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Want but won't

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I have some things on my list I want to buy - but won't let myself. One, the shorts are kind of fantasy and way out of budget, but yet I've been hunting eBay for look a likes and striking out. Maybe I should just try them after all. Maybe if they ever get below $100 again. Two is the smaller size of a dress I tried and almost kept a few months ago. Sold out and now it's twice the price on eBay and I just can't stomach spending more than I know it's worth just to see if it fits. Three was lust at first sight when Angie posted earlier this week. It's not even available yet online (how do I know if I'm supposed to be SYC this month? good question!) so I am going to wait it out until it goes on sale. I don't need more pants here for some time yet, so it should work out perfectly.
Am I alone in denying my shopping desires or do a lot of you also keep from spending for similar reasons? I feel like everyone here has a 'order it and try it out' mentality and I'm the hesitator.

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Shopping

19 replies

Latest reply was from Lantana

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Wondering if I'm reverting to my nickel and diming ways, to my detriment. After all, I told myself this year to buy less, more of what I want, rather than settling, and knew it would cost more to get there. I'm not there yet.

Isabel

Veteran

I certainly don't shop my "desires" often. There are so, so many things that I love but they just don't work. And that includes price very often. I think that there are very few people in the world that can be unbridled like that. After all, look how Imelda Marcos and her shoe collection ended up . : )

It does take practice. But I think that there are some guidelines in our heads. For example, I could never spend a lot of money of shorts. I can't explain it, but I wouldn't. After many years of not wanting to do it, I will spend money now on everday shoes and boots. I will also spend a bit more on a bag. And a winter coat. Only you can decide what is worth it. For me, summer clothes just aren't.

catgirl

Veteran

Mo, I think you're torn between two needs - financial and fantasy (and there's an earworm for you). I think we're all in that boat to a degree. I have tried to shop my desires with my needs in mind recently. For example, upgrading warm sweaters can be justified. More jeans really can't.

Nicole D

Veteran

Mo, I think your careful approach is totally reasonable, I could use more of it in my life! I find that things I "really must have" and spend a lot of energy (and sometimes money) on, aren't always worth it. Maybe if I had waited a few weeks instead, they would have been less of a priority and I would have more space in my wardrobe for something really special.
I think most experimenters on this forum do so carefully as well, being mindful of return policies and so on.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I think I've adopted the buy and try approach as well. I return way more than I used to. At least it quenches the desire. So many things (the green moto sweater from FP as an example) look AWESOME to me and I really, really want them. Then I buy and try and am often disappointed. Or, I'll think it's an 8 and the forum thinks it's a 2 or 3.

Astrid

Veteran

I made myself a private board on Pinterest where I pin my wants, kind of a wish list. I could never ever afford to buy them all. Very few items stayed on there for longer than a few weeks and that shows me that sometimes it's good to deny yourself your shopping desires.

And I only order things I'm prepared to spend the money for if they work out. What good would it be if it were the perfect fit and everything and I couldn't keep it because it was over my budget? I'd just be unhappy.

Parsley

Veteran

You're certainly not alone in needing to restrain yourself from buying all those pretty things that are out there!
I think you're right, though, that it makes sense to hold out for just the right thing and then be willing to pay a little more for quality rather than buying several little things that don't quite thrill you.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Great points, all! Thanks. I don't mean to say that everyone spends freely on their every whim here, just that it seems more likely they order at least to 'try on' and then see if it works or not. I can't seem to even go there. Maybe the return merry go round has me gun shy by now.
I do think at some point I am going to bite the bullet and just 'try' the shorts. Maybe I'll find them a letdown and can move on if nothing else he he.

PS the financial is sort of self imposed, Una. Here we make good money and I'd be spending way less than a day of the BF's salary on these items. I would, of course 'hear' about it, though.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Cross posted with you Denise - yes, the TRY part is where I see a lot of others going where I seem to be hung up.

Parsley

Veteran

I sure would love to see those blue pants on you! I bet they'd look fantastic.

catgirl

Veteran

Mo, this is always one of my questions when it comes to $ - how much stress or thought comes from having to justify purchases to someone else? I don't have that issue, but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better about spending if I did. On the other hand, does DH really need to know how much my boot collection is worth?

Jules

Veteran

One thing I do notice about you is that your wants stay very consistent. I would not be able to create a shopping list for the year and (mostly) stick with it. What I want changes often and rapidly. If I was as consistent & loyal as you I think I would bite more often. I don't think I could do it for a dress that is going for double retail, but the shorts? Hellz yeah

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, maybe I could make the shorts a reward of sorts. Lose the two stubborn pounds this month, buy myself fabulous shiny shorts.
Honestly, if I succeed at NOvember and buy nothing, the $$ to buy the shorts would be a totally acceptable amount for a month's clothing budget.
Jules, thanks! and lol. I agree that the dress can just be crossed off the list much as I really want to see if the size down was the answer. Double retail is just something I don't want to support on eBay.

Parsley

Veteran

Hmm, I just saw that the pants are corduroy. Not totally practical for Florida, I guess. I suppose the shorts make more sense for your climate. They look quite short, though.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I really admire your discipline, but sometimes I think the "order it and give it a try" thing works to take the mystique out of an item. I've ordered and returned a lot of things because of this -- in fact, there's an item (a pair of booties) in my car right now that got approval from the forum that I ordered, tried, wore around the house to comfort-check, and then decided to return. If I'd never bought them, I might still be agonizing over them.

You do have very specific, targeted wish-list items, which makes me think that ordering them might not be a bad thing, if the return policies are lenient. I tend to do all of my ordering from places with free returns or where I can return to the b&m stores, and I know that's harder for you. I know I'm a much more impulsive shopper than many here, although I think I'm becoming more thoughtful about what I choose to keep. I'm finding more workhorses in my more recent acquisitions.

DonnaF

Veteran

I buy & try A LOT, mostly Nordstrom online. This is because returns to the store are super convenient for me, there's no deadline for returns, and it is only a matter of a phone call to get an adjustment on my purchase if the price goes down. I think I am also pretty good about returning stuff that isn't quite right, and on a few things I've agonized for months.

I almost never buy anything where I will have to pay for shipping unless I am 100% certain it will fit. I took a huge leap of faith last week (by paying shipping) when I ordered a bra using a recommendation on bratabase.com. I also ordered very cute, very marked down socks with it to give as gifts, so all won't be lost if that bra has to be returned.

Also, when I finally buy something that has been on my list for a long time (chambray shirt, I'm looking at you!), I often find I wear it less than I originally envisioned. By the same token, the serendipitous purchase gets worn to death. Go figure. [And does that mean I should buy the Leith pleather midi-skirt that Angie featured a few months back since it just went 50% off which means the price is reasonable for a slightly ridiculous purchase?] Oh, and I think the chambray shirt would *go* with it okay.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I agree with Janet - we don't know whether something will work or not until we try it imo.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I have been feeling the money crunch this year, especially after all those years of thrifting. But I wanted the motto to be: if I'm not dying to have it despite the price, I probably don't want it that badly. (yeah, I still search for coupon codes and for ebay options for less, but that's after I have the I will have it come hell or high water moment).

This has admittedly led to a couple of expensive mistakes and some annoying reselling and returning. BUT for once the mistake has not been that it I don't love it or that it doesn't go with my other clothes - rather, I'm still in a poopy little experimental phase figuring out what is comfortable on the job.

Since you are not really experimenting and have found a good style groove, I'd probably just pass on the lot of the things above and wait for something you'll kick yourself for missing out on.

Lantana

Veteran

I'm a pinning hesitator. Desirables get pinned until they establish themselves as must haves, then I wait a bit longer hoping for them to go on sale.
Postage on returns is too prohibitive from where I am otherwise Ithink I would enjoy getting a parcel of pretties to try out.
The shorts look retro 70's to me so you might find something similar on Etsy.