one yourself. The design is very simple, so you don't have to be an experienced seamstress to make one.

When it comes to everyday clothes, wear peplums for a flattering silhouette. I've even gotten away with wearing a tight pencil skirt, by wearing it with a peplum blazer. It made it look like I had an hourglass figure. The peplum just has to start at the narrowest point of your waist, and be long enough to cover the dip.

http://theclothingmenu.com/wp-.....2x1024.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pZLX.....m+Skirt.jp

http://www.thefashionpolice.ne.....um-top.jpg

http://www.pinkmascara.com/Ima.....um-top.jpg

http://cdn.yoox.biz/37/37478466PB_11_f.jpg

You can also wear pencil skirts if they're made from a stiff fabric (as opposed to a tight, stretchy fabric). The key is to have a waistband that fits snugly around the narrowest part of your waist, but then puckers out a bit to create a rounded shape at the top. It creates the illusion of smooth, rounded hips, completely hiding your hip dip. Basically, you want a structured skirt instead of a flimsy piece of material that conforms to your body.

http://cdnc.lystit.com/photos/.....-pencil-sk

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files.....1381786145
I have a suede skirt like this in a different color, and it's perfect if I wear it high-waisted.

When it comes to jeans, after years of frustration (only being able to find low-rise jeans that cut right into the dip and emphasize my "muffin top"), higher rise jeans are now easier to find (without looking frumpy). What works best for me are jeans that hit an inch or two below my belly button. If you can afford it, Not Your Daughter's Jeans is a great brand that makes mid-rise and high waisted jeans (I can't afford it, but I won a pair). I've also scored perfect jeans at secondhand stores. And once again I must emphasize the advantage of basic sewing skills. I often buy pants at Goodwill that are way too big, and just trim the outside edges off to make them whatever size/fit I want them to be, and then sew them back together. Custom fit pants for as low as 50 cents.

Long, loose cardigans and vests can hide just about anything. Circle skirts, fit-and-flare dresses, a-line skirts, and maxi skirts/dresses are all great choices.

http://cdnlg.jigsaw-london.com.....d27136e95/

I hope these tips help. I just felt compelled to share my experiences with you so you wouldn't agonize over this issue for years, like I did. Good luck in learning to accept your body, and finding others who love it even when you don't.

10 years ago

Gigi

Veteran

Martha, even though I don't think the original poster is a member anymore, your post can still help members of the forum who are here now...like me! I too am this shape, and for years I thought my body was ugly and that there was something wrong with it. I would try exercising to take off what I thought had to be excess fat, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't going to work, because what seemed to be the problem was *bone*! I am so glad to know that someone is here who has the same body shape! Woo hoo!

I had not heard of the term "hip dip" to refer to this type of hip. I have heard it called a "shelf." I have heard the body shape called "spoon shape" or "figure 8" (I use the latter; see the Inside Out Style blog). I find that if you have this shape, the usual body shape descriptors just don't work, and you need to seek out information geared to this specific body shape.

I too have found that midrise jeans work the best. I have actually had severe pain from low-rise jeans where the side seams rubbed against my hip bones. But the jeans fit perfectly everywhere else, and the next size up was clearly too big. (I'm looking at you, American Eagle coated jeans in eggplant! *sigh*) It's tough to get the right fit in pants. And that just makes you feel worse about your body.

With the pencil skirts, having them taper at the bottom also really flatters this type of figure. As far as other skirts, I have read (but have not tried this personally) that anything that flares from the hip is unflattering; but if it flares from the knee or further down, you're OK.

I read on the Inside Out Style blog that peplums are great for this figure. Can you believe I don't have any peplums? I keep telling myself I'd better hit the stores while the style is still "in" and stock up!

One thing that helped me feel better about my body was a book called *The Triumph of Individual Style*. The authors talk about how to dress your body, and they include features like the shelf hip. The nice thing about this book is that the authors give two possibilities for dealing with each body characteristic: camouflage it OR highlight it! This blew my mind, that I could actually highlight my hips. And the authors reprint artwork from master painters--it was encouraging to see that painters actually thought that this body shape was beautiful!

I do think that a lot of what led me to dislike my body was, as you point out, almost a complete lack of models with this shape. I still sometimes feel isolated when I am asked what my body shape is: inverted triangle, hourglass, pear, or rectangle? Well, none of the above. None of them matches what it is to have the particular combination of dressing challenges that comes with a figure 8 body.

10 years ago

Meli

(website)

Active Member

Before I read the comments- really structured clothing will help. Loose, stretchy knits will only highlight your shape. Stay away from leggings, jeggings, thin clingy fabrics. Get thicker fabrics, real denim and structured shapes like trouser fits. You will probably be best off with mid rise- stay away from low rises

10 years ago

Martha L.

Member

"I am so glad to know that someone is here who has the same body shape! Woo hoo!"

Glad my comment helped! I figured even if the OP didn't see it, it might help out someone.

You're right about the typical body shape classifications. I hate them so much! The figure 8 shape is NOTHING like the standard hourglass, pear, or apple. Another thing I hate about these dumb classifications is how they're so arbitrary. Who says "apples" always have long legs, "pears" are necessarily flatter chested, etc.? Instead of making the body types general, so that most women could fit into one of them, they tack on all these stipulations that make no sense. Even the description of the figure 8 body type does this. To me, the distinguishing characteristic of this body type is the hip shape. Period. Supposedly we tend to carry weight in the rear, but that's not me at all. My butt is small and flat and when I gain weight it stays the same size.

I think having such specific, rigid categories just makes women feel even worse when they don't fit into one (i.e. me!).

"As far as other skirts, I have read (but have not tried this personally) that anything that flares from the hip is unflattering; but if it flares from the knee or further down, you're OK."

Really? Skirts that flair at the hip are very flattering on me. I don't see how they could be unflattering, because they hide everything underneath. Maybe that advice assumes that all women with a hip shelf also have wide hips. Mine are really narrow (*maybe* 35"), so flared skirts don't make my hips look big (though personally, I think large hips are beautiful and I envy them, I don't think women should camouflage them!).

Circle skirts, tutus, skater skirts, etc. look the same on me as they do on a girl with "normal" hips, and I love it.

10 years ago

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