Urban Pretty ~ what does the pretty mean to you - YouLookFab Forum

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Urban Pretty ~ what does the pretty mean to you

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Over the past three and half years, with the guidance of Angie and the forum, I have refreshed and refined my style, absorbing change in both my lifestyle and wardrobe.

I think my style right now can be classified as Urban Pretty. By pretty I mean a presence of softness in terms of fabrication, colour and cut but also the romance and vintage which can punctuate my look. However, I'm aware the word pretty can have negative associations for some garnered from the notion of what is cultural acceptable for a woman in terms of her appearance.

I hope you know that I am not a stepford wife tied by my apron strings to the kitchen sink in a perfectly pastel kitchen but just in case, I would love to know your take on the word. Do you understand my use of the word pretty? On some level is it anti feminist and if so do you think there is a better term to encompass my style goals? Is this a word which is at odds with my biological age of thirty five?

All honest opinions welcome.

Thank you in advance

Jules

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from RoseandJoan

Anonymous

Jules, you have a soft feminine aspect in your style that is you! I think you are on track adding the urban. You are an urban romantic.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Pretty does not have negative connotations to me, in your case! To me -- with you -- it refers to your beautiful soft colouring and large eyes. And coupled with urban, I get the sense of someone who ...hmmm, I was going to say, is more New Wave than punk, but I'm not sure that's completely right. But there's something to that idea, anyway. Does it make any sense to you?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I don't see a negative connotation to "pretty" even though I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe pretty negates strength, intelligence, or anything else for that matter.

The only "pretty problem" I face is in the context of the art world, where I fear my work will never be taken seriously because it celebrates beauty, and these days that tends to be overlooked as frivolous and not serious enough.

I suppose the same fear could be expressed of "pretty" in regards to style and personal aspirations, but I don't know of anyone who has had it get in the way of being taken seriously if they make sure the "pretty" stays situation-appropriate.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

To me it means your style is refined but in a feminine way rather than androgynous or masculine.

Feminists should reclaim words like pretty and feminine. After all, the movement is supposed to be about empowerment and choice. Being attracted to pretty things shouldn't stigmatize anyone.

Anonymous

I agree with Amy. It means refined in a feminine way, there is a softness to it. I don't think it is a negative thing.

Anonymous

You can be fierce, bold, confident, and powerful -- and pretty too. Rock on with your bad urban pretty self!

rute

Veteran

I don't see any negative connotation.. I associated with your style which has a feminine and retro side!

Diana

Veteran

My definition of "pretty" is similar to yours. I think of some softness and fluid movement. Romantic is a good terms too.

I agree with Amy. I think it's time we reclaimed the word "pretty." Same thing with "arty" for that matter.

Sara L.

Veteran

The word pretty doesn't have negative connotations for me. However, since it's your descriptor to help you define your style goals and aspirations, I think the words need to make sense to you and not so much for others. Your interpretation is what matters in this case.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Thank you so much for your responses, I think I may have a classic case of over thinking.

Joy, there is without a doubt a romantic aspect to my style, thank you.

Suz, yes New Wave more Blondie and Joy Division than the New York Dolls and The Clash.

Janet, that is so interest it is almost as though pretty lacks depth within the art world.

Amy and Ceit, I think we may need to reclaim the word and what it means in this decade.

Alicat and Rute, thank you.

Diana, I'm happy we are on the same wavelength.

Sara, a very valid point.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Pretty is never a negative thing in my world. It's always a very positive thing! I have a hard time understanding how it can be viewed as negative. I guess I'm just a softie like you, Jules.

But back to your question! You have articulated pretty for your style just how I perceive it. A softness in terms or colour, fabrication and silhouette. A sense of classic romance and refinement. A little vintage at times.

One of the reasons I love shades of white is because it's both modern and pretty. Crisp, yet soft.

Please can we reclaim the word pretty. WELL SAID AMY.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Angie, you can come join my Tough as a Puddle Team whenever the urge takes you <3

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Member of Team Tough As a Puddle reporting for duty.

JulieJohn

Veteran

I love that we are really thinking about what our styles mean, and how they reflect who we are. It's so thought provoking, and you ladies are so bright and interesting.

Our style is art, we are artists. In a way, everything we DO is art, that is to say it should be.

And it's really therapeutic to acknowledge the parts of ourselves that some might deem "uncool". Such as being tough as a puddle, loving pretty things, or being interested in rough things like chainmail and studs, or showing a little bit of our bras. Look inside, see yourself for who you really are, and love your art, quirks and all.

Day Vies

Veteran

Oh my -- I never took that slant on pretty before. Pretty has so many positive connotations for me. Pretty is a subtle nod at beautiful but stands on its own as a distinct category of attractiveness. Pretty is feminine, light, airy, and unadorned. Pretty is one step before beautiful. If "beautiful" is a rose in it's full flower then "pretty" is a rose bud coming into full flower. Pretty is the morning sun shining through sheer white curtains, where beautiful is a fiery sunset.

Pretty isn't flashy, gilded or overdone. It simply is. I think that's the best I can do.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Day Vies you are a poet, truly.

Juliejohn, I really like your philosophy.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I have no problem with the use of 'pretty' in your style description R.J.
As a Mum to teenaged girls I try not to use it though, lest it is construed as overly important in the scheme of things- as opposed to attributes such as kindness and consideration of others, etc.

rachylou

Veteran

I think of pretty as exactly that, softness. It can go wrong (which, btw, I've never seen you do) as with the whole Stepford wife look. Of course, the problem with that is perhaps actually a problem of leaving the world of pretty into the world of saccharine. Not so much pretty as ignorable (except for the weirdness factor).

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Honestly, I prefer urban soft or urban romantic.

I agree "pretty" should be viewed for what it means and without judgement. And it's time to be embraced by feminists. However, the fact remains that it is a somewhat loaded word. For all of the reasons you mentioned (young, anti-feminist, anti-intellectual as Janet suggests).

ManidipaM

Veteran

I agree with Denise that 'pretty' IS loaded. But hey, so is 'Princess' in the Disney and girls-are-pink-and-purple era, and look at how the UWPs have successfully reclaimed it. I'm all for Amy's agenda and your interpretation of it as vintage-romantic-feminine, Jules!

On a personal level, I'll confess I shy away from the label of 'pretty' for myself precisely because of the possible ambiguous connotations, as a feminist---but that's also exactly why I'm 100% for reclaiming it. (Interestingly, one of the most emphatic feminists in my life is a man who almost always uses 'pretty' as his aesthetic endorsement of choice --- pretty plates, pretty grille on the door, pretty mixie, pretty knife, pretty picture...! LOVE it!)

ETA: Um. Sorry to have dredged this up again. Looks like the case was closed I've been trying to catch up on a week's worth of missing the forum!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Manidipa and Denise, I was just saying to Greg yesterday that I cannot see how the word pretty is loaded. Clearly I am not a feminist or intellectual :). Pretty is always a good thing in my world. Even if you don't like pretty things, that doesn't mean they are bad - it means that you have different aesthetic preferences. I'm glad you want to reclaim the world.

Rosie our Yorkie is pretty. Snow on branches is pretty. Greg's bright blue eyes are pretty. My plates are pretty. I feel pretty when I wear white. Suz's pixie is pretty. Jules's skin is pretty. Jared Leto is pretty. My tomato red coat is pretty.

I LOVE the word Pretty, want to shout it from the rooftops, and hope not to be judged for doing so.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Lyn, I understand where you are coming from as a Mum of two young girls I want them to have confidence in who they are, they are not a trophy!

Rachy, overly sweet actually makes my teeth jangle. I hope I never or at least don't often cross the line.

Denise, that is something I will need to ponder a little more.

Mandipa, I really appreciate your thoughts, don't worry about the bump ....erm said as the thread is bumped again!

Angie, please be careful on the rooftop, perhaps you could shout it in Nordies flagship store instead