Wedding guest dress blues

Stagiaire Fash

I'm stressing that the dress I bought for an upcoming wedding looks like an old lady going to church! Please help me pick something else.

This probably would've made me happy, but is sold out (even though Yoox says they have 1 left). I would've worn it with blush booties, to the weddin and to work.
https://mobile.yoox.com/us/345.....sizeName=M

8 years ago

Shopping

17 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

cindysmith

Veteran

Sorry, was in the wrong tab.

8 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

The other one you posted seems more appropriate for the wedding occasion. This seems a bit more casual, but it is a cool dress.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thank you Janet! I've lost a bit of weight, and Mom is upping the ante by telling everyone how great I look.
Truth is. I've backslid a bit. The scale doesn't show it yet, but the mirror does! I had some muscle tone before; my tummy is bigger now.

8 years ago

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Are you saying that the first dress doesn't fit? I really like it. I don't know your age, style, etc. but it isn't old lady. I know 25 year olds who would wear it.
What you wear with it can skew it sweet or a bit tough or a bit eclectic. Dainty sandals or cage sandals or booties, or?Delicate jewelry or bold or mixing metal and leather or ?
I'm not the person to find a similar dress. I hope you put together a look you like.
And maybe you can kindly ask your mother to stop? Explain how it's affecting you?
And remember, we can focus on things no one else will notice.
Good luck, and enjoy the wedding.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thanks Barbara Diane!
The dress still fits me fine. It's just that I'm not 25 any more, but still want to look good.
I've been planning to wear pretty basic 2" nude for me slings with sort of chunky heels or white 2" mules.
I wish my mother wouldn't talk about me, but after years of asking her not to, I've pretty much given up.

8 years ago

Anonymous

The dress looks timeless, not old lady at all. Just don't wear it with a white/ off white cardigan. Those things add years.

8 years ago

The Cat

Veteran

Surprised to read that you are "not 25 any more". Your talking about your mother and your concerns about looking like an old lady going to church gave me the impression that you were very young and insecure.

Of the two dresses you have shown, I think the other one would be more suitable for a wedding, in particular if the dress is a little longer on you than on the model. If it is a church wedding, please be careful about showing too much skin. In many churches, naked shoulders and upper arms are not well-seen as they might distract others, so it may be best to wear a shawl or jacket over the dress while in church.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Cat, it is healthy to shake one's insecurities re mom early in life, but some of us hang onto them decades into adulthood, even while traveling the world for work, raising children, and otherwise looking successful to others. There is even an entire profession rumored (half-jokingly) to be based on mommy issues. I didn't claim my worries were logical, just that I have them, and that I appreciate the nearly unanimously supportive comments here. Not wanting to look like an old lady is not restricted to young women. Many old ladies don't want to look like old ladies! That probably says more about our collective values than it does about those individuals.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

sorry--didn't mean to repeat

8 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Seems right for a wedding to me

And on the tangent, I'm not sure there are those little old church ladies any more. The pastel blue hair has a whole new meaning now... so even if you did the hair...

8 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Well i must be an old lady going to church then. You have to change your words. We are what we think we are we are what we say we are. We believe what we say we are. So a woman thinks think so she is.

Words have true meaning and true power. Now on to the Dress. This dress me is very casual. I really like the dress in the first picture and I could see you wearing that would blush booties or blush accessories. Shift your mind. Shift words then your actions.

You do a disservice to yourself and to others when you say old lady Church dressing. But what church you're going to laugh out loud?

And believe me I am old.

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8 years ago

Style Fan

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I prefer the fit and flare dress in the other post for a wedding. This one looks more casual.

Well said LeDonna. I like your outfits for church.

8 years ago

Liz

Veteran

I do like the other dress better for a wedding. I also appreciate the cautions to be aware of how you're thinking and talking of this anxiety. "Old lady going to church" has a lot of assumptions built into it about women, about age, and about church goers. You could as easily say, "I'm feeling anxious about this dress. I'm XX years old and want to project a feeling that i am __________ " (insert your descriptors of choice.) That way, you're getting at your worries about it without using "old lady" and "church" as perjoratives.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Ledonne and Liz, my apologies for any offense.
I was assuming that the stereotype I used was long since retired, at least as long ago as the SNL skit, but recent enough that people would still understand what I was talking about, including the messages about women and age tied up in it that I seek to avoid. I'm sorry for any hurt I caused you.

LeDonne, the dress in this pic is one I would have liked to get, but it's no longer available. I posted it because I just signed up here (hence didn't realize the boundaries) and had no other way to show my sense of style, if anyone wanted to suggest alternatives to the dress in my other post. That's probably as clear as mud. Sorry!

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

"The pastel blue hair has a whole new meaning now... so even if you did the hair...
"

Haha--very true! A friend of mine is very proud of the dye job she just did on her daughter. It was especially difficult because before applying the blue, they had to take out the pink.

8 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Oh the joys of expressing oneself over the internet. It can be challenging to get humor and your point across at the same time. I'm sure as we get to know each other across the vast space of the internet that your sense of style and your sense of humor will become apparent. Welcome to the boards and I'm sure all will work itself out maybe you could post more options in your other post about the type of style and the type of dress that you like and then we could help you from there.

8 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thank you for the empathy in that post! I probably should be more careful about trying to be humorous online in general.

I've gotten all positive comments on the dress in the other post, so am going to trust the hive that the dress is fine and assume that I'm just being jittery.

I've been told the wedding will be "pretty dressy" It is outdoors at the intersection of the Midwest and post-industrial America. Lots of evangelicals, some Catholics, probably no non-believers other than my son and me.

8 years ago

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