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Wearing White to a Wedding?

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Ladies, I have three wedding this summer, and I'm wondering if I can wear this white dress? I know white is "taboo" in most cases, but since this is obviously NOT a wedding dress, do you think it would pass? It's available in black as well, but black isn't best on me and I'd get more wear out of the white...

I need something with a front placket so I can breastfeed in it, and this is the only dress I've found that I liked that fit the criteria...and it's on sale, but still really spendy. sigh.

Vince Pleated Shirtdress

$425.00 $169.20

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32 replies

Latest reply was from penelope2831

Joy

Veteran

I love this dress but think you definitely need to add color besides white to the dress ( more than just shoes and bag). Maybe a scarf in black, beige or a color, a topper?

Anonymous

It's very pretty but I absolutely would not wear it to a wedding, regardless of wether the bride approved or not. I think you risk to be judged harshly by the guests and families as well.
It's such a sacred convention to so many people it might seem insensitive and self absorbed to challenge it.

Diana

Veteran

I would not risk it unless you know every single person who is going to be there, and know that they'll be OK with it. Don't want to offend someone's grandma or aunt by mistake....

crutcher

Veteran

Sorry but white is reserved for the bride...I absolutely would not wear a white dress to a wedding...I hope you can find something else...

Diana

Veteran

Would something like a DVF wrap dress work with a cami underneath?

jackiec

Veteran

Hmm, I'd totally wear it. I'd add interest with accessories/shoes, but I wouldnt go bright. Neutrals, metallics, etc. i suppose it depends on who's there, as has been mentioned.

Elle

Veteran

It's a pretty dress but I would say it's not appropriate for most weddings. Traditionally white is just for the bride and even if the bride is OK with it, her mother might not be. It doesn't seem worth offending someone.

Could you wear a skirt with a flowy top so that you could easily breastfeed?

unfrumped

Veteran

Sorry, would never wear an all-white dress, particularly not intentionally buying such a dress for the event. Unless you were attending a themed "reverse" wedding where guests were instructed to do so!
I even avoid white jackets, white blouses (things that are "up top" in photos) though that is more extreme, but definitely not all-white.

I know it can be difficult for summer dresses, since of course you would find your dream dress in white.

Sal

Veteran

Interesting, I would wear it, I don't think we have that tradition here in NZ and lots of people wear white to a wedding in non bridal ways.

I had a similar situation, i had a one month old baby and I opted for a wrap top and skirt, in a dusky pink. It was a two piece dress really. I don't think it was my best look but it worked, and whilst I never wore it together again I did wear both separates quite a bit, especially the skirt.

How about a jumpsuit, some of them have button up tops?

AviaMariah

Veteran

I agree with the others that I don't think it's worth the risk to wear white. People can be pretty sensitive about this and you don't want to "ruin" the day for someone. But I will totally commiserate about finding cute summer dresses that are BF friendly. I have avoided looking because it's depressing.

Thistle

Veteran

I would not wear white to a wedding unless I was the bride. Not worth the hassle, and even if the bride is okay with it, there will be a lot of older family members that probably won't be.

What a skirt and top instead of a dress? Especially in a transitional post baby body, I would see what you have that you can make work or I would consider fast fashion for this purchase.

Thistle

Veteran

What about something like this with a fab nursing top over it?

http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/.....=431894032

http://www.hm.com/us/product/52026?article=52026-D

Suz

(website)

Veteran

So interesting -- it seems like this is a regional thing. I'd wear it with more colourful accessories. It would suit you, too.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I wouldn't, sorry. It's a nice dress, though.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, ladies. I know two of the three weddings would be OK with it, but the third is more traditional and I know the couple less-well. I can't justify the cost to wear it to only two of the three, so I'll keep looking!

Gail

Veteran

I wore a lace dress in a very light cream last year to a wedding. I didn't feel out of place. I had bright turquoise accessories. I do think that if you are going to wear white you should do some bright accessories . There were several other guests there in white.

always trying

Veteran

Another reason not to wear white, at weddings there may be older women, like grandmothers and even great grands, old aunts, etc. who would be commenting behind your back. Being old myself this would not bother me, but I would be the recipient of the comments from the olds there.

Katya

I still remember the friend who wore white to my wedding over thirty years ago. I scarcely noticed it during the actual event, but it does stand out in the pictures.. I know that dress codes for weddings have relaxed since I was married, but why take a chance on offending anyone? I do sympathize with the difficulty of finding a suitable dress for all three weddings.

rachylou

Veteran

Ya, best to pass IMHO. Maybe it's an American thing, like white shoes (look! we do have culture and traditions! ahaha!).

darla

I'd wear it... There's so many rules that just don't hold true anymore. It's not a sparkly fancy white dress that could compete with the bride. I notice the only women that get talked about by the older women at weddings are those that are dressed inappropriately daring. You know the type.

Cococat

Veteran

Yes, where I'm from in Australia, people wear white to weddings, but in a non-bridal way with coloured accessories etc.

It's a lovely dress.

clairelv

i love this one as well and i love white dress but i am a little bit overweight so i don't dare to wear white one ...
pity

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Nope, sorry.

Echo

Veteran

It is absolutely not appropriate to wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. It doesn't matter if the dress is bridal or not; it is generally frowned upon by brides and by the bride's family. Generally, even if the bride is okay with it (though really, what else can she say when asked?), anyone older than 40 will talk and whisper and point. Last, as someone else said, white REALLY stands out in photos. Even in pictures of crowds, the person in white stands out.

annabelle

Veteran

Jenava, with your coloring could you wear the dress in black? I just looked at it and I see that it is polyester; the white dress would not dye reliably without a true expert.

MsMary

Veteran

Nope, one doesn't wear white to a wedding unless one is the bride.

Too bad, because I'm sure that dress is divine on you. But, just... no.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Women wore white to our wedding and I didn't feel insulted at all. Clearly, I was the bride.

I do think though, that people in the US take the white taboo thing a lot more seriously than in other parts of the world. So it's probably best to go for a non-white dress when you're a guest.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, ladies, I've decided to wear something else...I'm not at all worried about what people say behind my back, FWIW. I find that a complete and utter waste of energy. I also would wear it to two of the three events and I doubt anyone would bat an eye.

It went on deep discount, so I ordered it; but probably won't wear it to weddings. Maybe I'll wear it for my birthday...

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Jenava, if you are sure the bride won't be bothered and you love the dress, perhaps you should wear it. The only way the silly old rules are eliminated is by brave people ignoring them. I doubt anyone will mistake you for the bride. Didn't Kate Middleton's sister wear white to the royal wedding? If they can do it, why can't you? Rules and restrictions be dammed.

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