On one hand, I’m relieved it’s not just me feeling cranky but on the other, it is sad that b&m retail is hurting so badly.

Angie, I just cannot imagine being so rude to a sales associate in a store, or a server in a restaurant, or any other service employee. I’ve been on the receiving end of it — most notably by a famous songwriter many years ago, when I worked a hotel front desk — and it’s awful.

Even when I encounter service that is mediocre or substandard, I try to engage the worker with kindness and patience, and maybe even humor, and make the situation better. Even when I have a complaint and am feeling frustrated, I tell the rep that and let them know that I am not trying to be difficult, but sometimes you need to escalate to a supervisor or otherwise take an issue up the corporate chain. I always try to acknowledge that the person I’m speaking with is likely doing their best, even though it might not always feel that way in the moment. Sadly, I’ve seen a lot of people — some are even friends and family — treat workers poorly.

Janet, I'm nodding along with every word!

I've learned that one gets a lot further when one is calm and expresses dissatisfaction in a nice way. Sticking to the facts without the emotion. Throwing your toys around makes everyone feel bad. It does not help. Showing empathy almost always does. And complimenting people for great service goes a long way too!

I was speaking to my dear friend about this. We both thought that everyone needs a dose of being in a customer service profession for a while. On the receiving end, as you put it. You will never be rude to other people in customer service roles again

Angie, what a story. So great you were able to make that SA's day. But so sad that rudeness has been so common of late.

Janet, I did a mall tour the other day when I went to Talbots for my shorts (LOL) and I do agree with your observations, but then, August is always a super low month for retail here. The fall stuff should start to appear in earnest in a few weeks and then it will (possibly) be more interesting. But truthfully, you have such a great closet -- you could make endless wonderful outfits with what you own.

I've been mostly coasting for the past few years apart from replacing essentials -- these are my purchases for the entire 3 year period -- excepting undies, gear, and replacement of essentials like navy tops or denim or a striped tee or essential footwear like boots for my walks or white sneakers and a puffer coat that counts as an essential or the new shorts. (Ok, that would sound like a lot of exceptions to a closet minimalist but so be it -- what it represents is dullsville, on its own. Necessary but not a lot of fun.)

Anyway, that kind of puts my buying of fashion at the "French 5" though I was not aiming at that -- and I think the French 5 is 5 per season, not 5 per year -- but if you aren't going out and aren't doing anything, nothing wears out and nothing really feels entirely dated, either.

My clothing budget is smaller than it was for a few years so I anticipate I will be shopping even less (or more at consignment) for the next year or two, but that's okay. Am hoping to enjoy the clothes I have that are still in great shape and find some new ways to wear them with new completer pieces.

Update- one of the boutiques I frequent had basically only cold weather stuff. A few tanks and thinner pants and tops on the sale rack, but the rest turtlenecks and heavy sweaters. Way! Too! Soon!!!! Was hoping for some black linen pants but they only had xs left Noped outa there!

That’s really interesting and rather sad.
It hasn’t been my experience though, funnily enough. I was in our small mall recently, perhaps last Sunday, when I took some photos of skirts for Carla through the windows. And I saw many things that interested me, although also plenty that didn’t ( lots of long tiered skirts that would drown me). But it is a wealthy suburb with fairly upmarket fashion stores, and only a small mall, so maybe that’s why.

Gosh, I haven't been to a proper mall in several years. I live in a very rural area now, and while there is a mall about 45 minutes away, I just haven't been. The only B and M store I sometimes miss is the flagship Nordstroms from when I lived in the city. Your story of the SA pulled at my heartstrings, Angie...like a lot of us, I've worked retail and service jobs with the public...and so glad you made her day better. A little empathy is such a wonderful thing.

Ha @ 'mall tour' Suz - have you seen the S1Ep2 episode 'Three Robots' from the 'Love Death + Robots' Netflix series? They go postapocalyptic sightseeing around typical human establishments (like malls & diners) - a slight digression but it reminded me of your comment Let's hope that's not what becomes of B&M malls pre-apocalypse!

@Angie Yes, a little compassion goes a long way - I think many folk still don't realise the extent of the effect the pandemic has had on their psyches, especially here where the 'lockdowns' weren't so severe (we could still take public transport & go outside etc), so they end up (un)intentionally taking it out on others. Sad to see, but hopefully we will soon collectively wake up to its long-term effects

Thoroughly off-topic now. Have people actually treated others waiting on them worse of late, or do we just notice it more?

I recall being not entirely pleased at the fuss restaurant waitstaff would make over my son saying “please” and “thank you” while generally speaking clearly in complete sentences and looking at them. I wanted him to think of it as the norm, and to behave that way automatically. I was afraid the fuss would unintentionally give him the message that good manners are extra, instead of basic requirements. I gently pointed out a couple times that he was merely doing what we expect everyone to do; even if he was still in grade school, there was no reason he couldn’t have adult manners, because it isn’t hard.

Whenever I said that, the response was very clear—yes, they might be basic expectations but no, most adults generally did not treat servers that way. These were not rough bars. More likely California Pizza Kitchen, Brio, and local spots similar to those. Family places where I would think people would want to show their kids how to behave. Still, they were always very emphatic that the treatment they usually received was far below basic good manners. Made me very sad. I stopped pushing back on their compliments for him.

I paid my first real visit to our best mall yesterday - and was actually energized and inspired by the time I left. Granted my bar is a lot lower than it once was, but the mall was buzzing with "kids" (anyone under 25, lol) and parents in back-to-school mode. The shoe stores that carry Converse, Docs and Vans were positively bumping, as was H&M. I was shocked to find the Banana Republic had closed (in June apparently) . I can't imagine their rebranding ever caught on in this market and the merchandising was always subpar . Browns shoes had relocated to a prime main floor location and was super busy. I found a perfect chunky loafer/mule hybrid from their own line that I cannot wait to to wear ! Anthro was my favourite place - mostly because of their excellent displays and the kitchen/candle shops which were full-on fall. There were a couple of things I would have happily bought - wide leg pants, a few interesting jackets, and a very cool woven faux leather bag BUT......I didn't. I picked up a pair of cropped kick flare jeans in black at GAP along with a cute black/brown floral print blouse. Both on major sale from their early fall collection. Wide legs abounded in that store too . I had a limited amount of time so didn't get into Aritizia or Club Monaco (also because I felt decidedly uncool in the outfit I was wearing and needed to get out of there) . I admit it wasn't the tons of gorgeous fall merchandise that got me going ; it was more to do with the people out shopping. And did I mention the 70's WIDE LEG PANTS everywhere?? Lol!

LJP, that’s great! I like hearing that there are some thriving scenes out there. I think some other retail locations here are doing ok — the outdoor center that houses Anthro and Arhaus, amongst others, seems to be doing ok-ish. And there were younger “kids” out at the mall the other day, but most of what was available seemed made for that market and not so much mine. That’s ok! I have enough. I am happy to see full-length, wide-leg, 70s-inspired pants returning. Perhaps once we get a few more weeks towards fall I’ll venture another look. Still projected highs around 85-90 for the next couple of weeks here, which put a damper on my fall aspirations.

Stag, re: kids and politeness, IKWYM. On one hand, it feels right to thank and acknowledge considerate behavior, but without making it TOO big of a deal. Good job raising a son who gets it right! My stepsons also learned pretty well, I’m thankful to say. They’re in their 30s now (wow, did the last 25 years fly by!), but it’s nice to see what great young men they have turned out to be. You have some fun years ahead of you, watching him become truly a young man.

Thanks Janet! I meant that as an example of servers saying they weren’t treated well a decade ago, suggesting that it isn’t new. Didn’t mean to brag on my son or fish for compliments, but I’ll take it—thank you! He’s at the precipice now. I think we’re in for a bumpy start, am hoping to see him soar by the ages your DSSs are.

EDIT: No one needs to read my further ramblings about cultural subjectivity when it comes to perceived politeness 'pre-' & 'post-'pandemic lol, so sorry for derailing the post!

Just wanted to reiterate that I hope we can all be kinder to one another moving forward, both inside & outside of malls

Janet, I agree - was just at the mall and not a single thing jumped out at me EXCEPT in a Canadian store called Dyamite where I seemed to love all the things (and came away with a fall jacket - a replacement for both my faux-leather moto - also from Dyamite but starting show it's age, and my denim jacket which I now must accept as too small).

I think the (lack of) attractive displays is a bit turn-off for me - I can't look through a pile and pick out things, I need someone to lay it out for me.

Angie, kindness is the best way and I'm not a bit surprised that it's the approach you took. I honestly think every service person should be empowered to turn someone away who is raising their voice or being rude. Especiall but not limited to when adults are having a go at kids working at the mall (or grocery store or restaurant). Not acceptable!

I mainly frequent smaller boutiques and know that they have experienced supply chain issues. One of my favourite stores who stocks items from Italy was hoping for her knitwear stock to arrive in May, at the start of winter, it was delayed by the supplier to mid August, when we are coming out of winter. With bans on travel she was unable to travel to Milan to purchase stock, relying on online pictures and the relationship she has with suppliers not to provide inferior stock. One very large designer company was not able to provide her with the bags she ordered and replaced items with different (inferior) bags to make up the order.

Bijou, I’ve noticed changes in one of the boutiques I have frequented over the years. The labels have changed, the styles are more youth-skewed trendy (flippy mini skirts, bare cropped tops that can’t be worn with real bras, etc), and the quality is far more uneven. A lot of the fabrics feel cheap to me. The stuff that does appeal is too similar to pieces I already own that don’t need replacing. So, money saved there! I hope others are finding some good stuff there though, because I’ve gotten occasional gems from that store and would hate to see them go away.

My favorite local boutique is more high end. I can’t walk in there if I’m feeling thrifty. Veronica Beard, Mother, L’Agence, IRO, etc. I visit probably 1-2 times a season and they are very on top of things. Excellent SA’s who now know me and my style. I purchase mindfully there with an eye to longevity. The higher price points make me pause and think more about usefulness and how well an item meshes with my style.

Sadly, malls around here are turning into ghost towns. I think internet shopping, Covid, and increased violence have really affected them. The merchandise looks tired and uninteresting, overpriced for the fabric and workmanship, or what I went in for they don’t have in stock. I used to love going to the mall, now I’d much rather shop on-line or go to a stand alone store.

Karie, that sounds a lot like what’s going on here too.

I’ve been intrigued by the new wider leg slouchier jean styles from the Gap lately, but tall sizes are never in stores, and when I check online it looks like these styles aren’t in stock in local locations anyway. I hate to order jeans online since I usually try a couple of sizes, but I guess that’s what I’ll need to do to try these.

You know what I've noticed? That the seasonal drops are much later than they used to be. August 1 used to be the start of fall mdse arriving in stores, and I'd already be assessing which boots /sweaters etc I'd be buying. Now? Just trickling in .

Yes! I think you're absolutely right, Lisa.

The larger malls here are thriving and some of the smaller or less desirable ones are dire.

It will be interesting to see what happens - my teen sons rarely go to malls or shopping - only on a needs basis for haircuts or sports gear or the movies.

Oh those Gap wide leg jeans look nice! Something different from skinnies and straights. I feel your pain of never seeing tall sizes in stores, it’s so frustrating, and I also like to try on multiple sizes as I am always between two sizes in EVERYTHING.
I was just reading the other posts about treating sales people badly. I worked as a sales associate way back when I was in college for a store called Sears Surplus- they sold surplus merchandise that had been in the Sears Catalog. I once had a customer throw a pair of pants at me because she didn’t want to wait while I found the price. Ugh! I do not miss those days!

We made a trip to the mall in a nearby larger city just last week. My husband needed a few things for an upcoming trip. He got what he needed and I did end up buying a top in Gap but didn't even try anything else on.

For me, Banana Republic was especially disappointing as I remember 10 years ago I would walk in and want to buy up half the store. Everything is either too baggy, too short (tops) or not my fabrics, colors and/or style. I realize it is a transition time between summer and fall so I'm hoping offerings will be more appealing to me in a few weeks when fall/winter inventory starts showing up in stores.

In the meantime, I continue to troll through the consignment shops as I seem to have my best luck there. {Sigh.}

I was feeling disapointed by the b&m choice in two countries(Canada & Portugal) until the end of August.
Portugal has a slightly different timeline for new collections and the FW ones were starting to appear before I came back home.
I spend a particularly lovely time at Caroll https://www.caroll.com/fr_fr/produit/RJ05618F.html
trying out outfits and came up with some nice items. Would probably have bought more if more things from the collection were out and my budget allowed.
A portuguese(I think ) brand that has really surprised me by their desgn and quality is Decenio.
https://www.decenio.com/en/woman_805.html

Regarding SA's , I am in teh group that agrees that at least once in a lifetime everyone should work in a retail or equivalent position. I find truly appaling the way I see people treat servers in restaurants or SA's in stores.