Waiting for wardrobe holes, FoMO, and other musings on wardrobe edits

I re-read the definitions and results of FoMO shopping and dressing (Fear of Missing Out) which appears on Wardrobe Oxygen, and it really made more of an impression this time around, as I think that I do that a lot.

I liked the distinction between smart duplications versus adding too many things that seem like they ought to be “you” but are
not quite right in one or more
aspects. I think that’s a fine line –maybe so fine that you see it after not
before, which would then not be something you can learn as much from, but I think I can see it “before,” as some of these items gave me those
tiny voice doubts but I went ahead.

As I’ve been trying to cut the fluff and dross out of my wardrobe, it’s a great reminder that you may have to actually need something (well, of course “need” is still relative) for it not to be at high risk of being a redundant, orphaned, closet-cramming, wear-splitting—you get the picture.

I’m getting a better sense of the value of living with and getting through a season with real wardrobe holes in order to actually
tell what makes a difference. This seems so obvious, but it can run counter to
the idea of having something for every occasion, plenty of options, or even “loving everything” in your closet.

I am getting down to a level of culling that is like pulling eye teeth, in the sense that it takes me several tryon’s to finally see why I’m not wearing something and then, smackdown!

I'm not at much risk of developing gaping wardrobe holes, as I’m not tossing out 50% (or more!) of wardrobe as some do as a dramatic change, but still making progress with this group of not-terrible, but not-right items that are not adding any value.

It's interesting that some items survive review even though I thought I should probably be tired of them but I am not, they actually still work great, and let go of some things that might be better quality (EF, I’m looking at a few of you) but are now
not quite right, and I can see where I FoMO'd with them, OR they worked when they worked, and it's okay if not now.

I like reading other adventures in closet culling for ongoing inspiration, so maybe this will help someone else, too.

9 years ago

Anonymous

I can relate. I like your phrase : "not adding any value". That's good, and something I can hang my hat on when giving my closet the side-eye. FOMO happens to me with brands/labels that come up here that I think I must try - EF for one (never again) . I'm learning to trust my own knowledge and experience and not dive for every new idea that floats by.

But again - adding value is going to be my new shopping mantra. Thank you!!

Astrid

Veteran

I think what we often perceive as wardrobe holes aren't real ones. For me this is evident when I see that I can dress just fine despite a piece xy that seems to be missing. I recently realised I had a real (potential) wardrobe hole - I gave my dressy oxfords to the cobblers to give them new heels and I had to do without them for seven days. One week isn't all that long, but I went crazy during that time! Because they are at the moment my only pair of shoes I can wear with skirts, besides my knee high boots and it was too warm for those. That meant I had to wear my sneakers all week and I have only two pairs of jeans left to wear with the sneakers and one of these pairs is rather worn out and the other slightly too big. On the other hand I gave into the impulse and ordered a pullover I don't really need a few days ago, which I instantly regretted. Pretty sure I'm going to return it as soon as it gets here.

Stephanie

Active Member

You put so eloquently into words exactly what I've been going through! I did a huge purge in the spring and I've been living with wardrobe "holes" (although Astrid makes a really valid point above and I think there's a very fine line between actual needs and wants) and some items that are not too terrible but not 100% either for some time.

I'm just now starting to build up a little bit and I don't want to add too much, so I've been mulling over my potential purchases SO much more. I agree that living with less in your wardrobe is a great way to visualize what you'd like to change, and can also help you see more clearly whether an item is a real "need" or just a want driven by impulse to fill your wardrobe with something that will make those holes feel less apparent.

It's a painful process sometimes, but it's also forced me to be more creative with what I've got while I'm in my wardrobe awkward phase. I think it's been good for me knowing that I can live with a super small closet and still feel fashionable..but there are some items I'm ready to get rid of once I find good replacements. It's a constant balancing act between too much and not enough and I'm still trying to find my happy medium.

unfrumped

Astrid, the sweater example is spot on! They're so easy to add when something else might add more value or style direction.
Stephanie, it's intersting- thinking of how if daily options are too limited, there's maybd too much pressure to add meh stuff rapidly, but if too much abundance, it's harder to see what really works.

Fascinating post, Unfrumped.

As a side note, I saw your comment on EF quality. Several other posters (including myself) have all noted similar sentiment. And it used to be such a great brand. I was at the mall the other day and found the "perfect silk pant" on deep discount. I left them there because I felt that even at deep discount they were not worth it.

rachylou

Hey. That's brilliant. Going through a season with 'wardrobe holes' and testing how real they are. Yes, there's totally a point when you've gone thru Does it fit?, Is it worn out?, Do I love it?, Does it work for my lifestyle? ... and yet the closet is still needing weeding...

abc

I have been putting off my closet edit and it's probably half full of items you described below perfectly:

not-terrible, but not-right items that are not adding any value.

I have an issue holding on to things longer than I should. I just thought of two tops hanging in my closet that are JUST that - not terrible, but not right and def not adding any value.

I need to just DO IT and let go of the crap, the guilt, the mistakes, the not terrible but doing nothing for me or my mood items.

Thank you for blazing the trail and letting me know it can be done.

catgirl

What abc said! I still have those "just in case" or "good enough" items hanging around. But I've been purging fairly well, and you are inspiring me to continue. A mustard BR jacket is departing, because frankly, just thinking of wearing mustard is making me crabby. Why did I just realize that?! It's amazing how little, if ever, I miss anything that's gone.

I feel you abc! Totally visualized some items in my closet while reading this that fit right into not terrible but not right territory. Yet I hang onto them because my closet is so tiny right now! I think you're right...time to suck it up and let go and let the good stuff shine.

Stephanie, "letting the good stuff shine" is a great way to put it.

You know, I love trail mix, but I got tired of sorting through the bag to avoid the things I didn't like, so I started making my own. All those dang slivered almonds and dried out raisins getting in the way, when all I want are pumpkin seeds, cashews, dried pineapple and M&Ms! Why can't I think of my closet like that?

That is probably the best analogy I have ever heard! Kudos. And so true...actually that's the perfect way to look at it. Let's all get rid of the annoying dried raisins in our wardrobes ladies!

Cerinda

"Fluff and dross" indeed. Now I'm pondering why I tolerate wardrobe fluff but not other fluff. Thanks for a provocative post.

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