As I have mentioned on the Angie's blog today, which was very timely, I have spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out why I have such a strong negative reaction to these types of pants ( on myself, not on others) and came to all sorts of conclusions. After all, I tend to be an early trend adapter, and am relatively slim/tall, yet every time I would try one of these pants I couldn't take them of fast enough as I would feel absolutely miserable in them. It finally downed on me that the happiness factor is very low due to a couple of non-fashion issue related to my past (feel free to stop reading here, as this becomes more of psychological self analysis than anything else).

My while life I have been fairly skinny, especially as a child. My mom (like many moms) would always buy my clothes too big as "I would grow into them", but a lot of times it never happened and I really hated going to school in very over sized clothes - it made me feel quite unhappy.

The main reason, though, has to do with my grown-up life. Since I was 15, for 20 years, my height and weight have been pretty much the same, +/- 2 lb at most. I also prefer more fitted fits of clothes, particularly bottoms in general (interestingly, I have no issues with anything over sized on the top - will happily wear that). A couple of years ago I went through a really painful break up of a 6-year long relationship and ended up loosing a lot of weight ( I believe I was down to ~ 92 lb from mu usual 110 lb on a 5'6" frame) as I literally couldn't eat anything. I looked and felt horrible. All my pants were literally falling of me and people commented on it ( well my friends used it as a reason to try and make me eat more as they were quite worried). Even when I recovered a little and tried to but something that fit properly 00s were often too big. Eventually, I recovered and gained the weight back, but it took more than a year.

Then this in the summer of last year another break-up happened ( though less devastating, but still bad) and the whole weight loss thing happened again as well ( this was the first in the series of various bad things that made made go of YLF for a while). And again the whole baggy pant thing. I am still in the recovery phase this time around, but things are much better.

So, as silly as this might sound, my brain has forged a strong connection between very baggy pants and feeling miserable. While, rationally, I am quite aware that it is not the pants that made me unhappy, I just can not seem to shake those feelings away. Every time I try I end up feeling very unhappy. Not to mention that I still get the comments : "you loosing weight again/not eating/ not over him yet".

I can handle things a bit baggy and relaxed - right now I am still not quite back to my usual weight and a lot of my bottoms are a size or two too big. That I can deal with in moderation - especially with the new tucked-in in belted look. I like some looser fits in thin materials for hot weather. But I do not think I can do the purposefully very baggy/slouchy looks from Angie's post, even though I would like to. I am still trying to decide if it makes sense for me to get a pair of fairly streamlined BF jeans as I really like them on others.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far!