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Wedding Gift; Suggestions?

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

My very good friend is getting married this summer, and due to some uh, awkwardness, I don't think I can attend the wedding. He considers me his "best girl friend" - and we've known each other for about six years.

They do not have a gift registry. They are of an ethnicity where cash is typically the gift.

I'd like to be generous, but not over the top either, so I'm hoping you guys would be able to help me with this. I am hoping to stick to cash (uh, a cheque), but I'm also a student, so they know what kind of a budget I am on. The wedding invitation was for myself and a guest.

Would I contribute $100 for myself and a guest? I'm open to any price range under $600.

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17 replies

Latest reply was from MsMary

MsMary

Veteran

I'd say $200 if you want to be super generous. $100 is fine and is my general number for not-that-close friends, $200 for close friends. For a student I think $100 is perfectly fine for a close friend, especially if you're not going to the wedding.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I would have said between $100 & $200 depending on what feels right to you.

missvee

Veteran

As you're not going to the wedding, $100.00 would be just fine.

chadya

Veteran

$100 is fine, you are a student, no need to include your guest.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Maybe $100 cash and $50 gift card to their favourite restaurant?

Neelie

Veteran

I was going to suggest a gift card to a great restaurant or tickets to a great play or a piece of art (or gift certificate to an art gallery)

While cash is the most common gift in my ethnicity as well, and I got lots of cash, the only gifts I remember (almost 25 years ago now!) are the actual gifts that some people took the time to select for us...a specific vase that I use a lot, some antique sterling silver serving spoons, a piece of art etc. You don't have to give cash just because it is typical. And then the value can be whatever you are comfortable with,

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

If you aren't going, $100 gift is extremely generous. I don't think there would be any expectation for more than that.

Alassë

Veteran

$100 sounds quite generous to me.

Glory

Veteran

I agree - between $100 and $200. If you are not attending you can comfortably give the lesser amount and feel just fine about it.

rachylou

Veteran

$100 is more than generous, especially as a student.

Anonymous

I agree with the majority that $100 or whatever you can afford is generous gesture since the couple knows that you are a student with a limited budget. You are under no obligation to give a gift at all if you are not attending and no way should anyone dictate how much you should give.

But I would also like to say that what couple expect as monetary gifts nowadays is ridiculous. Not that all weddings are like this, but I attended a wedding that cost over $40,000 for about 150 guests. Our table was composed of people who were friends of the parents of the bride. After the wedding we were astonished to hear that the couple was disappointed that they received cash gifts less than the at least $500/couple that they were hoping to get so that they could recover the money they spent on the wedding. I, as a guest, should not be expected to subsidize anyone's wedding. I attended the wedding out of courtesy to my friend to help celebrate the union of her daughter and now husband, not to fund their expectations. They should have had a smaller wedding and saved a few bucks instead. It will definitely make me think twice before I accept any future invites.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

A hundred dollars and a gift card sounds very kind, to me. Only very close friends or relatives would spend that much for a wedding gift, in my little subset of the culture. One of my typical wedding gifts is a Penzeys' spice crate, 50-150$.

Emily

Veteran

$100 sounds very generous to me since you aren't attending the wedding - maybe with a nice card and a box of chocolates or something?

viva

Veteran

I still remember getting a gift card to a local art gallery and then visiting it with my husband later to choose something for our apartment. That was a really great gift. It's like money but one step more personal. $100 or $150 would be the max I would say, given the situation.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I ended up getting them a luxury hotel package to a resort town (Rimrock Hotel at Banff, AB) for when they are here for a month to do some work stuff - It ended up being about $250.

I thought it'd be a nice chance to relax for them as a couple, and the brunch is to die for there. It's also my favourite hotel on the face of the earth... and enclosed a magnet so they can stare at it and wish they were there until next year when they are gonna visit

elpgal

Veteran

That is super generous and thoughtful of you. Your friends are very lucky!

MsMary

Veteran

That sounds great! Nicely done!